October 20,2021- October 21,2021

"The good people can turn into the bad, and the bad can turn into the good, both subject to the same circumstances. But what if those circumstances favor only one side?"

••

I headed towards Doctor Sophia's office, distracted by the eccentric trees surrounding me. However, the distraction wasn't enough to surrender that rising fear of exposure. That bitter exposure of my vulnerability, and the sunken emotions. In what seemed like a minute or two, I was in front of the Doctor, faking a smile and waiting for her to allow my entrance.

My eyes couldn't help but notice her welcoming smile, which revealed almost all of her perfectly aligned- teeth and her dimples. Although it was rare, I immediately felt a sense of comfort around her as I felt my tensed shoulders lean. A genuine smile suddenly drew my lips, as if yearning to spill everything that buried it.

A person who radiates that sense of ease is gifted.

"Good Morning, Aryn. Please have a seat."

I sat, looking at the beauty of nature outside the transparent glass door. The gigantic trees with their old trunks seemed different, though they were the same magical trees I saw on my way. Small birdhouses were dangling from each tree, with chicks waiting eagerly for their parent to return. On the white wall behind the Doctor, there was a very thin wooden branch- barely the thickness of the bird's claw grasp. Somehow, the bluebird wasn't trying to escape despite being not caged, and not daring to chirp as if not to cause any disturbance for its owner.

"Good Evening Aryn, I'm Doctor Sophia. Before we begin, I'd like to tell you that whatever you say stays between us. I'm here to help, and not to judge. If my questions at any point in time trigger you, please stop me and have a glass of water. Deal?"

"Yes, Doctor."

"That's great. Let's begin now. First of all, what prompted you to seek therapy now?"

"My childhood wasn't the best, but there were many things I held to at the time, considering how simple life was back then. But the more I grew up, the more I lost trust in the people around me. Many continuous events occurred in the past year, and I couldn't handle any of them well because they just weren't normal. Too much for me. However, I felt empty, and numb most of the time without realizing the tolerance my body had. I collapsed suddenly, knowing that my lack of sleep and nutrition were the cause along with my mental health of course.

"And on the other hand, I can't really control them because those feelings are refusing to leave me. I want to escape from this state, and thus decided to seek this therapy now."

"And, what was it like growing up with your family? In other words, why do you think your childhood wasn't the best?"

I froze and looked deeply into her brown eyes. That fear of exposure returned, but the sense of ease she gave counteracted and I began uttering and releasing everything I once promised to kill, as the images of my young self played in my mind.

"Well, I didn't really have a family. My parents left me with my Aunt at the age of eight and abandoned me. My Aunt was all the family I had, and my love for her was infinite, to the point, where I was ready to bear the bruises her husband gave me every night or so. However, that disappeared when she suddenly died, leaving me a fifteen-year-old. That was the second transformational point in my life, after my parents' abandonment," I answered.

"Under those circumstances, have you ever thought of harming yourself or ending your life?" she calmly asked.

"I always wanted time to stop and to disappear for a few days from the world. Despite what the circumstances put me through, there was always something I still had to hold on to. But, what left a lingering bitter taste was injustice. When I went to jail forcefully and lost my job as a surgeon thus, there was nothing to hold on to. Maybe it was the first time I did want to end my life. However, I'd linger on the day I'd escape jail. Louis sent me the 'Rules of Death' book, and the journey of discovering myself began and this was another hope I held onto."

"How far did this incident impact your relationships? In other words, how connected do you feel to the people around you?"

"Well, when my Aunt died, my best friend Ellena appeared to become the support I'll lean on. A few weeks ago, my ex-fiance Ethan and his father were imprisoned for organ trafficking. They were further involved in murdering my parents. But, they left behind two girls whom I took custody over, who were also Ethan's stepsisters. I feel as though they were my children, especially since I had a strong bond with them during my years of engagement. And well," I paused.

"Take your time, there's no rush. Here's a glass of water," she gently said.

"I don't know if this counts. But I blame the kingdom for the majority of what has happened to me. Although the protectors have a really warm connection between them, I feel that there are so many boundaries between us. If I let go of this blame, I'd feel that Aunt Giana is a person to give me advice when I'm in need. And, Uncle Samuel would be the person I'd tell my problems to, considering his judgement doesn't rely on emotions. As for Louis, I'd want to know the logic behind his sophisticated thinking, "I said.

