《Villain Tries Farming: A LitRPG Adventure》Chapter 98: My Wife's Admirer
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When I woke up, I found the queen sleeping next to me. She had ensured to keep a proper distance between herself and my body. No wonder, for I was stinking from grime and sweat.
It was early morning, and everything was very quiet. Just then eyes peeped into my room. A male zombie. He wasn’t aware I was wide awake. His eyes were fixed on Dieana. Was I dreaming or was he ogling her? His lecherous gaze was on her curves for a rather prolonged period.
I let out a cough.
“And who are you?” I said to him. The zombie flinched like a thief caught red handed.
“Your Highness?” the zombie said.
“I just asked who you are.”
“But… but?” he said, perplexed. Initially he had been afraid that I had seen him staring at the queen like a pervert, but now his fear was totally replaced by confusion. “But, you know who I am, Your Highness”
“Well, you can still say your name again, can’t you?”
The zombie frowned, but he submitted to my demand.
“It’s Bolsh, Your Highness.”
“And what kind of a position do you hold in the village?”
“Your Highness, sorry, but I do not understand you, I am your Prime Minister—”
“All right, all right,” I said. “So why did you come here?”
“I had some important matters to discuss with the Queen,” he replied.
“As you can see, she’s asleep,” I said, acquiring a more comfortable sitting position, leaning back with my hands behind my head. I gave Bolsh an unblinking focused look.
“Well, I will come later then,” Bosh said somewhat awkwardly and turned to leave.
“Next time make sure not to come so early in the morning,” I instructed him. He made a small sound of consent and left.
I curled my lips, glancing at the queen’s face. So there was a prime minister who desired her. He even had the guts to barge into her private chamber just like that with no permission. The lust in Bolsh’s eyes had been crystal clear. Lust for her and lust for the power he could exercise through her. Obviously if he could somehow get rid of me and marry her, Bolsh would become the king.
I brooded over the topic for a while, then decided to let it go. It was none of my concern. Even if Dieana had other lovers, why should I care? If not for the boys, I wouldn’t have come to the village of the zombies at all. Perhaps it would be best if I just ran away now.
Well, I would probably do that, but first I was in dire need of a bath, and some new clothes too. I was able to get directions from the servants where the bath chamber was. There I poured water on myself and scrubbed myself clean. I put on new clothes, provided by the servants. I was careful to remove the pouch containing the gold dust from my old clothes.
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But I did not exit the bath chamber for a long time. I remained there thinking about my predicament, and what steps I should take next. Yes, I could leave the village. It would certainly displease Dieana, but staying in the village would displease me. The thought of sleeping next to a zombie every night was unsettling. And what if the queen wanted to have a little spousal fun with me?
That thought appalled me.
But then, at the same time, I needed evilese to sustain my neutrality. What if I left the village and failed to secure evilese on my own? If I fell back to my evilun status and then some player came across me, I would not even be able to fight them in my current condition. The lack of health vials worsened everything.
I shook my head. I couldn't afford to let weak thoughts consume me. I would have to be patient. I would have to give myself time to cook up a plan. There had to be a way out. Maybe I could find a way to reverse the effects of the time bomb?
I reasoned that I should be able to find some clue if I journeyed to the location in the town where the bomb was unearthed. Yes, this was something very doable.
I went out of the bath chamber, and immediately was greeted by the kids, Tulip and Kanim. ‘My’ kids.
They looked far less zombie-ish than their mother or the other inhabitants of the village thanks to my genes. I played with the kids for a while in the courtyard. As I was thus relaxing, the minister, Bosh, came again.
“I hope the queen is awake now?” he asked me. I shrugged. I really didn’t know. I had come straight to the courtyard from the bath chamber.
“Maybe,” I said.
The Prime Minister furrowed his brows.
“I hope everything is fine between Your Majesty and the Queen?” It was an inappropriate question from all angles. From his tone it was clear that he dearly wished things to turn sour between the queen and me, so that he could snatch the opportunity.
“Maybe,” I repeated, pretending not to hear him.
“Maybe?” Bosh said.
I ignored him completely this time. Bolsh was lusting after my wife and anyone in my place would have smashed his face with a baseball bat.
