Chapter 231.1

[Lee Hyung-jin]

As I lay on the bed, I repeatedly threw the monster ball up and down . He was dazed, frustrated and unenergetic .

A strong sense of exhaustion and fatigue was eroding my whole body .

It’s been like this ever since I went to the competition stage .

Is it because of the feeling of helplessness?

I don’t think I can do anything, or should even do anything .

It wasn’t like this when I took part in the stage separately with Ho-jae .

Rather, I was motivated after the struggle .

It was after I suffered so much that I became so motivated, but I also decided to survive by myself, thinking about my future plans .

Until the gods became involved in the competition stage .

After that, I had to run as far away as possible, and that too, all day long .

I can’t even remember the exact situation at that time, I just knew I had to run .

I did everything that I could to escape the endless explosions and the heat burning the planet’s land .

Nevertheless, I almost died several times .

Indeed, if I had responded a little late, it was clear that not only the party I was with, but I would also have died in the explosion .

And at the last moment, when I was burrowed deeply on the other side of the planet, I felt a strong vibration under the ground .

If the gods hadn’t sent the party out in time, could they have survived?

That couldn’t be .

That’s how I judged it back then .

The moment the tremor reaches where I was, it’ll kill me .

So I took out the monster ball, which had saved the female challenger named Lee Jin .

I knew if I stayed out there, I couldn’t protect myself, but if I’m in a monster ball, maybe I can live .

Monster Ball’s admission quota was one .

At that time, I wasn’t worried about Lee Jin .

I was wondering whether I should kill the other members or just go in .

After I went into the monster ball, they could have taken me out .

After the explosion, if they still survived, they would have blamed my actions .

Then, I thought it would be the right decision to kill neatly and go in .

When I came back to the hotel after all the fuss, I had a lot of thoughts .

I felt strange .

Of course I knew I was different .

I was trapped in this crazy hell . I couldn’t help but change .

But I couldn’t believe I thought of killing others so easily .

And if the situation didn’t end there, I’m sure I would have executed my thought .

Even if I went behind and regretted it, that moment would still have taken lives .

I felt that I was acting strange .

As if I wasn’t being myself .

I felt a sense of skepticism and futility .

Why am I struggling to survive like this?

Is it right to live by hurting others?

I never thought about it on the tutorial stage .

No one has ever appeared on the stage to the 12th floor where I am .

It was really dangerous, but at least I didn’t have to kill the monster and feel guilty .

I would gladly kill them and then rejoice in the pleasure of my survival .

But is it okay for me to try to kill a person, treating them like monsters?

Even if I was in danger of dying .

The most painful thing was, if I were to be in the same situation again, I would try to kill another person .

Without thinking, it was clear that I would make decisions faster than anyone else .

It wasn’t just skepticism about myself that was bothering me .

I am not confident of going through the stages of Hell’s Difficulty .

It was scary .

The fear I felt on the run seemed to be the same on the stage .

It was not a question of whether I could clear the upper stages, but a fear that I would die if I went in .

[Lee Ho-jae, 49th floor: Sorry . ]

The message came at dawn .

We had quite a long conversation .

There was no feeling of resentment or disappointment .

I didn’t hate him or feel bad about him .

I was too scared to bear such a trivial feeling .

I just repeated that it was okay like a broken robot .

“It can’t be alright…”

I breathe in deeply .

As if I had swallowed a hot lump of iron, my chest felt hot and stuffy, then suddenly becoming cold .

I grab the monster ball, which had been repeatedly thrown and caught .

Monster Ball did its part that day .

In fact, it was the first time I had ever used this monster ball .

The monster ball wasn’t bought in the store window, it was obtained after I cleared a stage, as an additional reward .

At first, I sneered, saying what kind of trash item they had given me .

This monster ball was seemingly useless to me, who was attacking the stage alone .

Just because you have a monster ball, doesn’t mean it’ll clear the stage for you .

Rather, things will only become more dangerous while staying inside the monster ball .

But that day, Monster Ball proved its usefulness admirably .

When I was about to pass out, I had taken the help of the monster ball and thus, am still alive .

Without it, I would have died on the competition stage .

Maybe I can use this again .

The most problematic floor in Hell’s Difficulty is the 17th floor .

If I put myself in this monster ball and give it to Hojae .

If I could skip the 17th floor and move upstairs just like that .

Wouldn’t my chances of survival be much higher?

The question is whether this is possible .

Damn it . I have to ask Kirikiri about this .

I wish I had come up with this idea earlier .

Anyway, I’ll take this and ask Hyung .

I was supposed to meet Hyung with the vice president of the Order of Vigilance this afternoon .

Feeling a little optimistic, my complexion turned better . .

As I was leaving, I remembered the god who gave me this monster ball as a gift .

I once resented them for giving me useless items, but now I’m really grateful .

The God of Hope .

The God of Hope really smiled at me .