Since the following chapter has some ‘philosophy’ in it, the author does not share Joey’s views on most of what he’s going to elaborate on because of the implications of said elucubrations.

[Light-Bended Reality] is a mighty skill. The primary use I got out of it was to somehow ‘brute-force’ the laws of physics to accommodate my personal understanding of the [Gamma-Knife]. However, its use can be broader than that. As you might have imagined, the most basic one is escaping crazy ex-girlfriends with murderous intentions.

Abilities are more flexible than you might think. Based on your level and proficiency with them, it’s as if some hard math was hidden behind them. It’s like a video game that doesn’t show you the actual values behind stuff. As my proficiency with basic magic and Light Magic is pretty high, that skill is more powerful than whatever base version of it. Gold means it’s about the highest grade it can reach before morphing into a Unique skill. But surely, that’s not my concern. The biggest reason I got a few powerful skills, especially gold ones, is because of [Gamma-Knife]. The creation of a Unique skill so early required a lot of effort. Plus, it doesn’t always happen that you get the skill for your magic. You must have reached an internalized understanding that goes miles above the average guy’s head in order to do that.

Take the rose, for example. That’s not a skill. But it’s still my most powerful shield. Lord Juler has his own theories, saying that it could be an incomplete Unique Skill. Who knows? The stuff behind the casting of that skill is more complicated than you imagine. But the overall layering is still a bit--oh, I see! Yeah, the magic is far from perfect and has too many inconsistencies. The layers are actually not perfectly superimposed.

“JOEY!”

A scream splits the air, probably amplified by magic.

I scratch my chin.

Is that crazy woman going to hunt down me or something? I mean, try to. Not that she will catch me. I doubt even Valarith noticed how I escaped.

I look around and keep using [Light-Bended Reality] to fold light around me and make it look like I’m not actually here. A rogue class could probably sense my presence. Or not. This use of [Light-Bended Reality] is, for some reason, above the usual [Invisibility] spell. Not that anyone else knows, including Valarith and Lord Juler. You know, it’s useful to have a little ace in the sleeve, especially if it’s something to use for escape.

Well, I’ll find a place to chill; no biggie.

Do you know who Lucinda reminds me of?

Let’s have a little premise. I grew up in a very Christian, Catholic family, right? I mean, Italians: they have the Pope. Whatever. So, that means I had to go through all the nine steps of being a son in a Christian family.

Now, as you might imagine, many of my friends were atheists from a very young age. Or simply, they had no idea what being ‘religious’ actually meant. On the other hand, some of my friends who grew up Catholic because of their Italian roots became atheists in their teenage years. Now, there was a fascinating trend among these people. It wasn’t a precise line but a general divide.

People who had always been atheists mostly didn’t care about religion. They rarely thought about it or felt superior over others because they were atheists. With exceptions, obviously. However, the people who were religious first, or who grew up with a lot of religion around them, somehow became these obnoxious shit-throwing chimps who made atheism their personality.

If I had to give an explanation, it’s because those who were religious or grew up with religion around were more used to idols. So, atheism just became a replacement for religion. They weren’t any wiser because of it. If anything, they basically became those Christian branches that go door to door to bother people or who feel superior over others just because they are religious.

Why am I talking about this when we were talking about Lucinda?

Well, it’s a matter of values, really. Most people are terrified by nihilism and by approaching a mindset revealing that the great majority of what we do is meaningless. And the bigger the values, the bigger the fear. Simple. That’s why the more religious people who fall to atheism need to impersonate that, I believe. And, in general, that’s why we make stupid things our entire personality.

Lucinda just replaced her previous failed academic career with trying to be a poser-Vanedeni. That’s it. It’s that simple, really.

Or is it?

Heh, probably is in this case.

I pop a cigar in my mouth and start looking around while I take my invisible stroll. Where should I go? Mh, is Marcus’s tower still closed off? There are cool books there. I’ll visit, maybe. Let’s check it out.

