“I know this is a disappointment for all of us but one failed attempt does not mean we will never get Peggy back. We still managed to achieve a lot today and the information that our fighters managed to recover brings us one step closer to taking down the Council.”

Fornax’s words washed over me as I stood blankly by her side. My hands were still shaking. I could feel them twitching and begging me to do something. My gaze bounced unsteadily around the bay, unwilling to focus on anything. It glossed over my crew’s faces, barely taking them in and not wanting to see the disappointment that I knew would be there. Gem’s quiet snuffles echoed loudly in my ears, reminding me how badly we had failed.

We’d pulled away from Nova and travelled a short distance to make sure we weren’t being followed before we stopped and came back to brief the crew. Aquila had told us we could return to Freo but we needed to take long routes home. I wished we didn’t have to then we could be back on Freo sooner and plotting the next mission but at the same time, I couldn’t bear the thought of being surrounded by so many people who knew what we had done and how badly it had gone.

We needed to get Peggy back. I kept replaying everything we’d seen over and over in my head. She looked so thin and so unhealthy. They obviously weren’t feeding her properly. Her pale, waxy skin made it clear she hadn’t been outside in a while either. Probably since that press conference.

Fornax turned, subtly bumping her arm into mine and jolting me from my ruminations. I blinked hard, accidentally activating my mods, and turned to follow her back into the cockpit.

“You okay? You did good out there,” she said quietly, dropping back into her chair.

I stared at her blankly, still standing in the doorway. Now that I didn’t need to be strong for my crew, energy was leaving me fast.

“I did nothing. I just stood there and didn’t say anything.”

I finally got my legs to move and slowly stumbled over to the secondary chair, falling heavy into it.

“You didn’t need to. You were there, that was enough.”

She waited for me to strap myself in, which took too long with shaky uncooperative hands, before gently coaxing the engine into action. I glanced mechanically at the scanners and screens surrounding me before staring ahead vacantly. My mind was empty. Too still and too quiet. Nausea still gurgled within me but it was distant. I couldn’t think or feel anything.

“You okay?” Fornax asked softly.

I was aware of her looking at me but I couldn’t bring myself to do anything. My eyes burnt from not blinking but even that felt like too much effort. I nodded, catching the inside of my lip with my teeth and tugging at it.

“You sure?”

Tears unexpectedly gathered in my eyes as white hot emotion assaulted my stomach. I dug my teeth in harder, tasting the metal tang of blood, and nodded again.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my head. I knew I couldn’t say anything. If I opened my mouth, only sobs would come out.

“Sometimes it helps but if you don’t want to that’s okay. Can you think of anything that would help?”

She glanced at me for a second before looking back out the window and continuing to watch me from the corner of her eyes. I couldn’t think of anything. Tears kept dripping down my face and I had taken chunks off the inside of my lip. I was losing control but I couldn’t help it.

“You look like you could do with a good cry. Would that help?”

I tried to take a deep breath but it rattled unsteadily in my chest. I wasn’t sure. I was crying regardless of how hard I tried to make myself stop.

“Here. Take control for a second,” Fornax said, switching the controls over to me.

I quickly reached out and grabbed them with one hand, the other wiping my eyes to clear my vision.

I could hear her moving around behind me but I didn’t have the energy to look back. It took all I had to keep looking forwards.

“Asala, turn on autopilot,” Fornax said.

“Autopilot engaged,” the ship’s voice replied.

I let go of the controls and let my hands drop to my lap, staring at them.

“Come here, Aries,” she requested.

I fumbled with the harness again and rose, walking over to her. She was standing at the back of the cockpit, a blanket in her hands.

“What’s this?” I asked, my voice feeling rough and scratchy as I took in the harness attached low down on the wall, near the floor.

“That’s emergency space. In case the bay is too full and we need to start putting people in here. Can’t have them falling over in here, they might interfere with our flying. But, for now, it’s for you.”

I looked at her, confusion and heartbreak making my brain slow.

“Sit down and buckle in,” she commanded.

I did what she said, adjusting it so the harness was the perfect height to hold me if needed.

“Here you go,” she said, tucking the blanket over my legs and tucking it around my shoulders. “Sit here until you feel a bit better. Cry, scream, do whatever you need to do. It’s soundproofed in here so no one will hear you.”

I pulled my knees up, my arms hugging them tightly, as I stared at Fornax’s boots.

I swallowed hard and finally voiced the question I’d been thinking.

“Is there nothing else we can do?”

She was silent for so long that I looked up at her face.

“Aries, you know we’ve done all we can,” she said finally.

I couldn’t accept that.

“No. If I could get a jet, I could go down there and get her back,” I said.

Fornax tilted her head to one side and I looked down again. The sympathy in her eyes was too overwhelming.

“If you go down there it’ll be a suicide mission. The fighters were more trained and they had a lot more tech than we have here. They were overwhelmed and if you go down, the same thing will happen to you.”

I shook my head, not wanting to believe her words.

“There has to be something I can do. I can’t just leave her there!” A sob burst from my mouth and I clamped my hand over my lips to stop any more from escaping.

Fornax crouched down, steadily meeting my gaze.

“You’re not abandoning her or giving up on her. You’re just retreating and making a new plan before we get her back for real this time.”

I nodded, tears still streaming down my face.

“They will try again, won’t they?” I asked.

A gentle smile came over her face.

“Of course. I’ve been here long enough to know that Aquila and Elliot don’t give up on anyone. And, well I haven’t known Andy for that long, but I heard a lot about him. He’s a fighter through and through. He won’t leave Peggy there.”

I sniffed. He wouldn’t. I wasn’t sure about Aquila but I knew that Andy could never love someone who would leave a kid with the Council. Elliot would fight to get her back too.

“Are you sure?”

“I am. I lost a friend on a mission once. A long time ago. They were taken by the Council too. I know this is hard for you but the best thing you can do right now is wait for Aquila and everyone to regroup and work out their next plan but we will get Peggy back.”

The conviction in her voice helped ease some of the pain in my chest.

She smiled again and started to stand.

“Did you get them back?” I blurted out before waiting with hollow hopefulness.

Fornax’s expression froze. I could tell the answer wasn’t good.

“Yes,” she said hesitantly.

“But?”

She looked away from me, glancing at the scanners but I knew she was just preparing herself for what she was about to say.

“They didn’t survive. But Peggy seems tough and she’s got the four of you. She’ll be okay.”

I took a slow shuddering breath and tried to focus on what she said. She was right. Peggy is strong, she’s stronger than any one of us. She had to be okay. She just needed to hold out a little longer then we’d get her back and we could take care of her. We would do whatever it took.

Tears streamed down my face again as I remembered what she had said. She was so sure that we’d find her again and get her back. I couldn’t disappoint her. I wouldn’t. I didn’t care if I had to steal a ship and fly to Nova alone, I would get her back. She would come back to us.