《Memoirs of A Healer/Clinical Social Worker: Autobiography of Bruce Whealton》Section Eight: Life Without Lynn: Injustice, Poverty & Homelessness
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The horrifying events of late July, August, and early September were described in chapters 41 through 46 which make up Section Six. I structured it around the changes in Lynn's health. I had been in love with her. I loved the career that I had built over sixteen years but I wasn't in love with my clients or my career. That being said, the career reflected some important ideas about what gave life meaning to me. It is in the connections that we make.
For me, part of what makes life meaningful is doing activities that are social in nature or which involve helping others. If we were to think of a hierarchy of needs, to me love and connections are the highest needs that bring the greatest rewards. Abraham Maslow listed self-esteem and accomplishment above love and connections and self-actualization above that. In a sense, it is easier to reach these higher needs if we have met our needs at lower levels.
I had lost the love of my life. I lost that sense of being part of a family - Lynn and I were a family. I lost my career. I didn't have funds saved up for an event like this because I had not seen anything so all-encompassing happening. I was lost and overwhelmed.
That feeling of being lost would linger for the next few years. I had my intellect and a proven history of overcoming obstacles and challenges but this was different. It's hard to find meaning when everything that gave meaning to my life was gone.
The bigger point is that every aspect of the life I had known for years was lost in the timespan of under two months time. It seemed like common sense that I was going to need support during this time period. At the time, I made the mistake of thinking that my family would be supportive. I should have reached out to my friends. I had a very special friend named Thomas Childs and I will describe that friendship.
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This section of the book covers the darkest years of my life. To be clear, the most disturbing events in my life occurred mainly in the month of August of 2000 which is described during the previous section of the book.
During this section of the book, I cover the years from late 2000 through some time in 2006. I knew only poverty and homelessness. This was an experience that I had never known previously. It should be noted that I had worked as a social worker and was well aware of how poverty and homelessness impact others. I also knew of how I might advise others to confront these challenges and barriers. So, I would have drawn upon the wealth of my knowledge of resources that might exist to overcome barriers of this nature.
I was intelligent, educated, informed, and knowledgeable. I knew I had skills that I could offer the world based on my years of experience in the mental health and psychiatric field. Things were never that simple or straightforward though.
In this section, I will also describe the victimization and injustice which was hinted at previously in my book. This will make you question everything you thought you knew about these matters. I will assume that we all agree that it is disturbing when a good person is harmed and has their entire life destroyed based on the lies of another person.
What about when the victim is treated like the perpetrator and nothing the person says will satisfy the police who are supposed to find the truth? Are we wrong to believe that the police want to find the actual truth and that they follow all the evidence wherever it leads? I can't generalize unless I were to discover that the police, in general, are encouraged or trained to find evidence during an interrogation to confirm their original opinion. If that is true then the best advice is to say nothing at any point when an encounter seems like an "interrogation" if nothing you say can alter the opinions and impressions of the police.
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This section will culminate in an examination of how viewing the police as authorities who will discover the truth failed for me.
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TL TD
"You know that I'm dying and you still want this?" I asked confused.She walked slowly to me, never taking her eyes off me. Like two piece of magnet coming together, I couldn't pull away. Resting her forehead on mine, she finally spoke "I love you"
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