"For the love of all that is mother fucking holy, will you get your pretty little head out that damn book and Yano... maybe socialise with me, do some work?"

Snapping the book shut I'm met with two black fierce wings you could easily cut a vein with. Layla towers over me red nails clutching her hips whilst one boot-clad leg is slightly bent, expectancy veiling over her. The copy of 'The Great Gatsby, the one Blaze got me that still smells like him and his sheets, the copy that's seen us through many restless nights hits the diner counter with a small thud. I wince at the sound already itching to scan it for damage. Layla's eyebrows hitch up and I realise I've not actually said anything, just gotten lost in worried about losing another part of him.

"Sorry... I've got an exam tomorrow." That is partially true, I have got my English exam tomorrow and it is on The Great Gatsby, though this isn't my class copy that's covered in notes. Doth no pen come near this one. The pages that carry the lingering smell of pine and lemon, like his sheets or the crumbs I sometimes find in between the pages after our cookies from our late-night Julie and the Phantoms binge. Another show I forced him to watch under false pretence, I sometimes catch him mumbling the lyrics as I sing them in his car... sang them rather.

"Sure sunshine. Although you are not my sunshine at the minute are you, my love." She pulls at the end of my blonde ponytail with a frown. I don't even have the energy to bat her away. The dinner behind us in its usual late-night chaos. Tables of last-minute dinners and jocks who are already promised those scholarships despite the grades they end up with. They throw food at each other like apes and holler from the sticky booths. Families occupy the further tables after the little ones' late-night dance classes and karate classes. I revel in the noise that pushes the silence away, the constant state of numbness. The air smells of grease and sugared desserts, the best kind obviously, and the neon red LEDs cast an artificial glow across the chequered floor. Some people may call Ruby's tacky but that's what it's meant to be and if you can't love it at face value then I guess you have no business here. Bells ring distantly as other waiters shoot off in various directions towards the jocks and the bag-eyed parents, their kids chewing on crayons.

"It's just exam stress, it's wearing me down. Sorry." I hop off the stool and slide my book under the counter, pasting the best smile I can muster on my face en route to the hotplate. Laycie catches the crook of my elbow and hauls me back into the stool with an umph.

"Don't you be tryna pull the wool over my eyes, young lady. That ain't no exam stress that's boy stress." Panic skitters over my skin like a parade of tiny ants. "What's going on Atlas." Her eyebrows slant down into a line of concern, fear pinching her blushed lips. There's no way I'm getting out of here without telling her. A breath of humid fryer air fills my lungs, the words spilling out on exhale.

"Blaze and I broke up."

Laycies face pales as she reels back from me, her grip on my elbow softening. She blinks a few times before her eyelids droop with pity.

"Oh, baby. What... what happened. You guys were... well I thought you were endgame. Like Shawn and Camila end- oh not a good example... but you know what I mean. What happened-"

"Can we get some goddamn service in here?" A well-annunciated voice shouts followed by an accompaniment of male laughter. Laycie and I both look behind us to the group of boys all in varsity jackets, a big trophy sitting in the middle of them. Their jackets of maroon and green portray the boarding school from the town over.

"Duty Calls," I sight pushing off the stool notebook in hand.

"This conversation isn't over missy," Laycie shouts after me as I make my way over to the table where the boys are now throwing paper napkins at each other.

"What can I get you, boys," I say flipping over the notepad with a lot less enthusiasm than normal. The ring leader looks up swishing his brown hair from his eyes, a move I presume would normally make the opposite sex swoon.

"Well well, took long enough blondie." The word brings bile to the back of my throat, reminders pushing on the waves of nausea. It drips like acid from his tongue. His eyes rake down my uniform and linger on the hemline of my dress that cuts off at my lower thigh. "If your done gossiping with the other dumb blonde behind the counter we'll take twelve milkshakes. Three vanilla, five chocolate and four strawberries. Six double bacon burgers and fries, one veggie burger and fries, four plates of wings and a margarita pizza." One of the other boys gestures from the end of the table, "Oh and throw in some ribs and some buffalo wings." He winks my way and picks up a toothpick to twist between his teeth. "You manage to get all that sweetie... or, do, you, want, me, to, repeat it." He leans forward a smug grin plastered on his funny-coloured lips. I grind my molars and smile sweetly.

I most definitely have a higher GPA than this doofus.

I recite the order back to him, barely listening as he stares down at his phone, not even looking up before he says "Good girl. Run along then." I stay planted for a few seconds itching to put some of Blaze's training into practice but settle with it.

"Your drinks will be over soon."

