“King Den! King Den, King Den! Teacher Flori! You’re back!”

Although excited shouts rang out in all directions, Taila reached the procession first. She’d been “helping” Mistress Jek weed, i.e. collecting any flowering weeds her mother pulled out of the ground and replanting them. But at the sight of Den and Floridiana, she charged out of the vegetable patch and down Persimmon Tree Lane as fast as her legs would carry her.

“Jek Taila! You get back here right this instant!”

The harassed mother dropped her trowel and raced after her daughter.

“King Den!” Taila remembered my training just long enough to bob a bow. Then she launched herself at the dragon. “You greeeeew!”

That was when I realized that the little dragon had gotten bigger. It wasn’t obvious at a glance because he was dwarfed by that monstrous wild boar spirit, but he was nearly as tall as Floridiana now. Where once he’d been at eye level with Taila when he rose onto his hind legs and stretched to full height, now her arms only went around his waist. (Granted, he was a dragon, so it was a very long waist.)

“Yep, I certainly grew! I can shrink too. See?” Den announced, sounding as cheery and inane as he did during parties.

With a pop, he was back to his original size. Taila’s arms encircled empty air. She, too, had grown in the nine months that he’d been away.

After a moment, he returned to his new normal size.

“Heeee is still tinyyyy,” pronounced the wild boar. His voice rumbled through the ground and rattled the bamboo.

Never one to be intimidated by, well, anything, Taila tilted her head all the way back so she could stare up into his face. “No, Mr. Pig, you’re huge!”

Everyone sucked in a breath, from Den and Floridiana, to the rock macaque soldiers within earshot, to Stripey, Bobo, and me at the top of the bamboo stand. Any second now, that wild boar was going to snap Taila up and toss her down his gullet and murder her before my very eyes and I couldn’t do a single thing to stop him –

In a burst of speed, Mistress Jek knocked her daughter out of the way. The mother landed with a thud at the wild boar’s front hooves. Taila went flying off to the side of the road, where she struck a patch of wild grasses, rolled to a stop, and started to cry.

At the same time, Floridiana was opening her mouth while Den was waving his arms in that universal “No, no, please wait!” gesture. Then –

“I haaaave never been called a piiiig before.”

“Please forgive my daughter! Please forgive my daughter!” cried Mistress Jek, genuflecting and banging her forehead against the ground. “She’s too young to know better! She’s only seen pigs before! Never anyone as – as – mighty as you!”

The wild boar turned his head to survey the countryside. “I should liiiike to see these ‘piiiigs’ of which you speak. I, toooo, have never seeeen a pig.”

Probably for the best. I wasn’t sure he would appreciate the comparison.

Now that the crisis was over, Floridiana sighed, walked over to Taila, bent down, and started simultaneously scolding the girl for her ill manners and coaxing her to calm down. It worked about as well as you’d expect.

“Of course! Of course!” cried Mistress Jek. “We’d be honored if you’d come see our pig, my lord spirit!”

Showing more courage than I was used to seeing out of him, Den inserted himself between her and the wild boar. “While I am sure that Lord Magnissimus would very much appreciate a tour of the farm, first we must pay our respects to the Emissary from Heaven.” He stressed the last words, reminding both the wild boar and the rock macaque leader of their duties.

The wild boar snorted and stamped, and the rock macaque’s thick lips twisted down. I could have told Den that the way to impress demons was not to remind them of our Heavenly overlords. He wielded a surprising amount of control over them, though. They let him keep talking.

“Allow me to perform the introductions. Lord Magnissimus, Captain Rock, this is Mistress Jek Lom Vannia. She is a close friend of Mage Floridiana. Mistress Jek, these are Lord Magnissimus and Captain Rock. Captain Rock is the vassal of King Haplor, who has generously sent these troops to assist us in defeating the catfish demon of Black Sand Creek.”

His proclamation rang through the air. What did you know? After nine months with Floridiana, Den had picked up some of her grandiose speech patterns.

In the distance, a human knight who was shadowing the procession reined up to observe these proceedings. I took a closer look at his insignia. He was one of Baron Claymouth’s vassals.

Mistress Jek got back to her feet, knocked the dust off her skirts, and bowed low to the two demons. Captain Rock saluted her. Lord Magnissimus snuffled at her hair.

