Part Sixty

We were given an hour to prepare ourselves for the battle, so everyone scattered in different directions to make their preparations on their own. Alicia was still miffed about before, and avoiding her hadn’t helped, so she’d left almost as soon as possible. Cameron had also gone off on his own, leaving me to fend for myself. I’d have to sit them down and explain myself once Alicia could talk again. I was not looking forward to it. Guess you reap what you sow.

Without any actual preparations to make, I was stuck with nothing to do. I could’ve practiced one of my Skills, but I wanted to conserve my mana for the battle as much as possible. Going into this fight in suboptimal condition could be a death sentence. My gear was in perfect order, so all that remained was waiting. Which I of course suck at doing. I ended up deciding to just go wait at the teleportation array, figuring I’d have a little time to myself, but someone was there ahead of me.

“…”

“…”

In all honesty, I’d never actually interacted with Jansen all that much. Aside from the assignments that is. And even that was kept to mere pleasantries, with no actual substance to our conversations. So I was admittedly wary of approaching him, given my role in his girlfriend’s death. My mistake had taken the life of someone important to him, so it wouldn’t surprise me if he hated me.

And yet he never said a word. He didn’t even look at me. I’m not sure if that’s due to him not even being able to look at me, or if he just didn’t have an opinion on me. I’d been prepared for vitriol, but what I got was silence. It was confusing, to say the least.

Maybe this is for the best. I’m not sure what I could actually say if he did blame me. I’ll just give him some space. I, I don’t know how to react to this. I’m gonna go somewhere else.

***

Michael’s footsteps soon faded away completely. He hadn’t looked at him, even when the man was staring a hole in his head. There was no point in them talking, no point in anything. All the rage, all the indignation and grief, it had all just faded away, consumed by a flame that burned within him. The events of the last twelve hours had scarred him so deep, that he was forever changed. The flame urged him to destroy, to feed it so that it may continue to grow.

***

With a new accessory equipped, it was undoubtable that her skill with magic was better than before. Even checking her Status proved that, so why was she still afraid? For whatever reason, she had been immune to the effects of Finnél’s monstrous roars. Even as those far braver than her quivered in fear, she was able to stand against the beast.

I, I don’t get it. Why was I able to resist the effects? I didn’t even feel any twinges of fear from it. It’s unnatural. Michael aside, everyone else was immobilized by its magic. [Grace] isn’t strong enough to offset the effects of such strong magic, but something clearly did. I just can’t figure it out.

Stuck in her own thoughts as she was, she missed the figure approaching her, one who was also equally distracted. The two collided, foreheads smacking against each other. The sudden and unexpected pain caused her eyes to tear up.

Strangely, even though the both of them had fallen while clutching their heads, she heard no sounds of pain from the other person. They merely sat there, griping their head and writhing in pain. Curious, she wiped away the tears in her eyes so she could see who she run into.

“Eh? Alicia? What, what are you doing here?”

It was unusual to see her alone like this. She was usually with either Michael or Cameron, but neither was anywhere she could see. They were most likely preparing themselves separately, so as to more efficiently finish. Or at least, that’s what she told herself.

“…”

Very out of character for her, Alicia never responded to her question. While she occasionally snapped at Michael, she wasn’t one to blatantly ignore someone. And for some reason, the way Alicia was looking at her scared her. It was like the younger woman was looking into her very soul.

“Um, so Alicia? What’s up with you? It’s pretty weird to see you without Michael.”

This time, Alicia took out a notepad and a pencil from one of her magic bags, and scribbled a note down. *I can’t talk right now.*

“Erm, wouldn’t writing it down take more time? If you’re in a hurry, shouldn’t you just go?”

The glare Alicia shot her said it all. Kalia was forcibly reminded of the time Michael mentioned that she gave the most exquisite death glares. She’d ignored it at the time, but she had to agree when she was on the receiving end. What’s this odd feeling inside me? Am I secretly enjoying this?

