《Everyone's a Catgirl!》Chapter 154: Desert You
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That was some of the worst sleep I’d ever had. My body cricked and cracked when I sat up. As I reached around to touch my back, I could feel indents in my skin where it met with the wooden frame. If I’d known that the Third Shell’s idea of a ‘bed’ was just a stack of blankets stacked on top of one another, then I’d have taken the floor of another inn. At least we’d grown accustomed to sleeping in tents for the last few days.
To my right, Cannoli bolted awake in her ‘bed.’ Deep, dark bags hung under her eyes, and her hair was mangled to the point that it looked like a bird had recently taken up residence. She turned her head toward me.
“Matt,” she grumbled.
“Good morning,” I said back and gave her a half-hearted wave. I was sure I heard something creak beneath me. This damn bed better not break. Not right now.
“It’s…certainly morning.” Cannoli whipped the covers away to reveal Ravyn curled beside her, a very uncomfortable-looking Ball Gag strangled in her arms. A soft curse escaped Ravyn’s lips, and Cannoli sighed.
“Better cover her back up before we get in trouble.” I chuckled weakly.
Cannoli shook her head and turned back to me, blinking slowly. “How did you sleep?”
“Not great,” I admitted. I moved my neck from side to side, and something snapped again. A sharp jolt of pain shot down the side of my neck, settling in my shoulder. I made no effort to hide a groan. “Hey, Keke.” I turned to my left and shook her by the shoulder. She’d been sleeping on her side in a position that renewed the pain in my side. “It’s time to get up.”
She blinked awake, covering her face with one hand. “You’re not serious.”
I frowned. “Yeah, I am. Come on, let’s get up.”
“I didn’t sleep.”
You poor thing. “I see. Well, hey. Maybe some breakfast will cheer you up.”
“I don’t want breakfast. I want sleep. Good sleep.” She growled.
Maybe I should leave her alone for a bit. Come back up for her later. As soon as the thought appeared, I retracted it. No, I’m sure she’ll want to see the city with us.
“Me too, Keke. We’ll try again later tonight.”
With the most exasperated sigh I’d heard from her yet, Keke sat up and rocked her lower jaw from side to side in frustration. “Fine. Fine.”
I left the girls to wake up, wandering into the narrow hallway. I caught Tristan outside his door.
“Good morning, Matt,” he said with a wave and an easy smile.
How does he do it? The whole smiling thing, no matter what’s going on?
“Hey, Tristan,” I said, waving back.
Destiny, Lara, and Zahra filed into the hallway, Destiny and Lara’s tones distant and apathetic. Their faces were plastered with the same worn expressions, and they seemed to be struggling to keep up appearances. They paused just behind Tristan, rubbing the sleep from their eyes.
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“Good morning, De—” I began.
The door I walked out of just seconds before slammed open. Following the sound were the disgruntled versions of Keke, Cannoli, and Ravyn. Wisdom advised me not to say a word to them. I got out of their way as they passed me, and not once did they look at me. After they began their descent downstairs, Ceres came up behind me, wearing perhaps the most alert expression I’d seen from anyone this morning.
“Sir Matt, it is a pleasure to see you.” Ceres curtsied, smiling. “Judging from the appearances of the others, I’m assuming you did not find rest either.”
“Yeah. You could say that.” I nodded. “What about you? You don’t look any worse for wear.”
Ceres beamed. “Yes. It seems the heat brought about powerful somnolent feelings.” She put a hand on her chest. “Sorentina’s conditions fared little better, so the bed was a minor adjustment for me.”
“Som… nolent?” That was a new one for me.
“Means to be sleepy,” Tristan explained.
Guess Ceres didn’t have a great bed very often.
“Trista—er, Young Master—” Destiny began.
“Tristan. Come on, Destiny.” He took his hand in hers, forcing a smile.
Destiny’s cheeks pinked. “Tristan is so smart.”
At times, I liked to think that Tristan had the book smarts and I had the street smarts. But after our discussion at the campfire a while ago, maybe he had that on me too.
“I noted that Ravyn was not of our number this morning?” Ceres asked.
“She crawled in with Cannoli. But I’m sure she’ll deny it if you ask her.” I chuckled.
“Mmm,” Lara hummed.
“Come on,” Zahra said, suddenly shouldering her way through Tristan and the other girls. “There’s work to be done.”
“Let’s get to it, then,” I said, watching Zahra pass me.
We sat at two narrow tables in the one other room outside the lobby, and the innkeeper put down an awkwardly shaped bowl in front of each of us. No two bowls looked alike, and some were definitely much smaller than others. It was getting harder and harder to keep up an optimistic front.
“Where did you get these bowls?” I asked.
The innkeeper dropped an enormous stockpot at the center of my table. The table shook as if the entire thing would splinter and break apart any second. The bowls wobbled, and I caught mine just as it fell off the edge. It landed squarely in my palm as I watched one of the other bowls across from me fall and shatter into a dozen dull pieces.
Of all the girls whose bowl could’ve dropped, it just had to be Cannoli’s.
