It’s been a while since I left on my grand journey to go back home. Back when I first came to this world, I was pretty ecstatic about it, expecting the experience to be similar to stories like Re:Zero or KonoSuba, but in reality everything is just… a lot more bland in comparison. Where are all the cute girls that are supposed to constantly be surrounding me? The whacky adventure’s I go on daily just to get enough money and gear to power up and become super OP? There’s none of that here!

In fact, when I first got transported here, I was pretty much left completely in the dark. No goddess showed up to give me a blessing or show me the ropes, everyone thought I was a madman when I told them about my predicament… It was a real mess, I tell you! Heck, the people of Cardina are considered one of, if not the kindest people in the world, but even they gave me the cold shoulder, leading to me having to go about things my own incorrect way. The universal language of this world is thankfully English, or Entropic as they put it, just like back on Earth. If I had to learn a whole new language just to get around, I’d probably just give up from the start.

After wandering about for as long as my phone battery lasted, I finally made my way to what was apparently the center of the continent. Over there I heard talks about a kind and generous Royal Family who helped lost folks like me. This is it, I thought, this is where the cute girls and over-powered upgrades lay! As such, I wandered into their Castle Grounds without a care in the world, only to be immediately stopped by the guards.

The whimpy Prince showed up with a cute maid in tow, called me some names, then told me to leave before things got messy. Yeah, not what I had expected at all. But hey, the cute maid that was following him around showed interest in my situation and told me to follow her home. Heh, I knew the ‘Isekai Main Character’ charm flowed through my veins! Welcome to the harem, Marina! …Or not, since she immediately introduced me to Lune Grimheart, the guy she was living with (and was showing obvious signs of having feelings for him).

I was a bit bummed that I’d stay a virgin for another day longer, but after I got to know Lune, I immediately knew why Marina had called me over in the first place. This guy’s what you’d call a “Hopeless Romantic”, wanting something unreal. The only thing is, what he’s seeking isn’t unreal, at least not in the world that I come from. Thus, he was super happy to have me work with him in inventing all sorts of things foreign to him but all too familiar to me.

This isn’t to say that he’s all talk, either. He’s a lot more literate than anyone from the tavern we frequented, he’s multilingual (or at least he’s trying to be multilingual), and he already has the logic down for most of the inventions from my world. Thanks to me, he’ll definitely become someone that the world will remember. Well, at least his Sol persona will, since he’s apparently hiding from the adventurer’s guild I’m currently working for.

He said the whole place is corrupt to the core, and is also the reason he got separated from his daughter and wife back home. I’m not really a political person, all I do is accept their easier commissions and they give me my money, nothing more to it. If they’re doing some shady work and wronging people, I sure as hell couldn’t care less, since they’ve been treating me well so far.

In any case, a lot of things happened back then, but it all ultimately fell apart after I told Lune about my plans to go back home after gifting him a present for his birthday. His mental state back then was less than optimal, to say the least, so he really didn’t like the idea of me leaving his side just yet, and lashed out so much he almost burnt me to a crisp. I’ve known him for quite some time now, so I know for a fact that he didn’t mean anything bad towards me with that action. He’s probably just as confused about the world around him as I am, and everyone could see that the stress that was piling up in his soul finally made him snap.

I snuck out and ran away all the way to the south of Meridia, where my first destination, The Tower of Currents, stood tall above all else in its vicinity. My goal was to touch each and every World Wonder here, of which there were six, if I ever wanted to go back home. With my heart beating faster than ever, I touched the outside wall of the Tower, and promptly began walking back to the transport wagon, only for the (young female) driver with snow white hair to inform me about it a bit more.

“If your goal is to touch each World Wonder, then I’m afraid that won’t be enough.” She warned.

“Mind your own business, lady. Just what do you know about my goals?”

“Seriously? That’s literally the only thing you’ve blabbered on about the entire ride here! I’m just saying, you seem like a foreigner, so I just wanted to let you know that the walls of the Tower don’t actually count as the Tower. It’s the artifacts inside it that make it a World Wonder.”

“Is that so?” I chuckled, “So in order to fulfill my goal, you’re telling me to steal an artifact from all of the World Wonders?”

“Yeah, why not?” She nodded, “You’ll see when you enter the place, but there’s an almost infinite supply of artifacts all with a wide variety of uses to them. It’s practically become known as a gift shop for travelers and adventurers, since you’re allowed to take one freely.”

“You’re kidding.” I started giggling in joy, “That makes my journey a lot easier if all of the World Wonders just hand those artifacts out!”

“Well, not really. Only the Tower of Currents hands them out for free, the other’s you’ll have to steal or otherwise pry out of the current owners’ cold, dead hands.”

This girl is just being annoying now! Does she want to help me or not?! Make up your mind, lady!

“Fine then!” I jumped out of her transport wagon with a pouty face, “I’ll get all the artifacts, but you’re coming with me!”

“Eh?!” She jumped in surprise.

“None of that ‘Eh?!’ bullshit! You’re the one that just turned my journey into a chore, so take responsibility and accompany me! I can’t speak a lick of any other language, so having someone who regularly travels would do me plenty of good.”

“Hey now, I’m just a lowly wagon driver.” She let out a nervous chuckle, “I’m only working here to pay for the debt my father accumulated before he died.”

