The next few months are gone in the blink of an eye. Our fall weather turning to winter days, well, winter for California and before I know it, it's spring and I'm awaiting the end of the school year but unlike other years, I don't want it to get here and I'm praying the days slow down. Begging the universe for more time, because despite my parents saying they'll try.

They haven't really.

They still fight, more so than usual because they are putting in an effort. My dad's been around more but it's different and I fear things are stuck in a rut they can't get out of. They're trying, but not as much as they could and the work they are putting in isn't making any difference and I'm left wondering if maybe this is it. Maybe there is no going back, but how can you possibly not want to fight like hell for the person you love more than anyone? We have one short life, so what's the point in wasting it arguing over nothing?

A part of me feels guilty, because my relationship with Felix is only getting stronger and it seems theirs is only getting weaker. Everything just feels bleaker than usual, this new normal becoming too comfortable for my liking. The only thing keeping me going is knowing Felix is there when I need him.

Most of our spare time is spent together, and since football season is over — that means we have even more time for each other. Whether it's spent with each other, our friends or my brothers. Felix spending more time at my house than his own. He's gotten close to all my brothers, finding something in common with each of them and it warms my heart to know that he fits so well into our family. Despite its state.

Aside from my parents lack of working out their problems, Greyson is growing frustrated. He's still living with us and suffering from writer's block, if it can even be called that. It seems more like he has a fear of failure, too scared to even try and put himself out there despite the encouragement from both our parents. And I don't blame him.

It's hard to make yourself vulnerable. To pain, to criticism, to a person and it doesn't get easier putting yourself out there. I know he's scared too, and I get it. I get his fear, but if I've learned anything these last few weeks it's that putting yourself out there can be worth the risk more times than not. Putting your heart on the line can pay off, and I know that when he finally finds the courage and confidence to put his writing out there – it will be worth the risk of failing.

Even knowing that, it doesn't stop my head from being in the clouds. It doesn't stop me from worrying about my parent's relationship, or my brothers, or my friends, or Felix. It doesn't stop my anxiety from running itself up the wall into dangerous levels of panic. It doesn't stop the overthinking.

"Whoa," a voice fills my ears as I run into them, my eyes focused on my phone instead of my where I'm going and I immediately rest my hands on their biceps to catch myself. "You okay, Nicks?"

I hum as I raise my head, shaking my thoughts out. "Oh, hi."

"Hi," Felix laughs, running his hands up the back of my arms before seeing the look on my face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I shake my head and step into his embrace, resting my head against his shoulder. "I'm just in a weird head space. I'm sorry."

"Nicks, that is the last thing you need to apologize for," he runs his hand over the back of my light distressed denim jacket. "We all have our off days."

"I know," I sigh and squeeze him tighter. "I just feel like I have more than my fair share, and I know it's a lot to deal with."

He shakes his head, "You are not a lot to deal with. Not even in the slightest."

"I'm sorry," I lean back and cover my face with my hands. "I'm just having such a weird day. It feels like the day just isn't going to end and Greyson's being weird and my parents aren't working on their relationship the way they should and-."

"And you're taking on responsibilities that aren't your burden to take," he cuts me off with a soft smile. "Nicks, Greyson will work himself out of the rut he's in. You just need to give him some more time and your parents, they'll figure shit out."

"You sound optimistic."

"That's because I am," he smiles gently. "What class do you have next?"

"Biology," I tell him tucking my cell phone into the back pocket of my black skinny jeans.

"Great, I have Chemistry," he holds his hand out for me to take. "Let's skip."

"What?" I laugh and shake my head. "No."

"Yes, come on," he gestures for my hand again. "You need a distraction."

"Felix, I can't skip class."

"Do you have a test?"

"No."

"Then I think you'll manage," he says and takes my hand this time. "Come on, let's go."

The corners of my lips curl up as our fingers lace together, allowing him to pull me down the hall in the opposite direction of the science wing. Usually, skipping class would never even cross my mind but I seem to be doing it more and more this year but when I'm in this head space, I already know class is going to be a waste of time.

So whether it's right or wrong, I need to do it to clear my head.

"Felix, the front door is the other way," I mumble quietly when he pulls me down the next hallway instead of leading me towards the exit to leave.

"I know."

"Where are you taking me?" I ask.

"You'll see," he says and as soon as he pulls me in front of him, directing me through the door to the library I know exactly where we're going.

