❦ SESSIONS ❦ WITH ❦ LOVE❦

Chapter 37

|The best trait|

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We eat the dinner and talk and laugh while doing so. "Silas?" I ask him. He looks at me with a smile on his face. It's a nice face to look at, and I find that I never really want to look away from him. He raises an eyebrow as if to ask me what I wanted. "Why did you do all of this for me?" I ask him and gesture towards the restaurant and the food and just this dinner in general. "I do love it, it's not that, it's just I'm a bit curious. That's all" I tell him when I see this small hurt flash before his eyes.

Thinking that I did not like it. Well, this is better than anyone has ever done, and I'm glad that I am sharing it with Silas. There is literally no one else on this planet that I would have wanted to share this evening with other than him. "Your whole life, you've never experienced a normal event. I wanted to give you a sense of the things that were denied to you" He tells me. I nod. "But also because I love you and I want to give you the whole world on a silver platter" Silas says to me.

My heart melts to hear his words and just his voice since it makes me feel beautiful on the inside. Silas makes me feel things that no one else has ever made me feel, and I know that I only love him more for that. I love him more than I can ever say in words and there is nothing and no one that can ever change my mind about the love that I feel. I give him a smile. "But why now?" I ask him. Though, I do feel like this dinner has been planned thoroughly.

Not just something that was put together randomly in one day, but maybe something that has been planned for some days even. Silas chuckles. "I needed everything to be perfect. You, Leanna, deserves the best of the best, I could not have anything less than that" He tells me. I reach over and take his hand. "I could be sitting on the cement outside and eating trash if it meant that I could spend time with you. I don't care about anything fancy, only the two of us" I say to him.

He raises an eyebrow at me and my words, a bit offended I think. "But, this is very lovely you know, and I really appreciate everything that you have done. Just don't forget that this night is to spend time together and be in love, that is what this is about and not what is the fanciest thing you can give me. You have already given me everything that I could want. You" I tell him. I truly do feel like the luckiest woman alive to be with him right now, this moment with him is everything to me.

With everything that we have been going through, I just find that being with him now means more to me than ever. And the night that we spent on his birthday is still fresh in my mind. The memories of us together means more to me than any possession that Silas could have ever given me. I hold his hand to tell him that I do love all of this, but I do love him more, and I do hope he knows that and sees it on my face that I do love him more than all of the things that can give me with money.

"Leanna, you never stop amazing me with your kindness" He says, and I smile at him. Both of us know that I've not always been kind, but that are the tiniest details and don't mean a thing now. "And I am never going to stop. What is the fun in that?" I ask and he chuckles and rolls his eyes. "Even when you hate it, I won't stop because I won't change me to please you, just so you know. I think it's best you know that now because it's toxic to change for someone else when you don't want to change" I tell him.

I know that Silas has changed with my help. The sessions that I've given him have helped him because the best version of himself and I love that he is the person that he is now. Silas did not change. No, he just became the person that is deep inside of him and that is all that I could have ever asked for. Because he is now the one he was always meant to be, he's happier, and I am happy for him.

"I don't want you to change yourself, Leanna. And I will never hate anything that you do. May be it irritated me to the limit but never hate. Nothing that you can ever do or say will make me hate you. I just hope that you feel the same way about me" He says. For a moment it felt like there was another meaning to his voice as when I look into his kohl black eyes there is something that was not there before, as if he wanted to tell me something but did not know how to say it.

Well, he will tell me when he is ready. I give him a bright smile. "Believe me, you are everything to me and I do not know if I even have the ability to hate you" I tell him. This is the truth, it is the truth in its purest form. I do love him. More than anything. There is not a change that I can ever hate Silas for the things that he has done in the past or will do in the future. It is his life and who man I to hate this man for his life choices?

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Seeing the most beautiful woman my eyes have ever laid in front of me makes me think that all the terrible things that I've done in the past have all been worth it. The people that I have tortured and killed have all brought her to me. Without her, I would be lost, killing anyone who'd stand in my way without as much as a thought. Now, I have a reason to end their lives and that reason is the woman sitting across from me. She is so close to me and yet so far away at the same time.

All I want to do is take her into my arms and hold her where she is safe. Where the world can't find nor harm her again. I keep thinking of her words, how she said she could never hate me. She will once she learns the truth. I just hope that she stays true to her word and doesn't. I still have much to hide and the woman in front of me can never know o those things, or she will become angry. She will either try to shoot me or kill me or shoot me twice.

"If you had a choice between the moon or the sun, what would you choose?" She then randomly asks me. I nearly roll my eyes at how adorable she is, but it makes it impossible to not smile at her. She says the most random things at the most random times. Though, I have to applaud that she does have a mind that is as amazing as she is. "I would choose the moon" I tell her, and she giggles. A sound that is most precious to me beside herself. "I would choose the sun" She says. "The sun is much brighter and warmer" She explains, and I chuckle.