“Then just join me on my journey and become an adventurer!” I reasoned, “The pay is plenty better, and I’m sure it’d be a lot more befitting of a cutie like you.”

Whoa, that kind of came out smooth. I kind of said it in the heat of the moment, but could this be the fabled moment where the girl blushes uncontrollably at the main character’s sudden compliment?

“Flattery won’t win you any favors, dude.” She gave a stonefaced reply, “But yeah, sounds like fun. I’m Othelia Hermes, pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

Argh, dammit, looks like reality and fiction truly are two different worlds… But on the bright side, her name is dazzling! Othelia sounds just like a princess name, so much so that I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out that she’s actually a from a branch family of some snobby royals.

“Nice to meet you, Othelia.” I gave her a deep and respectful bow, “I’m Issei Kaido. Let’s get along!”

Heh, I did it. I got her to join my party! The first girl in my future harem has been found, and with such a beautiful name, I’m sure she’ll make for good wife material! If this was a Light Novel, some figures of her striking a cool pose with that flashy traveler’s outfit she’s got on would probably already be in high demand. Alright, now all we have to do is get the artifact from the Tower and I can run along to my next girl-err, next destination!

***

“Whoa!” I gasped, “This place is huge! Are the walls made of gold or something!? That’s just too cool! I gotta take a picture and…!”

Pulling out my phone out of force of habit, I only realized after lifting it high above me like an idiot that the battery died ages ago. Just how deep rooted into my life was my phone addiction? Shame too, social media would’ve gone crazy if they saw such a magnificent sight.

“Hey, what’s that?” Othelia asked, pointing at my phone, “A mirror?”

“No no, that’s just the reflective glass.” I explained, “Put simply, this is a device that basically allows me to do all sorts of things, like for example taking pictures of the scenes around me instantly. Oh, but the battery died, so I can’t power it on anymore.”

“Bat…tery?” She gave me a puzzled look, “Never mind, just step in line so we can get you your first artifact.”

“Step in line?” I donned a similarly puzzled look before turning to where she was pointing, only to start swearing in Japanese at the huge line that was presented in front of me, “Oh come on! Do we really need to wait for our turn if we want to take an artifact?!”

“I’m afraid so.” She shrugged, “But hey, no one said getting all 7 artifacts was gonna be easy. Just sit back and wait your turn like everyone else.”

“But I’m a millennial! My attention span is extremely short, and I get bored way too easily without my phone! Look, there’s a ring on that wall over there, can’t we just take that?”

“Oh,” The person in front of me turned to look at the wall ring, stepped out of line, and took it for himself, “You’re right. Thanks man, now I don’t have to wait in line anymore! You really did save me from like 6 hours of standing around and doing nothing!”

“…” Both Othelia and I couldn’t believe what we just witnessed.

We got jipped! That asshole just took the artifact I already called dibs on! Can you believe this, Otheli-hey, don’t give me that glare! I didn’t know the people here were such selfish pricks!

“You just had to point it out instead of just taking it without saying a word, did you?”

“Oi!” I shouted, “Excuse me for being polite and not wanting to get us in trouble! I was just looking out for your safety, since we’re a party now. Any trouble I get into will only reflect back to you as well, and I really don’t want that.”

“You trying something here?” She clicked her tongue while rolling her eyes, “Because it ain’t working, obviously. Seriously though, stop it with the whole White Knight act, it’s getting kind of creepy.”

“…!” I was shocked frozen at her harsh words, but still made sure to try my last ditch effort of getting my way out of the awkwardness by way of flattery, “Not until you admit that I’m right!”

“Right?” She turned with a curious tone, “In what?”

“Admit you’re cute, dammit!” I shouted for everyone in line to hear.

“H-Hey! Keep your voice down!” She put her hand over my mouth, “You damned idiot! Stop embarrassing me!”

“Mnf!” I pried her hand off of my face, only to shout at the top of my lungs yet again, “Not until you admit you’re cute! You know it, I know it, everyone knows it and yet you’re still acting all cold and aloof towards me!”

After shouting this, I waited for the shitstorm of whispers to form around us. Words like Oh, a lover’s quarrel? and Ah, to be young… could be heard all around the room, each phrase referring solely to us, and she knew it. Finally showing a light blush while still keeping her hand over my mouth, she finally showed me a glimpse of her true emotions.

“…Fine, you’re right.” She looked up at me with a bashful whisper, “I’m cute. Happy now, dumbass?”

Aaah!!! She said it! She said the thing! And the delivery was mwa, chef’s kiss! I knew it, she’s a kuudere most of the time, but the moment I push her buttons, she immediately switches to full-on tsundere! It’s the golden ratio of deres!

“Oh, looks like the line’s finally started moving.” I noted with a spring in my step.

“That’s because no one wants to be in the room anymore after you embarrassed us, me included.” Othelia daintily punched me in the shoulder, “Don’t make that a habit, otherwise I’m going home. Let’s see how far you make it in your journey without a translator…”

“Fine, fine! Won’t happen again, scout’s promise!” I put my right hand to my chest in a very familiar salute from that one famous anime, “Well, no promises~! A-Ah, wait up!”