❦ SESSIONS ❦ WITH ❦ LOVE❦

Chapter 33

|Half a truth|

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I can only smile and enjoy myself as he opens his eyes to see everything. Right in the very room that we're now in, I have worked hard to decorate and made perfect for him. It's his birthday after all, and he deserves it. "Surprise!" Everyone says. In truth, it's just a couple of his men and then Trina which is sitting there looking pale. I beam as I hug him. "Happy birthday" I whisper to him. He hasn't moved as he is frozen, and I know why. He's shocked, and he isn't shocked that often, so he's not used to it.

That's all right. I'm here with him. He may not like his birthday that much, but at least I will be here to create new memories with him and let the bad ones get lost where they will be forgotten. I back a bit away from him and turn around to be facing him. Silas is looking at me with this intense look. I knew that he was shocked, but not that much to the point where he almost looks angry at me. "Is everything all right?" I ask him, knowing very well that everyone are looking at us.

I take his hand, but he rips it away from me and walks out of the room. In shock, I follow right after him. "Silas, what's wrong? Please tell me what's wrong. Don't you like the decorations? I know that they are a bit white and happy, which is not your style at all but everything that was in your style was all about death and funerals and such, and we're celebrating your birt-" I speak, but he stops me. "Don't! Just don't, Leanna" He harshly cuts me off as he continues to storm the hallways.

Confusing me as he does so. His tone had hurt me when he spoke. I'm not going to let that get me down. "No, you don't get to walk away from me this time, Silas. We are in a relationship and the way it works is by talking to each other. The number one way to make it work is by communicating" I say, and then I get an idea. I run towards him and take his hand. "We're going to my office" I tell him, as I drag him. This time I don't give him time to rip his hands away from me.

There is something that he needs to get off his chest as I can see just how much it eats at him. I don't look at him nor do I say anything as I drag hm through the house. Much like I had done before. This time we are going to my office where I make him sit down. Silas tries to argue with me about it, but he has to learn that when he has something that he needs to get lout of him, he has to say it. "Now, still" I order him as I sit down and take his folder.

I have a pencil ready to write down anything that he says. Looking at his face and into his kohl back eyes, I can see that he's not happy to be here. That is just how this is going to work, he needs to speak about it or else it will hurt him even more. It is never good to bottle up feelings or else they will just explode and no one wants that to happen. He sighs, but doesn't say anything. "Silas, there is something about your own birthday-" I stop as I look at him.

I watch him closely and even if for a short second, his face changed. This pain flashed for his eyes and I know that he has been something traumatic that had happened in the past. He has told me about his past. How he became this gang member and such and because the ruthless person that the world knows him at. Silas has told me a lot of who he was and is, but there are still things that are missing. Holes in his stories that he avoids and doesn't talk about.

"That you need to share. Please don't hide from me. I'm not some stranger, Silas. I love you and you love me. Please don't shut me out of your past" I practically beg him. His face is hardened, and it's clearly difficult for him to even think about telling me this. Someone has to know of the feelings that he has inside of him, and that someone is me. Silas has been through pain and suffering, now he can let all that go to become the best version of himself, the better version of Silas. Soon he will be able to accept the past and move on.

Silas gives me a look that tells me just how broken on the inside he is on the inside. This broken side of him, I swore to myself, I would help him heal. I'm going to help him get better, but that doesn't start unless he wants to get my help and accept that I am here to listen to him, and I'm willing to listen to what he has to say. "The day that I was born has been hard for me to get past" He begins, the words alone I can tell are painful to say.

❦❦

"The same woman that brought me into this world was taken away from me on my birthday some years ago" I say to her. There is only one person that knows of what happened that cruel day, and that same person is now down in my basement and a traitor and a mole. Leanna stares at me with the most sorrowful look that she can give, and it's true, and she is really sorry for what had happened. It won't change the past of what took place, and it won't bring my mother back to me from the dead.

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea" She tries, and while I know that she feels horrible about it, I can't fault this amazing woman for wanting to do something to me. I stand up and walk over to her, leaning down and taking the folder from her and putting it aside I lift her into my arms, sit down in her seat and put her on my lap. I see tears in her eyes. Silently I take her hands and hold her in my arms as she is lying on my lap. She's sad about it and I feel terrible to have to burden her with the sad truth.

Her eyes are only on me as I take in her features, the ones that make me insane each time I see her. "Leanna, it's not your fault. You are as much as a victim as I am" I tell her. The words that I said make her confused, and it shows. I let out a sigh. "It's time you know the truth. The whole truth" I tell her. The truth that has been hidden from Leanna for so long is finally coming to light, how she will take it is anyone's guess.