The darkroom next to the news room. A place of pure magic, even if it's a rare occasion when I get to go inside and it's been forever. Despite promising to show Felix the room, I never found the time to actually bring him here and show him the process.

"How do you know I even have film with me?" I question as I open the side pocket of my backpack to get my keys out with the copy Miss. Arthur made me.

"When do you not have your camera with you?" He raises an eyebrow.

I shrug, "I may need it."

"I'm not saying it's a bad this," he chuckles lightly. "You promised you'd show me this and we never found the time, so let's make the time right now."

"Instead of going to class?"

He bobs his head, "Who needs biology and chemistry, anyways?"

"Riker," I stick my tongue out before unlocking the door, and ushering him inside.

"This is not what I was expecting," Felix admits, changing the subject as he steps inside to the long supply closet.

My lips curl up as a small laugh leaves my lips, untangling myself from my bag and jacket to set on the table at the front of the room. "What were you expecting?"

"I don't really know," he shrugs. "I guess, I was expecting it to be bigger."

"You don't need much room," I tell him as I adjusted the racerback grey ribbed tank top on my body. Moving towards the light switch to turn the light on and flick on the red light. "A lot of people turn their bathrooms into darkrooms."

"Really?"

I hum out my response as I dig out my camera, rewinding the film inside before pulling it out and grabbing the development tank from the shelf. Felix falls silent as he watches me grab everything I need, setting up my stations before getting to work. I half expected him to ask questions as I did everything, but they never come and instead he watches me carefully as I work in the darkness. The black and white film I used, old and insensitive to the red light in the room meaning I don't have to work in complete darkness.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask quietly, when I notice the look on his face after I use the developer, stopper and fixer chemicals to develop my film before moving onto enlarge them.

"It's nice seeing you in your element is all," he explains and the corners of his lips curl up. "You're pretty amazing, you know that?"

"You're pretty full of it," I tease, sticking my tongue out as I adjust the focus on the enlarger and hit the button to put it onto the sensitized paper on the easel keeping it in place. "You want to see something really cool?"

"Yeah, show me," he nods and walks up to me as I pull the paper out from under the metal easel. The excitement in getting to share this with someone taking over as I turn to the trays of chemicals on the table next to me.

"Can you pass me the tongs right there?" I point to them hanging on the wall as I slid the paper into the paint tray of developer. "Okay, so, this is the developer," I explain as I press the paper down to be fully coated in the clear chemical. "And slowly, it starts to bring the image out that I put on the sheet with the enlarger from the film."

Felix leans over and I watch his eyes light up as the image slowly starts to appear on the sheet, and the longer it sits in the bath the darker it gets. "That's kind of incredible."

"Isn't it?" I smile in his direction. "And once I get it to the point I like it, we pick it out and put it in the stopper," I explain as I pick it out and slid it into the next tray. "Give it a few minutes to keep it from developing any further and then we put it in the fixer."

Felix watches me through the rest of the steps down to rinsing it in the water and hanging it on the clothes line to dry it. My lips curl up at the sight of him, taken on the beach a few weeks ago. We went with Riker, Lena, Isaac and Mika and spent the day. It being one of my favourite days, with some of my favourite people.

"What do you think?"

He turns his gaze to the single photograph and his lips curl up, "It's amazing, Nicks. You know who would love it?"

"Who?" I ask.

"My moms'," he smiles softly. "I've been thinking maybe it's time you meet them?" Before I can even get my answer out, he cuts in. "Unless it's a bad idea? It's just that they want to do something for my birthday tomorrow and it's a big one so Lottie and Livy are even flying in for it, but I kind of just rather spend it with you so if it's-."

I cut him off by pressing my lips to his, wrapping my arms around his neck as I pull back. "If you want me there, I'm there."

"I want you there."

"Then I'm there," I grin. "I'd love to meet them, Felix."

"Good," he exhales and rests his forehead against mine. "I'm sorry I didn't ask sooner. I just, my family is nothing like yours. We're dysfunctional and the only time we see each other is for big events and to be honest I wasn't sure my birthday qualified."

"Your birthday will always qualify as important to me," I tell him, rubbing my thumb over the back of his neck. "Every day with you is important."

And it's true because even the most insignificant days like today, in this darkroom, I'm making memories to last. With the person fit for me. My first love. The thing most important to me, and I will treat every day like it's the most important because each day with Felix is a day I want to remember.

a/n;

Alright, my loves. Hope you enjoyed the chapter because I'll probably be posting another one later today, just cause :)