(a/n): I just spent an hour and a half looking for a centipede and then another hour later I find it and then another hour later i find out it is actually a millipede :/

And yet it is still alive and idk where it is.

"Let's go back inside." Marcus Says.

"Okay." I respond.

We go back inside the church. People begin to leave. We both eat three peppermints to hide the smell of beer on our breath, and then we part ways. Tonight was strange, and I hoped he'd forget every major detail. I hope he wouldn't remember the hug. He barely knows anything about me, yet he knows more than anyone else knows, besides my father and Belle.

What if he tells people at school I drunk a beer with him and I hugged him? What if he tells them that my dad dates a girl in our grade?

I hope he doesn't.

THE NEXT MORNING

Thursday, February 21st

I wake up, and my dad is gone. Belle went home, and my dad went somewhere. He would often spend a night or two at a hotel just to get away from home. Maybe Belle went with him, actually. I hoped that's what he was doing. There was a knock at the door. I throw a blanket over myself and go downstairs. I look out the peep hole.

It's Bad Boy Marcus.

"What do you want?" I say through the door.

"Is that girl and your dad home?" He asks.

"No, why?" I reply.

"I need to talk to you."

"Ugh, hold on."

I run upstairs and put on some sweatpants and a hoodie. I went to sleep in my panties and a tank top. I run back down and open the door.

"Come in."

He comes in and sits on the couch. I also sit on the couch, but on the other end.

"We got along last night." He says blankly.

"Yeah, I guess.." I say, wondering what he would say next.

"We hugged." He says.

I nod.

"We drank."

I nod again.

"I met your dad and his girlfriend."

I nod once again.

"You didn't want me to though." He says.

I nod.

"I opened up to you." He says.

"Not really." I say.

"What all did I tell you?" He asks.

"You told me where your from, and you told me that I'm interesting yet so cold, and that I'm the only person you consider a friend. You also said I'm the only girl you've cared about this much."

He nods, and bites his lip.

"I remember all the flirtatious remarks I made." He laughs.

"Yeah." I agree.

"The one about you being a spy..and how I'd have to kiss you if you were.." He says.

I laugh.

"I'm glad we are friends." He says.

"Me too, I guess. Do you remember saying there was something secretive about me?" I ask cautiously.

"Yes, but I don't know why I said that. I guess it's because you're different." He says.

"Yeah, no secret here." I lie.

"We're still friends, right?" He asks.

"Yeah." I agree.

Would I end up regretting that?

————————————

"Where's your dad and his girl?" He asks.

"Who knows. Probably a hotel. She's probably either at school. Or maybe she's skipping because she graduates on the 28th."

"Oh. Well can I stay here until it's time to leave for school?" He asks.

"Ugh, whatever." I say.

I need to take my medicine or I may kill him any minute now.

I go upstairs and go into the bathroom. I take my medicine and then I get in the shower. I brush my teeth, and get ready. I put on black leggings and a black tank top. I put a red sweater over it. I put on my black doc martins. I brush out my hair and let it hang down. I don't put on any makeup, just chapstick. Then, I grab my backpack and go downstairs.

"Did you get your homework done for Miss Fits class?" He asks.

"Yup."

I usually manage to get my homework done during free period. Now that clubs are going to take away all that time, I'll have to do it at home.

"Are you excited for our first day of clubs?" He asks.

"I guess."

You wouldn't expect him to be this good at small talk.

"You're so emotionless all the time." He says, sarcastically rolling his eyes.

"Want something to eat?" I ask him, ignoring his remark.

"Sure."

"Come pick, I don't know what you like." I say, making myself some coffee.

He looks through my cabinet and grabs 4 cereal bars. He looks in my fridge and grabs a gallon of milk. I watch him, wondering what he's doing.

I burst out laughing when he pours a glass of milk and dips his cereal bar in it.

"What's so funny?" He asks, with a smirk.

"You. Why do you do that?" I ask.

"It's good." He says, his mouth full of food.

