Ranvir blinked awake looking confusedly at the trees passing by unnaturally. He strained his eyes trying to focus on what he was seeing but the woods moved against their own nature, making it difficult for him to concentrate.

He groaned and shifted. His ribs ached acutely, like a network of orange claws sinking into his side pulsing to a drummer’s beat. He coughed and writhed, something beneath him shifted and became a painful knife into his side. Reaching out, his fingers found wood and managed to pull himself up slightly to adjust the knife beneath him.

Frowning, he turned to see what he was feeling. He’d been lying on thick burlap sacks, the scent of the vegetables finally clearing in his nose as he saw the wooden bed beneath them.

Ranvir let out a light whimper as he hurried to settle down. The forest was passing by him unnaturally because he was lying in a cart. In his twisting and turning he’d accidentally turned something in one of the bags to point directly at his ribs, which caused the pain.

He settled down feeling somewhat calmed, his hand still resting on the wall of the cart. Inhaling deeply and slowly, the orange claws dug into his side, each of them echoing across their network. Ranvir stifled another cough as more of his senses starting aligning themselves.

There was a sensitive burning heat in the center of his chest, right at the gateway to tether-space, noise of both animal, human, and cart polluted the area to the point where making anything specific out was basically impossible. The wagon shifted worryingly underneath him as it passed over the slightly uneven road, Ranvir swallowed and tightened his hold on the wall and focused on the orange network of pain, drowning his other response.

Examining the area, Ranvir realized they had to be at least a few hours outside of Crotenus and he’d somehow slept through all of it. Leaning back, he tried imagine the feel of the wagon shifting underneath him was just the passing of cows lightly rumbling the ground. Looking into the sky, he could see a huge dust cloud obscuring a large swathes, We must be in a caravan, Ranvir thought, no sun, he noted, though as he thought about it hadn’t seen it at any point since they began traveling to Crotenus.

Ranvir rubbed a hand over his face, almost two weeks of stubble on his chin. Hardly noteworthy. At the academy they required that you shave regularly, at least a few times a week, but Ranvir hardly needed more than a single shave during that time to look completely clean shaven. He’d seen teachers with more growth on their face after seven hours than he had right now.

I don’t have a razor, Ranvir thought, watching the dust rising and dissipating in the wind. I don’t have much of anything, he shook his head, deliberately changing the subject to something he could safely focus on.

What is the name for clouds? Ranvir knew Amalia had gone over it during his lessons, but he struggled to remember the word. She’d used it as an example word for a letter. Brows furrowed, Ranvir focused on the distant sky, hemmed in by the trees and their hanging leaves growing back and forth as much as they swayed in the light breeze. Even lying down doing nothing physical, Ranvir could feel himself sweating it was so abysmally hot.

He sipped from the water flask the cart driver had given him. That had been a most startling reveal. He’d reminded Ranvir of the few times he’d seen bears roaming the forests of Elusria. One time, he and Es had been playing in the forest, back when they were really young and they’d seen a bear mother and her cubs in the distance. The driver had reminded him most of a five-and-a-half foot tall bear cub walking on its rear legs. He’d had long articulating fingers, even longer than Ranvir’s, but with his round ears, big eyes, and brown, extremely fluffy and light fur drifting in the breeze, Ranvir immediately liked him despite the creepy fingers.

From the way he’d sounded as he’d spoken to him, Ranvir wouldn’t be surprised if it lacked the vocal facilities to speak Fiyan, instead he assumed it spoke Kortian—the other language that was commonly spoken throughout Korfyi.

Ranvir let the liquid roll through his mouth as he tasted it. Even the water tasted different. He puckered his lips, wondering about the taste—it was more metallic—before swallowing.

The wagon hit a rock and shifted noticeably, jostling Ranvir and all the wares in the bed. Tightening up, his breath grew thin as he wrapped fingers tightly around the top of wall, clutching it intently. His focus narrowed in on the distant point of the road they were leaving behind as they began to sting involuntarily.

The wagon hit something else and Ranvir let out a gasp, closing his eyes as he tried to breath around the dizziness that hit him. Choking on thin air, Ranvir leaned back in the… he focused on the trees passing him by, seeing branches and leaves rapidly growing into and out of existence with… Ranvir closed his eyes trying to breathe deeply as he was rocked back and forth by sway of the… He hammered a knuckle into his thigh repeatedly focusing on the pain as he hissed breaths in and out as fast as he could manage.

“Ranvir?”

His eyes opened wide to see Pashar standing in front of the wagon-bed, looking at him with worried eyes. Her met her gaze for a moment, before looking away.

“What’s happening?”

He shook his head forcing himself to look at her, “The wagon jostled something and fell down and hit me in the ribs,” he gave her a tight smile before looking away focusing on the normal, regular blue sky.

The wagon shifted and Ranvir squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, crushing the treated wood under his hand as hard as he could. When it settled, he opened his eyes to find Pashar perched on the cart looking down at him.