"Of course it is, but the best mysteries happen when the moon is out. The riddles take place, and it is much better to kill in the night when no one can see it" I tell her with a smirk on my face. That isn't the real reason and I have a feeling that she can see right through me. She raises an eyebrow at me but doesn't question it. The real reason is the way that she looks when the moonlight shines on her during the night. When I hold her and watch as she sleeps.

Protecting her from all harm, the moonlight shows me just how beautiful she can be, then again I already knew that. Her beauty is unlike any other that I have ever seen, and she will continue to impress me with her beauty for as long as I live. Leanna's beauty is not only on the outside but also on the inside. Despite her (sometimes) murderous thoughts she is kind and her soul is kinder that mine will ever become. Leanna is the definition of a pure soul and I would not change her for the world.

The world can all go to Hell for all I care. As long as we are here, and we are together, that is all that matters. She said it the best. We could be eating trash as long as we are together, it would not matter to me. I just need to hold her in my arms and feel her soft breathing and hear the heart inside her chest beating in motion. Telling me that she is alive and that she is well. She's mine and only mine. The world can't have her. Only I can have her, and only I can love her in the way she deserves.

I truly do not deserve this woman. "But, the sun brings warmth and happiness, and you simply can't pass the opportunity of being happy" She argues, and I laugh. She truly is one of a kind. "I suppose not" I say too her. Allowing her to win this like anything else. I watch as she greedily eats her hamburger. It's one of the things that I love about her. She can be in a fancy restaurant on a fancy date and eat however she likes. That is the best trait in a woman.

She doesn't care how dirty her face has become nor that she eats with her hands. Leanna doesn't care about how people think of her. She never has. "Silas?" She asks me. I nod so she could ask me anything. She would often ask the strangest things, but that is only because her brain is everywhere. Sometimes she doesn't even take notice of what is around her or when someone has spoken. It's not her fault, she's simply different than everyone else. "Why are you looking at me like that?" She asks. "Like what?" I ask her.

"I don't know, like you love me" She says. As if she had to think of what her next words were supposed to be. She is like that sometimes. Says one thing but forgets or doesn't know what to say and says something that is not even related to what she was trying to say. "Because I do love you, Leanna. More than anything on this planet. I love you" I tell her. Wanting for the right moment that our lives will soon begin. It is not yet time and I will not be able to ask her yet.

When it may not look like it, I have this night planed out. Leanna being the beautiful person that she is makes me have a backup plan as well. There are times that she doesn't understand what is happening to her and too much will overwhelm her. Her brain is still that of a child and may not understand the world like everyone else. She is one of a kind and I love her for that. Nothing needs to be changed about her, not a single thing. She's perfect in the way that she is, and she is a Goddess.

There is no other word that can describe her. She truly is a goddess in the flesh. "I love you" She whispers to me. She didn't need to say it louder than that. I would always hear her, and be there for her when she needs me. He words spoke of truth and truth alone. Her feelings for me are as true as my feelings for her. "This food is delicious, who makes it?" She asks me. "The best chef in the world" I tell her. I was not about to let some amateur make her food for her.

I did not lie when I said she deserves the best and I will not lie about that. "Well, that chef is certainly the best" She says. We finish eating and while I don't feel that hungry, I do enjoy seeing her so happy with the food that she has. "Want to order dessert?" I ask her. She nods her head and smiles at me. "Do you even need to ask?" She asks me. "No, I don't think so" I say to her, she's so beautiful like and with her bright eyes that make me fall in love with her all over again.

She presses the bell once more once we have decided what we wanted to have. I let her choose first. The surprise that I've waited for so long is finally here, and soon she will know. It has made even me, Silas, nervous. Never have I done anything like this before, and finally I am about to do it. Before this night is over and in just a couple of minutes the time will come. Soon I will ask her to be mine forever. I will ask her to love me for all the rest of our days.

If she were to deny, I will take the gun that I have and shoot myself. Allowing her to live the rest of her life without me, if she denies this then I do not have anything to live for anymore. A fund has already been set in her name. If I were to die or disappear, then everything I own goes to her. I would take care of her even when I were not there to hold her hand and guide her the way towards happiness. I do not believe in a God nor a higher power other than a gun, but I do pray that she will accept my proposal.

Dessert arrives. From my pocket, I take out the box. It is now or never. Looking unto her eyes to calm the nerves that have risen inside me. When I stand up from the chair that I sat in and go down on my knees in front of her. With one of my hand I take her hand and hold in mine. With the other one I open the box that I have, showing the ring inside. A ring that I chose (stole) myself and one that I have deemed worthy of her. "Leanna..."