Authors Note: This story does have a warning at the beginning of the story, so technically, I don't have to put a warning on each chapter that contains certain content, but I feel like it's necessary. Some of these chapters mention strong feelings, actions, beliefs, etc. I apologize if any of these offend you but it is just a story. This is not a happy story, and it definitely mentions mental illness a lot, so if you were looking for a story that is all sunshine and rainbows, this is the wrong story. I like stories that make you feel. So if this story doesn't make you feel anything, you either have no soul, or I'm a trash writer. Anyways, enjoy, and let me know what you think. Constructive criticism, comments, and questions are always welcome :3

THE NEXT MORNING

Tuesday, February 26th

I wake up super late. It's past 12 when I wake up. It's 12:40 PM.

"Damn it!" I shout.

I had a serious hangover. I get up and look out my balcony window. My dads not home. I get up. I decide not to go to school. I go in the bathroom to take my medications. I then get in the shower and slowly get ready for the day. I put on an oversized blue hoodie, and no pants because I'm just chilling at home. I don't brush my hair out, but I pull it into a ponytail. I go downstairs to see if my dad left my weekly money on the counter, because he didn't give it to me yesterday. He did. I take it, and I call a taxi to take me to the store. I put on some black leggings first. I was going to have a sleepover by myself. I make a list of things I need.

LIST

•chips

•candy

•face mask

•treats

•new warm blanket

•Soda

•coffee (lots)

•cereal bars

•new pillow (softer)

The taxi arrives and I get in. I tell them to take me to the nearest store and I also tell them not to wait. I can just call another one. I go in and get the things I need. I come out, and sit on the bench outside. I feel someone sit beside of me. I ignore it and avoid eye contact, until they scoot closer.

I snap my head in their direction.

Oh.

It's Bad Boy Marcus.

"You didn't go to school?" He questions.

"Nope. Woke up late with a hangover." I tell him.

"Same." He replies.

"What'd you buy?" I ask him.

"I bought some chips for me and the boys." He says.

"What boys?" I ask.

He gestures to three young boys coming out of the store. They look about 13 or 14.

"Sup guys. Y'all get what drinks y'all wanted?" Marcus asks them.

"Yeah." One of them responds.

He had nice dark skin and brown eyes. He had a nice haircut. The other one was mixed, or maybe just light skin, and he had an Afro. The last one was an Asian boy with smooth reddish brown hair.

"Guys, this is Brianna." Marcus introduces.

"Brianna, this is Titus. The light skin one is Collin, and the other one is Kayvan." He says.

"Hey guys." I say.

"They are each 13. They are in 7th grade, but they're pretty cool so I hang out with them while their parents are busy, or when I just feel like chilling. They're out of school because they all got suspended. I'm surprised Kayvan got suspended, he's a good kid. But Collin back talked a teacher, and Collin and Titus were both in on a prank to the principal. Poor Kayvan was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and it made him seem guilty." Marcus explains.

"Oh." I reply.

I look at them. They are staring at me. It makes me uncomfortable.

"What'd you buy?" Marcus asks me.

"Sleepover stuff." I say.

"For myself." I add.

He laughs.

"You're having a sleepover by yourself?" He asks.

"Yup." I say, popping the P.

"No you're not." He says, sternly.

"Yes I am." I say, confused by his sudden demand.

"We will come with you. If your dads not home." Marcus says.

"I mean, he's not home, but he could come back." I say, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"We'll jump off your balcony." Marcus says.

"Yeah, no. I don't want to plan any funerals." I say.

Unless its my own, I think to myself.

"Cmon, just call him and see where he is and when he'll be back."

I want to tell Marcus that there's no way I could do that without getting cussed out, but I decide to just do it.

The phone rings.

"What?" My dad snaps.

I'm glad it's not on speaker.

"When are you gonna be home?"

"Why? You gonna try to kill yourself while I'm gone?" He snaps.

"No." I say through gritted teeth.

"I just wanted to know."

"Well I'm scheduling a dentist appointment for you because that Cassie lady said you didn't have any in the ward. So I will be back tomorrow afternoon because I'm hanging out at the bar with some friends, and then we are staying at a hotel or something, I don't know."

"Okay." I say, and then I hang up.

