For a moment, the only thing we can do is lay still. Humans are behind every corner, and we ourselves are left undiscovered by the grace of Yeezus!

Silent and without complaint, we detangle ourselves as we creep under the yellow torchlight and to either side of the walkway. Dagger and I take point on the right and left flanks, respectively, and Spoon’s eyes glow, ready to throw death spells.

I peer out and see a human… asleep. Snoring actually. I look at Dagger, and he makes the motion for “sleepy human,” rocking his head between collapsed hands, and points to himself. I know what he means, so I shake my head, but Dagger takes his thumb and slides it against his throat. I mouth the words “NO!” with a big emphasis on the word ‘NO’ while Spoon watches our back-and-forth with nervous curiosity.

For a while, we sit there, but eventually, Dagger gives up on stabbing the human guards in their sleep. I can’t say I’m not tempted to take this opportunity to level up, but—

A sleeping human can easily become an awake human.

An awake human is an alert human.

We are in a city full of humans!

It’s better to be never seen, never noticed, and, most importantly, never there than to chase EXP. I put my hand on Dagger’s shoulder and mouth, “Thank you,” before pointing my party to where I think the exit should be.

I hope so.

Staying low, we make our way to the left side of the walkway and past a bench of sleeping soldiers. Their faces are covered by round helmets with pointy spikes on top. Their armor hangs loosely on the pair, as if intentionally undone, no doubt for better napping as they snore softly. Again I resist the urge to take advantage of the helpless humans; the raider part of me salivates over the amount of XP their deaths would grant, while the thief in me screams at the inherent danger of crawling past humans, knowing how lightly they can sleep, aware of how easily they can spring to action. And how fast our deaths would be if they did. It’s nerve-wracking. Spoon and I are on all fours while Dagger, bringing up the rear, has his blade at the ready in case the worst happens. Prayers to Jeezus it doesn’t come to that!

The walkway is lined with small torches that shed some light but plunge enough ground into shadows. We hug the walls as we move slowly and inch closer and closer toward a door that has to be the entrance of the guard tower. More humans could be inside and, worse, alert other humans, but the plan doesn’t require us to open that door, which we hope remains closed. Instead, we’ll climb down the side of the wall.

Control Fall Maneuver.

The plan is simple. It’s genius and foolproof. We fall down. But not just fall; we climb fall, using the weird angle afforded to us between the guard tower and the wall, a glorious crevice that can fit goblins as we slide (another word for control fall) down. It’s certainly better than simply running to the opposite side of the walkway and dropping down!

We pass the bench of sleeping humans and pick up our pace toward the edge of the wall, where the walkway meets the tower. The building itself is imposing and conjures images of ferocious humans raining down death in the form of steel-tipped arrows and boiling fire water down on unsuspecting defenders. How many goblins would it take to “raid” just the wall itself? A hundred? A thousand? A zillion? Goblin corpses would be piled higher than the moon just to spill past the walls and into the heart of the human town.

But forget that. Our party of thieves is making it into this stone village one way or another! Only a several-foot fall separates us from boundless treasures!

We cross from one side of the wall to the other, and now we’re peering over the edge and out into the city below.

“Wow,” whispers Spoon, her eyes glowing with magic and wonder, while Dagger simply whistles, a high yet soft tune that reminds me of the first time Dagger laid eyes on a cow.

But me? I can only smile. Only a short fall away from stealing on a level that hasn’t been done in generations! How could I not be excited, if not out of my mind with fear! Goblins are indeed SUPREME!

Well, until the door opens behind us, knocking all three of us over the wall and down into the ground below. We go from awestruck to screaming as we tumble over the wall, and I hear the humans that opened the door say, “Well fuck, they’re sleeping on our favorite bench!” as our shouts of surprise betray us—

NO! They can’t hear us! The system can’t announce that they’ve knocked us across the room! We can’t be discovered! Not like this! NOT LIKE THIS!

But our voices escape our mouths, surprise and shock propelling us forward! We’re going to scream! And the System?

Spoon has ta-

And my mind freezes the world and reaches for something deep inside myself.

Thief Skill unlocked

Thief Skill Stealthy Goblin Learned

And without hesitation, I cast it 3 times-