《Retribution Engine/Sturmblitz Kunst [Ultraviolent Martial Arts Progression Fantasy]》140 - Snake-oil
Advertisement
Despite his reluctance to leave his post due to the difficulty of traversing even a short stretch of the Living Storm’s territory, he had no choice now.
The mud was shifting, trenches collapsing, old puddles of Rubedo being absorbed altogether, all swirling and shifting and mixing together as the beast at the center of it marshaled its strength.
One could see towers of rock slowly rising from the muck as clay was dredged up to encase skeletons in new shells. Moreover, he felt a great swell underfoot, an impending upheaval, as if Ubul was trying to see whether he could still perform his old feats of geomancy from within his indestructible prison. Whatever Ubul was doing, it would be a bad idea to stick around.
Indeed, just as he had escaped what his senses deemed to be the immediate area of danger, a sudden upsurge of earthen fury ripped through the earth. Geysers of churned soil and stone erupted, trees were uprooted, and faults in the ground were revealed as gaping cracks.
When, some time later, he would arrive to Willowdale’s immediate vicinity, he would find that a disconcerting pattern had been exposed by the quake. Were things not rectified, the Buried Gardens - the arcane and very much literal foundation of Willowdale’s fertility - could be rediscovered before their due time.
...But then, the ridiculous pageantry of a caravan spearheaded by a gigantic ironclad floating vessel might be sufficient distraction.
Following the quake, the markets returned to normal operation with staggering speed. Besides a few older folk who had lost their balance and a few things that had been knocked to the ground, no real damage seemed to have occurred, and so it was that Zel and Zef decided to simply continue perusing the markets as if nothing had happened.
Advertisement
For one, there was the obvious factor of novelty, of curiosity, and for two… Zel needed to find someone who could replace her arm-harness, and somehow, she had a strong feeling that Collier wouldn’t have the time to do so - at least not in a timely manner.
They came by a good number of interesting stalls, tents, and other mercantile establishments as they walked.
One had a wizened-looking man sat out in front, selling various alchemic wares from ingredients to tools and glassware. Behind him, there were great jars stacked ontop of one another, and each jar contained a deformed, fetus-like homunculus with an adult replica of the alchemist’s face. They were labeled as “The Aspiring Alchemist’s Best Friend”, and cost a little over a hundred gelt each. Some of them looked half-dead already.
Another was simply an open tent with a copious amount of melee weapons on display, most of them plain, utilitarian, and simple. It was also one of the more frequented vendors, if the sweaty, stressed-out looking workmen stocking the shelves were to go by.
Right next to it was a similar establishment, but for firearms. These were… Almost exclusively muzzle loaders, with a small minority of weird intermediary designs using custom-made cartridges. The firing mechanisms varied from wheellock, to sparklock, to runelock, to… Needles meant to pierce a special paper cartridge, of all things.
They carried a copious variety of blunderbusses as compared to the expected offerings of pistols, rifles, and other firearms. One particular item that stood out was a weapon labeled as not for sale, this being a short-barreled muzzle-loader, whose barrel also doubled as the handle of a saber. The firing mechanism was apparently contained mostly within the scabbard, though the practicality of such a weapon was dubious at best.
At that point one might as well just attach a gun to the scabbard, or use the bulk of a blunderbuss as the mount for an axe.
Advertisement
Curiously, they lacked a firearm that Zel had come to consider a ubiquitous middle-step - lever-operated volcanics, with that strange self-contained ammunition. It seemed Collier was the sole saleswoman of such innovation, not to mention her apparent obsession with miniaturizing cannon shells for use in personal firearms.
A short distance further, they came upon a big tent with an altogether amusing mode of self-advertisement.
It had a sleazy-looking, slit-eyed man with suspicious scales on his neck manning the counter, speaking with a comically exaggerated hissing affectation to his tone, exalting the effects of his wares.
THE SINCERE SNAKE-OIL SALESMAN
They offered a wide variety of products, but the chief among them was actual, literal snake-oil. The salesman made an entire comedy routine out of cartoonishly convincing bystanders of the efficacy of his snake-oil, claiming that it could cause the upper layers of one’s skin to turn into serpentlike scales and spark a molting process that would cause aged skin to peel away whilst the layer underneath would be restored.
He played it up, intentionally making it seem unbelievable, only to offer a free tryout to any comers, stating that he would give them a free bottle if it worked.
When, inevitably, someone curious gave in, it actually did exactly what was advertised. After the show, he shifted to a more trustworthy version of his persona, earnestly warning buyers that using it for long periods of time could cause mutagenic reactions, using himself as a living example, and stating that it wasn’t deleterious as much as it was a strange thing that people asked about.