I pour my coffee into a cup and put the lid on it. I drink some of it.

"What do you put in your coffee?" He asks me.

"Nothing." I reply.

"Seriously? I've never met a girl who drinks black coffee."

"Yeah you have. Just now." I say.

"I don't like coffee." He states.

"You're missing out." I say, with a smirk.

"Nah." He reply's.

I eat a cereal bar, and I grab my coffee and we leave. We are walking to school and Jackson and James begin to call our names.

"Brianna! Marcus!" Jackson shouts.

We turn around.

They run up to us.

"What's up." Jackson says.

"Nothing." Marcus replies.

I don't talk that much when they're around. I only talk when they say something directly to me.

"Why y'all walking together?" James asks.

"Because we are friends." Marcus answers like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

We walk to school and they continue to talk.

—————————

During our first days of clubs, it went great. In Drama, everyone had to say their name and they're favorite movie and then we watched 'The Greatest Showman' the other days. In College Readiness, we took quizzes on what we want to be when we are older. I want to be a writer, and surprisingly, so does Marcus.

More days went by. Me and Marcus stayed friends. I didn't tell him anything more about me, and he didn't tell me any more about himself. We hang out a little bit outside of school. We got drunk on the 22nd, at a party he invited me to. I didn't want to go, but he bribed me with $20. So I went. Jackson was throwing the party. It was more of a kickback with about 10 people. There was one other girl, and she barely had any clothes on.

February 22nd FLASHBACK:

"I really don't want to do this." I tell Marcus when he pulls up to the house.

He owned an old car that was apparently his uncles hand-me-down car. It was a black and red 1970 Ford Capri. He never brought up his dad so I assume he isn't in his life. Maybe he passed away, or maybe he's in jail. I don't know. But he seems to be close to his uncle from what he tells me. The car was nice, just old.

"It'll be fine." He assures me.

We walk to the door. He doesn't knock, he just opens it. We enter and Jackson greets us. He gives me a hug that wasn't welcome but I blame the alcohol he's consumed. We walk into a basement and I'm introduced to the other guys and the girl. We all get drunk and some of the guys smoke. I can't believe I went from being an introvert, to being an introvert in a basement with 10 guys, a girl, and weed. Marcus didn't smoke, but he drank. So did I. They played Truth or Dare but I didn't play. We played beer pong and I played that. We also played never have I ever.

"Never have I ever, been drunk at church." Marcus says with a smirk.

I roll my eyes and drink.

"Wow, that's not very holy." Some dude named Jay says.

I roll my eyes at them.

"Never have I ever made out with someone." Some dude named Malik says.

Everyone drinks except for me.

"You've never made out with anyone?" Marcus asks me, in shock.

"Nope." I say.

I've never made out with anyone. I've never had a boyfriend either. Wow, I'm very boring. But I'm fine with boring.

"We might have to change that." Someone named Jordan says with a wink.

"She doesn't like our type of people." Marcus Says.

"That doesn't mean we can't make out." He says.

"Yea it does. That's exactly what it means." I say.

He gestures to the other girl, Lily.

"Would you make out with her?" He asks, with a smirk.

"She doesn't like girls." Marcus Says, his tone getting more serious.

"Okay so who would you make out with?" Jordan asks.

"No one." I say, getting very annoyed.

He comes up to me.

"What about me?" He asks, his face too close.

I try not to kill him right here.

Marcus grabs the dude by his arm.

"Dude, back the hell off, she doesn't want to kiss any of you assholes." He snaps.

"Thanks." I mutter.

He smiles a short smile at me. We return to the game. No one crosses any lines. Except for me, I was really drunk. But I didn't say anything weird.

BACK TO THE PRESENT:

A party on a Friday. On Saturday I had a meeting with my therapist.

FLASHBACK Saturday, Feb 23:

"There's a knock on the door!" My dad yells.

I run downstairs and open the door. I was wearing a long sleeved black shirt and blue jeans.

Cassie and my personal therapist were here.

Cassie hugs me and I awkwardly hug her back.