That went better than I thought. He said a "hotel or something". He drinks all the time. He's a drunk. But honestly, he's not much different sober or drunk. He's still an asshole.

Or something..? Maybe he's gonna stay with some prostitute or something. That sounds like something he would do. No, I know he would do that.

FLASHBACK:

I left the sleepover last night. I'm only 13, and the popular girls invited me to their slumber party. They just picked on me the whole time. I ran home crying, and here I am, the next morning. My dad thinks I'm still at the party. I look out my window. His car is here.

I scramble around to clean my room. He would sometimes check to make sure my room was clean. I throw everything under my bed, and then listen. I hear him enter the door.

"Mhm. My rooms upstairs. Don't go in the room in front of it. That's my daughters." My dad says.

"She's not here, is she?" The stranger asks.

"Nah. She's at a sleepover. Just go upstairs and undress, I'll be up in a minute." He says.

I lean against my door and listen.

Undress?

What the actual heck?

I hear him run upstairs. He enters the room and doesn't bother to shut the door. I hear them kiss. That's disgusting. I crack my door open to see who's face he is licking. It's some girl with some black lingerie. She has silky black hair down to her butt, and tan skin. I'm lucky my dad has clothes on at least. If he didn't, I would die of grossness. Yuck. He was making out with a stranger. I hope he gets a disease.

BACK TO THE PRESENT:

I snap out of my memories. I remember that day, I snuck out of the house using my balcony, and ran to the nearest park after things got too serious. I stayed there for a while. When I came back, the stranger was gone. My dad assumed I was coming back from the party, and ignored me. That was the first of many times he would bring a stranger home.

"What'd your dad say?" Marcus asks.

"He will be back tomorrow." I say.

"Sleepover time, boys!" Marcus yells.

The boys cheer. Marcus is good with kids. He decides we will walk to my house.

I nudge his arm with my elbow.

"Someone's got a mushy side." I whisper.

He glares at me, sarcastically.

"Is that your girlfriend?" Collin asks.

"Nah, she's my bestie." Marcus responds.

I laugh at his choice of words.

"Your bestie?" I ask.

"Yeah. I got homeboys, I got distractions, and I got a Brianna Rose. I think I can give you the title bestie." He says.

I nod.

We arrive at my house, and I unlock the door so we can all go in.

"You guys can't come upstairs yet. I have to clean my room." I say.

Marcus groans dramatically and begins to talk to the boys. I run upstairs and clean the clothes out of my floor. I make my bed. While I'm making my bed, I kick something hard, and it slides away."

"Shit!" I shout.

That hurt.

"Language!" I hear Marcus yell.

"They probably say worse!" I yell back.

I didn't curse a lot when I was 13, but everyone around me did. I usually only cursed when I got hurt. It was like a reflex.

I continue to make my bed. After I think my room is clean. I go back downstairs.

I grab the snacks and go up the stairs.

"Y'all can come up here now." I shout.

They run up the stairs.

I close my dads door. They run into my room. Collin sits on my black beanbag chair. Marcus lays on my bed, Kayvan sits on the floor, and Titus sits on the edge of the bed. I pull out the chair from the desk in my room.

"You can sit here, Kayvan." I say.

He smiles and gets up to come sit in the chair.

"You don't talk much?" I ask him.

He shakes his head no.

"I didn't either. I only talk to Marcus." I say quietly to him.

"What about Marcus?" Marcus asks, loudly.

"We were talking about how big your ass is." I say, sarcastically.

Kayvan and the other boys laugh.

He pretends to look back at it.

"Damn. I'm thick." He jokes.

"Language." I copy him from earlier.

He sticks his tongue out at me.

"That's childish." Collin mumbles.

"He's childish." I say, with a smirk.

"Brianna is mean." Marcus tells them.

"How am I mean?" I ask.

He tells them how I hated him when we first met. I force Marcus to scoot over and I sit on the bed. We watch YouTube and movies and eat snacks. Marcus gets up to go downstairs and get cups.

"What the hell?" He says, in shock.

"What is it?" Titus asks.

"I stepped on something." He says.

He reaches down to pick up the item.

"Why the hell is this on your floor?" Marcus asks me, holding an object in his hand.

I can't see what it is.

"What?" I say.

He turns around, holding up my box cutter.

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