Alec's P•O•V

I lost all control completely. Smashing my lips against Raven's was one of those moments that I knew I'd never forget. Her lips were so soft against mine. So warm. All I wanted to do was feel her perfectly plump and ample lips. It was the most intense thing I'd ever felt. My head was clouded in the overwhelming ecstasy of it all. It just felt so natural. I held her neck and kept her close to me, not wanting to let go.

I let out a soft growl and latched my hands onto Raven's hips, my fingers gripping tightly at the hot skin. It took everything in me to prevent myself from hurting her as I pushed her against one of the stall doors. Her hands laced into my hair, my skin prickling with the sensation of her touch. I could feel her mold to my tall figure. She moaned against my lips in a soft whimper.

In that second I froze.

The heat I felt between us went ice cold as I felt the regret wash over me. I parted from her lips and detached my hands from her waist. She was trying to catch her breath but starting to gain composer after seeing the look on my face. I looked her up and down with wide eyes, not believing what had just happened.

"Alec?" Raven said in her angelic voice. "Alec, what's wrong?" She furrowed her brows as I started stepping away from her. Her confused expression turned to one of hurt surprise. Her swollen lips turned into a frown as she ran her hands through her hair, looking away from me. Her heartbeat was rapidly increasing, no more relaxed and calm.

"This will never happen again," I said in a threatening voice. I looked over her once again before leaving in the blink of an eye. No looking back, I told myself as I stormed into the woods. The horses stirred as I sped past them as a gust of wind, dry leaves fluttering around me.

I could only feel regret. Regret and guilt. The wind breezed past me as I weaved through the trees. Everything was blowing by so fast as I ran further and further away, yet the waves of remorse and shame hit like slow stabs to the chest. I had been so angry and so sucked into the moment that I thought that once I was away from the castle - away from her - it would feel better.

Yet, I didn't.

I stopped running and found myself slumped against a tree, my forehead pressing against the ancient bark. I was panting, not because I was tired, but because I didn't feel any better than I had the second I realized what had happened.

I could feel my canines brushing against my lower lip. I couldn't have controlled myself if I stayed. The thought of her fragile figure in my grasp only made my thoughts stir with flashes of what a nightmare would look like. Broken bones, bruises, and blood. All of which wasn't mine.

I opened my eyes, tearing myself out of those thoughts. Instinctively she was mine. Mine. But I never wanted it to be like this. I never wanted to force her into this.

Growing up I saw how every married vampire loved their spouse. But this only made me think of how each and every woman or man that had been turned, never had true feelings until they, too, were dead.

They never loved their spouse until they were forced by the instincts of their vampirism. The realization hit hard. It just didn't feel right. Trying to wrap my head around someday having to do that to Raven... It was an impossible thought. This whole thing had been a lie. All my hopes of having a bride of my own, a Soulmate of my own, were lies. I couldn't love Raven. Not with how I could see everything clearer now.

I was dead. Dead men don't love. Dead men don't feel. And all my feelings for her were lies as well - instincts. I didn't feel anything for her and I never would. This whole time I thought that finding my Soulmate was about finding someone I'd love one day. When all it really was was an instinct that every vampire had to fulfill so we would never live alone for eternity. And for me, it was just some damn duty as future King.

An instinct...

I screamed out in rage, slicing my bottom lip as my fangs sliced past it in a blood-filled fury. Slamming my fist into the tree, it splintered and creaked. A huge dent carved in where my forceful blow scarred it. The ancient tree screamed as it fell, taking branches of other trees down with it. I could my lip lacing back together as it healed.

My mouth tasted bitter as my blood remained from the now-closed wound. The taste of my own blood in my mouth still there, tasting like salt and acid. I brushed my shaking fingertips up to my lip and wiped a little bit of the black blood away. It nearly looked purple as the black laced through the lines of my fingertips. I held my quivering hand out in front of me and stared at it. I clenched my hand into a fist and looked ahead at the fallen pine.

Raven was blinded and I could see that. Her thoughts hazed and confused. I was not what she had wanted nor would I ever be what she thought she needed. The look she gave me only mirrored my fear. The fear of her actions reflecting mine. She knew her mistake and I knew mine. Something told me that we both knew that that would never happen again.

There had never been a time in my kinds' history where a chosen Soulmate was given the time to comprehend mortal feelings for their vampire captor. Mainly because they were never given time to remain mortal. Something told me that Raven's mortality was the only thing that was keeping me from my obligations. The obligations I was trying to avoid...

♱

Raven's P•O•V

I felt so wrong - so disgusted. I was frozen, feet locked into the ground where I stood. The thoughts of self-judgment flooded my brain, drowning myself with a dizzying headache.

What had I done?

What had I done?

It was eerily silent in the stables now. The horses seemed to have all quieted when it happened. I felt criticized and didn't want all of their black, peering eyes looking at me. I turned around and gasped. Some Romanian workers were already back from their lunch break and were tending to the stalls.

I left the stables, ready to go back into the castle. I found myself back to the door I had come out of and went back inside. I walked quickly as if I were on a mission. But the only mission I was on was to walk further away from my mistake, hoping that it'd fade a little bit if I left the scene of the crime. Not knowing where I was going, I let my conscience take me wherever. Anywhere but back to the stables.

I turned into what felt like the hundredth hallway and ran into someone. It hurt on impact, feeling like I walked into a brick wall. I gasped in shock and stumbled back.

"I'm so sorry," I apologized quickly. I looked up at who I had run into and noticed it was DeMalo, the same smirk on his face. Something about the way he always looked at me had me feeling a bit off. I shrugged it off though.

"Lost?" He raised his eyebrows at me skeptically, a little smirk played on his face.

"No. Just wanted to walk around that's all," I told him, not particularly lying. He gave me a disbelieving look but shrugged it off.

"Seems like you've been outside. Where'd you go?" He asked.

"The stables," I told him simply.

"Trying to find my brother I see," He chuckled under his breath, almost like he already knew. I glared.

"No," I protested flatly. "Why would you say that?"

"What other reason would you want to go to the stables?" He countered, already knowing he caught me.

"I'll have you know that your brother is not the reason I went to the stables," I told him, not letting it get to his head.

"Mhm. Sure," DeMalo hummed and raised his right eyebrow mockingly. He brushed past me and turned down the hallway I had just come from, leaving.

For the first time since I'd woken up in this castle, I'd finally found something that reminded me of home...

The feeling of being lost and left alone.

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