Chapter 42:

I fling my phone aside, drowning the last bottle of vodka before slamming it hard against the floor as it crashes. Sending pieces of glass flying in every direction, a little cut on my feet can't be compared to the aching pain in my heart. Letting go is damn hard, especially when you're in love with the woman. My life for the past one week has been nothing but misery. My daily routine consisted of drinking to stupor. I'm a terrible person but without Aisha in my life, I'm lost and useless. I have to let her go. These words are the most painful words I could ever tell myself. Nightmares after nightmares of her walking away, waking up in tears and soaked in sweat. I can't count the number of times I stood at the top of the company nor the days I held my breath for long, hoping to maybe drown. Another call makes me look at my phone, Yousuf again. I can't get why the heck he keeps calling. He won the bloody game or whatever he calls it, she's his. Why won't he just end this torture and let me deal with my pains. I groan in annoyance and smash the phone on the floor.

"It's nice to know you're alive." An all too familiar voice says with a sad smile.

"I bet you've been waiting for the day I won't be." I hiss, standing up and walking in a zig zag manner to the cupboard for a glass of Cire Perdue. Opening, I take a big gulp and drop it on the counter.

Yousuf tsks and examines the bottle. "Really? A bottle almost five hundred thousand dollars gets wasted this way."

I look at him indifferently. "Am I not rich? What do you want from me anyway?"

"Well," he starts putting his hands back to his pants pockets. "You need to get your shit together and go to her. She doesn't show it but she misses you a lot. Don't get me wrong, I like her and I would want her back. However, I can't force her to love me. It would be hard at first but don't give up. I made a mistake that can't be undone, so did you. The difference is that she's in love with you not me. I'm sure in time she would forgive you."

I take my time to let the words sink in. She still loves me after all these? It's impossible.

"How sure are you?"

"I know for a fact that you get mad at the person you love for hurting you. When I came back, she wasn't mad at me. I knew that was because she loves you. Look, you're my little brother, my only brother. I'm not saying I regret my actions but I know mum always told us to right our wrongs and she would be happy knowing that you followed her words. Also, I'm sorry. I guess I was just jealous."

His grey eyes reminded me of mum, her smile were exactly like his. How I wished I looked like mum. How I wish I was him. "I've always wanted to be like you. You have this sort of vibe the Malik's didn't." I admit. He chuckles and steps closer. "And I was here, wishing I was you. Ironical isn't it?"

"I guess." I let out a little laugh.

Taking a huge step closer to him. He wraps his arms around me in love, comfort and assurance. And at that moment, I know that I have my brother back.

"I missed you kiddo." He heaves a deep sigh making the sides of my lips crook into a smile.

"And I beat you for the fifth time!" Aliyah jumps and raises her hands in victory.

"Yay!" I fake cheer and take a sip of my cappuccino with extra whipped cream.

This is becoming so boring. Don't get me wrong, I love scrabbles a lot. No one beats me at my favourite board game but I guess today is no luck. Or maybe cos we have been playing this game since 6am.

6. FREAKING. A.M.

This chicken over here called my best friend dragged me downstairs to play Scrabbles for eight hours without potty breaks. But I did get a cup of cappuccino to cheer me up which partially fails.

Losing a baby two weeks ago doesn't help. Feelings don't die overnight. If I hadn't fell that day, I would probably be at the doctor's for my weekly check up. We cleared things up with Yousuf, he apologized for ruining my life and inflicting pain on me. He kept saying that I belong to Omar and he belongs to me. He said that we couldn't live without each other.

Well check twice mate, cos I'm living perfectly fine in sadness.

What misery am I in? How life could completely change in six months. Once upon a time, I loathed that man and I pretty much want to keep it that way. Curse the butterflies in my belly for fluttering at the thought of him.

Where do they seriously come from?

"Get ready, we're going to Mum's for lunch." Aliyah breaks me from my thoughts. I take a quick gulp and go upstairs to take off my PJs, yes I'm still wearing it at 2pm. It's not like I have anywhere to go to.

I take a long cold shower because the earth is a bit warm and I wouldn't want to be sweating like Yasmin looking for a chocolate.

I put on a navy blue Palazzo and bright yellow satin top with yellow scarf. Walking downstairs was unpleasant because what I saw left me dumbfounded. There Aliyah stood blending Lays Chips in the kitchen. Her eyes meet mine with a smile on her lips.

"Come young one!" She drags me to the counter. She empties the blended Lays into a bowl and adds whipped cream. Okay, this is definitely a belly bomb. Taking a spoon full, I moan in sweetness.

THIS. IS. SO. GOOD.