She doesn't say anything, probably waiting for me to say something. Waiting for me to finally tell her the truth, the one that she has been waiting for for so long. I can see it in her eyes that she wants to know the truth. She asked me for the truth, and I told her that I would give her the truth someday. It would seem that that day has come now, and she will need to know the truth. I won't hide it from her any longer. "The same man that killed my mother was also the one that killed your mother" I tell her.

Her mouth drops open from the shock, and the confusion flash before her eyes. "You are the daughter of an heiress and a man that owned the facility you were in, you would refer him as the Warden and that is what his name had been, such a shame for him. When you were only a baby, the house you and your mother were in burned to the ground, killing her, but she got you to safety. You had gotten hurt while she tried too safe you, on the brink of death you miraculously lived through it" I tell her.

"I assume that has been explained to you?" I ask her, but she nods her head and then shakes it. "A little, I don't really understand that part" Leanna says. People don't realize that she's different and information needs to be pt into the simplest form for her to understand, her brain isn't fully developed, never has been. She isn't able to process things like the rest of us and appears slow, yet it's one of the things that I love about her, she's adorable when she's confused and doesn't know what to do.

"Your head got hurt while she got you to safety, and because of that there was some damage in your brain. When your father found you that night, he tried to get you help. But, it was beyond his control. He did the only thing that he could, he gave you away. To people that were able to treat you and help you function like any other. Only the damage to your brain was only getting worse the more they tried to help you, they were smirking you worse and worse, to the point where they lost control of you" I tell her.

Not sure that she understands what I'm telling her, but I have no clue on ho to say it any differently. "Your father was outraged that they weren't trying to help you, but push you further down a path that you did not want to pass. Leanna, your memories might think of this differently because of the trauma you suffered, you forced yourself to think of it positively to save yourself from the trauma you were enduring. And that is how you remember your childhood. Every time something horrible would happen too you, you turned it into a fantasy of your own creation" I say.

"The ice cream trips were nothing more than them putting your body through intense cold to see how you would react. They had chambers that would cool down to a temperature that would be enough to kill someone. You did not even get hurt. You were protected by something, someone. As you grew older you started to reveal that the voices were helping you. When your father learned of what was being done to you and how these voices were with you, he built a facility underground, to keep you safe" I say to her.

I hold her hand to make sure that she's following me, she will not understand this unless I tell her the whole truth. "But, he could not control the one you become, he feared for your life. Chained you up, so you would not hurt yourself and then used drugs to keep the voices from reaching you. Even when he tried that he could not reverse the damage that had already been done and because of the trauma and your underdeveloped brain, you acted as if you were a child and that was your life" I tell her.

"In trickery you lived, until Warden, your father owed the wrong people money. The same people that took your mother away from you. It was how I learned about you. He and I came to the agreement that if I got you then I would pay his debt. The plan had been hatched and all I had to do was get you out of there and to safety before they would kill you. I never thought that I would fall in love with you" I confess to her, some of these words is hard for me to say and tell her.

Leanna holds my hands and gives me a small smile. She kisses my cheek. "I don't need to hear anymore, I just want to tell you that I know that you have been through a lot and I have too. But, without everything that has happened to us, we would not have met, and I would not love such a wonderful man that has done so much for me. I love you, Silas, bad parts and all" She says to me. I can tell that she's trying to process the things that I've told her and I can even see that she's afraid of what I am going to say next.

The truth, however, or the rest of it will have to wait some time, because it is enough for today. I can't overwhelm her, especially when she is in a fragile state now. There are things that are different about her now, if Leanna thinks that I don't notice that she's not herself, then she's wrong. I can see that she's missing something, and it is hard for her, I can't let her go through more pain. She has now discovered her parents, her true parents and not the doctors that pretended to be her parents.

How the Warden as he calls himself is her father, it would be bad for me to tell her that I was the one that killed him. He had it closing and if it wasn't I who killed him, it would have been someone else. He had a large target on his back that he could not shake. I give her a smile as I pull her in for a kiss. "How about we join the party and then when it's over, I have a present for you, one that you will like" Leanna says to me after we break the kiss.

The smirk on her face tells me that she has something planned, and I am eager to know what that is, and I really want to know, when it comes to her there is no telling what she will do next. She's a wild card in every sense and I love her for it. My body is eager to have her, and soon it will get that fish granted. Soon, not yet though. I sharply nod. "All right, for you" I say to her. The people have been waiting for us long enough.

Together we walk towards the part that she has organized. Never knowing that she opened old scars that will never be able to close. They haunt me for the rest of my life. However, with Leanna by my side, I'm sure that I will be able to get through the agony that tries to take me down. With her, I can do anything and for her, I would do anything, she's everything to me. She is the world to me and I would do everything to protect her, even if it means keeping the truth to myself a bit longer.