From my warm bed, I yawn and stretch. Not bad for a Wednesday. When Ash asked me to take the day off for my birthday, I resisted. Turning thirty-three isn't exactly a huge milestone that needs to be celebrated, but Ash was insistent, and he's very hard to withstand.

From downstairs, I can hear him getting breakfast for the kids. It's a familiar sound from the weekend or holidays, but it's strange to hear it mid-week. Strange, but nice.

Since I was a good girl and booked a vacation day like he asked, Ash rewarded me with an orgasm that crested as the clock struck midnight. The man has hidden talents. He was quite proud of himself, and I laughed as he marveled at his ability to time it perfectly. Then he stayed with me until an hour before either of the kids normally wakes up, sneaking out as quietly as he could to leave me to sleep in.

It's mid-November, and despite my initial reservations about letting Flora and Toby gain a foothold into Chloe and Ash's life, their involvement has been okay. It helps that they only see her for a few hours on Sundays under the watchful eye of Ash or Tejinder, or Tejinder's entire family. Although Ash believes they're great people, Tejinder and Diya don't trust them, and I wonder sometimes if that's because they understand the bonds of family in a way that Ash might not.

Flora and Toby already ditched Ash and Chloe to stay close with Imogen, and when I asked Ash what had changed that made them reach out, his only response was that they'd moved closer. To me, that leaves out the biggest piece of the equation.

The deeper Ash and I sink into our routines together, the more certain I become that departing at the end of my year is going to hurt. Leaving England on good terms with him will be painful, but having Imogen return and him going back to her would wreck me. I've never been so happy with another man, and dread stirs in my stomach at the thought that it took me almost thirty-three years to find him, only to be certain I can't keep him.

Neither of us has released the L word, and I'm not even sure what I'd do if it happened. While I know I feel it—so deeply it's scary—I'd never want him to say something he didn't feel. Or maybe I'm just afraid he'll be honest like always, and he won't return my feelings. There's still a chance that I'm nothing more than a convenient rebound, even if that's not how he makes me feel.

"Knock, knock," Ash says as the door clicks open, and he walks through with a tray of food. "One, two, three."

Then he and Joey break out into an off-key version of Happy Birthday with Chloe trying to jabber along. I sit up in bed as they come toward me, and my grin is so wide, it's almost uncomfortable. Joey hops up onto the bed beside me, and when Chloe tries to clamber up as well, she can't do it without help. Ash passes me the breakfast, and then he boosts Chloe so she can roll along the covers and then scramble to Joey's side.

"Happy Birthday," Joey says.

"Happy Birthday to you too, my love." I kiss his temple. "Have you had a good day so far?"

"I'm three!"

"I know. You're getting so big." I can't keep the hint of mourning from my tone.

"Ash made pancakes. Cars and footballs." Joey looks around me at his idol. "I have lots of syrup."

"Did you?" I adjust the tray on my lap.

Ash settles on the end of the bed, and Chloe leaves Joey's side to climb into her father's lap.

On my plate is a full English breakfast. We have it sometimes on weekends, or if Ash has had a busy day with the kids and needs a quick dinner option.

"Thank you," I say to him, and when our gazes meet, warmth bursts out of my chest, migrating to every inch of me.

"I'm not done with you yet," he says with a wink. "Once you're finished, you'll need to get ready. I've got plans."

"We're going on a train," Joey says.

"Shh," Ash says, putting his finger to his lips. "Mate, I told you that was a surprise."

"Surprise!" Joey cries and he bounces on the bed. "We're going on a train!"

Chloe crawls off Ash's lap to bounce with him.

"Right," Ash says. "I reckon I should take the hooligans out of here or your breakfast will be all over the bed instead of in your belly." He gathers each one under an arm, and they're all laughing as they exit the room. Outside the door, Ash sets them down, and as he draws the door closed, he says, "Happy Birthday, Paige. I hope I manage to make you feel as special on yours as you made me feel for mine."

~ * ~

On the train, Ash takes a list and a map out of his pocket. There's a highlighted route and circles in blue pen.

"Shall I tell you what we're doing?" he asks as Joey and Chloe play in the seats opposite us.

"Am I allowed to know now?" My smile is wide as I try to peer over his shoulder.

"I've planned a route around London to places you've mentioned you'd like to see. Can't believe we haven't made it into London since you've been here. You've bought anything you wanted, so an experience is the best I can do."

I squeeze his leg, and I briefly rest my head against his broad shoulder. If I had a choice between doing something or being given something, I'd pick the doing. Even for his birthday, I gave him two experiences—the surprise party and the football tickets. I've always been a bigger fan of making memories.

We've played tourist around places within driving distance, based on kids' napping and feeding schedules. But with two small children, I figured London would be something I'd have to tackle just before I left. A last hurrah, so to speak.

"Show me what you've got," I say.

He passes me the highlighted map, and as I scan the places he's circled and the notes he's made, a flood of overwhelming love washes over me. On his map are the typical things like Westminster Abbey and St. Paul's Cathedral and Big Ben, but also other architectural things I've mentioned in passing like the Gherkin or the Lloyd's Building.

"Ash," I say, and even I can hear the watery quality to my voice.

"No idea if we'll get to it all," he says, and he rubs his hand along my thigh. "Give it a go. See how the sprogs make out."

On the map, he's even written out transportation options and routes. "You did this yourself?" I whisper. The organization is surprising. Ash is more of a go-with-the-flow than a plan things down to the minute. I'm a minute planner, and between the two of us, I usually plan, and he implements. For him to have done both pieces makes me feel as though he doesn't just understand my need for organization, but accepts it as part of how we function.

His mouth tilts up into a half smile. "You don't reckon I could?"