Doctor Sophia was holding her pen and paper, and recording down what her experience told her to. Maybe it was the calm atmosphere or her soothing smile or just the rare chirp of the bird, but somehow I felt that the 'toxin extraction' process already began.

I didn't feel obliged to speak, and the Doctor did not huff at my moments of pause or stutter. She would give me a paper to gather my thoughts on, and ignite that old passion I had for writing. The session was sixty minutes, and at times felt as if it was years. However, it was worth all those tears and recall of memories. For the first time in a while, I felt relaxed.

"By this, we conclude the session. I hope to see you at the next session, and it was such an honour to meet you, Aryn," Doctor Sophia said.

"Thank you very much, Doctor."

I exited from the glass door, walking to the reception. Suddenly, a young woman took me by surprise, asking me to give my name.

"A man came by and told me to give you this, claiming that his name is written on the card," the receptionist said.

I carried the red mysterious box, with an increasing sense of curiosity as my feet took each step. It was of medium size, having a white large ribbon tied at its centre.

Finally, I reached the dorm, placed the box on the bed, and sat. There was a further smaller-elegant black box, an MP3 player and a white letter probably carrying the name of the sender. Wanting to know the mysterious person, I automatically took the letter first, and flipped it. Nothing about the sender was expected. Not even his name. And when the shock overwhelmed my brain, the confusion radiated to my heart, making it skip a beat.

The sender was, Louis.

Dear Aryn,

Unfortunately, those public phones aren't the most secure, and I happened to pass by and hear you book an appointment. If you didn't open the two packages I placed, carefully place the letter beside you, for now, open them, and return to reading the rest of my humble words.

Instantly, I folded the letter back and took the MP3 player first. I put on the wired headphones and played the recording. It was a piece of pure music without lyrics, and my soul recognized its beautiful melodies before my ears did. The music was the violin I heard a few days ago, assumingly played by Aunt Giana.

The alluring 3-minute piece was played by non-other than Louis's beautiful hands. I replayed it once, twice and thrice before losing count. And each time, those three minutes were more memorable and enchanting than the previous ones. The piece didn't use any modern equipment, it was natural and relied on talent. and most of all, from deep within the heart.

However, it all came to an end when Cooper barked and jumped playfully, pulling the headphones out of my ears. It was only then that I remembered the presence of the black box and the unfinished letter. And so, I took the case and opened it. A small bulb instantly lit, onto a pearl. An orange one. The pearl of success.

I hugged Cooper tightly, smiling and letting out a scream of excitement. With the same thrill, my hands picked up the letter once more and for a moment, the universe had nothing but me and that letter.

I'm going to assume that you obeyed my words and opened the presents first.

No one, except Uncle Samuel, is aware of the true composer of the melody. He preserved the secret for sixteen years and still is, and I know that you're as trustworthy as him.

That piece would bring me peace, and some pleasant memories. For the longest time, music was the link between me and my emotions. A coping mechanism, basically.

I thought I'd give you something I composed to cope with as well, although everyone is different. Regardless, you were late that day to class, so I assumed you liked it. And yes, I pretended to be late as well, to avoid the argument. My music is irresistible, so I understood.

I've been in the kingdom for sixteen years, and teaching you was the most arduous task by far. I am not ready to do the same for another protector. Jokes aside, you're officially one of us now, and it's not easy. However, no one would be able to do it except you.

Lastly, I hope your session went well and that you enjoyed this little present.

Sincerely, Louis.

I began driving at dawn, taking the letter and the recording with me. On the way, I bought a chocolate cake for the girls. By the time I reached home, it was still early in the morning. Ellena was just leaving for work and getting ready to drop Mia at school.

Despite Ellena's hurtful glimpses and words, I excused her. When work stress is combined with worry for your loved ones, our actions change. Our worry reflects in the way we speak and feel. The way it reflects, however, is what determined true friendship. If that worry unleashed anger, and anger controlled the words, the person will eventually end the relationship. That friend is simply unworthy of any love or tears. That's what my late Aunt taught me, and I knew for a fact Ellena didn't follow that path.

"Good Morning Ellena. I'll drop Mia to school today. Just give me a minute to prepare Layla."

"No need. You must've been tired from driving."

"No, it's totally ok. Go now before you're late to work," I replied.

"Alright, no problem. Call me if you need anything. Goodbye," she said.

Mia has already finished transferring her items along with her sister's from that haunted house of her brother.. In dashing speed, I changed Layla's clothes, grabbed her bag and was soon in the car.