"This is amazing!" I exclaim taking another spoon. She gives me her I-know-I'm-so good-at-this look. "What do you call it?"

"Whipped lays flakes."

"Nice." I take another spoon and leave for her sitting room. She pops her head from the kitchen door. "I'm going to go take a shower!"

In less than ten minutes, we arrive at mom's and rush in because my phone has been flooding with texts from her.

I knock gently waiting for the door to open. The door tears open and smiling Adam stands looking at the girl he's obviously crazy about. "You look amazing." He smiles at her.

If she wasn't dark skinned, I'm sure her cheeks would be pink. She's dressed in a light pink high neck floral gown with off white turban. She looks amazing, of course she does, oh I get it. She knew he was gonna be hear that's why she got all dressed up. Little witch.

I roll my eyes and walk past him. "Peace be upon you too."

"Oh sorry, I didn't see you. Peace be upon you."

"But you saw the lady behind me. Yeah right? What are you doing here anyway?"

"Mum invited us."

"Us?" I turn to look at him in question.

"Hi." A well too familiar voice says behind me.

I walk up to him with a smile, "Let me guess, Mum invited you too."

"I think she missed me." He grins childishly.

I roll my eyes again. "You wish."

I walk from Yousuf, further into the sitting room to meet Mum. Instead I'm greeted with pair of brown eyes.

"What are you doing here?" I snap harshly at him.

Then, mum walks in with a sad smile. "I invited him." I look back at him, glaring at the man I hate.

"We're here to resolve this issue once and for all."

"There's nothing to resolve! I don't want to see him ever!" I hiss as my heart beats rapidly. Even if Mum is talking, I don't think I would even hear a word because of the loud thuds of my heartbeat that's about to burst open my chest.

"Aisha! Sit and we can talk about it." Mum says taking the chair next to him. I look at the devil whose eyes are locked on the table.

I can't sit, how can I sit next to the monster that broke me, stabbed me a million times. I take a step backward, shaking my head in refusal. "He killed my baby."

"He didn't, he would never intentionally kill your baby. Don't forget that it was his baby too, he didn't even know your were pregnant. Please listen to him."

"Did he listen to me when I begged him to, he pushed me aside and told me to leave. No amount of words can make me go back to him, ever!"

Before mum could speak again, the devil himself beat her to it. "I'm sorry. I have no explanation for my stupid and selfish doings. I really have no excuse for my actions. I'm deeply sorry for hurting you. All I tried to do was push you away, I didn't realise that the thicker the wall I was creating, the more I loved you and craved for you. I want you Aisha, I need you, nobody else. I thought that maybe, just maybe if I was with Jenny, I would forget you. But it became hard, so damn hard that I kept making you cry. All along, I thought that I wanted you to be by my side. But, I was wrong. I don't care where I end up in, this time I want to be the one by your side, in your circle because I can't live without you." He pauses, eyes straining into mine.

"I'm a fool for making you weep, an idiot for being with Jenny and a stupid moron for not realising this sooner, for not being aware that I completely belong to you. Call me your property, I don't care. Your smile is so intoxicating it makes me say goodbye to all the liquors I took in the past. You're so perfect, perfection feels hurt. Your flaws, scars are dead gorgeous. You made me a good Muslim, a better person in life and I wasn't grateful. No matter the number of times I pushed you away, you didn't give up on me. You're right, I'm responsible for the death of our child and I would never forgive myself for that. I know I'm a jerk, an annoying cocky man to you, I know I'm. But to me, you're life itself. I've been useless without you. I want you Aisha, I need you. Please give me another chance, I promise to be the best version of myself. Please give me a chance to right my wrongs. I promise you won't regret it."

No one has ever said these words to me, never in my life have I been so hurt, loved and never have I been so much in love with someone. He didn't sound like the Omar I know, he sounds different, true, sorry. But he caused me so much pain. My eyes stings with tears at the thought of everything he has done to me, the stupid rules, my baby.

As if reading my mind, mum speaks up. "He didn't kill your baby. Please forgive him Aisha."

"Mum I can't, not after everything he has done to me."

"I know it hurts a lot, it's crushing you from inside. But it's better to live a fulfilled life than a contended one and you without the other is a half life stained with sadness. You think your dad and I didn't fight? You think I didn't feel like leaving sometimes. But you all kept me going, the beautiful memories did. At some point in life, the people you love will hurt you, it's up to you to let those wonderful memories go or hang on to those times and beat the pain together. It takes two to fight and two to love. Life's always going to try to bring you down, get in the ring and face it head on." Mum concludes, her eyes a bit teary with faint pain. My mum is in pain because of me. I would never hurt my mum. I would do anything for her, even if it means going back to Omar.