Bosh went in. After some moments I heard the faint voices of Dieana and Bosh having a conversation.
Suddenly Kanim and Tulip grabbed me from behind and wrestled me to the ground.
“Hey, don’t do that!” I said, giggling, for they were poking my belly with their fingers.
Just then something came to my head. I could use the boys. Not in an exploitative way of course, but I could definitely squeeze some information out of them.
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“Boys tell me one thing,” I said. “What do you know of this world?”
“That it is big,” Kanim said.
“Yeah, it’s very big,” Tulip said and he extended his arms wide to show just how big the world was.
“And what do you know of the humans and the monsters?” I asked.
“Humans and monsters?” Tulip said, pressing two fingers to his lips.
“What are those things?” Kanim asked, puckering.
“Humans… like me,” I said.
The boys just kept staring blankly.
“So you have never seen a human or a monster in your lives?” I asked. “Doesn’t anybody come to the village for tea?”
“Why would anybody come to the village for tea?” the boys asked. “We drink all of it ourselves.”
I was puzzled. There had to be monsters and players in the game world, right?
“Okay then,” I said, deciding to try a somewhat radical approach. “Tell me the story that I told you about how your mother and I met.”
Did fathers even say such things to their kids? I wasn’t sure. I was just trying to eke out whatever virtual history the game world had inserted into their minds regarding me.
“You met her a long time ago,” Tulip answered dutifully. And then scratched his tiny pate. “But I do not recall you saying anything about how you met her… I think the two of you were brother and sister!”
Kanim spanked his brother.
“Father and mother are husband and wife, you idiot!”
Well, things were going south here. I stopped interviewing the children. The rest of the day I spent watching them frolic.
Later on in the night, after the prime minister Bosh left the zombie queen (the two of them spent rather long lengths of time together, definitely not all of that was spent discussing important village matters, right?) I went to her chamber. I was feeling sleepy and sat down on the bed as far away from her as I could.
“Looks like you had a lot of fun with the boys,” Dieana said to me, as she arranged some dresses on a cloth stand.
“Yeah,” I said. I had put the two boys to sleep some time ago in their chamber, narrating to them a story about a man who was injured badly and gets a second chance at life in another world.
Kids made good company thanks to their innocence. Even computer generated kids.
“I feel sad that I fail to give them the time that they deserve from me,” Dieana said, wrapping her arms around herself and looking down.
“Well, if you spend all your time with Bolsh…” I blurted out before I could stop myself. Dieana’s eyes bore down into me sharply. But she softened and was overcome by guilt. “Not that I mind of course,” I quickly added. And it was the truth. She could do whatever she wanted with Bosh. In fact I would be elated if she divorced me and married Bolsh. “You are the queen, it’s your duty to look after the village.”
The queen was the head of the village. I was just a namesake king. In zombie society the queen was the supreme authority.
“To be honest there is not much to do these days,” the queen admitted. “The farms are performing well. The village is running smoothly. Bosh talks a bit too much, usually about random things. I would have to send him away sooner from tomorrow onwards. I don’t like the kind of talkative person he is, even though he is very hardworking.”
Was that really true? Maybe, maybe not. I failed to accurately read Dieana’s face
“Can I ask you something?” I said to her.
“Sure,” Dieana answered.
“How did we meet?”
“You mean the two of us?”
“Yup.”
The queen smiled, reminiscing a sweet memory.
“You used to come to me seeking seeds of evil crops,” the queen said. “How can I forget that?”
“And then?”
“What do you mean ‘and then’?” Dieana said. “We married, of course, that’s it.”
“Did I have others with me when I came to visit you?” I asked. “And what about all my farms? Where are those?”
Dieana became rigid. As if she had discovered a giant hole in her memory.
“I don’t really remember,” she answered after a pause.
The time bomb had triggered a new version of the game world. However, I theorized it had provided the NPCs with paper thin backstories that lacked detail.
Dieana lay down on the bed and closed her eyes.
“I feel sleepy,” she mumbled.
“Can I ask you one more question?” I asked her.
“How many questions are you going to ask me today?” she said, opening her eyes a chink.
“Come on, I've barely begun talking to you,” I said, “Can a good husband not even spend some time chatting with his wife?”
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