I walk back to the kitchen window and hand the order over to the chef, the only ounce of pep I had now gone. The dinner is now heaving, Laycie running around with multiple trays and plates balanced on her arms. My section has had a few new customers since I last checked so I slap on my best smile and walk my ass over to the first booth on my side.

"Hey, guys what can I –" My words falter looking up from my pad, the Beckett family smile back at me, well two-thirds of them. The other third's eyes flit from me to the boys on the table full of athletes. His knuckles are white against the red table and I can smell his aftershave from here. The smell of lemon and mint wash over me in a tight hold, his hair is slightly wet presuming he's only just finished at the gym and his gorgeous blue eyes, deep as oceans and as mesmerising as the night's sky lack their depth, hollow and colour than usual. The bags under his eyes only add to that.

"Atty!" Gemma beams up at me, her black plaits swish excitedly as she leaps up to hug me. I squish her back as tight as I can savouring her sweet smell and warmth, willing the tears to go away.

"Hey my love, how are you!" I say reluctantly letting go.

"I miss you." She whispers into my ear.

"I miss you more."

"Blaze is sad without you, and so am I and mommy." She looks deep into my eyes, hopes flashing against her irises.

"I'm sorry shortcake, I'm very very sad without blaze too and even more sad without you and your mommy."

"I don't really understand why you're not at home anymore but mommy said some people just need space otherwise they get really sad and I don't want you to be sad so it's okay you can have space but not too much space because I don't want you to disappear okay." She looks at me assertively and I chuckle against the knot in my throat.

"I promise I won't disappear. For one I need to see how well you've progressed with your ballet, your mommy's told me so much." She beams up at me one last time and kisses my cheek before dropping back into her seat.

I look back at Helen and Blaze, both of whom are staring at me with emotion in their eyes I can't quite decipher.

"Sorry honey I didn't know you were working tonight." Helen looks between me and Blaze sympathetically tension growing in the air.

"I've taken a few extra shifts in. We're a bit busy tonight so I apologise. What can I get you?" Quickly changing the subject I focus back on my pen and pad.

"We'll take two diet cokes and one-"

"Strawberry milkshake!" Gem shouts excitedly.

"Yes love a strawberry milkshake, one Americana burger and fries, one double chicken burger and fries and one bacon burger and fries." Helen recites from her fingers.

"Okay, so that's one-"

"Hey blondie, still waiting on the drinks." The table of doofuses shouts, I ignore them watching Blaze shoot daggers back at them, tension across his entire form. I go back to re-reading the order.

" One American with fries, one chicken-"

"Are you deaf, I said we're still waiting for your fucking drinks you dumb bitch." This time the dinner is quiet and every family turns to look between me and the table. My cheeks heat a furious red and I try not to let the tears surface.

"Watch your fucking tone when you talk to her." Before I can register Blaze has jumped up pointing fingers at them, snarling across the dinner. Helen grabs his hand but he shakes it off. There's a chorus of 'oos' from the boys.

"I'll be with you in one moment gentlemen," I say quickly trying to diffuse the tension in the room. Soon enough the families go back to eating and conversing about their days.

"Who are they love?" Helen fiddles with her necklace.

"Fuckers from Hilden Grange in the town over, their ring leader's Hurton Range. Total fuckwit, he played against us last year and cussed us out when we beat his ass. He just beat East Meddow High in a baseball tournament. Only win they've gotten this year. Rich bastards." Blaze looks down at the table through the duration of his fact file. Helen's eyebrows raise in concern.

"Yeah, I remember the game against them. Nasty sore losers."

"I do apologise about the noise, I'll be back in A moment with drinks," I say quickly beginning to back away from the table. I'll get Laycie to send the drinks over. The least time spent in the same vicinity as Blaze the better. I already feel drained from that encounter. My skin itches to touch his, feel his arms around me and his soothing voice to tell me we'll be okay.

When I get back to the counter the tray of milkshakes is just being finessed off. I take a breath and pick them up with the direction of the Hilden Grange boys.

"Finally." Hurton sighs awarded by applause from the rest of the table, my cheeks heat even more.

"One strawberry," I start lifting the drink off the tray.

"You look a little flushed their blondie. Your cheeks are awfully red, you might wanna cool down for a bit." And with that, a coldness seeps to my bones, liquid drips from my hair down onto my boots, the smell of flavoured milk soaking into my every pore. My mouth opens on a inhale, stuck in place as the table in the front laugh at me. Hurton has tipped the entire tray over me. Milkshake wets the strands of my hair, Dripps down with my make up and soaks through my red uniform.

