Jungkook POV

Life was a lot like a roller coaster in so many ways.

We were on top of the world one second, seeing everything from above, and the next second, we were dropped so far down, we hadn't even seen it coming.

I tapped my foot against the cold white floor of the emergency room as I waited for them to call me. I had been sitting here for almost three hours, and not knowing what was happening to him had all these thoughts running through my head. So much so that I hadn't even thought to analyze the whole situation. Surely the explosion was planned. Something that catastrophic didn't just happen on the norm and the fact that it had blown up in front of Taehyung, seemed every suspicious.

So far, all my team which consisted only of those whom I trusted with my life, had managed to get was that it had been a bomb that was planted in the machine. Such a bomb that had to have a control switch, which meant that someone was waiting for him to touch it. Someone had clearly intended to hurt him and not knowing who it was was infuriating me. The fact that all the security tapes had been wiped only resulted in pissing me off further.

I had left them with the instructions of not telling anyone until we had something solid and to keep it between us for now, for we had no idea who was the traitor among our ranks.

I looked up when I heard the doors opening and saw the doctor coming out, looking so defeated, that I felt my heart beating as though it wanted to rip through my rib cage.

"Mr. Jeon." He said as he placed his hand on my shoulder, in a way that a father would his son.

"Is he going to be okay?" I asked in a voice that was so broken, I barely recognized it as my own.

"He will be. In time." He replied and gestured for me to sit down.

"He's got five broken ribs, a swollen kidney and a punctured lung." He said as he leaned forward and rested his elbows against his knees.

"We managed to flush out the blood in the lungs and kidney, as well adjust his ribs so they'd heal just fine, however-" he trailed off as he ran his hand over his face.

"He won't be able to walk again." He said as he looked at me and I widened my eyes.

"It's not just the fact that the concrete slab had crushed his legs, but his spine had been fractured towards his lower back. We tried everything we could, but unfortunately, he'll never walk again." He said as he turned to me with his eyes full of sorrow.

"Can I see him?" I asked to which he nodded and led me to the room Tae was in.

"He's unconscious for now. He's probably in a lot of pain so we're going to have to give him another shot of morphine before he wakes up." The doctor said as he left the room and closed the door.

I walked towards his bed and sat down on the chair in front of him. I took his hand in mine and immediately, I broke.

I couldn't feel the strength in me anymore and frankly I didn't want to. I let everything out as I broke into sobs and held his hand against my mouth. I looked at him, laying there so motionless. His face, covered in bruises and cuts and yet he still looked as beautiful as he always was.

He laid there, so completely still that if it wasn't for the slight movement of his chest, I would have thought he was dead, and that thought alone made the very breath leave me body as it dawned upon me.

He had almost died, because of me.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I never meant for this happen. Tae I'm sorry." I kept on repeating as I cried and held his hand like it was my lifeline.

I sat there, for I don't know how long, crying and holding his hand when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I refused to look at who it was , so afraid that if I looked away, I'd lose him, and I couldn't bear for that to happen. Not now and not ever.

It might be selfish of me, but Tae was my entire world. My very life had come to revolve around him and loosing him would mean losing my very will and purpose to live. He had become my light in such a dark world. He was the only person who saw good me and made me want to live up to that goodness he saw. He made me feel the warmth of life and see colours in a world where I was saw nothing but blackness. He was my hope and everything I lived for.

I closed my eyes and let the tears fall down as I felt that hand squeeze my shoulder as if trying to tell me it was alright. I clenched my eyes at how familiar that hand felt. It was as though I had felt it before and just couldn't remember where or when.

I slowly turned my eyes and gasped out loud, widening my eyes as I moved back, falling off the chair in the process. I walked back, terror and fear all overtaking me at once as I tried to get away from him, walking back until I touched the wall, looking at him with wide eyes, and even then, all he did was look at me and smile. Not even remotely bothered by my actions.

I looked back at him, questions circulating in my head, none of which I had the answers to. And yet, all he did was smile at me as if he knew exactly what the fuck was going in my head. I didn't know if I should scream or if I should just stare back at him. None of it made any sense and yet here he was, calm and collected, standing in front of me.

I was really losing my fucking mind!