Jayden's POV

A wave of nostalgia hit me when I saw her running out of the gates before anyone could stop her. It reminded me of something similar which happened two years ago.

Helena.

This was the same thing Helena did. We argued and she left in anger. I didn't follow her like I just did with Isabella. This is because I don't want fate to repeat itself again.

I doubt if I can ever find my peace if the same thing happens to Isabella.

Sitting right in front of the car, I stare up at the house, relieved that she is here and not somewhere else. I followed her for two reasons. To be sure that she is fine and to know where she is going.

I heave a deep sigh before going into the car to drive to Gabriel's place. His call came in earlier while I was driving and following the cab Isabella brought to her Grandma's place. I couldn't pick up but I called him immediately I got here to ask if he was home.

I have been here for several minutes. I don't know if it's because Isabella left the house or she is angry but I feel miserable.

The car roars to life and I drive away from the house, deep in thoughts.

I am doing this for us. For her. I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to disappoint her but she isn't seeing my effort.

Being attractive to her isn't the right thing for me. I am bound to be this way for life. Helena would never be happy if I went against my vows to her. She deserves one last respect and that is what I want to give her.

To be honest, Isabella makes me happy but at the end of each day, being happy brings a sense of guilt in my chest that I have tried so hard to eliminate all to no avail.

How can I be happy? I am doomed to be this way for life, aren't I?

Ever since I went to Italy and we had sex, I have been happier than I have ever been in the two years since Helena died.

I sigh heavily and take my mind off everything as I drive closer to Gabriel's place. Isabella needs some time to herself. She will be back soon.

The gate opens and I drive in to meet Gabriel in the courtyard on a call. I can't see his clingy wife next to him and this is the reason why I am here. I wouldn't want to invite him to my place by this time of the night when Sabrina would be at home and in need of him.

They don't have a maid because Sabrina despises them. She prefers to do the house chores by herself. After a few months of their marriage, she employed an elderly maid who usually comes in every weekend to do everything for her.

I am sure she does not despise them for no reason. It is because of Gabriel's waywardness and I can see signs that he is changing already.

"Hey, man", he drops the call as I climb down from the car. He gives me a side brief hug and pulls away to notice my expression. "Is everything ok? You sounded off earlier…"

"Isabella is gone", I cut him short, feeling the dampness in my heart again.

"Gone?" Confusion skates his expression. "Gone to where?"

I don't know where to start and how to tell him how a lot has changed in just two nights in a row.

His hands touched my shoulder, pulling me back to life. "Let's go and sit over there."

He motions to the verandah and we walk there. After sitting numbly on the wooden chair, Gabriel face me again.

"What happened?"

"You won't believe it", I say instead, avoiding his gaze and taking my mind back to what happened in Italy two nights ago.

He chuckles lightly and that lifts my spirit a little. Gabriel is the most understanding person I have ever met. If no one understands me, he will and he is always supportive.

"Why won't I believe it? Did you two have sex or what?" He asks and I become embarrassed. Lowering my head, I find myself biting my lips. I am not embarrassed because Isabella and I had sex, I am embarrassed because I was holding firmly on to the principle of no strings attached and now I have gone against my own principle.

I was so confident that I would never be attracted to any woman to even have sex with her. What I was avoiding was a seductress woman who wouldn't make being celibate easy.

If I had gotten married to the woman his wife got to me, then maybe this wouldn't have become a problem. It would just be a fling and we can have sex for as long as we want without any emotional attachment. After a year, she would be gone. That is what she wanted after all and the reason why she didn't agree to my terms.

Sex.

But doing this with Isabella feels wrong because she is emotionally attached and I can't believe she actually confessed her feelings to me last night.

She wasn't embarrassed and my mouth was agape. She laughed shortly and told me not to say anything yet till I was sure.

That got me thinking, hence this resolution to end whatever emotional trouble I am causing or would be causing in the future for Isabella.

And I.

Gabriel gasps. "Don't tell me you two had sex?"

I look up slowly to see the shock on his face and his jaws dropping open in shock. Gabriel knows me. He knows how determined I can be.

