When I wake up the next morning, it's too the ambush of text messages filling my phone and sending it wild. With a groan, I turn onto my side and reach for the device off my nightstand before turning onto my back. Before I can even bring my phone back to life, it's lighting up again with texts from Robyn and Isla.

There excitement for my first date with Felix tonight turning my feelings into nerves I can't control. Nerves that are leaving me to spiral, and everything becomes overwhelming. Everything inside my curling up in fear. Robyn and Isla are only being supportive and I'm thankful for that. They want me to be happy but right now, I'm waking up with knots I've never had before. So tight they're almost painful and I worry that it's my bodies way of telling me this isn't right. That going out with Felix is a bad decision.

But then I see it, amongst the mass messages from my two friends. The only text I need to calm me down and leave me with a feeling of serenity.

I can't wait to see you tonight, Nicks.

It brings a smile to my face as I lock my phone once again, resting the screen against my chest as I stare up at the roof. I know my anxiety is getting the best of me, creating unnecessary feelings of fear. My body reacting to a danger that doesn't exist, preparing itself to flee.

Taking deep breath for good measures, I sit up and open my messages again. I quickly scan through the numerous texts from each of them before typing my reply as I climb out of bed.

im awake! calm down

you can come over whenever you want

We'll be over in an hour.

Sounds good to me, and don't tell us to calm down!

We're allowed to be excited.

I laugh at Isla's text as I wander out into the hall. They are just being my overly excited best friends, excited for the exciting thing happening in my life and I am too. It's just my overthinking gene that is sending me on a rollercoaster I can't get off of. Every time I think I've calmed myself down, the fear fills my chest again leaving me with one instinct – to run.

Heading for the staircase, I'm determined to calm my nerves before Robyn and Isla get here. Just as I reach the top step, ready to head down stairs I notice that Isaac's door is cracked open and a hum leaves my lips as I turn around. Resting my fist against the wooden door, I open it a crack wider and poke my head inside.

"Ike?" I hum his name.

"Hey Vee," he turns on the couch, dropping his controller on the couch cushion next to him when he hears my voice. "What's up?"

"Do you have a second?" I ask.

"Yeah, for you, always," he bobs his head and smiles softly. "Last night went pretty well, hey? Mom and dad didn't scare Felix off, did they?"

"Not yet at least," I laugh lightly as I step into his room and walk over to the couch, taking a seat. "Did Mika have fun?"

"Think so," he nods. "He didn't tell me that he didn't, so I'll take that as a good sign."

I smile gently. "You two are doing good?"

"Better than good," he admits. "It's going to be odd. All of us are going to have someone except for Greyson. Never thought I'd see that day."

"I know," I laugh as I bring my legs up onto the couch and ball the fabric of long sleeve shirt in my fist, rubbing my thumb over the stitching. "Me either."

"You okay?" Isaac asks suddenly when he sees the nervous gesture.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You know you can," he nods. "What's going on?"

"Were you nervous going out with Mika?" I ask suddenly and watch Isaac's features soften at my question.

It's not like I'm not close with Isaac. I'm close to all three of my brothers, but out of the three he's usually the last I go to when I'm feeling anxious. Normally I'd go to Greyson first, then Riker, but for whatever reason – Isaac is the person I want to talk to this morning. He's the one I want to calm me down.

"Do you not remember me running into your room like a mad man in desperate need of your advice?" He chuckles before becoming serious. "Of course, I was nervous. Riker was probably nervous on his first date with Lena and Greyson on his with his first girlfriend. It's natural."

"Is it? Because I woke up this morning not wanting to go," I frown.

His lips curl up the slightest bit as he nods his head. "Normal."

"I don't like feeling this way, Ike. I don't want to freak out anytime I go out with Felix but I'm scared that I will be," I explain the rush of emotions coursing my veins.

"I get the feeling," he assures me. "Before I came out, I remember walking the halls at school terrified that someone was going to figure it out and out me. I was constantly on edge and just a big ball of anxiety."

"I'm sorry," I sigh. "I'm sorry you ever had to feel like that for just being who you are, Ike."

"It's okay," he reaches for my hand, giving it a tight squeeze. "It shaped me into who I am and not everyone has it as easy as I had it. I don't have anything to complain about."

I shake my head. "Don't do that. Don't down play it. Don't say you had it easy. Coming out can't have been easy, not for you or anyone else."

"I know, I know," he sighs. "My point is...it got better when I didn't have to hide anymore. My anxiety isn't gone, it won't ever leave me but I feel safe now. Knowing you, Riker and Greyson know the truth. Mom and dad. Everyone. You make me feel safe and so, when it gets bad again...I remember that feeling when I finally came out and the way you wrapped your arms around me. You made me feel safe, Vee. You always have and it calms me down."