*No, I literally can’t talk. I had to use my Unique Skill last night, and it paralyzes my vocal chords for two days. And as for Michael, I don’t know where he is. We aren’t talking right now.*

“You have your Unique Skill? Are you sure you should be telling me that?”

The only other person she knew who’d acquired theirs was Gwyn, the last original member of their group. His Unique Skill, Overawe, made him an unstoppable force against weaker monsters. It was one of the factors that had allowed them to clear a D-Rank Dungeon with only four people at D-Rank.

So the fact that Alicia had hers made her somebody. She was so awestruck, that it took until now for her to register the last part of what Alicia wrote.

“WHAT!? What do you mean you two aren’t talking? Did you have a lover’s quarrel?”

If Alicia could talk, she would’ve been screaming at Kalia. She was smacking the ground while yelling something that was completely inaudible. If not for the anger visible on her face, it would’ve been quite funny to witness. It was actually pretty surreal though. Watching a silent tantrum was a novel experience for her.

After a good minute-long rant, Alicia finally calmed down enough to answer the question. *You know what he did.*

“I, I do?” no, I don’t! That’s why I’m asking you!

*The crap he pulled in the forest, remember? He hasn’t even tried to apologize for it yet and even worse, he’s been deliberately avoiding me because he knows I’m angry about it.*

“Oh, um, um. Well you know, it kind of sounded like he just didn’t want to endanger you. He, uh, he probably just doesn’t know how to confide in people. Or something.”

*Don’t you think I know that? I may have only known him for a few months, but I at least understand that part of his personality. He’s so awkward, that he’ll never actually tell you his real feelings. He’ll do something while saying it was for one reason, when in fact it was for a completely different one.*

“U-um, then have you actually tried talking to him? Not that you can, but you could certainly try to get his attention. Um, maybe you could wait somewhere he’ll have to go to?”

Alicia just rolled her eyes at that suggestion. She’d actually tried that last night, but Michael’s agility was far above hers. He was able to react far quicker than she could, and before she could say a word, he was gone. Of course, she could’ve tried after the meeting they just had, but her emotions got to her, so she’d stormed off before thinking it through.

*He’ll have to talk to me at some point. I just have to wait for him to give in.*

“That sounds exhausting though. Maybe I could talk to him? He’s not avoiding me.”

*No, there’s no need for that. It’s my problem to deal with. I don’t want to burden you.*

“It’s not a burden. I actually wanted to talk to him anyway.”

*Is this about what happened in the forest?*

“W-what? Did he tell you?”

*No, but it was obvious something happened. He’s been acting skittishly around you, which is completely unlike him. I doubt he’d act nervous around the President. Honestly, I think he’s the only one of us who was ready for this place. He never seems taken aback by anything.*

“Oh, yeah, I can see that. But has he really been acting like that? He seems normal to me.”

*You just don’t see it because you don’t know him that well. It’s pretty obvious once you’ve been around him for a while. But if you really want to talk with him, then I may be able to help. If we……*

[Braddock’s POV]

He hasn’t moved. It’s been a half-hour, but he hasn’t moved an inch. I knew he wasn’t taking it well, but for it to be this bad. I don’t know what to do for him.

Jansen’s mind had warped last night, that was an undeniable fact. But how it had warped, well that was the million dollar question. Did he still have his judgment, or had he given into homicidal rage? He hadn’t attacked Michael earlier, so that was a good sign, but you could never truly tell when someone could finally finish breaking. He’d have to keep a close eye on him for now.

Braddock’s preparations hadn’t taken long. He considered the Dungeon to be a battlefield, and so he maintained a certain level of readiness at all times. It was tiring, but he could rest when he was dead.

A few of the others were trickling in, anxiety plain on their faces. Only those with nerves of steel would be at ease in this situation. In order to distract himself, he decided to check his Status for the first time since entering the Dungeon.

