Eva cautiously approached Ulrich's table, Bernard in tow.

"You should hear some of the stories this man has to tell," said Bernard. "He's seen all the corruption and repression of the nobles first hand, he has."

"You must be the famous cleric," said Ulrich, standing up and offering his hand to Eva.

Eva looked at the hand, and then glared at Bernard. "Famous?"

Bernard held his hands up in a placating gesture. "We only mentioned once or twice that there was a learned cleric helping us out, I swear! No names. No details."

Eva sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Is the office upstairs free?" she asked.

"Yeah, no one much uses it other than you," he said. "I usually just do the sums for the pub ledgers and such in the back room."

"Right," said Eva. "Then I'll talk to you upstairs."

This last statement was directed at Ulrich who did a theatrical sort of who, me? gesture before stepping away from the table to follow Eva, saying a quick goodbye to his companions.

"Do you want me to bring some drinks up for you or anything?" asked Bernard.

"No," snapped Eva. "No one else is to come upstairs until I say so."

"Roger, Sister," said Bernard, with a salute.

The upstairs office was a small, musty room that seemed like it was mostly used for storage. Eva cleared several boxes from off the top of the old desk and dusted the surface with the sleeve of her robe before taking her seat and gesturing for Ulrich to take his.

Sitting behind the desk, in this kind of a situation, thought Ulrich, smiling to himself. An amusingly petty gesture of authority. Not that it matters much. Let her have this.

Ulrich obediently sat opposite Eva. The old wooden chair creaked as he sat, but it didn't seem like it would break under his weight.

"Who the hell are you?" said Eva.

"Thank you," said Ulrich.

"For what?" snapped Eva.

"For respecting me enough to not do your kindly sister of the church act," said Ulrich.

Eva clicked her tongue.

"As for who I am," said Ulrich. "My name is Ulrich Vend. And I'm sure it's already obvious who I work for."

"Hmm," said Eva. "How exactly are you related to her, then?"

"I'm her maternal uncle," said Ulrich. "Although you'd be surprised how many people fail to notice the family resemblance when I'm in my butler uniform. But you know all about how a good uniform can make the casual observer see a role and not a person, don't you?"

Eva narrowed her eyes. "Why would you tell me all this so easily?"

"Because," said Ulrich, leaning forward in his chair. "My niece, your friend, the Bishop, the Emperor... They all live in a world of shine and glitter, where people smile at each other while carrying knives behind their backs. But you and I, we may work in that glittering world, but we live down here in the muck, where the smiling people don't bother hiding the knives. Why not be honest with each other?"

"Fine," said Eva. "Then what is it you want from me?"

"To be your ally!" said Ulrich.

Eva looked at him skeptically.

"I mean it," said Ulrich. "My niece thinks a well-timed word can change the world. And that may well be, but to overthrow an empire you need more than a well-timed word or even a well-placed assassin. You need an army. That's why you came to the capital to look for noble allies in the first place, isn't it?"

"What makes you think I don't already have an army?" asked Eva.

"Come on, now," said Ulrich, leaning back. "The church has a good amount of political power and social influence, but its members are clerics and scholars. None of them know how to wield a sword. And this—" Ulrich gestured around him. "—rabble of working class discontents isn't about to solidify into a real peasant uprising without a serious disaster or a highly charismatic leader—ideally both, and you don't have either at the moment. And the elves. Well, they do have an army, but they're currently a bit busy defending their homeland from destruction. But the nobility... Even the lowest ranked aristocrat maintains their own private security force. Trained and organized. Professional fighters."

Eva tapped her fingers on the desk. "Assuming everything you've said is true," said Eva. "And assuming I was looking for an army... why would I want to work with you?"

"Well, I'm sure your first choice would've been to ally with someone like... Grand Duke Marshal," said Ulrich. "After all, he commands the Imperial Guard as well as his own private forces. But I can tell you, our forces have something that the Duke's forces don't."

"And what's that?" asked Eva, impatiently.

Ulrich grinned. "They were trained by me. So they know how to kick the other guy where it counts."

Eva snorted.

"Ah!" said Ulrich, pointing. "That's a laugh! Does that mean I successfully broke the tension? Come on now, let's be friends."

Eva shook her head. "You still haven't told me why you would possibly want to work with me," said Eva. "Lady Cor... Your niece has always been the Emperor's biggest supporter, and she has more to lose than anyone if he loses power."

"Yeah, but..." Ulrich shrugged. "Those two... they get along so well, don't they? You must've seen it. I don't care about political power. I just want my niece to be happy. Don't you feel the same way about your friend?"

Eva stared at Ulrich for a moment. He looked for all the world like a friendly, open-hearted old man. If it weren't for the massive eye scar there would be no hint of his past as a scoundrel.

What a transparent attempt to get me to drop my guard, thought Eva. Ah, well. He makes a strong argument, and I was planning to ally with Lady Corvina for Anne's sake anyway. Let him have this.

"Fine," said Eva. "Let's be allies."

Ulrich clapped his hands together. "Excellent news! Now let's go back down to the pub and have a pint together. To cement our friendship."

"I don't think I should..." said Eva.