She had her hand outstretched toward the broken remnants as if she’d tried to catch it and failed. Cannoli adjusted her posture, looking straight ahead, and tears welled up in her eyes.
“You break it, you buy it,” said the innkeeper.
It was getting harder and harder not to say something to the innkeeper. She’d been anything but cordial up until now. Third Shell or not, I wasn’t about to let her take advantage of Cannoli like that.
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“She doesn’t owe you anything,” Ravyn spat before I could. “You almost broke the fucking table with your pot. It’s not her problem if you can’t provide proper bowls.”
“Innkeeper’s a fuck! Squawwwwk!” Ball spouted from the safety of her shoulder.
That’s gonna be expensive, Ball.
The innkeeper raised a brow at Cannoli. Her tail slowly waved side to side behind her. “I slaved over a stove all morning for you ingrates, and this is how you repay me?” she asked, motioning to us, her pointer finger lingering on Ball Gag. “Get out of my establishment. I don’t want to see you back here.”
After all the Bells Zahra and I shelled out?
“Mattaku. ‘Establishment’ is too nice a word for this dump,” said Ravyn.
This is not going to end well.
The innkeeper slammed her hand on the table. “You San Island bitches are all the same, aren’t you? Say that again and I’ll send this up to the Ejderha. I’m sure they’d love another girl to hang in a cage.” The innkeeper smiled snidely.
Ravyn looked up at the innkeeper for a time, scratching her nails against the table. I thought for sure I saw Ball shoot her an equally disgusted look.
“Is that a threat?” I asked. I could tell from the look on everyone else’s faces, I wasn’t the only one feeling this way.
“R-Ravyn, Matt, I’m sorry, it’s fine,” Cannoli whimpered. “I’m just—”
“Why are you apologizing?” Ravyn rose to her feet and glared at her. “Stick up for yourself!”
“Hey, that’s out of line,” Keke said, standing up next. “Don’t talk like that to her.”
“Guys, guys, calm down.” Tristan was the next one to get up. “I get you’re stressed out, but let’s not fight over it.”
Keke and Ravyn scowled at each other.
We need to get out of here.
“Look, we’ll leave. Keep the Bells, I don’t want to cause any trouble.” I rose to my feet, shaking my head in disbelief. “Thanks for the rooms. Come on, everyone. We’ll find another place to eat.”
“What about my damn bowl?” The innkeeper screamed.
“You mean your deathkeeper skulls?” Zahra asked with arms crossed. “Don’t think I don’t know what those are. Cheap way to treat your patrons, having them scoop their food out of a skull.” I had no idea what a deathkeeper skull was, but the change in the innkeeper’s tone told me I should be grateful she said something. “Third Shell or not, the other places at least make their own bowls instead of scavenging them off of dead birds.”
The deathkeeper’s a bird?
Zahra’s advance shut the innkeeper up. “I-I… that is—” Just when I was expecting an apology to flow from her lips, the innkeeper returned to her previous state of fury, letting out a growl. “Saoirse curse you and your kind. Get the hell out of my inn.” She pointed to the exit, and our Parties left without a word.
An hour later, our bellies were full—from plates, not bird skulls—and our [Energy] somewhat restored.
“If I may make a suggestion,” Ceres said with her hand held up.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“I believe we would cover more ground and acquire more knowledge if we were to separate into two groups,” Ceres said, putting her forefingers together and then parting them for effect.
“I agree,” said Tristan. “I want to see how the economy is suffering. We still don’t know where they get their water and food. I haven’t seen much trade coming in, so I want to do some research there.”
As curious as I was, I had to admit that I didn’t see much purpose. Unless there was some way to work ourselves into the palace somehow, I wasn’t sure how that information would help us. Even so, I had to assume some motive was behind his reasoning, so I left him to it.
“Alright. If you want to take your Party around the Shell, we’ll check out the Guild Hall first.” I turned to the girls in my Party for confirmation. “Is everyone okay with that?”
General nods and affirmations passed from one girl to the other. Ravyn still seemed burned from our unfortunate stay, so I let her be.
“Well, sounds like ya got a lot to do. I’m goin’ to go check in on my gigashanks,” said Agni. “It’s been fun, though. If ya need a ride back to any of the other cities, I’ll be holin’ up with my beauties for the next couple of days.”
“Thank you so much,” I said. I smiled, extending my hand. “I promise we’ll do our best to help you.”
Agni smirked. “Ya got yer work cut out for ya.” Her stare traveled, landing on each of us for a short while before moving on to the next. “Best of luck!” She grasped my hand, shaking it once and jogging back to the front gate, waving to us all the while.
“Alright,” I said, turning to face everyone else. “Let’s split up, gang!” I said in my best Scooby-Doo impression.
Tristan stifled a laugh beneath his hand, and I could feel my cheeks reddening. “Haven’t heard that in a while,” I heard him mumble.
To my relief, the girls were none the wiser to my cringey moment.
“Baka,” Ravyn grumbled.
I rolled my eyes and gestured for them to follow. I was sure it was going to take a lot more than Scooby Snacks to get Magni out of that damn fortress.

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