"So, although science says our heart has nothing to do with the human understanding of love when we go through heartbreak, that causes our hearts to hurt." I only half-listened as the stocky professor in front of me droned on and on. "I like to believe that the reason might be beyond our standing. If our hearts had no role in forging our emotional attachment, then we shouldn't feel the pain there."

I continued in the half-aware state of being until the third hour of the day struck and I could finally leave the room.

Gathering up my bags quickly, I reached to my left to put away my tape recorder before drawing my hand back, remembering I didn't need it anymore. With a slight shake of my head, I gathered up my thick notebooks, shoving them in my bag, and headed towards the stair steps. When I reached a specific row, I forcefully kept my eyes trained ahead, refraining from looking towards the seat I had sat in for months, and the person sitting in the seat behind it.

I sucked in a much-needed lungful of air, the cool air wrapping around me and releasing the suffocating feeling that had been confining me back in the lecture hall.

When I spotted Hayden and Skylar waiting in our usual spot. I rushed over, plastering a smile on my face. Deep down, I wasn't feeling it.

"This day has been such a drag," Skylar muttered when I reached her, her usual cheery disposition nowhere in sight.

"What happened-"

"I wouldn't poke the bear," Hayden interrupted before I could finish the sentence. I paused when Skylar scowled and turned on Hayden.

"I knew I was gaining weight," she groaned looking truly bothered. He stilled. "You said it yourself, I look like a bear." My eyes widened as I assessed her. Skylar worked out three times a week and was nowhere near having gained any weight.

Hayden's eyes widened, fear encompassing them, and he shook his head. "No baby, that isn't what I meant. I was just saying that-"

"Why did I have to be born a girl? It isn't my fault that Mother Nature came knocking on my door, despite the unwelcome sign I placed there specifically for her. And it isn't my fault that I take on water like a leaky boat whenever she calls."

"Baby, I don't think you are a bear, and I quite like the fact that you were born a girl."

I winced when her frown deepened. Oy Vey.

I swear tears formed in her eyes as she tilted her head up to the sky, and I finally understood what was going on. Fortunately, I had enough expertise to fix this.

"Skylar honey?"

"Yes?"

She walked over to Hayden and engulfing him in a hug. The look of confusion that flitted over his face was comical insight, as he hesitantly wrapped her arms around him. He didn't complete the motion, however, moving his hands to his side when she tilted her head up and glared at him.

"Do you want to skip class and go get ice cream?" I asked, holding back a laugh. "I have been craving that lemon cake flavor and I have no idea why."

My words were an understatement. For reasons beyond my understanding, I had been wanting it all day.

A thoughtful expression floated across Skylar's s face, and she nodded, opening her eyes.

"You can hug me now, Hayden." He wasted no time in wrapping his arms around her again, shaking his head at me to which I just shrugged. Technically, I couldn't judge her. I was just as moody during that time of the month, too. She then eyed me. "Lemon cake? You hate lemons, Ro."

I nodded. That was why it was odd. It didn't help that each time I thought about it I got an odd sense of nostalgia but just didn't know why. Maybe I shouldn't say odd.

It was my normal.

"Yeah, I don't know." I shrugged. "But it is all I have been thinking about all day."

Skylar just shrugged before hugging Hayden again. When I figured Skylar would not move anytime soon, and not feeling comfortable watching my two best friends display of affection I looked to the side. I immediately regretted it, when my eyes locked with the eyes of another.

Unlike all the other times, I didn't look away immediately, but my frown grew when he looked did and kept walking.

"Rowan, did you read your journal?"

I sucked in a breath, shaking my head.

My journal. I had found one I hadn't known I'd lost. it was nestled between my bed in the wall, having fallen without me knowing. The picture sticking out of it had immediately clued me of its contents.

It had been Elijah and I.

I glanced at the worried expression of Hayden with a shake of my head.

"No."

"Do you think that maybe you should?"

He didn't show up. That is enough reason for me not to ."

Hayden shrugged. "I know, and I'm not trying to make things worse, but I think you should read it. You guys are both going through a lot right now. But I think you deserve to know what you guys had. From your own point of view."

"I don't think she should. She has been through enough."

I glanced at Skylar, who was watching me sadly.

"It hurts to see you hurt, Ro."

I mustered a smile, my throat tightening as Hayden's words played in my mind. Both his and her opinions mattered to me. They both also didn't know that nestled inside my backpack, was my journal.

I had tried so many times to read it. But each time, at the last moment, when my eyes were just about to skim a page, I had chickened out.

Did I really want to remember the one thing that I couldn't?

Maybe there was a reason that all of this had happened.

"I am fine. I shouldn't even be hurting still."

"It doesn't change the fact that you are."

I glanced to the sky, taking a deep breath and hoping to relieve the pressure in my chest.

"I don't know if I can talk about this anymore. I am really okay." I took a breath. I don't even know him."

They both eyes me skeptically, but I ignored it, sidestepping their embraced figures.

"When you guys untangle yourselves, meet me at my car and we can go get Ice cream," I called over my shoulder. I had expected to be waiting for a while considering Skylar's state of irritability but turned surprised when I heard shuffling behind me.

I grinned to see that Skylar was now on Hayden's back. A calm smile rested on her face, and I noted that he looked like the king of the world, as they walked towards me, uncaring who was looking at the spectacle.

Turning on my heels, I headed towards the parking lot, determined to enjoy the rest of my day. I had actually been doing pretty well. As the days passed, I had occupied myself with things to do. It was only the times I saw Elijah that disappointment settled.

Still, Skylar and Hayden had been a big help in distracting me. I had even gone on a date two days ago. I didn't know if it counted however because as soon as he had opened his mouth, that opening my own fine arts studio instead of becoming a doctor was irrational, I had determined that it was the last date we would ever go on.

When we finally made it to the car, I sent a quick wave to both Skylar and Hayden, promising to meet them at Andy's, a local custard parlor, before climbing into my car. With a deep breath, I started the engine.

I pressed on the accelerator, my eyes going to the rearview mirror, causing me to slam on my breaks. My heart beating out of my chest, I watched as a short but bulky guy glared at me, before continuing on his path. Even though I knew that technically he had come out of nowhere, and I had a blind spot being that the surrounding cars obstructed my view, I opened my car door and got out to apologize. When I got out, however, he was gone. I was silently thankful that he had left, knowing that I probably would have irritated him further.

When I got back in my car, I let out a deep breath before carefully checking my surroundings and backing out of the parking lot. As I drove to the exit, I couldn't help but feel a slight sense of deja vu. Even though I had never seen that person before, the situation had felt oddly familiar.