After taking a moment to realize that it wasn’t a prelude to biting off her head, Mistress Jek stammered, “Be – be welcome. Upon these lands.”

After so much time with me, she could mimic my formal speech patterns to some degree. Unfortunately, she didn’t seem to know where to go from there. Well, time for the expert to take over.

I said to the back of Stripey’s head, Let’s go.

He nodded. “As good a time as any. See you down there, Bobo.”

And, to my horror, he started gliding down towards the road.

Hey! Where are you going?!

“To say hi, of course. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

No no no! I do not go to them. They need to come to me! Stripey’s feathers were starting to ruffle at what he thought was unnecessary arrogance, so I explained my logic: Otherwise, why would they respect a turtle?

Although I expected an argument, Stripey was better versed in politics than I’d given him credit for. “Oh, right, makes sense. Where should we set up your throne then, milady?”

I barely had to consider it. For this crucial first meeting, I needed the grandest setting I could beg, borrow, or commandeer. In all the barony, there was only one place that might do.

At the castle. Fly me to the castle, I instructed. Then I called up into the cloudless sky, Flicker! Flicker! I need your help!

By the time the clerk appeared, Stripey and I were already approaching the ramparts of Baron Claymouth’s castle. Glowing gold motes materialized on the winds and coalesced into a familiar figure. Below us, humans pointed and yelled, and a pagegirl sprinted for the keep.

Flicker didn’t pay them any attention. He was too busy scowling at me.

“What is it this time? Look, Pi– ” He gulped back the rest of the name, darted a glance at Stripey, remembered that the duck had been around when he let it slip last time, and ranted, “Piri, you can’t just keep calling on me! It’s the middle of the workday! Sooner or later, someone’s going to launch an investigation, and that is not going to be healthy for any of us and – what in the name of the Jade Emperor is THAT?”

He’d finally noticed the columns of marching rock macaques led by an even larger rock macaque, a wild boar, a mage, and a dragon king, followed by a lot of excited civilians and an antsy-looking knight. The embodiment of observation skills, our Flicker.

THAT is the reason I called on you. I sent King Densissimus Imber and Mage Floridiana into the Wilds to absorb magical power so they could fight Lord Silurus –

“You did WHAT?”

I shrugged. They needed more power. It was the fastest way for them to gain it. Anyway, they appear to have recruited allies –

“From the WILDS?”

Yes. Well, actually, I don’t know yet. That’s one of the things I intend to ask them, which is why I need you to help me impress them. Otherwise, they won’t obey me.

Flicker’s eyes were glued to Lord Magnissimus and Captain Rock. “I – they’re – but – you’re trying to do WHAT?” He peeled his eyes off them and glued them to me instead.

I didn’t repeat myself. After all, he was the one who’d told me that if I wanted to earn enough positive karma to advance to Black Tier, then I needed to kill Lord Silurus.

And indeed, after a moment, he sighed. His golden light wavered. In a tiny voice, he confirmed, “This is because of what I said? Last time?”

Yep.

His whole body was sagging and caving in on itself now. “I see.” And then he muttered something that sounded vaguely like, “Thought she was getting better,” which made absolutely no sense.

Before I could demand that he explain, Stripey interjected, “It’s not only for the positive karma. We’re also doing it so Lord Silurus will stop eating the people of Claymouth and all the fiefs that border Black Sand Creek. To make it safe for them. Especially for Taila.” He craned his neck to shoot me a glare. “Not that she’d ever tell you that. Heaven forbid that she admits that she actually cares about people.”

Hmph. That was because caring about people was so pedestrian.

But for some reason, Stripey’s accusation made Flicker perk up. “Oh, I see! Well, in that case…what do you want me to do?”

Ha. Got him.

I need to make a strong first impression on everyone, otherwise all they’re going to see is a weird, talking turtle. I want you to hold me up and glow as brightly as you can while I address them. We’re going to do it in the castle courtyard.

“Uh….” Flicker was getting cold feet already. “Um, Piri, this isn’t exactly subtle…. Someone in Heaven is definitely going to notice.”

We can deal with that later. Let’s kill Lord Silurus first and worry about the rest later.

As we swooshed down towards the castle courtyard, Flicker plucked me from Stripey’s back and cupped me in his palms. The rush of wind was near-deafening, but I still caught his mutter: “I’m pretty sure that worrying about the rest later is what got you in trouble last time.”