"Oh come on," said Ulrich. "Drinks are on me. Let your hair down a little..." He glanced at Eva, who always wore her hair down. "So to speak. It'll be fun!"

Well, it is my day off, though Eva.

Collette threw open the doors to her store and strode in confidently. "Welcome to Equinox! The finest haberdashery in the whole of the Wyernwolf Empire."

It was a small, but very fine-looking men's boutique. Everything was made of dark wood paneling. The shop floor was dotted with mannequins dressed in fine men's suits of every color, and the walls were covered in hanging hats and racks full of ties.

The store was busy at this time of day, and the other patrons all stared and pointed and whispered.

Anne had insisted on not wearing a hood to cover her ears. Everyone knew now anyway, so why bother hiding it anymore? In a show of solidarity, Agis hadn't covered his ears, either, although he seemed a quite nervous with all those humans looking at him.

A fastidious looking young man hurried up to them with a bow. "Your ladyship, it's always a pleasure to see you. Perhaps I can show you through to the private fitting room?"

"Thank you, Joey!" said Collette, who was obviously unbothered by the attention.

The private fitting room looked more or less like a fancy parlor, with couches and chairs and a small coffee table. The only thing that set it apart as a fitting room was the wall of mirrors.

Mirrors were rare and expensive in this world, and since she had arrived here Anne had only seen small hand mirrors or wall mirrors the size of a portrait. A whole wall of mirrored glass was an incredible luxury. Anne was mesmerized. Agis seemed uncomfortable.

"How are you supposed to relax, staring at yourself the whole time?" he asked.

"Shall I fetch you tea while you look through the catalog?" asked Joey.

"Yes, thank you," said Collette.

"Very well," said Joey. "Then I shall take my leave. Countess Vostelmal. Lady Tulinmal. Saintess. Sir." Joey bowed slightly to each person in turn as he addressed them before leaving the room.

"The catalog's there," said Collette, pointing to a large book on the coffee table. "Feel free to flip through it and see if there's anything you like. I'll also tell Joey to bring in whatever our newest products are. We've got a few hours to kill, you might as well try everything on, just for fun!"

"Alright," said Anne, taking a seat and beginning to flip through the book.

"Is 'mal' a common surname ending in the human language?" asked Agis.

Belle seemed to bristle at the question. "Why do you ask?" she said.

Agis shrugged. "It just seems like every other human we meet is named something-mal."

"That just cause you've met a lot of bastards," said Collette, who was ruffling through some fabrics at the back of the room. "'Mal' is added to the name of illegitimate children of nobility. Didn't you ever wonder why Corvina's surname was Wyernmal and not Wyernwolf, like her father's?"

"Oh," said Anne, looking up from the catalog. "I guess I never thought about it."

"I want to make it clear," said Belle. "That I'm only technically an illegitimate child. My father and mother sincerely love each other and have always been faithful."

"Then what makes you illegitimate?" asked Agis.

Belle glared at him.

"Her parents aren't legally allowed to get married," said Collette. "So even though her parents live together like a married couple, she's technically born out of wedlock."

"My mother's a commoner," said Belle. "And my father is the Duke of Longren. And aristocrats aren't legally allowed to marry commoners. It's a stupid, outdated law. Meant to protect the pure bloodlines of the nobility or some such nonsense. But one day I am going to get that law repealed and then the law will be forced to recognize me as legitimate."

"Technically, you'd probably still legally be a bastard," said Collette. "Since your parents won't be able to get married until after the law gets changed and you're, you know, already alive."

Belle glared at her, and Collette shrugged apologetically.

"I'm sorry, that's awful," said Anne. "I'd be happy to speak in favor of changing the law, if you think the word of a disgraced elven Saintess will help at all."

"Thank you," said Belle, sitting down on one of the chairs in the room.

"For the record, I'm a for-real bastard, through and through," said Collette, wandering back closer to the others. "My father was a womanizing asshole who slept around, and my mother was an actress. My mother died when I was a toddler. My piece of shit father died when I was a teenager, and luckily his declining noble line had absolutely no remaining legitimate male heirs left anywhere in the family tree, so I inherited the title and the property. Then I turned the property into a series of thriving businesses. So now I'm rich, titled, independent, and I can do whatever I want."

"Lucky bastard," muttered Belle, her arms folded.

"That's right!" said Collette, wrapping Bell in a hug. "I'm the luckiest bastard in the whole damn world. Especially since I have such good friends."

Belle and Collette both laughed.

Anne was smiled, wondering why in the world such cool people were left out of the original novel. Either one of them seemed like they could've been the protagonists of their own novels.

"I'm glad Corvina has such good friends," said Anne.

"Well, you're quickly becoming closer to her than any of us, aren't you?" said Collette, reaching over to tap Anne on the shoulder. "It's just a shame you're an orphan and not a bastard."

"Oh," said Anne. "Well, actually... it's true that I was taken in by the church as a foundling, but I'm not really an orphan. I'm the illegitimate daughter of the king of the elves."

Collette and Belle both stared at her in shock.

"Well, Goddess strike me down where I stand," said Collette. "Welcome to the club, girl!"