That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not

Ch. 1.6: That time when I was reincarnated into another world, and confronted one of the Elite Four

"What?" The well-endowed vendor asked me in completely-justified incredulity. She looked at me like I had just said something crazy, but despite the strange nature of my statement, the only thing crazy here was how much ass I was about to kick.

"The Demon Lord is attacking," I elaborated. "Invisible skeletons. You need to get to safety."

The vendor gasped, believing me instantly, and ran for cover, hauling her cart behind her. I nodded to myself, and casually swung my swords in a whirling dervish around me while I walked, in case the invisible skeletons were sneaking up on me. I made it safely to the door of the Adventurer's Guild, having only killed two civilians. I un-dervished my swords for safety reasons, as a small crowd was gathered at the doorway.

The building was massive, towering over the rest of the buildings in the square and sporting a magi-neon sign that said some bullshit in the made-up Isekai language that was probably just a substitution cipher for hiragana. After using the [Mental Dictionary] skill to translate, I discovered the sign said "Adventurer's Guild."

"This must be the Adventurer's Guild," I said out loud, to myself. "But I don't see any invisible skeletons anywh--"

"HEY, I'M WALKIN' HERE."

As I was monologuing to myself, I was rudely interrupted by a man in a track-suit rudely shoving his way past me. His eyes, the gold chains around the neck, and his extremely product-infused hair all glinted dangerously as he shot me a slimy yet somehow endearing smile with the rightmost half of his mouth. He glared at me angrily with the other half of his face, in an expression that was either extremely practiced and a testament to facial control, or the product of a stroke of some kind.

"I'm gomenasorry," I told him, giving him a quick courtesy bow. The man merely scoffed and rolled his eyes as he walked past me. I watched as he effortlessly shoved his way past the people ahead of me as well, never bothering to pull his hands out of his pockets, simply shoulder-checking them as easily as he strode. He must have had the [Advanced Swagger] skill. Curious, I decided to appraise him to find out his appraisal results, using my appraisal skill: [Appraise (but secretly infinite knowledge)].

The results appeared to me in a cool RPG menu, hovering over my vision as part of my [Status HUD] Cell Phone Arts. I skimmed through his status:

Name: Skeletony Cornea

Active Title: [Elite Four]

Faction: Demon Lord's Army

Race: Skeleton

Level: 54

EXP: 7259/15000

Skill Points: 50

Gold Stars: 2

Gacha Coins: 36

HP: 4250/4250

MP: 155/215

SP: 1050/1200

FP: 3/3

Attributes:

Stranth: 198

Dexterity: 150

Swoleness: 175

Magic: 72

Karma: -1285

Mojo: 6500

Luck: 55

Skills:

[Jumping Mastery - Lvl 3] [Swagger Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Advanced Swagger] [Running Basics - Lvl 9] [Climbing Mastery - Lvl 2] [Crawling Basics - Lvl 2] [Swimming Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Motorboat Legs] [Cooking Supremacy - Lvl 3] [Punching Super-Resistance Lvl 2] [Slashing Super-Resistance Lvl 6] [Stabbing Invulnerability] [Vulnerability - Light] [Vulnerability - Pineapple Pizza] [Shame Invulnerability] [Stubbornness Lvl 6] [Greater Swordsman Lvl 4] [Stunning Slash] [Skeleton Command] [Skeleton Cloak] [Skeleton Warp] [Skeletal Form] [Disguise Lvl 5] [Steal] [Greater Skeleton Magic] [Lesser Dark Magic]

Spells:

[Summon Skeleton Lvl 10]

[Summon Tons of Fucking Skeletons Lvl 6]

[Bone Zone Lvl 5]

[Skeleton Sword Lvl 3]

[Darkbolt Lvl 2]

Titles:

[Elite Four] [Skeleton Lord] [Italian] [Swordsman] [Villain] [Human Killer] [Iron Chef] [Demon Lord's General] [Bully] [Thief]

I frowned at his status. Something about it struck me as odd... He was certainly pretty powerful. Far too powerful to be in a starter town, for one thing. For another thing... some of those skills were awfully suspicious. Why would he need five levels in [Disguise]? Could he be hiding who he was right now?

I scrutinized the man as he casually sent a hot, big-titty elf archer staggering to one side with a casual shoulder-check. I furrowed my brows. This guy... he was a real piece of work.

"Hey, you there!" I shouted. "Choutto hold on a second!"

The man stopped in mid-stride and spun on his heel, rotating in place like 3d model before setting his lifted foot down in my direction.

"Ehhhhhh?" He droned, staring at me maliciously, an aura of darkness manifesting around him. "You talkin' to me?"

I nodded to him. I'd have to approach this carefully. This was the adventurer's guild, the home of people who fight and die in the pursuit of money and fame. If this guy really was dangerous, I couldn't risk putting them in harm's way.

"Are you..." I began, "a bad guy?"

"No."

"Very well," I nodded, "I'm sorry for stopping you."

The man started to turn back to his rude, violent, but also kinda badass walk cycle. However, something nagged me from the back of my head, and I knew I couldn't just leave it at that.

"Oh yeah, one more thing..." I muttered, loud enough for him to hear.

He turned and shot me a dirty look, filled with so much malice that it might have killed me on the spot if not for my [Emotional Damage Invulnerability] .

"Does your momma know that you're a bad guy?" I asked.

"No," he replied. A beat passed, and his eyes bugged out of his head as realization struck home. I grinned a smile; I had caught him.

"I-I mean... I mean, she knows I'm not a bad guy," he stammered. But it was too late. I had already used my [Mind Cell Phone] to call the cops, and they were tearing around the corner on their horses, hooves sparking as they slid in an inertia drift. Their [Sirens] were blaring as the closest one leapt from his horse, drawing his spear and cocking it as he brought it to bear.

"[Police Cops!]" he announced as he rolled to his feet. "Hands in the air."

Skeletony and the rest of the adventurers put their hands in the air, and I did so as well, because the cool kids were doing it and I didn't want to feel left out.

"Which one of you is the bad guy?" he asked.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Skeletony was too fast, too wily for me to have anticipated.

"That guy," he said, pointing at me. I gasped internally, then gasped externally as the police cop did a flaming dragon drop-kick into my solar plexus, knocking the wind from my stomach, which is my understanding of how anatomy works.

I rolled on the ground, groaning breathlessly, as he tossed a net over my face. My mind was reeling. Damn it, Kamiko! This is exactly what I'd been worrying about. What good were my paltry skills when I couldn't even win to a Police Cop?! While I should have had [Absolute Invulnerability], he'd used his special skills, and...

"You are under arrest," he informed me. "You have no rights to speak of."

I was still far too weak without a proper cheat skill. I was going to go to jail, and I could do nothing as I watched Skeletony smirking at me as he faded violently into the crowd. I... I had to do something! He was going to get away, and thanks to a slip of his tongue, I'd confirmed that he was, in fact, the one responsible for attacking the Guild.

If I didn't stop him, then... then... I clenched my eyes shut as the Police Cops took a [Commemorative Photo], dangling me by the legs and posing with me as if I were a fish they had just caught. I had to... I had to...

Suddenly, I felt of burst of light inside my skull, and I heard Kamiko's voice echo through my head, but it sounded like she'd made it into text-to-speech or else was voice-cosplaying as a robot. This must be the [World System]! I craned my ears into my skull to listen to the words as they appeared before my eyes:

Skill Gained: [Arrest Resistance - Lvl 1]

Looks like things were about to get interesting...