“You sure there’s nothing else?”

He nodded once then tore his gaze back to the sky, “Just a little pain,” his voice didn’t shake as he spoke, his eyes didn’t sting, and he was able to relax his form breathing deeper with less pain.

“You’re not alone,” Pashar said softly, her accent growing clearer, “I’m here too. It’s not your burden to bear alone.”

“Thanks,” Ranvir said with a smile, though he only briefly glanced at her. The environment shifted behind her too much for his gaze to linger for even a moment. “That’s nice.”

He was sure she heard the way the breath caught in his throat as the cart shifted when she got off. She left him a refilled water bottle, which he drank from greedily. The bear-cub-man growled something at him, but he didn’t know how to reply. Or in that moment how to even look at him.

“I should get some sleep,” Ranvir muttered to himself, though he didn’t close his eyes.

Ranvir was lying on the back of the cart for the second day, his side throbbed the network of orange claws gaining a tint of attention grabbing red as they spread pain throughout his ribs on regularly scheduled intervals.

He’d tried to walk in the beginning, but whatever damage he’d done to himself pressing the soul-imprint into the message had crippled him as badly as his ribs ever had. He’d been slow and when he’d forced himself to speed up he’d tired and subsequently hurt himself.

The cart jostled and Ranvir’s fingers briefly tightened around the water flask before relaxing again. A flash of light reflected into his eyes, causing him to look down. One of the sigils from his armband had lain itself across the bottle and caught the light.

The spear of the father/warrior wrought in brass glinted back at him. A daughter I can’t travel with and is unable to take care of. He lifted his arm, revealing the other sigils all wrought in the same burnished orange of brass. Symbols that had once been encouraging now felt dissuading. The space glyph, with a three lined tether running a circle around it. For power I no longer wield. Ranvir’s face twisted into a frown.

The son/daughter’s intricate network of either the roots of a tree or the canopy of a tree. For parents I can no longer see. He grit his teeth, lifting the brass shield up to look at it. The companion/ally. For the friends I had to leave. His mouth narrowed and he closed his eyes clutching the flask tightly, imagining the metal bending and breaking under his fingers.

Ranvir stepped out of the carriage, a light hand pressed to his ribs as they waved goodbye to the bear-man-cub-thing and the rest of the caravan. He’d never seen much more than the back of his wagon, even when they’d stopped for the night he’d pretty much slept right where he’d stepped down.

They’d been dropped off in front of Ione’s manor, just outside of the village of Eriene. Ranvir’d never actually seen the town, but he couldn’t imagine what constituted a village when one of their cities was of a size with Elusria’s biggest.

Ranvir made an effort to walk straight as they headed into the house just as twilight settled on the land. They were briefly greeted by Ione, but Ranvir managed to get out of an extended conversation by admitting to his exhaustion. He stopped by Frija’s crib briefly, currently stationed in another room, where a nanny had taken care of her. Ranvir didn’t want to move her as she was already asleep.

Tension crept into Ranvir’s neck and stomach as he gently closed the door to her room and started limping towards his own. With every step it knotted tighter, wrapping itself into a fist of—

Ranvir swallowed hard as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. The knot came undone. Ranvir started pacing in long rapid strides, pent up energy crashing through his body. He ran a hand through his hair and over his face, then again. He hissed at the annoying growth on his face and let out a shaky breath.

Pain flowed refreshed from the orange network in his side with each uncaring step. Claws dug in slightly with every pulse of foot on floor. Ranvir took it in. It helped, somehow.

He pulled a hand over his beard again, then rummaged through the few things in his room but found nothing to shave it with. “Goddessdammit,” he cursed running another hand through his hair and rubbed at the stubble. Soft and weak. “Nothing,” Ranvir cursed rummaging through the drawer, turning each on its head dropping what clothes Ione had given him onto the floor, “Nothing.”

He paced the room again, then once more, then again, and again. Each step made pain blossom in his side, grounding him. He ripped at one of the feet of the bed, pulling it out from where it sat next to the wall. Grunting in frustration at how heavy the frame was. He pushed off the wall and returned to pacing, nearly tripping on the bed now that it was in the way.

He stumbled helplessly, “Fuck!” He cursed and slammed a fist into the wall. The skin on his knuckles broke. Pain radiated bright and red from his hand. He looked down to see it mirrored in the blood dripping from his knuckles. He hit the wall again. The pain grounded him. He breathed more easily. Again, harder. He felt the snap as much as he heard it.

He stumbled back from the wall cradling his fist, smearing blood on his shirt and fingers. The pain grew until it took over everything. Ranvir breathed easily, the network of pain on his side was dull compared to his hand. Tension he hadn’t realized had returned, clotting and knitting his stomach into a knot, evaporated as he looked down at his hand. A bruise was already forming along the back. The pain grew worse and Ranvir grew calmer.