My lips curl up as I nod my head.

"Do you feel safe with Felix?" He asks.

"Yeah," I nod. "I do."

"Okay, good," he smiles. "So, when you start to panic or you get anxious. Just remember feeling safe with Felix. Remember that and find your grounding again."

"Thank you, Ike," I exhale softly and lean over, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. "I love you. Thank you for talking me through this."

"Thanks for making me feel loved," he hums out and squeezes me tightly.

"You will always have someone that loves you, Isaac," I smile, as I lean out of our hug. "Always. Me, Riker and Greyson. Mom and dad. I promise."

"I know," he rubs his hand over my arm. "Your date's going to be fun. Felix is a good guy. You don't have to be worried about it."

"You weren't saying that when him and his friends were being assholes."

"And he made it right with you so as far as I'm concerned he made it right with us too," he tells me. "I'm not going to hold a grudge against the guy for the rest of his life."

"Okay," I nod and get up. "I should go eat before Robyn and Isla get here."

"Sounds like a good plan," he nods.

"Do you want anything?"

"Coffee?" He asks with a small grin, grabbing his empty mug off the coffee table in front of him. The innocent smile rested on his face makes me laugh as I hold my hand out for it.

"I'll bring you up a cup when I come back up," I assure him as I bring the cup up to my nose, the aftertaste of brewed beans lingering, "I don't know how you drink this stuff."

"It's an addiction," he chuckles as he grabs his game controller and leans back into the couch cushions. "Thanks, Vee. You're the best."

"I know," I grin in his direction before laughing lightly and leaving his room.

I grab a bowl from the cupboards and fill it up with a little bit of cereal, adding a small amount of milk before picking a spoon out of the drawer and taking a small bite. The taste of honey lingering on my tongue as I sit at the table, quietly munching on my breakfast alone. When I finish, I set everything in the dishwasher and get Isaac a fresh cup of coffee before heading upstairs.

Giving Isaac his coffee, I head for my room and make the decision to shower before Robyn and Isla get here to clean my hair. The water warming my skin and melting away any leftover anxiety I'm feeling, leaving me feeling refreshed and at peace when I step back into my room.

"Oh good, you showered!" Robyn spins on her heel when she hears the door to the bathroom I share with Greyson open.

"Uh, hi," I laugh and look at the clock on my nightstand. "You guys are early."

"We're way too excited!" Isla grins mischievously from my bed, clapping her hands together. "How are you not losing your mind right now?"

"Trust me, I am," I wrap my arms tightly around my body. "Actually, freaking out is a complete understatement."

"In a good way?" Robyn asks.

I nod and let out a breath of air, "Did Isaac let you in?"

"Riker," Isla tells me. "He was coming in from a run when we got here."

"Are you okay, Vee?" Robyn asks when she sees the look on my face.

"Yeah, yeah," I assure them and rest my hand over my heart. "I've just got some first date jitters is all. This is kind of like my first serious first date."

"You'll have fun, don't worry," Isla assures.

"And maybe this will make you feel better," Robyn holds up a clear plastic cup with a lid and straw, the peachy pink color shining through.

"Yum," I hold my hand out for the smoothie. "Thank you."

"Better?" She asks.

"Better."

"Okay, now...where is he taking you?" Isla questions as she gets up from my bed, heading straight for my walk-in closet. "Are you going out for dinner or?"

"No," I shake my head. "I mean, I don't know. He wouldn't tell me what we're doing but he said to dress comfortable."

"Okay, comfy but cute," Robyn hums, tapping her fingers together as her gears turn. "We can work with that. He really won't tell you where you're going?"

"No, I think that's part of why I'm so anxious."

"Or it's because you like him so much," she teases. "It's okay to be nervous, you know."

"I know," I nod.

"Oh my goodness, what about this?" Isla excitedly asks as she emerges from my closet holding up mustard yellow spaghetti strap romper. The fabric detailed with thin white lines, one inch apart from each other.

"Oh, hey," I hum at the sight of it. "I forgot I had that."

"So cute," Robyn nods in approval.

"Right?" Isla grins. "You could match it with this," she says as she holds off white knitted cardigan, slightly longer than the romper with a hood.

"I like it," I tell her.

"And these!" She gasps, spotting something else in my closet that catches her eyes and comes back out with a pair of brown leather strappy sandals.

"I can see your make-up now," Robyn hums out before turning to look at me. "Okay, this is the outfit. No arguments."

"I wasn't going to argue," I assure her.

"Good, then let's get you cute for your date," Robyn claps her hands a points to the chair at my make-up table. "Felix isn't going to know what hit him."

a/n;

Isaac may be my favorite brother. Or Riker. Or Greyson. I can't decide.