Hestia

The Hestia Space Program ends on August 12th, when Hestia 8 breaches through the atmosphere and lands on the designated platform. From its belly, five astronauts emerge, drenched in the yellow, summer light. One of them staggers, pushing away the group of people gathered on the platform, to kneel on the nearest patch of grass, putting her hands on the ground and then kissing it repeatedly. Home. She's finally home. The moment is immortalized in photos that will soon travel across the world but the woman doesn't care. She keeps kissing the hard soil. When the medical team tries to help her up, she pushes them away. One of the other astronauts joins her on the ground, wraps an arm around her and kisses her hair. Indeed, they're home. It's been 5 years.

-

The name of the astronaut is Sadie Peterson and she's one of the five survivors of the Hestia 8 mission. Her sister, Lori, waits for her in a white, cold waiting room, turning the pages of a fashion magazine, her nails bitten down and bleeding. The woman at the desk looks at her sadly, averting her gaze every time Lori tries to catch her eye. Please talk to me, she thinks hopelessly, but she doesn't say anything. Soon, the door opens and the tired form of her sister makes its way towards her. The woman at the desk looks at them as Lori stands up and embraces Sadie. They do this silently but both of them tremble; together since the womb, this is the longest they have been apart.

Lori weeps as she presses her palms to Sadie's cheeks. Her face, her familiar face, changed through time, hardened. When they were little, it was impossible to tell them apart, their same dark skin, their black eyes, their curly hair. Identical. Not anymore. As she looks at Sadie she can already tell; they're different now. Too different. So many things happened to Sadie up there, she'll never be the same.

"Lori," she says, and her voice sounds familiar. Small mercies. "Let's get out of here".

"Yeah", says Lori and embraces her again. "Yeah".

-

When they get home, the house is empty. Lori turns on the light and the living room comes to life in all its messy glory. There are clothes tossed to the ground, empty bottles gathered on the couch, crumbled papers and rubbish everywhere. Sadie stills. She's not the only one who changed after all.

"Mark isn't home?" she asks finally because she doesn't know what else to say.

"We broke up," answers Lori as she moves to the kitchen and gets them both a cup of water.

"Ah". Sadie drinks the water, then she gingerly puts her bag on the ground. She turns around, checks the corridor a last time- no one's there - and closes the door, locks thrice. Before Lori can stop her, she walks to the other side of the room and, through the curtains, peeks at the road; no one's out there either. She does the same for the rest of the windows and then returns to her bag.

"Why did you do that?" Asks Lori, still sipping her glass. "You were like that in the car too. Nobody's following you".

"You don't know that," Sadie bites back. "I - " her hand rests on the bag, next to the zipper, she plays a little bit with it, looking at Lori, then back at the bag. She knows she can trust her with this, but.... But. She exhales. No. This is her sister, she's not going to betray her, she knows this.

"I need to show you something," she says slowly.

Lori opens her mouth, then closes it. She nods. Sadie opens the zipper. Very slowly, she puts her hands inside the bag and takes out the little creature. He's scared, she can tell by the way he has his head between his front legs, trembling. He's as small as her palm. That's how she managed to get him through security. His body is gooey, cold to the touch and a vivid green color, unearthly. Sadie cradles him close to her chest and looks back at her sister who has her mouth a little open, looking puzzled.

"You can't tell anyone, Lori", she says, pleadingly. "If they learn about him, they're going to take him away".

"Sadie- " says Lori, taking a step forward.

"No", she stops her, firmly. "Listen to me. He can survive on Earth's atmosphere, he's been living on the space ship for 3 years. He eats human food. And - and, I have to protect him, you know? If they find him, they're going to take him away and experiment on him and make him suffer. We can't let them take him away, okay? We can't!"

She must have started sounding hysterical because Lori runs towards her and takes her face in her palms. "We won't", she says firmly. "It's okay. We will take care of him. Calm down now".