Status

Race: Human

Age: 54

State: Weakened (Illness)

Titles: Razor’s Edge, Murderer, Bastion of Hope, Defender, Fortress,

Rank: C

Skills

Normal Skills: Analyze, Survival Instinct, Commanding Rank C, Iron Carapace Rank D, Shield Bash Rank E, Iron Skin Rank F,

Special Skills: Last Gasp Rank F,

Equipment: Defender's Helmet, Defender’s Armor, Defender's Gauntlets, Defender’s Greaves, Defender’s Sabatons, Bangle of Power, Shield of Glorious Defense,

Everything was as he remembered it, except for the fact that Commanding had reached C-Rank. He must’ve missed the notification. That showed that he was at least progressing, even if it was a bit slowly.

His condition was still fine, and his equipment was in order too. Even the shield that had taken quite the beating during the fight with Finnél was now mostly repaired, though he’d likely need to replace it sooner rather than later.

Still, Bastion of Hope? No matter how many times I see it, I’ll never understand why it came with that Skill. For one who supposedly protects hope to have that kind of power. It’s disgusting. Some people think the System is behind World Decay, and I’m inclined to agree.

Letting his Status fade away with a sigh, Braddock glanced around the plaza, looking for signs of certain people. Neither Kalia, nor any of Michael’s group were present yet. All four of them were vital to the upcoming battle. Hrm, I hope they hurry up. It would make the battle that much harder without them.

***

Do-da, do-da. I don’t know the lyrics, so I’m making them up. Do-da, do-da. Something about a racetrack, five miles long, oh the do-da day. Okay, I’m bored. That killed a minute.

I’d found a nice secluded corner of the fort to hide in. In order to pass the time, I decided to do the exercises the Archmage taught the others. They were similar to what Kalia had told us, but went one step further. Mana sense, the art of using mana to analyze your own body and the environment around you, was apparently a fundamental part of learning magic. I kind of skipped this step, so I didn’t have a full grasp of my own mana yet. I could manipulate it, but it was still somewhat alien to me. I’d gone my entire life without ever being exposed to mana, so it made sense.

Taking slow, deep breaths, I allowed my consciousness to sink into myself. This caused me to become hyperaware of my mana, meaning I’d be able to more efficiently control it. Any spells cast in this state would be more mana efficient and stronger than they’d otherwise be. The Archmage apparently used this state when he cast the teleportation spell. Though it was impractical in combat for obvious reasons.

I don’t think I’ll get used to this. I can see my mana circulating throughout my body, tracing my arteries. It’s, it’s both magnificent and horrifying at the same time. It’s just so-. Huh, what’s that?

I’d found this ball of something within myself. It was nestled in the core of my body, close to my heart. A dense little sphere of pure energy the size of my fist exuded heat in all directions, and pulsed in time with my heartbeat. Just “looking" at it calmed me, and filled me with this sense of comfort and security. Though I had no idea what it actually was.

I did notice that the streams of mana within me crisscrossed over it several times, indicating that they were connected somehow. What is this stuff? It’s so dense and vibrant that I can’t believe I haven’t noticed it before. It feels like, like the sensation I get when I kill something, and its life force is added to mine. Is that what this is? My life force?

Perhaps what I did next was extremely stupid, but something about that sphere just called to me. It wanted me to touch it, to feel its warmth up close. And so I stretched my will out towards it.

*Shiver*

How to explain the sensation that resulted. It was like someone was dragging their finger down my spine, like a whisper directly into my brain. It was, intoxicating. I couldn’t help myself after that. I kept caressing it, slowly rubbing its surface over and over. This feels like a euphemism for something, so I’m just going to stop that train of thought.

Things were fine up to this point, but as soon as I had that errant thought, I accidentally grasped the sphere too hard and tugged. Almost immediately after that, I felt my heart skip a beat, pain wracked my body, and I nearly fainted then and there. Whatever I’d just done had severe consequences for it.

“Haaah, haaah, haaah, what the hell…was that?”

My breath came in ragged gasps, and my pulse had yet to settle down. Whatever I’d just done wasn’t something I was supposed to do. Whatever that sphere was, it clearly wasn’t meant to be touched like that. Even just tugging on it had hurt more than being stabbed in the shoulder. Even now, my heart still wouldn’t settle down. It was like my very being was rejecting what I’d done.