"I know everything."

"Everything?" Did he tell mum about the rules and all. Mum nods as if she just read my mind.

The cat's out of the bag!

I swallow the pain and fake a smile, blinking my eyes fast to keep the tears in. Burying the pain hurts a lot, but if it's for mum, I have to do it. "Okay."

Their faces lights up in happiness. "You're giving me a second chance?" Omar asks unbelievably.

"Yeah." I say avoiding his eyes and taking the sit next to mum.

"Thank you."

Yousuf sits next to Omar which is directly facing me. Adam takes the seat next to Yousuf and Aliyah takes my right.

After lunch, I offer to wash the dishes and Omar offers to rinse and dry off. Throughout our work, he doesn't say a word, he must've sensed my apathy for a conversation. I'm grateful he did cos if he had so much said a word, I don't think I had be able to control myself from cutting his head off.

"Have patience my child." Mum kisses my cheeks as we say our goodbyes.

We all leave the house and go our different ways and by that I mean, Yousuf leaving for a meeting, Aliyah completely ditching me for Adam and Omar staying in one spot. I'm fine with the depart because at least I have the apartment to myself. It was good until the annoying jerk decided to open his big fat mouth. "Um, so are we going to our...our house?" He asks innocently.

So let me rephrase that. I was fine with the depart and I almost had the apartment to myself.

I frown and don't reply as I mentally curse him and go to his car, shutting it in anger. His flat face holds no certain emotion at the time he drives me to Aliyah's to get my things. When we get back to his, it's past five. I take a quick shower and change into comfy sweatpants and a T-shirt. I put on my long hijab and pray.

I jump on the bed immediately after prayer for a little rest when a knock disrupts my peace. "What?" I ask from where I lay, not giving him the opportunity to come in.

"I was wondering if you maybe want-"

"No!" I yell harshly, cutting short whatever it was he had in mind. I hear him heave a long sigh and walk away. Just then, my phone vibrates and I'm forced to shift my gaze from the door to my Faisal's call. I press the phone against my ear and grunt in reply.

"I know you're a horse, no need to show that off. Are you free tomorrow."

I laugh in response. "Yeah why?"

"We're going to the movies tomorrow. Aliyah and her not as handsome as I boyfriend are in. Now, you in or what?"

"Do I get free ice cream." I beam with excitement.

I can imagine him rolling his eyes. "Tell your husband to get you that. You in?"

"Yup."

"Nice, I'll kidnap you at five."

"Good way to make me look forward to that moment Charming." I say sarcastically.

"Bye, Mrs Handsome Billionaire."

"Bye Loverboy."

He cuts the call and I settle back on the bed.

After what seems like hours of rest, I take out my laptop and work on my designs for a runway show in the next two weeks. With my head buried in work, I'm not aware of how fast time passes until I hear the adhan. I stretch my body and pray.

Immediately after wudu, a knock again interrupts me.

"Dinner's ready, you want me to bring it up or-"

"I'm not hungry!" I yell again, but this time, not too harsh as I go back to work.

Even if I accept that he didn't intentionally kill my baby because he was oblivious of my pregnancy as I was. It doesn't change the fact that he hurt me and this time, I won't forgive him so easily.

After thirty minutes of work, my belly grumbles and for the first time that day, I unlock the door and go to the kitchen. Opening the fridge, I bring out two eggs to fry with bread. I start frying the egg as I wait for the bread to toast so I can take it with a hot cup of cocoa.

"You hungry?" A voice asks from behind me. I don't turn to face him but ignore him and continue frying my eggs.

"I kept some food for you." He says again, trying to get my attention. I didn't know he kept food for me, how thoughtful. Even if I knew that he did, I wouldn't care.

"Did you hear me?"

"I have ears." I say flatly and place the fried eggs in between slices of toast bread. I move on to make the hot cocoa.

"Then why won't you eat it."

"I don't want to, I'm capable of making my own food. It's not like I begged you to." I know I'm probably acting like a bitch, okay I'm definitely acting like a bitch. But I kind of like it, okay I totally like it.

I place everything in a tray and head upstairs before I'm stopped by Omar.

"What?" I snap at him.

His lips twitches into a little frown, his hazel brown eyes staring right into my dark ones. "Why are you punishing me this way? You're driving me crazy. Please I'm sorry, I thought you forgave me."

I step aside from him, glaring at him with hatred and distaste.

"I'm driving you crazy? I'm glad. Bravo, your speech was beautiful. Unfortunately, your words mean nothing to me. I'll never forgive you for what you did to me. I hate you. You disgust me."

With that, I walk upstairs and shut my door. How does it feel Omar to be attacked with your own words?