He must be wondering what happened that I let my guard down. My embarrassment intensifies.

"Yes, we did."

"What the hell!" He shouts. "What happened? How did it happen? Is that why she left?"

"Yes", I reply calmly and lean back on the wooden chair with my arms folded and a sigh leaving my mouth for the umpteenth time.

Silence ensues and I am wondering what is going on in his mind.

"She told me she loved me last night…"

"What?" He cut me short with his exclamation.

"...but I couldn't bring myself to say anything to her. This marriage is a contracted one and we have to be divorced after a year. I told her that the sex was a mistake and she left the house in anger."

"Oh, my God, Jayden! How could you do such a thing?!" He laments bitterly, hitting my shoulder.

I snap my head to see the disapproval on his face. "What do you mean?"

"How could you say such a thing to a woman? And by this time of the day? Do you know where she is now? Are you sure she is fine?" Worry skates his expression. "Shit!"

"I just thought I should stop what is going on between us. I don't want to hurt her, Gabriel. She doesn't even know this is the reason why I am doing this."

"Really?" He asks with heavy sarcasm. "Why are you doing this then? Tell me."

"Can't you see it? There are a lot of reasons why we shouldn't do this. First, she confessed her feelings for me when there should be no strings attached and then we had sex which is against the rules of the contract…, are these not enough reasons…"

"How do you feel?"

"Miserable!" I answer shortly and he shakes his head, watching me carefully with an intense gaze.

"How do you feel about her?"

"What?!" I exclaim. I can't believe he is asking me this. How do I feel about her? "Nothing."

"Nothing?" I nod meekly like a schoolboy. "Then why are you bothering yourself over why she left if you feel nothing towards her."

"That is because we still have months to go before the end of the contract. What do I say to Mother and everyone else about my wife going missing in just a few months of our marriage? Can't she just be patient till after a year? This will ruin it all, it will ruin my plan to get divorced after a year and be free again."

Gabriel does not say anything. Instead, he continues to stare at me intensely.

"Why did you have sex with her?" He asks all of a sudden and I find myself stuttering.

"Well…I..don't know…it just happened, I was drunk…"

"Shut up!" He growls at me in anger, shooting to his feet. "Not only did you make her feel cheap but also used. How could you have sex with her when you knew this wouldn't be real? You had sex with her because you were drunk? If that is it, then she can sue you for rape."

"What?!" I exclaim in shock. What is he talking about?

"Yes. That girl is too good for you, man. You shouldn't have ruined this. Why are you so obsessed with your past?"

"I don't know what you are talking about", I rise up from the chair.

Coming here was a bad idea. I should have just gone home. Gabriel is not understanding today of all days and I am sure it is probably because he likes Isabella. Sabrina likes her too and they might want this thing between us to be real.

That is not possible.

"You know what? I never thought you were selfish until tonight. Now that she is gone, all you care about is how to make her come back so that she can go on pretending to be your wife in public and also pretending in the house as if nothing happened between you two just because you have something to achieve. How can you be so selfish, Jayden? This is definitely not the Jayden I know. You shouldn't have gotten yourself drunk or whatever and had sex with her. You have ruined it. If you don't feel anything for her, then let the poor girl be!"

Anger stabs my insides and I find myself balling my fist to calm my nerves.

"You know what? Coming here was a bad idea. Thank you for your time."

That did the trick. He suddenly goes silent and I see regrets flashing across his expression.

I shouldn't have come here. He has dampened my spirit more instead of lifting it.

Isabella and I shouldn't forget the reason why we are here. We are in this situation because we both wanted it, not something else.

We should stick to what we want without any distractions. If only life could be this planned and not messed up.

I walk past him and take long strides toward my car, blaming myself for just one thing.

For messing up.

Having sex with her messed everything up and I am ready to prove to everyone that it was nothing but a mistake.

****

I had the intention of giving you another update. Even if I don't have it, you all have a way around your words and you know how to persuade me to drop another chapter.

Enjoy your hate for Jayden. See you tomorrow.

💓