One of the perks of having your parents trust you... when you said you went somewhere, they didn't check to see if you were telling the truth. They took your word for it and when the next morning rolled around, my body nestled in Oliver's covers... Oliver's arms, pressed against Oliver's naked body... My parents believed I was at Sidney's.

Last time I'd done anything with a guy was with Ceaser and that asshole had kicked me out right after due to a shit story about his parents being "on their way home." He hadn't even tried to make it believable and I had to show up at Sid's house at two o'clock in the morning, crying because I'd given my all to a guy who fucked me and tossed me right after.

With Oliver, I felt important, not only was it his first time but he made me feel like it was mine again. He was careful, understanding, and didn't push me past my comfort zone. All I knew was my legs felt like jelly when I'd woken up and Oliver's soft breaths were on my neck. His arms were wound tight around my body and I could feel his cold nose pressed to the skin beneath my ear, his eyes were screwed right in contentment and it was early enough that the sun hadn't rose.

His alarm had gone off, my eyes fluttering open and the first thing I'd noticed was him around me, second thing I'd noticed was my bra laying on the floor next to a condom wrapper and my hips ached.

Oliver didn't just fuck me, he was so gentle and loving and his eyes were so hypnotizing, lips so soft. I was so in love with him, I couldn't breathe and even the next day, I was grinning. Turning around lazily, my smile widened and his arms pulled he closer. He'd groaned softly, almost a whine before tucking my head under his chin.

Throwing my leg over his, I chuckled, hands lightly scratching his smooth, pale chest. "Oli, we have to get up."

Ever so slightly, he blew out a breath through his parted lips and pulled back so I could see his eyes slowly opening. Covered in sleep and glazed over, his eyes were that pretty little green-gray and my breath caught in my throat. "Good morning, baby." He'd spoken when his eyes had met mine, gravel in his voice and a shiver ran down my spine.

His morning voice was so fucking sexy, his bed hair was tousled and I truly didn't even care about morning breath. Honestly, neither did he. He was gorgeous like this and I felt myself falling more and more into his warm chest.

"Morning, Princess." I cheesed, reaching forward to brush a strand of hair away from his eyes and he bit at his bottom lip, trying to hide his smile. Pulling me close by his waist, his other hand came down to pull my leg back over his and he blushed at the feeling of my skin on his.

Gently caressing my side, he kissed at my lips before whispering softly, "Last night was amazing." Heat travelled wherever he touched, his fingers sinking into the indent of my waist and I watched sincerity wash over his pale face, his heart-shaped lips lifting at the corners.

His smile was small and his heart beat against my chest, he'd looked down at me as if I were his everything. I was so in love. "It was." I'd replied my voice barely there and choked up at the thought, remembering what I'd felt the night before. I'd remembered how intense it was, his dark eyes staring down at me and clouded in lust, his back sweaty and slick as we molded as one. The fucking way he felt inside me.

I was in love with Oliver fucking Remmer.

"We have school, we should probably get ready." His voice had pulled me out of my thoughts, my eyes catching his and a grin wider than the entire U.S. had spread across my face. My heart was pounding against my chest when he kissed at my forehead before sitting up and turning to grab his boxers that were laid out in a pile on the floor. I watched his back flex, hand coming to trace down his spine lazily.

"Yeah, I'll text Sid to bring me some clothes to school."

And he shivered at the feeling of my fingertips brushing at his skin, standing and turning to face me. His abrupt action had left my hand ghosting over his crotch, a blush on his cheeks. "Okay." Chuckling awkwardly at most-likely the love-filled smile on my face and pointing his thumb at the door. "I'm gonna go shower, wanna join?"

"Your mom's not home?" I'd countered, a shower with Oliver sounded like a dream but a shower with his mom in the house would be the most embarrassing thing ever. Sitting up at the thought, I held his sheets to my chest, thinking up an escape route.

I relaxed when he'd shook his head, running a hand through his dark hair, "No, she goes to work at like four." Picking up his phone to check the time, he yawned, "Elliot stayed over Logan's." And with a bite of his lip, he gestured that I get up. Complying, I dropped his blanket and paid no mind to the fact that my bra was not attached to my body.

I mean he'd already seen me naked, what was the point?