"Oops." He sniggers. Laycie rushes over to me, eyes blasting daggers at him. Before either one of us can say anything Hurton gurgles like he's choking. Blaze has his hands around his throat and is pushed into the back of the bench. Everyone stood up watching as Helen rushes over behind me.

"You fucking asshole. How fucking dare you. You're going to wish gonna you'd never set foot in this fucking town." Blaze's fist raises, shit, shit, shit. I leap forward and cover his fist in my sticky hands.

"Blaze," He doesn't turn to look at me but energy zips through my skin at the contact. For the first time, tonight Hurton looks actually afraid, he's played Balze before, and he knows of him and the reputation he holds. Blaze's single hand chokes him harder. "Blaze let go, it's fine."

"It's not fucking fine, it's never fucking fine." He grows against Hurtons face. Hurton tires to shrink back further into the bench.

"Don't do this. Not here." He doesn't relent, the only way to go is with the last string. "Not in front of me. Not in front of your mom or Gemma." I whisper my other hand on his back. His eyes shut for a second, the fury ebbing in his jaw. When he opens them an ounce of control is back.

"Apologise." He demands. Hurton does nothing just claws and Blaze's hand." FUCKING APOLOGISE!" He barks.

"S-So-rry. I'm s-sorry."He croaks under Blazes' hand. He holds on for a few more seconds then lets him go. Hurton slumps into a pile gasping for air as he grips his throat. I shouldn't be as happy as I am to see the red welts already forming on his skin.

The whole dinner around us is silent, scared and entertained. I feel sick. Tears cloud my vision and I take off running before anyone can say anything.

I look at myself in the tiny mirror I keep in my locker, my hair has gone straw-like with milkshake. The smell of stale milk leaks from my skin. My eyes are red, black drips down my cheeks mascara mixed with the gloopy mess. It took an hour to even get this presentable. Laycie rang Ruby to tell her what happened and she let me go early. I threw my uniform into a plastic bag and threw on a spare pair of leggings and one of Blaze's old T-shirts I found in my locker. It hurt putting it on but it was either that or sitting in a damp uniform. It still smells of him, and tears water at my lashline but I refuse to cry again. I slip on my uggs and grab my bag before heading out the back. I don't want anyone else to see me in this state.

I shut the back door behind me and nearly fall to the ground when I see Blaze standing there.

"What-" I stutter grabbing my chest. "What are you doing here?"

"Whatever going on between us right now I couldn't leave without seeing you, checking you were okay." He takes a hesitant step towards me and slowly reaches out his hand. Keeping eye contact he lifts his thumb to my cheek and strokes gently. I lean into his touch and close my eyes imagining we're lying in his bed watching some stupid sitcom that's playing a re-run late into the night.

"Please don't cry butterfly." I can't help the sob that leaves my lips as his voice breaks. His arms wrap around me and press me against his chest. I can hear his heart beating fast against his shirt. The wind wraps around us and I shiver to regret bringing a jacket. Blazes hold tightens on me and just for a moment we're fine, nothing else matters. Everything is good, tears drip down my cheeks.

"Thank you." I mumble, "For what you did back there."

"Regardless of what's happening, you're still my girl. I will never not protect you. You will always be my girl. You deserve so much more Sweetheart." He pulls away and looks deep into my eyes, the silence comforting for the first time in days. He slips the leather jacket off his body and slips it around my shoulder protecting me from the wind. When he pulls back I can see the glassiness of his eyes In the moonlight.

"We're going to be okay.. right," I whisper barely audible.

"Of course, we will be." He whispers back, his palm returning to my cheek. He leans forward and plants a kiss on my forehead. "We'll be okay Blondie."

The sound of a horn sounds behind us and sends us spiralling apart.

"Hurry up bitch, I left my straighteners on." Carries voice echoes across the parking lot. Even though we're shielded by the wall of the diner my cheeks heat and I fumble away.

"I've got to go," I mumble turning to flee.

"Atlas... wait." Blaze calls after me, but my feet don't stop as the tears flow wildly. I pull open the door of Carrie's car and look over to where we stood, the print of his lips burns on my forehead but not as much as feeling like I've made a massive mistake

Hi my loves. I'm so sorry I have been the absolute worst at the moment. I've had a lot going on with uni and the moment and I've recently started a new job. I've also been diagnosed with ADHD to which I've now understood that I deal quite significantly with hyper-fixations... it does very much affect my writing and reading 😂😂but over Christmas I'm going to set aside a good chunk of time to write!! Thank you all for being so patient!!!