Elijah's POV: Three weeks later:

'We went ice skating, didn't we?'

I had messed up.

A harsh sigh left my mouth as I ran my hand through my hair, glaring at my hands. Rowan had remembered something, and I had still walked away.

Hearing her ask the question had been a turmoil I hadn't known before. Everything in me had wanted to tell her, yes. To grasp on to that bit of hope and believe that we could get through this. Without her getting hurt. Without me causing her to hurt anymore.

Instead, I had walked away.

The house was dark, except for a small lamp that I had turned on, and it only set the mood for how I felt inside. I had left for my mom's house immediately after seeing Rowan on campus a few days ago. The look in her eyes still stayed imprinted on my mind and I shook my head, wishing that they had been happier.

I glanced around the living room, my eyes landing on arrays of pictures of me as a little boy. Of Carter, too. There was silence all around, except the steady tickings of the clock mounted on the mantel in the living room. I didn't mind it though. I needed to think. To clear my head.

I brought my head up slowly when I heard the turn of a lock.

"And I told them they could shove their chauvinistic bull crap-"

Eyes flicked to mine, and my mom stopped talking abruptly, a bloodcurdling scream leaving my mom's mouth. My interest in what she had been saying was cut short as the piercing sound cut through me, and even though I knew I was the reason for her fear, my heart rate picked up.

I jumped up, coming out of the dark. When she realized I was in fact her son and not an ax murder, my mom's eyes widened as she brought a hand to her chest.

"What? What is it?" The voice was deep, and one I hadn't heard before.

But my mom, shook her head, stepping to the side.

"Elijah, I swear you will be the death of me one day." She walked into the living room and flicked on the light switch.

"Sorry I came in with the spare key. I tried to call you to let you know."

"It is okay honey. I am afraid that my phone was off."

My eyes fell from her and to the tall middle-aged man who walked in behind her. My mom's eyes flickered from me to him before she cleared her throat. I took him in, noting the protecting hand he had on the small of my mom's back, and the powerful emotion that lay pent up in his eyes as he checked to make sure she was okay.

I'd been right in my assumption when I had visited her before. She was seeing someone.

I took in their attire, noticing the deep purple gown my mother wore and the suit and tie Henry was wearing. Immediately I felt bad, knowing that I had probably interrupted the aftermath of their date.

"Elijah this Henry, the man who I am seeing," She said softly as if assessing my reaction. "Henry, this is Elijah. My son."

Realization dawned on Henry's face, and he took a step forward with a hand outreached. "I have heard so much about you."

"It is nice to meet you," I said, gripping his hand as he gave mine a firm shake. "I am glad that my mom has found somebody to make her happy."

When we both let go, I turned to mom, smiling at her to let her know that it was okay. I knew she had to be worried about how I would take it, but I was happy. No, it elated me. She deserved a happily ever after, even if it wasn't with the man she had thought it would be with.

Mom smiled back at me, her eyes vibrant as she walked further inside and turned on the rest of the lights.

"What brings you here Elijah?" She asked, placing her purse on the counter. "Not that you aren't welcome anytime," she added almost immediately. "I just thought that you would have called before coming."

"I am sorry I should have called first."

"It's okay, you don't have to call, but why are you sitting in the dark-" She trailed off when she walked near me, her mouth widening. "Have you been crying?"

Even though I was confident in my manhood, my eyes flicked to Henry, who looked away almost immediately.

"Henry, do you mind giving us a second?"

"No, Mom it is okay. I interrupted your night. I can go, he doesn't have to-"

"Henry." My mom raised an eyebrow at him, and he laughed, looking anything but annoyed, and stepped out of the room, but not before pressing a kiss to her hair. The interaction caused a small smile to form on my lips. I was glad that she had met someone that understood her. I had a feeling that they would work out perfectly. She then turned to me, crossing her arms in front of her.

"Now what happened Elijah, because I swear I will make whoever hurt you pay. I know I am a little woman, but I can still kick any grown man's behind."

The way her eyebrows furrowed caused me to laugh. Even though her tone suggested otherwise, she looked anything but intimidating.

"Mom, I assure you you will not be needing to fight anyone." Her arms remained crossed in front of her and she eyed me skeptically, before sitting down on the couch."

"Then why were you crying?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but she cut me off.

"And before you go on about how grown men don't cry, I will tell you to know that you can feed that crap to some other mother. As far as I am concerned, you are still my little boy. You might be twenty one, but that doesn't change a thing."

"I wasn't going to deny it," I said. "I didn't come here to dump my issue on you, but I want to talk." I walked over and sat down beside her. "It's about Rowan."

Her eyes widened, and her mouth pressed into a firm line. "Did you tell her?"

I nodded, unable to speak. I felt a hand land on my back as she gave me a loving pat.

I took a deep breath and cleared my throat. "She ended up having some sort of panic attack triggered by reemerging memories, and now she doesn't remember me." I had told my mom about Rowan's issue with retaining memories before I had brought her over, so I was thankful that I didn't have to explain everything in detail. Looking at my mind, I shrugged my shoulders. "She remembers everything but me."