I was expecting a simple blush, I wasn't prepared for Oliver coming around to grab at my hips and lift me off his bed, dark look in his sinful eyes.

Wrapping my legs around his body, I allowed him to direct us to the bathroom. And if we did a little more than shower, no one needed to know.

⌄⌃⌄⌃⌄⌃⌄

"No, Landon is definitely the hot one."

"Brandon's hotter."

"Brandon's a fucking jerk."

"True, I like them that way though."

"What about Paul?"

"Hey," Oliver had greeted when we'd sat down at our lunch table a little late that afternoon. There was a hickey on his neck the size of Texas and I had done a shit job at covering it up with some cheap drugstore concealer. Sidney and Jan were immersed in a conversation about all things YouTube and Luca was by her side.

"Okay but Paul is too cute to be considered hot, he couldn't fuck me." Jan had mumbled at Sidney, Luca's eyes widening at that but my best friend had just continued to shove a fry in his mouth. Sidney, ignoring his comment, slapped at his hands and turned to greet my boyfriend only allowing Jan to steal off her plate.

"Hey, Olive."

Chuckling, he'd taken a seat next to Jan, in front of Sidney, and I'd taken the one next to him. "Hi, Sidney." Propping his elbows on the table, he rested his chin in his hand and fiddled with his tray, frowning at it.

They didn't have apples that day, only oranges and Oliver was quite upset about it but he didn't voice it. Deciding to put him out of his misery, I took the fruit off of his tray and started to peel at it.

Sidney started, her voice sincere and eyes focused on my boyfriend. She'd already apologized to me after lunch the day it happened, explained the situation to a slightly-sad Luca and even went as far as turning her face and telling me to punch her.

Of course, I didn't oblige but it was the thought that counted. "Look, I'm sorry about what happened-"

"It's all good." Oliver had cut her off before she could explain herself further, turning to me and watching me struggle with the orange, small smile on his face. "I'm glad I found out." He'd said before taking it from me and peeling the skin easily.

"Yeah, we talked about things." And at that, a blush grew further on his face and he tried to hide it, lip tugged into his mouth. Talked, fucked... same thing.

The small pause must've been enough for Sidney who's mouth dropped before it turned into an open-mouthed smile. "You little whore, you're glowing. God is watching."

"Shut up." I'd said although I could feel my smile growing and Oliver's hand had settled on my thigh.

And wiggling her eyebrows, Sidney went to speak, "So, you guys-"

To say Oliver was grateful for the interruption was an understatement. He'd exhaled in a grateful sigh that had me laughing until I'd recognized the voice of the interruption. "Hola, Hola." Katalina had greeted, plopping down in the seat next to Sid, where she'd originally sit but she hadn't sat with us for a month or two.

Nor did she show the need for us anymore since she'd been sitting with Phoenix lately.

"Hi." Luca had greeted when no one had spoken up, noticing the way Sidney's mood had shifted and he placed his hand over hers that laid on the table, she quickly intertwined their fingers and I admired to subtle intimacy.

"Hi." Kat had sent a small smile to him, placing her hands in her lap and biting her lip in worry. Furrowing her brows, he inquired,"Hey, Sid, what's wr-"

"Why're you here?" Her voice was blunt, jaw clenched and hand tight in Luca's. There was a fire in her eyes, angry and Jan had stiffened beside my boyfriend. Uncomfortably, jar had shifted, eyes flickering to the table for a few seconds before she made eye contact with Sidney.

"Excuse me?"

"Why," my best friend had stated again, drawing it out sarcastically and condescendingly. I could basically hear the impending fight and the way she clenched her other fist had anger radiating off. "are you here?"

Kay didn't seem to get it though, rolling her eyes and going to eat some of her pasta. "I don't know why you're so upset with me, but-" and her sentence halted when her fork was slapped from her hand and we watched it slid over the table silently and hit the floor on the other side.

"You know exactly why I'm upset."

And packing away her lunch, she pushed the container to the side and folded her hands in her lap innocently, "Sid-"

"You have an explanation for leaving during Jan's emotional breakdown or is he just not as important as Phoenix?" My best friend asked rhetorically and I could hear Jan suck in a breath beside Oliver who almost instantly gripped his shoulder gently as if he were cradling a little baby bird... Must've been his feeling of taking care of everyone else but himself.