"Can we go upstairs?" Cassie asks me.

I nod. We go upstairs into my room.

"How have you been?" My therapist, Molly, asks me.

"I've been okay." I respond.

"Made any friends?" She asks.

"Yeah, kinda. One." I respond.

"Oh. That's good. What are some of the things y'all do together?"

Why are therapists so nosy?

"We just hangout." I respond.

I don't think they'd like it if I told them we drank at church, and went to a party where people were smoking marijuana and drinking strong alcohol.

"But how? We want to know how you spend your free time, Brianna." Cassie Says.

"We hang out. Why do you need to know what exactly we do?" I ask.

"It's not anything illegal is it?"

"No."

Yes.

"Okay at least tell me about your friend." Molly Says.

"Um..he has a lot of friends, he's annoying, but I tolerate him."

"That is...interesting. Y'all are just friends?"

"Yes." I say, glaring at them.

Why do I even have a therapist?

"So have you harmed yourself recently?" Cassie asks.

I shake my head no. That was an honest answer too. Luckily, Belle has been distracting my Dad, so he wasn't around to hit me.

"Okay, well lets weigh you, and then we are going to have you undress, not completely of course, but enough to where we can see if you have any new scars." Cassie explains.

They told me in the ward that the home visits would be like this. I take off my pants and shirt and they inspect my skin. No new scars.

"This is good." Cassie Says.

I step on the scale and my weight dropped by 2 pounds.

"I know you haven't lost much weight, but that's a lot featuring that it hasn't even been a week since you left." Molly Says.

"What are your eating patterns?" Cassie asks me.

"Normal eating patterns. I eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner." I lie.

I don't starve myself, I just don't have an appetite.

"If you continue to lose weight, we will have to put you on a medication that makes you hungry." Cassie Says.

"I already have seven medications, what's one more?" I say, rolling my eyes.

"Speaking of medications, you seem irritated. Have you been taking your medications?" Molly asks.

"Yes. I have."

"Well you should work on your attitude and mood. You still seem depressed and irritable. Also, judging by the state your room is in, you haven't had much energy recently." Molly Says.

"My room can be messy. If you care so much, you clean it." I snap.

I continue to get dressed.

"I don't know, we might have to think about something to do next session, because you seem the same as last time. You're just not cutting, which is progress."

Progress? It's harder than they think.

"Anyways, lets talk about your anxiety." Molly Says.

"How has it been?" She asks.

"Better." I lie.

"When was your last panic attack?" Cassie asks.

"I don't know, can you just leave? I haven't cut myself, that's the most important thing." I snap.

"Okay, but what about your PTSD, ADHD, and memory?" Molly asks.

"They are actually way better. I remember things like a normal person. My ADHD is under control, and my PTSD usually only bugs me in my sleep." I say, honestly.

"So you have trouble sleeping?" They ask

They only hear what they want to hear. I'm fine. PTSD keeps me up sometimes, but that's it.

"Oh my god." I mumble.

They begin to write something. They must be prescribing medicine.

"We are going to hold off on the medicine that makes you hungry, but we are going to prescribe you some medicine to help you sleep."

I roll my eyes.

"Whatever. Can you leave now?"

"Sure. But you're gonna have to open up to us soon." Molly Says.

I've opened up to Cassie before, but not when Molly is here.

I don't have to do anything.

They leave and I decide to clean up my room. They would be mailing the medicine to help me sleep.

Am I even me anymore?

I wonder how much these medicines change me.

I can't even be myself.

—————————————

BACK TO THE PRESENT:

That was a horrible meeting. I hoped it would never happen again. They mentioned that they have to drive too far to get to my house, so I'm gonna have to go to them in the future. At least they can't judge my room anymore.

So life went on. Me and Marcus stayed friends. For some reason, on Sunday, we didn't go to church with Belle, and my dad was in a worse mood.

————————————

Quote: "He held such a strong face, but had such a soft heart."

Hehe I also made that quote off the top of my head.

Bye 👋