"But she can still remember you, right? It isn't all a lost cause-"

I shook my head, and she shut her mouth. It was just like my Mom to see the positive in any situation. Although I wished that like all the other times she was right, I was afraid that I had ruined that chance. "I told her I didn't want her to waste her time trying."

"Why?" Her eyes were wide as if she couldn't fathom what I had done. There were days when neither could I. "Elijah, she brought life back into you when I thought that there was no chance of it returning. I know you love her, so why would you tell her that."

"Someone told me that I needed to let her go. That I already had caused her enough pain," I said hoarsely, pinching my eyes shut, and staring ahead. My eyes landed on a picture that sent an ache straight to my heart. It was of me and carter, both of us in costumes for Halloween. Even though now I understood he was too old to be trick or treating, I hadn't cared at the time and had made him dress up as Batman. I had been Robin.

I looked away, unable to take the memories that came with the picture. "I want her to be able to live her life, without having to worry about disappointing me." A choked laugh left my mouth as I placed my head in my hands. "She cares about what others feel so much, I know it would kill her for her to be unable to remember. If she couldn't I didn't want to cause that pain."

My mom said nothing as she closed her eyes. I knew what she was thinking when she wrung her hands together. "What did she say when you told her that?"

"She said it wasn't my choice to make for her."

"Then why did you make it, anyway?" That was the reason I was here. I had been so sure that I had been making the right choice, but I wasn't so sure anymore. "Rowan is a smart woman. While her memory might have not been caught up, deep down she knows what she wanted. Be honest with yourself, Elijah, does she look happy?"

My chest tightened as I thought about all the encounters we had. Happy was the last thing that I would call it.

"No."

"And do you still love her?"

I nodded my head over the lump in my throat, pressing my eyes shut as moisture gathered.

More than anything.

"Then why are we still having this conversation?" I glanced up when she stood up, grabbing the jacket I had brought with me and placing it in my hands. "What are you still doing standing there?" She exclaimed, her accent peeking out strongly in her words. "You need to go to her."

"Mom, I think it is too late. I don't-"

"Hush," she said with a stern look, and even though she was a tiny woman, the look in her eyes caused me to snap my mouth shut. "Elijah, I know you are selfless and it is one quality that I am so proud of, but you are so stupid sometimes, my son."

I followed her to the front door, checking my pockets for my keys, not saying anything. She reached a hand out, resting it on my cheeks.

"I have a feeling that you thought by giving her an out you were saving her from you. But Elijah, she loves you, even if she doesn't know it. You said it yourself she looked anything but happy." The breath that I took burned my lungs as my eyes swam and I nodded. "With what you guys had, she will eventually remember, and I will tell you now that it will hurt her so much more if she does and you aren't there. But it will hurt you even more."

"I messed up," I said in a low voice.

Mom shook her head, her eyes gleaming. "Mistakes are meant to be made, you just have to be honest enough with yourself to fix them. How can letting go of someone you really love be what is best, when in the end you both are left hurting?"

I didn't need to say anything for us to both know what the answer was. Nodding, I reached for the door handle opening it, and passing through it. I turned back when my foot touched the patio.

I nodded slowly, turning towards my car but pausing. There was something I wanted to ask that I hadn't before.

"Did you know?"

"Did I know what?"

"Did you know when I told you I was dating her that it was her family involved in the crash. Did you know before she came over."

My mom's smiled dropped, her shoulders drooping.

"No, I didn't." Her eyes never left mine and the truth was clear. If there was one thing my mom didn't do, it was a lie. Maybe there were some truths she held. And maybe she thought she would protect me by doing so. But she had never blatantly lied to me. "When her mom married Nick, they took her last name."

Realization snuck through me. Rowan had told me that for specific reasons Rowan's mom and dad had chosen to take her name. It wasn't traditional but it had slipped my mind.

Rowan went with the name Harper now. She said they had changed it when her dad died. Her mom felt as if it honored him more.

"When you said you were dating her it didn't click because of the name change. Maybe it should have but it didn't."

I couldn't even be mad that it hadn't. Years had passed and there were plenty of people with the name in the world.

"Okay." My mom smiled in response and I hated that it was pained. "Thank you so much for everything," I added.

I truly was grateful. For her patience. For telling me the truth, despite how hard it had to be.

She nodded, her eyes misty, and I turned heading towards my car. I paused when my phone began to vibrate in my pocket. I took it out, breathing in deeply when I saw who it was.

"Elijah?"

I turned to face my mom, my attention partially still on the phone in my hand. "Yes?"

"I have a feeling I already know who told you that you should let Rowan go, but I can tell you that she was speaking out of fear. Nobody believes that it was your fault." She stepped outside, a shawl now around her shoulders, and her face lightly shadowed but for the silent glow of the moon. "I want you to really listen to me when I say that the crash wasn't your fault. No one blames you. Not me. Not your dad. Not Carter."

Not Carter.

I nodded wordlessly, sinking in her words, and for once letting myself consider the fact that they could be true. She sent me a smile, right before I turned, making a last-minute decision and raising the phone to my ear.

"Hey, Dad."