Kat stammered over her words, trying to catch January's blue eyes but she was lucky hat he didn't look up. she was lucky that she didn't have to see the dead look that had been in his eyes for weeks. "I-I didn't... I didn't know he was having a-"

"Bullshit." Sidney's voice was filled with the same venom that had been inching up my throat and I could feel the urge to do the same, call Kat out, scream "You knew everything." But I didn't because she was already cowering in her seat, already looking with wide eyes and trembling lips.

"I didn't." She'd denied firmly and I could tell part of her believed that. Part of her wanted to believe Phoenix to be this amazing guy so she denied any wrong-doing and I understood it.

"You know what Phoenix did and you're still with him." Sidney had accused and I could tell it was true, everyone at the table could, Kat's eyes wide. "This entire time, I thought you didn't but you did and you're still dating him." There was a finger then pointing to her chest, Sidney's eyes dark and a sardonic smirk playing on her lips.

Standing to tower over Kat, she paid no mind to Luca's worried voice and spoke down at the brown haired girl harshly, "You never cared."

"I do care." Kat's voice was small as it always was, bangs shielding her eyes, she spoke with wavering confidence. "It's just complicated."

"No, it's not." And I could agree that it wasn't but there were eyes on them and Sid's voice was raising. At this school, this confrontation was way too likely to end up on some random's snapchat story. "Jan's your best friend."

"I love you, Janny..." she'd defended and Oliver's hand had shifted to grip at the boy in question's hand tightly, mine in the other, providing comfort to both of us. We needed it when Kat's voice turned desperate, eyes shooting to each of us in an attempt to coax us into agreeing, "but Phoenix is my boyfriend-"

How long had they really been dating though? "For what five months?"

"Eight." Kat's voice was sharp at that although I could hear her foundation crumbling, "And I love him so much. He's not that guy anymore."

They were eye to eye at that point and I was expecting Kat to back down, wallow at Sid's feet because if it came time to throw hands, baby girl would've been out like a light. And they were getting to that point, I could see, Sid's lips were quivering and she became careless with her words, shaking Luca's hand off her wrist. "Not that guy? People don't fucking change-" and at Oliver's sharp intake of breath, I held tighter onto his hand.

"She didn't mean that," my whisper was met with a soft smile and a kiss on my cheek.

"How dare you defend that little shit against our best friend? You've been friends with him for six years." And her hand was pointing at January, fire in her hazel eyes and a scream in her voice. Her hair was whipping around with her fast movements, she was a fucking earthquake and I was even scared.

I'd never seen Sidney this mad, never before and I wondered how much she'd really seen Jan go through.

Backing up a bit, Kat tried but failed miserably at matching Sid's volume, distant voices becoming a big louder as they talked behind her back. Rumors were everywhere and I couldn't keep up before, now with Kat getting cussed out in the cafeteria, the murmurs would be even more frequent. Her social life was gaining numbers by the minute, "Why do you hate him so much? He's not a bad person-"

And leaning back, about done with everything and point five seconds away from putting her hands on Kat, my best friend rolled her eyes. "Oh, suck my-"

"S-Sidney," Luca had but in, hand on her shaking wrist. There was something in the way he looked at her, as if he knew that he could stop her even if she wouldn't calm down. Lacing his fingers through hers, he attempted to coax her back into her seat.

Almost instantly, Jan stood, everything pausing as Sidney pushed Luca away from her and everyone's eyes were back on Jan. I could tell his blue ones were watering from the shakiness in his voice and I felt bad. "I-I'm gonna..."

"Jan-"

"No," stopping me from grabbing onto his hand, he backed up to leave, allowing me to see the tears rolling down his face, "no, Em, I'm fine." Hiccuping at that, he moved faster backwards, leaving the cafeteria with an "I'm fine, I promise." My heart was heavy in my chest and I wanted to be there for him for once.

I just didn't know how.

"Look at what you did."

"It's Phoenix who hates homosexuality, not me, he's allowed to believe what he wants to believe."

