It was the day we were graduating from college. Me, Kayla, Noah and Marcus all took four years. We were 22 years old.

I hadn't self harmed in three years. I self harmed for the last time when I was 19. It was one cut and Marcus walked in on me. He was angry. He was mostly sad, but also angry. We had a talk and it was the hard truth but was desperately needed. It really helped me. We decided that I couldn't get better on my own, and Marcus called Cassie. She would come for therapy with me once a week. Now I feel better. I'm happier.

As I stood on the stage, accepting my degree in business and marketing, I look at the crowd in front of me. I saw Cassie, the blue eyed girl from High School who ended up staying in college for 8 years to be something bigger and better. I also saw my dad. Smiling. I hadn't seen him smile in a while. Especially not at me. Marcus had called him. I didn't think it would make me feel good to see him, but it did. It made me know I wasn't a complete disappointment. We wouldn't speak that day. I was fine with that. It's for the best. We wouldn't ever speak again. That was also for the best. We finished on a good leaf.

I may not have died, but I meant and still mean everything I put about grudges in my note.

I won't hold any grudges.

I refuse to live with grudges.

I used to think that meant I would have to die.

But it really just meant I'd have to learn to live without them.

Me and Marcus were still dating. He became my first love. While I may not have been his, he said I made him feel pure.

I don't need everything to be perfect.

I just need everything to be okay.

I need to be okay.

We need to be okay.

———————————

AT THE AGE OF 23

Just a year later, me and Marcus were living together in San Francisco. We had rented the house right before graduation last year. We both worked successful careers. I opened a business that benefited his writing. It was like our own little publishing company. It brought in money once we started working with other writers to get their novels out there.

We were at dinner, and he was getting out of his seat.

"Stand up."

"Why is something wrong?"

"Just stand up."

I stand, awkwardly.

"Brianna Rose. You are mine. You are my one and only. You are my favorite person on this planet. I could go on to say a million more cringed things but I don't need them. Actions speak louder than words so let me get to the point."

He gets down on one knee.

"Will you marry me?"

He pulls out a small black box and opens it with a technique that just be taken a while to master.

"Is that even a question?" I ask, my eyes watering up.

He smirks and raises an eyebrow.

"I have to hear you say it." He teases.

"Yes Marcus. Yes, of course I will marry you!"

And so we got hitched. I was shocked. I never thought I would get married. Even after being with Marcus for so long, I never though we'd get married. He didn't seem like the marriage type.

He also didn't seem like the kids type, but one year later, I became pregnant with a baby boy.

It was technically an accidental pregnancy, but we weren't trying to prevent it anymore.

Months passed of weird cravings, crazy emotions and a sleepy Marcus, before the night finally came where my water broke the second I cut off the lamp in our room.

We had rushed out of bed and to the hospital. We were not scared. We were excited.

Nicolas Alejandro Rose born October 17th. Yup, that's right. Marcus took my last name.

He was a Libra.

He was so adorable and I loved him at first sight.

He looked just like Marcus, but Marcus said he looked just like me.

Of course Nic's hair wasn't as curly as Marcus' since he had my boring hair genetics in his blood as well.

He would be amazing. His personality would be just like Marcus when he got older.

————————

13 YEARS LATER

Have you ever got that feeling that you're getting old?

When you're almost 40 years old, it's hard to feel like you're still young.

I was 37, So was Marcus.

Nicolas was 13.

We were all up, getting ready to drive him to a school dance.

"Who are you going with?" I ask.

"A person." He responds, shrugging.

"Oh really! Here I was thinking it was gonna be a dog!"

"When are we going to get a dog?" He asks.

"Don't change the subject. Who are you taking?"

"It's a girl named Lily."

"What does she look like?"

"I don't know."

"Boy stop giving us these shit answers, we know you had to look at her face before." Marcus Says.

"You can see her when we get there."

Nic's girlfriend had tan skin. It was about the same as Marcus' mom, meaning a little darker than Marcus.

She had wavy hair down to her waist, and a smile that lights up the room. Her skin was flawless, along with every other feature of her body. She had mysterious dark brown eyes.

She greeted us merrily and left off with Nic.

"He doesn't seem as ecstatic about being with her as he should be." I say.

"Don't worry, he's 13. He will probably have plenty more girlfriends after this."

I shake my head and laugh.

"Boys are weird." I say.

"Should've been a lesbian then, babe." He jokes.

While I may feel like we are getting super old, we would always have the same passionate love for each other that we've always had.

I could tell that no matter how old we get, I'll always be His Little Psycho.

word count before I touched it: 1014

ahhh I'm so sad

I didn't want it to be over

HLP is my baby :(

my baby's all grown up :Q

It's hard to let goooo 😭

Also let's not forget the fact that I won't publish another story for a while (fr this time)

I'm starting on the first draft at the end of February and then I will make edits or whatever I need before releasing it, but I will give you a look at the cover.

It's called Inhale, Exhale and I'm so excited for it. The genre is Science fiction/dystopian :)

I usually hate reading science fiction but turns out it's not that bad! I actually enjoy it. Especially dystopian. Most of my friends who write on Wattpad do dystopian.

I feel like the cover is enough sneak peeking for now, so I won't tell you what it's about.

You'll just have to wait until it comes out to read the summary.

ask me any questions you'd like!! Also follow me on Instagram @ honesty.stories

This story was definitely a journey. Firstly, thank you so much for 5,000 reads. I never expected this story to get that many reads. Secondly, even though the story is over, you can still reach out to me on Instagram if you're feeling down. Just mention that you're from Wattpad. I'm so sorry but I don't do video calls! I know it's easier to talk to someone on the phone than to text, but for privacy, I don't do video chats with people I don't know.

I trust you guys, but better safe than sorry. I still have to take safety precautions when texting you guys as well. You guys should as well!

Even though I'm not going to kidnap you because that's a lot of work, you shouldn't give your information to anyone you don't know or trust, including me. You never know who could get ahold of that information and even unsent messages are never permanently gone.

I won't be active on Wattpad while I'm gone unless I'm announcing something like hitting a certain amount of reads so I recommend you follow me on Instagram to see my writing journey and how stuff is going.

i love you guys and I almost feel like i will lose you guys if I end the story 😭

plz don't be afraid to follow me on here or Instagram! I follow everyone back! I don't want to disconnect with you guys!

Anyways, I've added over 300 words of authors note so I'm gonna go.

Bye ❤️

UPDATE: TYSM FOR 151k READS U GUYS R AMAZING