Anyway, if what Lucinda is doing is wrong, what is the right thing to do? Am I doing the right thing? Nah. This is the kind of psycho-philosophical babble that I usually try to avoid. It’s really not productive on most occasions.

However, no less than Nietzsche found out the problem of values. Not that I support everything the guy said, you know. It’s philosophy, not football. I don’t have to embrace everything about a specific ‘doctrine’ or ‘philosophy,’ even if I like some of it.

So, Nietzsche had quite an interesting idea about the Übermensch, the ‘beyond-man.’

To sum it up, you can imagine three stages of life. The stage when you idolize something - no matter what it is - followed by the stage where you become a painful nihilist; one of those people who are constantly depressed and think they have figured out the world but also want to kill themselves because of it. Does this ring a bell? Come on, you must know at least one edgy boy like that.

Beyond nihilism, there’s the man who figured out his problems. Our German friend said a lot of stuff about that, but I probably stopped agreeing with him just before talking about the beyond-man. I don’t know what the last stage of life should look like.

I’m pretty sure it’s not exactly a stage. It’s more like finally getting at the base of a mountain. Before that, you can’t really climb. But just because you started climbing, you are really not better than any other person.

It’s interesting how it’s usually the nihilist douche and the zealot who feel superior to others. If you really come to the point where you overcame nihilism and bigotry, you might realize your plights have just begun; so, why be a douche?

That’s an interesting proposition, now that I think about it. This might be the first time I realize something like that. Not sure it’s true, but it’s an interesting perspective. Sadly, it would also imply that some people might never get there. If your life is not balanced, you can’t really start a journey, can you? That’s a scary thought. What if someone never reaches the base of the mountain?

I look behind me to where I left Lucinda. Will she ever realize that? I mean, am I being too harsh? What if there’s a God and bigotry is a good thing? Well, that would be a doozy.

Like, even if I explained the problem to Lucinda, what would be her reaction?

Suppose I go up to her and say, ‘yo, you have this existential bug in your matrix, have you noticed?’

It makes me think of the guy who apparently killed himself when he got the news that his daughter had actually died. Could some people be cursed with a life of lies? Or blessed with one?

You can’t really learn how to swim if you never let go of your floater. The risk of drowning is real, but… man, this shit is so depressing. Why am I thinking about this again?

Because dear Lucinda is trying to kick my ass for—no apparent reason? Yeah. That’s probably it.

I mean, let’s take a look at it. What did I do? Did I betray her? She told me I was being an idiot and my life actually turned for the better when I didn’t listen to her. I actually, and yes, let’s put a fucking ‘actually’ to remark it, found a better life here.

Mmm.

It’s also true that if it weren’t for Ariostus, I could have gone legit-crazy. Like, real bonkers. The kind of bad bonkers without badonkers if you catch my drift.

But if I hadn’t tried to fit in, I would have been stuck rotting in a stupid tower or I’d constantly be looking for a fight, like she just did. Is that a good life? Is constant conflict something we should look for? I don’t think so.

Pastries, asses, and tiddies. That’s it. Could be the title of my mixtape. Or sex tape. You pick.

Oh, wait.

Magic, right.

I conclude that, honestly, some conflicts might be good. As with all things, some of something is always good. In certain cases, it’s even necessary. In this case? Hoes be mad. That’s the explanation. She better grow up; and let’s leave it at that.

But where am I on this scale?

Among those who chose not to care, I guess. I live—used to live a simple life. I’m dysfunctional enough not to throw myself in the huge shit-pot of life. Again, used not to do that. I guess things changed quite a bit. Also, I suppose that you can’t really enter the race to be a beyond-man if your mother has to manage pretty much every aspect of your life concerning work and paperwork. The first step for me would probably be doing my taxes without puking my last meal.

Is it better or worse than Lucinda, who is still stuck in the idol phase? Good question. Hard to answer. But how could it be worse for her? I mean, it could be worse, maybe. She could be fat.