"Well, when his beliefs almost kill Jan, I think that's when it's gone too far!" Sidney was back to yelling, face so close to Kat's I wasn't sure which one to fix. Go after January or make sure that no one got hurt? "But that doesn't matter does it? Cause you're a spoiled, selfish bitch, who couldn't even see how much your boyfriend tormented your best friend."

And although it wasn't intentional, that hit me in the chest because that was exactly how I had been for almost a year. I'd neglected January as well, I didn't know what he was going through and I could feel regret clawing at me again.

Kat could too if the remorse on her face had anything to say about it. "What?"

Her voice was quiet, menacing, filled with toxins and she'd managed to slow down and get close enough for only out table to hear. "You don't know that side of it, do you? You don't know that your shitty boyfriend nearly drove Jan to killing himself. You don't know that he's the reason Jan has to go to therapy every week because he hates himself. Because he wants to kill himself."

Oliver's hand had left mine as I clung to every word and I stayed frozen to my spot much like Luca. I could really relate to him in these moments... "I'm gonna go check on him."

"Oh, okay." I should go with you. But I didn't because I knew that everyone in that cafeteria was more interested in seeing a chick-fight than saving Kat's pretty face and Luca wasn't enough to pull Sidney back.

"I hate Phoenix," and her finger was pointing at her heart as if she felt the disdain deep in her veins, "I hate him for what he's done to my best friend and you knew it was happening."

"I knew he teased him about it but it wasn't... I-I didn't know it went that far."

"Sidney." Luca had tried again and was finally successful when his girlfriend backed up.

"She's not even worth fighting..." and the tick in her jaw had finally stopped, eyes boring deep into brown ones bordered with thick lashes and there was a smile on her face. "Just know, as long as you're with him, I don't want to see you. And if you stay with him, knowing what he did, I'll hate you as much as I hate him."

There were tears in my old-friend's eyes and I averted my gaze when she'd looked over at me. "Em?" But I was staring at the table, wishing for lightning to strike me down. "Emerson, come on, talk to her about it."

I almost choked at the voice she'd given, broken and innocent, just desperate for us to understand but all I understood was that this hurt Jan and I couldn't let anything hurt Jan. "Jan's too important to me, babe, I'm sorry."

"I can't break up with Phoenix just like that, guys."

My voice was lodged in my throat but I could still manage a, "Goodbye, Katalina."

⌄⌃⌄⌃⌄⌃⌄

The bell had rang and I'd been looking around for Oliver and January for a good twenty minutes already. Every single boy's bathroom that they would've gone to had been searched and all the empty classrooms near the back entrance of the school as well. The class I'd been going to had a substitute and Sidney was sure to cover for me so I wandered out to the parking lot.

Grateful for both the school being too cheap to get those cameras fixed out front and Oliver for parking so close to the school that day, I'd smiled when I caught my best friend and boy friend sitting inside of Oliver's mom's old car with the heat blasting.

With no gas in his Jeep, because he was irresponsible, Oliver had driven us to school in the old heap that had been collecting dust since their grandpa passed, he'd had to go as far as to hot-wire it. It was an attractive car and great for cuddling which helped out considering the heat barely worked.

Pulling the sleeves of Oliver's hoodie over my hands, I opened the door and slid onto the other side of the bench seat, rubbing my hands together to preserve warmth. "You guys okay?"

It was nothing short of 40 degrees and I was freezing my ass off.

Watching my best friend cuddle into one of Oliver's spare jackets, I smiled and said boy responded. "Yeah, I think so." Turning towards Jan with a tint to his nose, he questioned. "You okay?"

And Jan nodded, pushing closer into Oliver's chest before mumbling apologies to me. "I'm sorry, I just need a hug."

"It's fine, I don't mind sharing for a little bit." And pulling some body heat for myself, I hugged Jan tight and whined when he didn't embrace me as quick as I'd liked, "Hey, doesn't mean he gets all the love."

"He's warmer." And I couldn't argue with that so resting my head on Jan's shoulder, I sighed and decided to let him have this one. I could deal with being a little cold if it made him happier.

"You want a ride home?" Oliver had offered to January and drained, he'd obviously agreed.

"Please."

And when Jan was dropped off in his house, I'd pushed closer to my boyfriend and allowed him to wrap his arm tight around my body. Everything was going to be alright.