"Aryn, are we burdening you?" Mia asked, breaking the silence.

"Mia, what did I tell you since day one? You two are the daughters I never had. It may be a bit hard now, and I know that I'm not home for long hours but I promise it'll get better. Besides, don't you two love Ellena?"

"Yes yes of course we love her. You totally misunderstood," Mia said, as she blushed.

"Alright. We reached school. Good luck with your exam today Mia. I'm sure you'll ace it."

"Thank you, Aryn," she said, hugging me.

After reaching home, I bottle-fed Layla and put her to sleep. Waiting for Mia to come back, I cooked lunch and then began writing the draft of the research. Words are a powerful tool. If words are used for convincing they are rather dangerous. One word can break the barrier of thoughts, and lurk in the subconscious mind. It begins by thinking, then getting convinced and finally performing the action. Of course, at each stage, the words change to match the difficulty although they are synonyms at the end.

In my case, I had the task of choosing the right combination of words along with proof to implant an idea everyone excluded- the possibility of Earth surviving. I began reading literature books on persuasion. The brain would easily accept an idea based on numbers. But what if I gave the right words to hit the subconscious beforehand? It will simply want to believe in the idea before the statistics- a Hypnotism effect.

Soon after, Mia came home using the school bus and we ate. It was time for the chocolate cake, and the little surprise made Mia's eyes glow. Her smile, her gasp, and her hugs to Cooper, and her sister made it impossible to believe that she was the same girl who lived lavishly a few weeks ago.

The moon approached, and it was exactly 7:00 PM. Routinely, I drove through the same streets. There was the plain of grass under the moon's light, the gentle breeze as the wind caressed my face through the open window, and the sound of crickets chirping. None gave me the thrill anymore, except the aroma of roses, reminding me of the past.

***

It was about time for my class and as usual, the guards greeted me with stern looks. Louis was looking at his watch, raising his head when the time struck 9:30 PM. While I succeeded with the first step, the classes had to continue for further tests- which will essentially determine my position among the other protectors.

"Hey, Louis. Thank you so much for your gift," I said with a grin.

"No need to thank me. It's my pleasure," he replied.

"Let's start now. Since we're gonna argue about the topics now, let's begin by discussing the types of robots we'll be asking when each of us travels."

In the Landrocks library, there were tens of books explaining the steps of writing the research. The foundation was deciding a topic and then registering it. However, complexity begins in gathering the information. It wasn't a surprise that search engines weren't used here. But, the sources relied on travelling to different centres and gathering the required figures.

The right robots had to be asked, for there are ones purposely outdated for misleading. Even righteous robots have limits. Those limits can only be exceeded by carrying out experiments in labs, with their failures and successes. They are what determine whether the topic is applicable, or to be tossed like many others.

Technology is there to aid. But to write those research sheets is to break the boundaries of a trait some humans think they reached. However, I was ready to stand for hours in those labs, to fail hundreds of times and toss hundreds of papers, even for a small chance of reaching and convincing the kingdom.

I've already decided to ask Ellena's parents if they could welcome Mia and Layla for the week I'll be gone. They were two old people, waiting for grandchildren, to empty some of the infinite love they had. They treated Mia and Layla as their grandchildren, and old age never demolished their patience.

"Let's begin," I continued.

"Alright."

I handed him the sheets I wrote during the afternoon. As he took them, he sighed probably thinking about new ways to convince me that Earth's doom is inevitable.

"Aryn, you already know what I'm going to say, and from the daring look in your eyes, I am certain that you even prepared an entire speech as to why I should agree. However," he paused.

"I will agree on one condition," he paused.

"Can you bring me proof that the bad spirit people have will just magically disappear? That the innocent people won't be murdered, and that people won't turn into thieves due to the greed of the rich? Yes, there are good people in the world. But we're doing injustice by saving them because they can inevitably change to become monsters. They are already a few, and they may cease to exist in five years even."

I remained silent because his question was rhetorical.

"Even if there was a single good human on Earth who wouldn't change. Even if there was none at all, and we lived in absolute junk, those people at least need to die due to their actions in regret. It isn't our job to let them just die suddenly. It is ours however to at least try and save our planet. And I won't discuss this matter further with you because you don't listen to anyone but yourself!"

A minute, then another passed. Silence. He stood still, with a cold gaze, undaunted.

"Fine. We'll work on that topic," he finally replied before he left.