Besides snake-oil, he also displayed a wide variety of small cosmetic products, aphrodisiacs, and so-called “massage crystals''. To the surprise of none and the feigned outrage of many a housewife, they were mostly conspicuously cock-shaped quartz sculptures that rumbled like a hive of angry bees when supplied with a bit of essentia. It was no more surprising that such enchanted implements were offered in shapes and materials that implied the maker’s intent for their use with prolonged appendages, as well as ones that looked almost identical to a regular old lightgem, and even glowed slightly when active.
They might’ve bought one or two of those, or even some snake oil, were the tent not practically swarming with customers already.
Advertisement
- In Serial68 Chapters
Saga of the Soul Dungeon
When Caden dies in an accidental fall, he is merged with a dungeon core in another world. The problem with that? The dungeon core wasn't dead, and he has share mind-space with it. And that doesn't take into account mastering his new abilities well enough to escape from the powerful wizard that is, understandably, leery about allowing a dungeon to escape. Even after he manages to escape he needs to found and manage a dungeon. Of course the location he chose might have a few issues of its own. He is on the border of two human nations who are not particularly pleased to share. A sentient plant race claims the dungeon as sacred ground. And, amidst the chaos, teams of adventurers just want to make a living and figure out how to deal with the latest challenge. Just so readers know, Caden is not a murder-hobo. He is a genuinely nice person trying to make the best of his situation. If you want a main character that revels in killing people, this is not the book for you. This is a reworking, and continuation, of my original novel into first person. And it is going great! The writing is well past where my original novel got to. This work will never be dropped. Hiatuses may happen due to life, but I will never abandon this fiction. Currently 20+ chapters on Patreon
8 141 - In Serial11 Chapters
Forced Immortality
Guy dies, transmigrates and then dies some more. Contrary to what you might think, this is actually a story about an OP protagonist. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Things to keep in mind before reading: - I have never written a story before so this will most likely end up being pretty bad. - I have done zero planning for this story. - This is mostly something i wanted to try out in my freetime so updates are going to be sporadic at best. - Chapter length will fluctuate until i figure out this whole writing thing. - I have no idea if there will be romance. Might add it in the future if this story somehow doesn't end up as a failure. - There will be some stuff from the Star Wars Universe but this is NOT a Star Wars fanfiction. - The story will be pretty explicit in the gore department so if your squeamish, beware. - This story will be a slow burn. - If any of the above changes, i'll update the synopsis and i might make a seperate chapter just detailing these points. - Last point, English isn't my native language so have some mercy on my poor soul, ok? If none of the above has scared you away then i invite you to join me on this catastrophic ride. It'll probably be kinda fun.....hopefully... This story is also on Scribblehub and Webnovel.
8 136 - In Serial15 Chapters
A Soul's Wish
Hey everyone! Just a heads up. I am adding the Traumatising content tag because some parts might be considered as, well, traumatising. I want to point out though, it is not my aim to make a story that focuses on this aspect. Yuki is a college freshman that has been pulled into a fantasy world full of magic and monsters. Without any special talents, at level one, and with only a mere wisp as a companion he will need to figure out how to survive in the hostile environment. As he grows stronger and travels across this new world, he will find friends, make enemies, learn betrayal, overcome obstacles and grow into a hero. Hopefully. His goal? To save a princess, of course. A classic adventure fantasy story set in another world. Cover by the lovely Sara Lucasi Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saralucasi/
8 146 - In Serial13 Chapters
Forsaken By The Light
He wanted knowledge and freedom. But the Heavens did not allow it. But determined to be free and to control his destiny he decides to fight the Creator and is sentenced to death. Follow the story of the angel Augusto, on his journey through magic and freedom.
8 91 - In Serial54 Chapters
The Mafia Leader, Damien.
Sequel of His girlDamien Russo, his name makes people scared. Almost everyone knows him either for being a successful billionaire or for being the powerful, heartless Mafia Leader.Sneak peek⬇Why are you helping? Why are you wasting your time on me when you could have ignored everything." I dare to ask him. He stared at me for a solid 3 minutes before he moved away from the wall and made his way to me. He didn't stop till he successfully caged me between the table and him."Because since I've laid my eyes on you, I've promised myself that I would look after you and protect you from everyone." He stated, his face dangerously close to mine."W-why?" I managed to ask.He didn't reply to me but instead, he started to lean in, making my heart beating fast in my chest. My hands were on my side, on the table, gripping it tightly. He put one of his hand on my cheek and made me look at him. He leaned and crashed his lips on mine.
8 97 - In Serial42 Chapters
A little Kitty's journey though a random world
Hello - this story has been completly stopped for a long time, and while I had planned to continue - I have chosen to stop adding on to this story here. But FEAR NOT. For I have quite literally came back from the dead to write another story that will tie in a good portion of this story that I had already written - just, you know differently. So if any of you people still liked this story .... I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU NOT TO READ THE OTHER ONE. Because well reasons... So for those who have never read this crap story here, please proceed to my other story that may or may not come out. But seriously, the other story is not written the same way I was writing this one. You have been warned.
8 108

