I rolled over again and let out a frustrated sigh. Andy’s words bounced around in my head. Guilt threatened to overwhelm me. I needed to get to Peggy somehow. I needed to get her out. I needed to help my crew, make sure they were alright. I needed to do something for the people still on the base. I needed help Sammy. I rolled over again as my thoughts ricocheted through my head and chased out any hint of sleepiness. I knew I was tired. My thoughts had taken on that slightly hysterical edge that only normally came from a lack of sleep but I couldn’t quieten them. Normally, I’d make a to-do list on my wrist monitor of things I had to do. Then, I knew I’d focus on them in the morning and I could sleep but that was gone. They must have removed my monitor and the tracking device they said was inside as soon as I got on the first ship. Or maybe even before that. A run would help clear my head but I could feel my limbs already protesting at the thought.

I glanced at the door, knowing the Doctors station was out there somewhere. I longed to ask them for a sleeping pill, for something that would chase the thoughts from my mind and replace them with soft nothingness. But I couldn’t. The fear was too high. We were on a ship now. If something went wrong, if the Council found us or if there was a problem with the engines or an unexpected asteroid field somehow, they’d need me. I knew I wasn’t in peak shape, that was for sure, but I could still be helpful.

I lifted my head and dropped it back onto the pillow with an annoyed grunt. It was somehow too light and too dark in the room. The lights were barely on but still, it was too much. The lights in the corridor outside my window brightened every time a doctor or another patient walked past. I knew I could probably dim the windows but I didn’t have the energy. I was too busy being annoyed.

Not being able to sleep was so frustrating even though I knew I wasn’t helping myself. I felt stuck there, unable to do anything about the thoughts swirling through my head, just getting more and more annoyed until finally something snapped and I did something dumb. That’s what always happened. The urge to steal a ship and fly to Nova flitted into my head temptingly. I could trade myself for Peggy. Harvey would have definitely gone for that. Cas would struggle with it but it is my duty. I am the Captain. I deserved to be there instead of her.

The door opened and I glanced down to see Chal standing on the threshold.

“Is everything alright? I could hear you tossing and turning from out there.”

“Can’t sleep,” I muttered, annoyance clear in my voice.

Chal sighed dramatically and walked further into the room, seating himself carefully in the armchair next to my bed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

I chewed my lip. I didn’t want to sound rude but the answer was no.

“Not really.”

He chuckled lightly, the dim light glinting off his brilliantly white teeth.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I don’t like talking to people if I can avoid it. What would help?”

I rolled my head back on the pillow and tracked the lines between the ceiling tiles with my eyes as I mulled over an answer but came up with nothing helpful.

Chal probably wouldn’t have agreed with my plan to fly to Nova and offer myself up in exchange for Peggy.

“What would you do if you were back on the base or in Frida right now?” Chal asked when I didn’t say anything.

“I don’t know. Probably write a list of things I need to think about. It feels like there’s too much though.”

I could feel Chal’s eyes on my face but I didn’t want to meet them.

“What’s at the top of the list?”

His tone was so gentle and non-judgement that I found the words spilling from my lips without a second thought.

“Peggy. I need to do something to get her back. The thought of her being kept somewhere on Nova is horrible. If the Council have her, they’ll be torturing her. I can’t… I can’t get that thought out of my head. She deserves so much better.”

“We’ll get her back. No one has forgotten her. We have Guardians in the Council keeping us informed. We’ve narrowed down her location to five different places. As soon as we know where she is, we’ll formulate a plan and get her back.”

I nodded. His words took away some of the terror. Chal and Andy wouldn’t let me down. They’d help me get Peggy back, I knew it.

“Why don’t I get you a screen so you can get some of those worries out and start formulating a plan?”

Relief washed through me.

“Is that okay? I don’t want to take a screen from someone else.”

He stood and rolled his eyes at me.

“Aries, you won’t be. I have about twenty spare ones on my ship. You know I like to tinker with them, I get you one with all the latest fun stuff.” He winked and left the room.

My fear had withdrawn to a more gentle panic now. Knowing that soon, I’d be able to write everything down helped. I itched to climb out of bed and follow Chal to find the screen but my limbs refused. He returned before long anyway.

“Here you go. I’ve wiped everything unnecessary off it. It is yours to keep.”

I looked up at him in confusion.

“I can’t keep it, it’s yours!”

He tilted his head to the side.

“Honestly, Aries! I thought we went through this. I have too many, you can keep it.”

I took it from his outstretched hands hesitantly, feeling instantly more relaxed. Suddenly, I had access to the outside world. I could see what was happening on the internet without having to rely on what people were telling me. After seeing all of the lies the Council posted about us, I no longer trusted people quite as easily. Now, I liked to double-check. It was easy to believe people when you didn’t have access to any other information but it was harder for them to trick you when you did. The fact that Chal gave me a screen made me trust Aquila and everyone on Freo slightly more. It was the complete opposite of being with the Council. There, we had been isolated, cut off from everyone else and unable to talk to anyone. But here, I knew I could walk out of the medBay if I wanted to. Sure, Chal would probably stop me but that was for my own safety. When I’d stood up to go to the bathroom earlier, my knees had given out under me. I doubted I’d be able to stroll around the ship so soon.

“Okay. Write down your worries or your to-do list and try to get some sleep. You’re a kid still, sleep is important.”

I smirked at him.

“Isn’t sleep important for everyone? Didn’t you work all day today?”

He raised a carefully sculpted eyebrow at me.

“Yes. And?” His tone was sharp but I knew he was joking.

“Well then, shouldn’t you be sleeping now too?”

He scoffed.

“Ah, Aries! Sleep is for the weak! And those without crippling insomnia. But thankfully, coffee exists.” He winked once more at me and swept from the room.

A laugh slipped from my mouth and I activated the screen with a swipe on my fingers. Speaking to Chal had made me feel much more at ease. I could feel the tension slipping from my shoulders as I clicked the button that brought my bed up to a seated position so that I could start typing.

First step, write the to-do list:

Save Peggy.

Help Sammy and all of the other kids still on the base.

Bring down the Council.

It felt impossible but I wanted nothing more than to watch as Council Harvey had all power stripped from him before dying, powerless and alone. He would do the same to me in an instant. That thought comforted me enough to finally be able to drift off to sleep.