《Teenage Dirtbag -South Park Creek》Fuckin thot
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I woke up with a smile on my face. It was a Saturday and nothing could get me in a bad mood. The sun shone through my window. I heard the birds chirping and I saw the flowers growing through the sidewalk. I felt so nice. I was even more excited for work! I'm normally not excited for work at all. I mean what's exciting about working all day with your homophobic dad and your arch nemesis with a chatty blond best friend and your other brunette best friend that's in love with your arch nemesis? But today is the day I finally can afford a new electric guitar!
I walk downstairs after getting dressed and ready.
"Hey mom"
"Hi honey! Your dad is already at the shop but kenny won't be there for an hour or two Oh, and I got a little surprise for you!" She tells me
"Huh?"
She turns around and pulls out the new electric guitar I've been wanting. I practically have stars in my eyes.
"I went ahead and got you the new guitar you've been wanting! This will come out of your paycheck so you'll work for no pay today. What do you think?"
"Mom... I'm starstruck.." I tell her,still gleaming "I don't know what to say.. thank you so much!"
"You're welcome, now go to work young man!"
I nod and take the guitar with me. You know so I won't have to go all the way back home for when I show the guys. You think I wouldn't show off? Ha, have you meet me? I think I'm gonna name her. Maybe Beth? Or meth heheh. That shits great. Maybe Angelina? After Angelina Jolie. Yeah it's perfect.
I walk into the shop with my dad at the counter. I walk into the back room and set down my guitar and my bag. I put my apron off and go to work. Today was busy so it didn't help when Kenny showed up late.
"Well, Well, well look who's working over time today." I say as he walks in.
"Aw I'm so sorry Tweek I had the craziest day."
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"It's fine just don't let it happen today. We're swamped!" My dad tells him
"Go in the back and hurry up with these 12 orders!" I say over the voices of all the people trying to make themselves the loudest.
"But-"
I interrupt Kenny with "Go! Go! Go!"
These busy days give me the worst anxiety and it definitely doesn't help that I won't be paid today. But I would have just spent the money on Angelina, that's right I called her by her name instead of just saying my guitar. Bet you weren't expecting that.
The clock finally hits three and I leave. I take off my apron, pick up my bag and grab Angelina. Time to hit the road to Craig's house. I knew they were all going to be hanging out there because of the group chat yesterday. I haven't checked those messages in a while.
Once I finally get to his house, which he live s farther away then I expected, I walk up to his room. I kick down the door and close my eyes while I scream song lyrics and play on my sweet new guitar. C'mon don't act like you wouldn't do the same thing to your best friends.
"AND IM JUST A TEENAGE DIRTBAG BABY YEAH IM JUST A TEENAGE DIRrrt..."
I trail my words after I wisk around and see Craig sitting with a blanket in his desk chair. Token and Clyde were right next to him, token on his left side, Clyde on his right. Token was holding tissues, it looked like he was.. crying? Holy shit. I've never seen Craig cry before. I can't believe I just realized that. His eyes were the reddest I've ever seen with anyone and his tears left marks on his face, they looked wet and heavy.
"No. No no no. I don't need anymore people seeing me cry. Clyde and my mom were enough. No."
"Woah what happened?!" I ask while setting down my guitar and sitting on his bed.
"We don't know he won't tell us." Token said
"Um.. I- um" Craig started "Kenny cheated on me"
I feel a rage boil inside me. A feeling I haven't felt in a long time. I saw he serious? My blood boils heavily. Clyde looks shocked at me and token while token just looks even sadder.
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Craig sniffs " I mean it wouldn't have been that bad if he didn't cheat on me with. My own. Cousin."
"Wait what do you mean?" Clyde asks.
"He cheated on me with red." Craig tells us
My anger only grows. Does he not know Red and Wendy are dating! Why would kenny cheat on him! There's no need too! What Kenny thinks he can do better!? Please!
"What happened?" Token asks
"Well I got him some groceries and once I walk in his room he was there with red. "
"What did you do?" Clyde asks
"What else would I do? I flipped him off and ran away."
.. there's a lull..
"I gotta go."
"Wait Tweek where are you-" Craig asks but I'm already out the door.
Once I finally get out of Craig's house I run towards the coffee shop. Kenny is working late since he wa- Wait. I stop in my tracks in realization. Kenny was late because of the whole cheating thing it all makes sense! I start running again trying to forget the fact that I just now realized that.
"KENNY. OUTSIDE ALLEY. NOW." I stomp out of tweak Bros and get to the back alley.
"Oh shit."
Kenny comes out looking horrified. He must know that I know the new information.
"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING"
"Twee-"
"WITH RED?!?" I yell at him "YOU DO KNOW THATS CRAIGS COUSIN RIGHT?!?"
"Yes.."
"GOD YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT!" I turn around and see a disgusted mom with a four year old "sorry ma'am" I wave.
Once she leaves I go back to yelling at Kenny.
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?ASDFGHJKLKJS"
"Okay. Tweek. Tweek I can explain."
"Okay go ahead asshole!"
He just stands there
"WELL?!? IM WAITING" I shout at him "WHY DID YOU DO IT?!"
"I- I don't know I'm sorry"
"You shouldn't be apologizing to me"
he falls to the ground with his face in his hands "are you going to fire me?"
"No. I'm not a monster. But I do know what it feels like to be cheated on. Kenny."
"Tweek how many times do I have to apologize?"
"You can apologize all you want but that doesn't ju-" I turn around and see Clyde jogging towards us
"What the hell aren't you supposed to be comforting Craig?" I ask
"After you left he kicked me and token out so I came here to defend my boy"
"I swear to FUCKING GOD IF YOU ARE TAKING KENNYS SI-" I yell but Clyde interrupts me with
"I would never do that to Craig. You know that."
"Okay back to you kenny. You do know you just destroyed two PERFECTLY FINE RELATIONSHIPS" I sigh "I mean do you know what I would do to be with him..."
"Wait two relationships?" Kenny asks
"You do know that red and Wendy are dating right? Or should I say were."
"Oh my god they were?" He says putting his face in his hands again. I thought he might even tear up. But I didn't care he deserved this.
"Oh So you're sad and feel guilty about red and Wendy's relationship but not your own" I say passive aggressively
"I do! I do feel guilty about you and Craig!"
"Yeah then why did you cheat on another person huh?" I say
"Wait, What?" Clyde asks "I'm confused, what's going on?"
I sigh "remember when Craig was out sick so we went to see what was wrong with him? And I saw him and Kenny cuddling and I got like really mad."
"Yeah I asked why you got that mad and you just like ...button mashed in real life"
"Well the reason I got so mad is kenny and I kinda dated for like two weeks"
"Oh man! Why did it end so quickly?" Clyde asked
I give a little fake laugh and cross my arms "Yeah kenny? Why did it end so quickly?"
"I cheated on him" kenny says blankly.
"Oh you fucking douchebag" Clyde says. I feel so bad for Clyde. It's not like he can date kenny. That's his best friends ex. If I dated Craig no problem me and Kenny haven't talked for a year. But Clyde? He can't even look him directly in the eyes. He hasn't been able too since him and Craig got together.
This whole thing just kinda sucks for everybody
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