Ice Nine Kills - The Product of Hate

I woke up early, a deep ache behind my eyes, not like the headaches I had suffered in previous weeks, but an echoing soreness. Then I remembered the night before, James, and our short conversation, his Shift, his words. The memory that had pulled me back, made me live through a night I wished had never happened. I must have fallen asleep, or passed out by the end of it and I cursed under my breath at James for whatever he had done. My mind still felt thick and I silently cursed that too as I showered and got ready for the day.

I audibly groaned when I remembered who my first session was with; Grayson. I hated Grayson, loathed every second I had to spend in his presence, and I hated it even more because his blatant disregard for my Pair's maltreatment by his father always made me want to defend him, to take his side, something I usually refused to do. I hated Grayson as much for how he was as for how he made me be. He made me understand my Pair, care about him, think of his past and cringe, feel sorry for the torture he had grown up with. I didn't want to be able to empathize with my partner, but Grayson was heartless, the cruelest I had ever met. Often when I would daydream it would be of his death, unless Levi was around. He frowned upon my indulgent fantasies.

I had already decided that was Grayson's true purpose, the reason Abby had set him as my tutor. The old wizard may always stick to his original excuse, that Grayson was simply the best there was at what he did, but I knew Abby always had secondary and tertiary motives for everything. And Grayson's was clearly to make me think of my Pair's past, to understand how he was, to explain why he was. Abby knew I didn't listen to him, so he made me think of things on my own, come to my own conclusions. He was too nosy for his own good, too manipulative, and yet somehow not in a sinister, controlling way. Damn that old meddling wizard.

I dragged my feet as I made my way across the room. I opened my door to see the only thing that could make my mood plummet even further, James. He stood looking dull and empty across the hall leaning on the wall, clearly waiting for me.

"Abraham wants me to join in your tutoring today. He wants to meet with us both tonight after Parish and Prey as well."

His voice sounded lifeless and it made my chest tighten, but I ignored the feeling along with my anger at what he had done the night before. I didn't want him to know how awful the memory had been for me, how deeply I had fallen into it once he left, how long it has persisted. Instead I merely nodded, walking down the hall towards Ailech and Ember who were just turning the corner.

My mind must have still been thick, as I was knocking on Grayson's door before I comprehended the disaster that was about to ensue. I thought of grabbing James' arm and rushing down the hall, or somehow trying to block his view of who was about to open the thick paneled door in front of us, but as I heard the handle turn I knew I was too late. A moment later the door swung open and Grayson stood before his newest pupil...and a very old one. I don't know how it hadn't come to me, that Grayson and James meeting would most likely end in my tutor's death, but I had been so caught up in my own mind that the thought hadn't even crossed until it was too late.

Now our little group stood in silence, James by my side staring at Grayson like he was a nightmare come to life, and Grayson looking back with unimpressed eyes, taking in James' skinny frame as if he had expected better of his old student. I could feel my heart pounding. I could hear it rushing in my ears, and I silently wondered if I would try to stop James when he killed Grayson. I didn't think so.

"Can I help you, Mr. Darke? I believe my lesson is with one insufferable apprentice today, not two."

Grayson's voice didn't sound as I'd expected. I had expected a waiver of fear, of apprehension, of surprise, but instead Grayson looked just as critical and prickly as usual, a sharp aire of boredom surrounding him.

"Can you help me? I think you can. You can go to Hell."

James' words were ground out from behind clenched teeth and I didn't need to look at him to know he had Shifted. Again, the thought that maybe I should try to stop him flitted across my mind, but I had no desire to save Grayson from what he had coming. He had tortured James as a child, when he hadn't learned something fast enough, or hadn't given his teacher the respect he felt he deserved. He had mentioned his 'motivation' of James many times in my lessons. I wouldn't protect Grayson, even if Abby had asked me to, which he hadn't.

James took an aggressive step forward, his teeth bared as white and blue flickers ran up his arms, jumping between his fingers. I heard Ember squeak from behind me, a mouse-like noise of shock and fear, but Ailech stayed just as frozen as myself, apparently also not willing to protect the vile, old man. Or maybe not wanting to get between a Half and its prey. I almost reached out my hand, almost grabbed James and tried to pull him back, not for Grayson's sake, but because something in my mind was telling me I should, that I would regret letting the scene before me play out. I shooed the worry away. I worried too much. This wasn't my battle. I had no dog in this fight.

James had hardly crossed the threshold of Grayson's office before he suddenly stopped short, his back tensed, his sharp shoulder blades standing out like the beginning of wings from beneath his shirt. He shook his head once, like he was flinging a thought from his mind before he took another step. Grayson had backed up to his desk, though it somehow didn't seem like a retreat and he now wore a small smile on his sharp face, his eyes drilling into James. Then I knew what he was doing, he was hurting him, using a Gift like Cordelia's on him.

A second later James' hand rose to his head, his other gripping the back of a chair, holding himself up against whatever it was he was feeling. I saw a spasm run up James' spine as his grip on the chair tightened, and then I was across the room. I hadn't even told myself to stop Grayson, in fact I may have consciously decided to do the exact opposite, but it didn't matter. My body was in front of him before I realized I had moved, my hand closed around his wrinkled neck, my fingers constricting, my eyes dark and my daggered teeth digging into my lips.