"No, it's not—"

"Diya helped me," he admits with a grin. "Trains and tubes and walking routes all got a bit much." He points to the multiple routes to get to the British Library. "I told Diya we needed them, and she helped me work them out."

When our gazes connect, the air around us thickens, and it's hard to hold back the words that hum between us. Saying them out loud terrifies me. Verbalizing them will change too much, make it so much harder to leave England, Chloe, and Ash. There is no doubt in my mind that he is the reason heartbreak exists.

"I love it." My voice is thick with emotion. Before he can respond or I can get anything else past the tightness in my throat, Joey leaves his seat to clamber into my lap, and then Chloe follows suit, trying to gain purchase beside Joey.

Ash chuckles and scoops her up, but she tries to get back to me, and soon we've swapped children. He shoots me an amused glance, and I'm not sure what he sees on my face, but he slides his hand along my cheek and tucks some stray strands behind my ear.

"Today is going to be amazing. I can feel it," he says.

~ * ~

After a long day, we pile off the train, and the lights from the platform illuminate the concrete as we make our way toward the stairs. Both kids are sleeping in the double stroller, and my feet are sore. Without having to discuss it, Ash takes the front of the stroller, and I take the handles and we manage to get to the upper level without waking them.

At the car, we slide them into their car seats and then slump into our spots in the front. Exhaustion coats every movement, and I'm feeling every single one of my thirty-three years. Between the walking, the overtired children, the frequent snack and pee breaks, and the hint of snow in the air, it probably wasn't the glorious day Ash had been envisioning when he planned it. The effort means a lot to me, even if the execution wasn't what either of us would call a success.

Ash breathes out a deep sigh as we exit the carpark. "Before you leave," he says, "we'll do it again. Just you and me."

There's something satisfying and also deeply sad in that promise. "Yeah," I mange to eek out.

"Diya said I should have booked a West End show," he says. "Should've done that, maybe. Left the kids with Diya like she suggested."

I squeeze his leg and run my hand down to rest on his knee for a brief moment. "We saw everything."

"We walked past everything," Ash says. "It was so bloody cold, and the kids were having none of it."

For some reason, the annoyance in his tone makes me laugh. All day, he was the only one of us who didn't lose their mind over something, and to see the outlines of his frustration is actually a relief.

"Do you want to go stand in the farmer's field and yell at the stars?" I ask.

"I do, yeah," he says, and he sounds surprised at both the suggestion and his agreement. "A good little yodel might suffice."

The mental picture of him standing in the field across from the house yodeling at the stars sets me off, and I start giggling. The more I think about it, the harder I laugh. Ash's hand works its way into my hair, and then his fingers flex on the back of my neck.

"Even shit days are better days with you," he says.

"Not sure you would have said that a few hours ago." We were all miserable and cold before we ducked into a café for a hot drink and a cookie.

"I would've." His thumb traces small patterns against my neck before he takes his hand back to shift the car to turn into the long driveway. "I'll get both the kids to bed, if you want to have a rest on the settee."

"Oh, you don't have—"

"Paige, it's your birthday. I want to. It wasn't the day I was hoping for, so let me do this. On Saturday after the soft play and cake at Joey's party, you can put them to bed. Both of them." Amusement brims in his voice because that'll be a much harder job than the one he has right now. Hyped up on sugar and overtired.

"I will accept your terrible bargain."

"Brilliant." He puts the car in park. "Go on in. I'll get them to bed."

After the day we've had, I'm not going to argue. When I climb out, I hear Ash gathering Chloe into his arms and waking Joey to do the same. I open the door, and the front entrance has two large gold number three balloons weighed down, a bottle of champagne on melted ice, and there is, somehow, soft music playing.

When I turn to say something to Ash, he skims his lips across my temple on the way past. "Don't start without me."

Part of me is too exhausted to even consider drinking champagne, but I'm wondering whether he wrangled Diya and Tejinder into this because the house didn't have any of this when we left. Given that the rest of the day was a bit of a bust, I can't justify begging off a birthday toast and some alone time.

I take the champagne into the living room, and I sink into the couch. Ash is back a lot faster than I expected, but I suppose with the kids already half asleep, his job was easy tonight. He takes my hand in one of his and leads me past the champagne which he scoops up with his other.

He sits me at the kitchen table while he uncorks the champagne and pours two glasses. There's a pink cake shaped box on the kitchen table, and I'm dying to look.

He sets the champagne in front of me and then says, "Close your eyes."

I do as I'm told, and I hear the swoosh of a box opening, and then the hiss of a match. Warmth wafts up to my face.

"Please tell me you didn't put thirty-three candles on the cake."

He chuckles. "Sounds like a fire hazard. Already had enough of those in this kitchen. You may open your eyes."

When I do, I'm greeted by the prettiest white cake, similar to the one I got Chloe for her birthday, and there are two number threes burning on top. It's been so long since I've had anyone make a fuss over me that I'm stunned for a beat. From the minute I woke up this morning, Ash has been dedicated to making today special.

"Happy Birthday, Paige," he murmurs. "Make a wish."

I take a breath, and I blow out the candles. Before he can walk away to get plates and a knife, I latch onto his arm.

"Thank you," I say.

"'Course." A hint of a smile tips his lips. "You superstitious? What'd you wish for?"

"I decided to save my wishing for next year." I rise from my chair, and I loop my arms around his neck. "Because this year, I've got everything I want."

"I reckon I cashed in twenty-six years of luck when I got this job." He gazes at me with a wealth of tenderness. "Worth every pence." He kisses a line from my forehead and along my temple, and when he reaches my lips, any hint of exhaustion has melted away. The champagne grows warm, and the cake goes uneaten as we shed our clothes and feast on each other.

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