With that, Sadie realizes she's been crying. She moves her head forward and presses her face to her sister's blouse. She can feel the sobs tearing through her body as she continues chanting "We can't. We can't." and Lori hugs her, kissing her hair.

"What's his name?" she asks after a while, her voice soft and slow, as if she's speaking to a child.

"Imen," answers Sadie.

Lori blinks. "That's a female name".

Pressing him closer to her chest, Sadie smiles. "He likes it."

-

The Hestia mission started on August 12th, exactly 5 years ago, as a space mission to explore deep space. It was scheduled to last ten years. During their first year of travel, an explosion tore a significant part of the ship apart after some technical malfunction, instantly killing half of the all-female crew. The rest of the astronauts used one of the small, cramped safety ships to return to earth in inhumane conditions. The trip back home lasted four years.

The safety ship had no way of communication with Earth, so for the first two years, before a satellite caught view of the ship, the official story was that the Hestia ship was utterly destroyed, leaving no survivors. For two years, Lori thought her sister was dead.

Now she looks at her, the hero, the survivor, curled up at the bed, sleeping soundly with her arms wrapped around her torso. It's like a dream, having her there, the most beautiful of dreams. Her dead sister coming back to life. With a last fond look, she closes the door silently and goes back inside the living room, getting her phone from the table. There aren't a lot of messages; she has lost touch with most of her friends in the last couple of years. Years of mourning turned waiting, longing. Mark has sent her a message though. She feels immense guilt as she opens it; she destroyed his life with her suffering too. He asks about Sadie in his message, if she's okay. Lori thinks back to this afternoon, her sister perched on the bag, unzipping it to reach inside. She's okay, she answers and then thanks him. She pours wine into a mug. Everything's going to be okay.

-

Sadie makes breakfast. She fries eggs and mixes a salad, pours orange juice into two cups and then wakes her sister up. Lori blinks, sensitive to the morning light and she grunts while getting up from the couch. She's still in her yesterday's clothes, notes Sadie, something red spilled on her trousers.

"What time is it?" Lori asks, stretching.

"Six."

"Six?"

Sadie nods.

"Why the hell would you-" Lori stops mid sentence. They used to talk like that, shouting at each other all the time, witty comebacks on their lips, but it doesn't feel right now. So she swallows the rest of the sentence and follows Sadie to the kitchen.

They sit in silence as they eat their breakfast. Sadie eats like a person who has never eaten before, she uses her fingers, stuffs her mouth, juice is dripping from her chin. Her stomach has felt so empty during the last couple of years; the portions during their trip back home were small and tasteless. When the ship exploded they didn't have time to pack all of their supplies. Most of them were destroyed during the explosion anyway, and she always had to share with Imen. Now he feeds him yolk with her fingertips. He licks them clean and opens his mouth, asking for more.

"I think he likes eggs," Sadie says.

Lori's looking at her, at her hands. She shakes her head and continues eating.

"I'll give him some juice," Sadie continues. She takes the box and taps him lightly on the head.

"Open your mouth, baby." And when he complies she says "Yayyy" happily and pours some juice into his mouth. Lori watches her sadly as Imen drinks it all and coos.

"I love him so much," says Sadie and kisses his head. "He's the only thing that kept me sane up there."

Lori nods and wipes her face with a napkin, before turning to Sadie.

"Do you want to go for a walk?"

Sadie looks down at Imen, scratching at his ear.

"I don't know," she says. "I don't want to leave him alone."

"Okay," says Lori and leaves it at that.

-

There was even a burial ceremony and everything. Sadie's grave was nestled under a huge oak tree, with roots so big they were coming out of the soil, creating a sort of natural bench Lori could sit on every time she would visit. She visited every day. After the telephone call that announced her sister was alive, the grave was taken down and now in its place stands a new grave.

