I can't believe what I saw back there. Even Jadon has never acted that childish. He has had the occasional tantrum, yes, but never like that.

Lucas just sat there like he was shocked she would act that way. I can tell he lets her get away with it regularly. She's the type to apologize through a blowjob or something instead of using her words and actions to make things right.

Maybe that works for them, maybe that's why Lucas wants to marry someone like her. She will bend over and let him do whatever he wants to her body. It was stupid of me to stand there in his house and think about perfect little families and whatnot before Katrina came out.

Lucas would never look twice at me with the fucking glamazon he has at home waiting for him. Sure, he has to deal with some spoiled princess tantrums occasionally, but if he gets to bend her over the bed in some acrobatic twisty move whenever, hey, whatever works.

He's been staring into my eyes now for nearly a minute. Or ten. I lost count after about three seconds. I feel like he can see inside my head and hear my thoughts.

He licks his bottom lip and I really want to pull my hands away from him. I'm feeling things and I need to stop.

"Please..." he whispers, "Please let me make this up to you."

Engaged, supposedly. He failed to mention that today. If anything, he seemed like he was one foot out the door, but here he is, telling her he'll marry her. Then she'll want kids and find a way to push us out of his life with the baby he chooses to make with her. The freaking gorgeous model children they'll have.

"You don't owe me anything, Lucas. Just focus on Jadon and do right by him."

"I can't just worry about him, Allie, I..." he drops my hands and grabs my cheeks. His thumbs press into the stupid tears that are obviously caused by the sun or something. Maybe PMS. I'll just say that. "I can't do anything but make this right for you. Everything is my fault, and I don't know how else to apologize. You can say I don't owe you anything, but I do. I owe you everything. You're the one who had it hard while I was running around living my life, and we can't ever get that time back."

"Lucas, it's fi-"

"Stop!" His hands grip me a little tighter, but not in a rough way. "Stop saying I don't owe you anything, because I do, Allie. Sure we 'made' this perfect child, but you're the one who has been making him into who he is becoming.

"I stood there, watching how the two of you act with one another, and can't help but feel like shit for not being there for him. For you. I wish...I wish I could have been there in the hospital, been there for every diaper change, every feeding, his first steps, his first words, but I can't."

His hands are trembling, but he doesn't let go. "I also wish I could have been there for you. For every weird pregnancy craving, I wish I could have felt every kick...Fuck! I wish I could find the person that hit you. You know what I was doing back then? While my son was fighting for his life? I was partying it up, trying to get laid, thinking about me. My future was in the hospital, and you were there, alone, not even sure he would survive."

The tears are streaming down my face without stopping. He continues to wipe them away with his thumbs, but whatever ones are in my eyes are making it hard to see.

"Allie, I wish I wasn't such an asshole to you and that I could have had the chance to be with you. I wish that I meant all the things I said to you that night, but I didn't."

Wow, think I hadn't figured that out yet?

"But if I could go back, I wouldn't change a thing. I wouldn't ruin the possibility of being here with you right now. Allie..."

Those mismatched pleading eyes are asking me for something, only I'm not sure what it is.

"If I was here, would things have worked between us? Would you have been open to the possibility of you and me over some childhood crush?"

My mouth falls open. He waits and I watch the featherlight movement in his jaw.

"You're asking if...?"

"If you would have given me a second chance. Or if we had met the right way, would you have looked twice at me?"

I swallow the lump in my throat. My hands are shaking and I know my heart is beating like a wild drum in my chest. He's asking if I would have given him a chance? "Yes."

Lucas leans forward, his lips barely touching mine, while he whispers against me. "Let me make this right for us." Suddenly his lips are crashing onto mine. I try to pull back, but he just holds me tighter. I slowly give in and let his tongue slide freely over mine. It isn't dominating; it's just different from anything I've ever had. Hungry.

Gosh, this feels... That's just it. I feel something in this kiss.

His hands move down to my lower back, grasping the fabric of my dress tightly. He walks us two steps backward until I hit the counter, and he lifts me up, setting me on the cold tile. His lips travel from mine to my cheek, my jaw, then down my neck.

Then he stops.

"I'm sorry," he says lowly into my neck. I just pull his face up to mine, trying to understand why he's apologizing now. "I shouldn't do this to you, again."

"Do what? Are you planning on dumping me out on the driveway again? I know how to get home from here."

The dry chuckle from him is all I needed in order to say what I need to say. It's sudden, but I can't feel anything outside of what's happening right here. Like he really does want this more than anything.

"I want this, Lucas. I want you." It feels so natural and right to say. Should that mean something?

Without another word, Lucas grabs my hips and pulls them closer to him, wrapping my legs around his waist. He starts kissing me again, and I wrap my hands around his neck, twirling his hair in my fingers. Lucas lifts me up from the counter and starts walking toward the stairs. He nearly trips on one of Jadon's toys, but quickly recovers, and rushes up the stairs.

I giggle, but he growls and bites down on my lip. "Watch it, missy."

He hurries up the stairs as quietly as possible until he makes it to my door. Jadon's door is open, so he quietly walks over and has me pull it closed.

Lucas lays me down on my bed and hovers over me. The intense gaze starts to intimidate me when I think about how I've basically only done this once, and how he's an expert. A sexpert? Do they have those? "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asks. I nod my head.

"I need words, Allie"

"Lucas, I want this." I've just had this idea that he wouldn't really see me as more than what happened that one time.

He backs up and takes me in, and then I can feel the nerves creeping in. "Relax," he smiles and suddenly I'm fine. He takes one of my feet in each hand, holds up one of my legs by the ankle, and kisses it all the way up to my knee. If he were to look, he would definitely see what's under my dress. And I'm nervous again.

Yep, he's looking. I can tell. I can feel his eyes on me.

The electrifying tips of his fingers slowly trail up to my hip while his lips are slowly moving up the inside of my thigh. "Don't be nervous, Allie. You're so beautiful."

His eyes are on me, hungry for more. I want this, I want Lucas.

He sets my leg back down on the bed and takes his shirt off. His muscles are hard from his chest down to his hard-cut abs. Of course they look perfect up close. He has a tattoo on his chest that says finis vitae sed non amoris.

"What does that mean?"

He looks down. "End of life, but not of love. It's for my mom."

"Oh," is all I can get out before he crawls back over me and kisses me again. This, I can handle. I know what I'm doing.

Rather, I thought I did. This is like more than kissing. It's better.

His hands move the bottom of my dress up to my hips while he kisses me deeper, his tongue finding mine. I'm nervous about the fact I'm not what he's used to. Experienced and in perfect condition.

But he acts like it doesn't matter to him.

The sound of a car door shutting outside forces me out from under him. "My dad's home, Lucas." I can hear his whistling as he makes his way inside. "I can't..."

Oh my gosh.

Ted.

That's cheating. I kissed Lucas... and he touched things...

Oh no.

"I need to go."

"Allie, wait--"

I don't even know where I'm going, but I can't do this with him. I have Ted. He has Kat. We cheated. We cheated with each other.

This is so messed up.