Time

Flies

When

You're

In a

Rush or when

you rush it.

and to be honest, right now I've been feeling a bit more pessimistic.

I have all my mind in different places lately.

I now work with all ages, specializing in children and adolescents using a psychodynamic and neuro-developmental perspective on relationships and individual growth. The intergenerational transmission, as well as the secondary trauma that can emerge in help providers.

I took a deep breath, I'm beginning to have a feeling of regret at this job.

I feel drained of my energy and have a slow burnout of passion.

Because sometimes when a patient says " No". It takes more than 2,3 or more sessions for them to open up fresh and old wounds.

Sometimes no matter the amount of assurance a family, friend, or close circle can tell, their trauma keeps biting back and it takes a great amount of patience on my part to keep note of the progress.

I glance at some of the decorative pieces I have on my desk:

Yep, I'm on the borderline.

there are cases that I find so disturbing far more than The Girl in the basement which gives me goosebumps each time I take a scan at the files while some are just plain mental delusion and trauma.

hmmmmmm. ..

giving a confused smile at the depiction at my desk.

I need a break but I don't need a Kitkat.

a coffee for that or maybe a lengthy talk with mom since I haven't called her for almost a week or maybe just walk away from this.

My mother knows I work for a prestigious hospital but she doesn't know that I work for a Prestigious Mental aka Medical Hospital.

I let out a sigh then shut the door of my office silently took the nearest shortcut and was greeted by some colleagues of mine.

" Ms. , good day! ".

Nurse Kristen waved at me and then handed me a small cup of a caffeine boost. She's always cheerful and ready to jump at any conversation. She's the one I mostly talk to since some of the people here have a mind of their own.

" I'm good just some improvement to track" dryly I responded.

"You're one of the best we have in this hospital, to be honest".

I felt a red on my cheeks, it feels humbling to be recognized and at the same time guilty for thinking of going on sabbatical.

I've saved enough for two years that can afford to squander for some time. This job is awful at times but it certainly feels good to help people too and that's me restraining myself from voicing my opinions.

I value the hard work to obtain stable finances that include spending just enough, buying the things needed, and some fancy stuff like a coffee maker while being debt-free.

Correct priorities and no sideline of romance. I believe I might encounter one of my dream travels.

Romance,

something I'm hoping for but not going to rush. I will come at the right moment at the right time.

Cross fingers.

I'm done with the coffee when I saw something I hope I will never get to see again. something caught my eye, a memory embedded in my mind for some time.

I know Kristen was still talking about the cons and pros of working in this prestigious hospital but I pay no attention as I get up to my flats and followed that person in the corridor which is strictly forbidden by the administration.

huh? I wrinkle my brows. security never goes here, it's strictly off-limit for sanitation purposes and high-level ranking hospital workers only but I can't let this go even when my heart is drumming at my sudden daredevil risk.

the cat always gets killed by curiosity but never the mouse for the vermin knows when to hide and seek and I'll be the mouse, not the cat.

so I decided to halt my pursuit and let it go. I turn back my heels to go back when suddenly yanked from my spot and by the blood of Mary I was bitten on the right hand.

"arrrrrghhhh".

I slap him so hard by my left that my hand hurt so much but his teeth did not let go instead he bit me even more than before until I am shredding fat tears at how this hurts. He never paid attention to what I did.

I've never been bitten before by any animal but this is something I will never forget.

this man is insane and like an animal. maybe that's the reason He's here at the institution.

"Please stop", I say mumbling while I sob. it hurts so much then swiftly he's kissing my hand gently like a person who had been apart from his beloved for so long but I'm not beloved and my anger and hate for this guy at his animal behavior is intolerable. now he leaving soft pecks on the bite mark. he let go then straightened his jacket the look me in the eyes as though he did no crime.

I take a look at my hand and I almost wail at loud at how it looks.

my whimpers became muffled when a kali knife is in my mouth. my tears clouding my vision as he came near me stifling my emotions if every I try to move he might shove the damn thing on me so I stayed still.

"shush my dear. it's just a mark" he said.

his voice leaves no room for debates while the knife is still in my mouth.

"I have a kink for Bites," he said then winked at me. the devil winks beautifully while I'm stunned speechless and trembling at what will happen next.

no apologies for the sudden awful bite just stating what he wants to say then I remember his face.

he was the same guy that bites me 2 years ago out of nothing. he has gotten even more ruggedly handsome than the last time but now is not the time to look at his damn face when impractically at his mercy.

he pulled out the knife from me not before having me taste the metal part on my tongue.

"be gentle as a Dove but be subtle like a snake my dear" he whispered in my ear while letting me feel how this turn him on. He presses his erection on my side, I gasp when he kissed my jaw and he left a small bite there too. My breathing became shallow when I saw him move past me and walk again as though nothing has happened, vacating me to my thoughts went wild at my abuser who walks and talks freely.

He's gotta be a patient here but who and where?