It's been a month since Sadie's return when Lori visits the oak tree again. She sits there, caressing the bark thinking about Sadie, thinking about their childhood. The light shines on the warm marble of the grave, not so different from the one her sister laid in (the thought of her sister - there was no actual body). If she takes off her glasses and with the world blurred, she can still imagine this is Sadie's grave.

The sound of footsteps startles her. She spins around and gets momentarily blinded by the light, then scrambles to put on her glasses. Mark stands there, drenched in light, his white t-shirt shining under the sun and his eyes seem as kind as ever.

Lori weeps.

-

"I'm so sorry I'm bringing you into this. I- " she swallows. Her keys feel cold inside her grasp. "I don't know what to do. I- "

"Lori," Mark cuts her off, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Don't be sorry. I'm here for you. Always."

She shakes her head. It's difficult now, just to look him in the eye, it's so goddamn difficult. All this guilt, all this pain, it's nestled deep inside her body, she doesn't know what to do with all these dark, horrible feelings. And he's so kind. He's always been so kind.

"I-"

"It's okay, Lori, baby" he smiles at her. "Open the door".

Her grasp shakes as she fumbles with the keys, trying to find the one that fits. Mark's finger close around her own and he squeezes encouragingly. "Come on sweetheart," he says. Lori swallows.

When he opens the door, Sadie is there, in a dress drenched in juice and food, slowly pouring water into her lap. Her head snaps towards the door.

"Lori -" she starts saying and stops when her eyes meet Mark and his huge, towering body. She looks at them, her eyes widening with horror and then, she starts screaming.

-

Imen is curled up on the carpet, wailing while Sadie barricades the door. She pushes the bed in front of it, using all the power she has to turn it upside down. It's not much use, she knows they're only stalling, postponing the inevitable. There must be dozens of them out there now and she can't fend them all off. She moves on all fours towards the spot Imen sits and she takes him into her embrace. She won't let them hurt him. No! She won't! He belongs to her, she has to protect him.

"Sadie," she can hear Lori's voice through the door, the thump thump of her fist on the wood. "Please, Sadie, open the door."

"No!" she shouts back. "I can't. They'll take Imen away."

"Sadie, please, listen to me," she sounds desperate. Deep down, Sadie can't blame her for this, her betrayal. Maybe they forced her to do this. Maybe. "This is Mark. Mark, my ex. You remember Mark."

"Don't lie to me," Sadie shouts back, hugging Imen tighter.

"Sadie please, open the door."

"No! He's going to hurt Imen."

"Sadie." Lori is crying now, she can hear her sobs. "Imen's not real Sadie. Please open the door".

A buzzing sound starts ringing in her ears, adrenaline is pumping through her body. She kisses Imen, his skin cold then warm then cold. She's shaking so much it's hard to land the kisses on his head and he's grabbing at her with his feet, whispering her name. Sadie. Sadie. Sadie. Help. Sadie. Help me. Sadie. A deep guttural sound like an animal drowning. Sadie. She can hear voices through the door. Someone says "I'm going in." A man. Sadie screams.

-

Lori sits on the kitchen table. The soft afternoon breeze wafts in through the window, ruffling her hair gently. A cup of warm tea sits in her palms. Lying there, before her, is a piece of paper, an article cut out of the newspaper. She touches it tenderly, turns it around to look at the picture: a group of ten women, embracing for the camera, their smiles as bright as the sun. August 12th.

Imen Ahmad was the captain of the Hestia 8 mission, a beautiful young woman with smart eyes and a kind smile. Sadie hasn't been able to fully recollect the events of the explosion but the doctors suspect she was there to watch Imen die. One of the other crew members shared with Lori that Imen and Sadie were lovers during that first year. A tragedy indeed.

Lori looks at them now, pressed close together in the photo. Her sister's face flashed with happiness, just a few minutes away from the mission of a lifetime. Lori caresses her face through the photo, smiles softly and then flips it over. A list of ten names. She reads them all. It's only been 5 years, she thinks and sips her tea. 5 years. What a difference they make.

THE END