Stripey heard him too. “It’s okay, she’s a lot better than she used to be,” he reassured the clerk.

I ignored both of them. Don’t land. Hover, hmmm, fifteen feet in the air so everyone can see us.

When we came to a stop midair, the people scurrying around the courtyard all stopped to gawk. That greedy baron arrived at a waddle, hiding behind his retainers and frowning to hide his fear. (Like that would work.) Women’s heads peeked out a window halfway up the keep – his wife and daughters, barred from the courtyard for their own safety but unwilling to miss the fun.

Repeat after me, I whispered to Flicker. “People of the Claymouth Barony, rejoice!”

After a confused blink, as if he had no idea what the people of the Claymouth Barony had to rejoice over, Flicker opened his mouth and proclaimed, “People of the Claymouth Barony, rejoice!”

“For your salvation is at hand.”

“For your salvation is at hand!”

It was a shame that his voice was on the reedy side, but I could tell that Flicker made an impressive sight. He stood upon the air and pulsed, casting rays of light across the stone walls. The upturned faces filled with awe, and then everyone was dropping to their knees and genuflecting.

Ah, all these people kneeling before me. It felt good. It felt like coming home.

“Heaven has heard your pleas for rescue from the attacks of the demon catfish and, in its infinite mercy, has sent an army to your assistance.”

My lips curled on the words, but Flicker repeated them without irony. “Heaven has heard your pleas for rescue from the attacks of the demon catfish and, in its infinite mercy, has sent an army to your assistance!”

Now a thrill ran through the courtyard. Whispers rose from the crowd, growing in intensity. “Lord Silurus – ” “An army – ” “Help from Heaven!” “Heaven is on our side!” “Heaven!” “Heaven!” “Heaven!”

For a second – just a split second – I wondered how else I could use this passion. Could I harness it to seize control of the barony, and then the fiefs around it, and eventually the capital of East Serica itself? Could I exploit it to reunify all of Serica so I could rule a new empire?

Maybe. Probably.

But I’d ruled an empire already. Been there, done that, got the execution and undying fame for it.

More interesting to focus on this new goal I’d set myself: killing Lord Silurus to make the barony safe for Taila, the Jeks, their neighbors, and all future students of the academy we had founded. Yes, this was definitely better.

All of that flashed through my mind, so fast that the humans never noticed a pause in Flicker’s speech.

Okay. Now look at the baron and bid him rise. That’s the baron. I pointed him out, in case it wasn’t obvious.

On his own initiative, Flicker rotated midair and floated forward a couple feet. “Baron Claymouth. Rise.”

The baron heaved himself to his feet and bowed deeply. “O noble Heavenly lord, I am honored beyond words!”

I’d bet no one had ever addressed the clerk as “noble Heavenly lord” before, but Flicker accepted it with a dignified nod. I didn’t even have to prompt him.

All right. Tell him: “I must return to Heaven, but I leave you all this Emissary. Obey her words, for through her you shall know the will of Heaven.” Then hold me up so everyone knows you mean me.

Flicker flung up his arms with me cupped in his palms as if he were presenting a newborn Crown Princess to the adoring masses. “People of Claymouth! I must return to Heaven, but I leave you this Emissary! Obey her, for through her words you shall know the will of Heaven!” Out of the corner of his mouth, under the cheers that echoed throughout the courtyard, he muttered, “The will of Heaven? Seriously?”

Yes, seriously. No, don’t repeat that! I yelped when he started to open his mouth.

He gave me an offended glare. “Wasn’t going to. Now what?”

I smiled back. My goal for this speech had been twofold: to win the support of the people of Claymouth – and to kill time.

Tramping feet were now approaching the castle, shaking the flagstones. Through the gate marched Den and Floridiana, flanked by Mistress Jek, Master Jek, and Taila on their right, and Bobo, Master Gravitas, and Master Rattus on their left.

It was my taskforce.

My taskforce had arrived, at the head of an army.

Tell the baron: “Now let us welcome the army that has come to save you.”

Flicker lowered his arms. Holding me before his chest, he shouted, “People of Claymouth, rejoice! See the army that has come to save you!”

A roar rose from the crowd. All over the courtyard, people were whooping and clapping and bursting into tears and flinging their hats into the air. With a final bow to Flicker and me, the baron rushed forward to welcome the army.

Well, that should stop him from rent-gouging the Jeks ever again.