Grayson's gaze moved from James to me and his smile grew, as if he had been waiting for this moment since our very first meeting. I should have known, should have suspected. I knew he hated me as much as I hated him. Thought I wasn't worth the trouble, wasn't worth his precious time and teachings, but Abby's presence had always diffused our sessions of any violence. But Abby wasn't here now and I knew what was coming. I knew what the glee in his beady eyes meant for me.

It was all I could do to keep my legs from buckling under me when the wave of pain hit, when the ice and fire and razors rushed over me. I heard my breath come out in a short burst, catching in my throat for only a half-second before I was ripped away from Grayson and James was in my place, his arm pulled back to deal a deadly blow to the despicable mage. But before James' fist even cut half the distance to Grayson's face, my Pair was against the far wall, pinned there by some unseen force and I knew Abby had arrived. I turned my blurry eyes to the door, seeing his tall, skinny frame just inside the office, his face a mix of anger and disappointment.

"What is going on here?"

His voice boomed like I had never heard it before, somehow amplified much too much for the walls of the small room. A quick flash of rage swam through my mind that he should have gotten here earlier, that he should have known something awful would happen when James met his old tutor again, but then I realized the entire almost-execution had not even taken fifteen seconds and that Abby wasn't really late at all. I wiped at the tears in my eyes instead of looking into Abby's watery ones, not wanting to have to explain.

"What's going on is I'm about to deal justice where it's due."

James' words cut through the silence, still ground out from behind pointed teeth, though he wasn't struggling at his invisible restraints.

"James, my boy, that is in your past. Grayson is on our side now, he has helped Jordan find her Sight and he has trained her for weeks. We must remember who the real enemy is."

Abby sounded tired as he answered, as if he wished he didn't have to keep explaining the same things to James over and over.

"He didn't seem rehabilitated when he used his ke'evel on Jordan and me just a moment ago, the smile of a serpent on his face. He knew you were just down the hall, just as I did. He knew I wouldn't kill him before you stopped me, but he still used it, just like he used to, not because he had to, but because he likes to."

James' words were like ice and I suddenly realized he had never had any intention of killing Grayson, though I'm sure he wanted to. He had simply been testing him, seeing if he was truly different. If he had changed.

His old teacher had failed the test outright.

I felt a swell of pride at my Pair's plan before I stuffed it down, reminding myself that just because he was clever, didn't mean he was worthy of my approval. I still hated him. My mind wandered to what language ke'evel was, not Spoken I was sure, before I pulled myself back to the present.

Abby turned to Grayson as James took a step away from the wall, apparently released from whatever magic Abby had held him by. His Shift still smoldered in his eyes, his teeth still pointed as he sneered at my tutor, but it was obvious he didn't plan on lunging for him.

"Is that true, did you use your ability on James, on both of them?"

"He was Shifted and coming for me, then the brat attacked me with her hands at my throat. I had no choice but to defend myself."

Grayson sounded impenitent as ever, and I felt my own Shift prickle under my skin once again, though I kept it covered. Abby was here now. I didn't need my Shift.

"You knew I was on my way though, didn't you? You knew I was but a moment away from your door. Or are you going to tell me you couldn't feel me there when James could? Are you admitting your student has surpassed his teacher?"

A long pause followed Abby's words, and my eyes wandered to James despite myself. He was smiling at Grayson now, looking smug and triumphant as ever, like a child who had successfully tricked his nemesis into trouble. I definitely preferred his Shift to his cold, empty mask, but I shook that thought from my head as well. It didn't matter which I preferred. I hated them both.

"I may have acted rashly." Was the only apology Grayson offered.

"Should not you punish Miss Kay for attacking me? She wasn't playing like Mr. Darke was, she was actually going to kill me, and I am sure with her lack of prowess, that she was not aware of your imminent approach as we were."

Grayson's voice sounded his usual again, and I glared at him from where I stood, wishing I had crushed his windpipe when I had had the chance. I knew Ailech could have healed the injury easily, but at least it would have been greatly unpleasant for Grayson for a few seconds.

Abby turned to me and I tried to wipe the look of hatred from my face as I tore my eyes away from my tutor and to the wizard before me, completely expecting him to look disappointed in me. Instead, I was met with a look of placid thoughtfulness before he answered, placing his hand on my shoulder gently.

"No, actually I believe it a positive action that Jordan was willing to protect Mr. Darke despite her feelings toward him and their unresolved past. She acted as she should have. She took his side without question or thought of if it was even necessary. She merely trusted and acted upon that trust as she should with her Pair. She acted out of instinct to protect her ally. Well done, child."

His words were bittersweet for me and I found myself at a loss for how to feel. I didn't want to take James' side. I didn't want to assume he was in the right, but I still had. Without even thinking, I had still protected him and I knew I would do it again. Even if he wasn't right, some small part of me knew I would still protect him, at least against someone like Grayson. My mind didn't make sense when it came to James and I hated that. And him.

Grayson looked positively insulted as he sat behind his desk, rubbing his neck dramatically. I hadn't squeezed that hard. When I glanced to James I saw he was no longer in his Shift, no longer alive and I quickly looked away, wishing I hadn't seen the image I so hated. His voice mirrored his emotionless face a moment later.

"I would prefer to not train with Grayson, lest I do something...rash. I'll go practice with Jordan instead so our time isn't wasted. I can teach her some of what he taught me, albeit without his motivation techniques."

I almost wanted to argue, but then I would have to stay with Grayson, and I would rather spar with someone I hated than be taught by one. I nodded my consent when Abby looked to me before following James from the room.