THE METAL GATES look heavy and scary as they grant us entry into the prison. Vince pulls the Phantom around to the two double doors where visitors are supposed to enter. As soon as we came to a stop, he exited the car and open the door for me.

My fingers itch to fidget with the seam of my dress, and as if sensing my nervousness, Kade reached out to hold my hand with his.

"I'll be waiting." he said softly, and I look up to his face, his expression unreadable. I know this must've been hard for him too. Knowing the person who committed the crime that killed his family was just inside this building.

"Thank you." I squeezed his hand before climbing out of the car.

When I'm out of the vehicle I stare up at the ominous building in front of me, hating that I feel nervous meeting her again. The double doors open for me, and I walk through. A burly man in uniform calls out my name and I stepped forward. I stand on the other side of the glass and he pushes the paperwork through the slot for me to sign.

I grab the pen and scribble my name down. A few other guards linger around the entrance and I caught them checking out the car I just exited as if trying to see the person inside. The door buzzes a moment later, and one female officer steps over and pats me down. After that, I walk through a metal detector and another body scan before I'm led down the long hallway, and my stomach tightens when they pull open the door.

I don't have to search for my mother. There's no missing her even from across the room. The visitors' center isn't full, but I know she'd still stand out even if it was packed. There was never a moment where Cornelia Van Horen didn't look her best. Even when she's wearing an orange suit, she was able to make herself look neat and presentable. Her posture stoic with her nose in the air and this insipid look on her face like everything and everyone in this place was beneath her.

Our gaze locked as I drew closer, and she stood from her seat, her eyes moving past me, searching.

"Where's your sister?"

"She's not coming." I replied as I took the seat across from her.

She fell back down on the chair, frowning. "Of course. Arabella shouldn't be seen in this kind of place. She's too precious."

My heart squeezed. There was ahold on it, crushing it inch by inch.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to visit—"

"How is she? My lawyer told me she left town. And Kade? I heard that bastard just up and disappeared," she grits out. "I knew there's something off with the guy. I should've trusted my instincts and now my poor daughter is left alone I can't imagine—"

"Mom."

"—what she'd been through. Is she eating well? I should've—"

"Mom!"

Her attention snaps back to me. "Listen to me, I know what you should do. Forget about college and help your sister out. I'm sure you can get jobs right away. Your sister isn't use to any hardships..."

My mother still has that effect on me all these years later. Years of longing to be accepted. Years of being treated that I was less than. Years of being made to take a backseat so that their golden child could shine. Even when Arabella and her friends kept up their bullying, she never once stepped in and acknowledged that I was her child too. I will always be the unwanted, unloved, insignificant. I just stared at her as she carried on telling me about the things I should do for her beloved daughter.

At that moment, I felt the heavy weight of despair I try so hard to keep at bay. "And you only have yourself to blame for that."

I never see her hand coming until it was too late. I clutched my cheek where my mother had smacked me, a pang of disbelief rushing through me.

One of the female guard sees it, and shouted, "Cut it out, Van Horen!" then she comes over, "You ok, kid?"

At the smug look of triumph on my mother's face, I swear something died inside of me.

Tears and anger blinded my vision, but I managed to say, "I'm fine."

When the guard walks away, I look her in the eyes, "Did you regret it?"

"What? You can't talk to me like that just because I'm here you ungrateful—"

"The family that you run over with your car." I snap. "Did you regret it?"

Her eyes widen, before scowling. The she speak, not an ounce of remorse, "It's not my fault if they're in that damn road. Dorian should've done a better job with it. My only regret is driving across the town to meet that fucker," At that, her hands flew across her lips and looked at me warily.

It not only confirmed what Kade said, but she also thought I will never find out. When I stood from my seat, I know I was cutting this part of my life once and for all.

"I came here today to say goodbye and to tell you that I'm never coming back," I said, and I watch her recoil from my words. "And no, your daughter is not my responsibility so don't expect me to help her either."

She lunge at me but the guards were quick to held her down and I could hear her screaming obscenities behind me and down to the hallway. I reached the double doors and Kade was there enveloping me with his arms when I stepped out.

I had a second's notice before I looked up his face. I knew the tears were already shining in my eyes. He saw, and his jaw firmed as his arms went under me, and he scooped me out. Cradled to his chest, he slid us both inside the car and maneuvered us through the seat so I stayed in his lap. I cling to him tightly, and only then did the knot that had a paralyzing hold on me start to unlock itself. My body began to ease, calming down. I felt my lungs expand. It was like he jarred me back to life.

His hand came up to the back of my neck. He gripped me, pulling my head back so I was looking him in the eyes. His gaze move to my side of face and his eyes were hard, almost dead-like, but he asked, "She did this?"

I nodded and my head went back to his chest. His hand softened on me, cupping my head, pulling me closer. His fingers slid up into my hair and he cradled me to him.

"It's over now." I murmured, my voice muffled against Kade's chest but when he squeezed me tighter I knew he had heard it.

~~

TIME FLIES AFTER THAT. Between setting up the new apartment that Kade had bought just two blocks from the campus and working on finishing my book, I was pretty much preoccupied and never had a time to worry about other things.

It was two days before class starts and I just finished packing some of my belongings that I needed to bring with me before Kade and I drive back to the apartment. I was on my way to his office to tell him that I'm ready to go when I heard their voices. I stopped at the door and I can see their reflection from the glass cabinet on one side of the wall. Kade was standing in front of his desk, arms crossed against his chest while Valerie stood a few feet from him.

"You said you'll come." Valerie huffs, stomping her feet. "You promised, Kade."

"I promised you fuck." Kade snarled.

"But you said —"

"I said nothing. You assumed everything yourself." he replied.

She grinds her teeth. "I knew you'd change your mind because of that little bitch."

Kade push into her and I watch her flinch, "Watch it. If you call her that one more time, I won't let you be, Valerie."

Then I heard sniffing, and I realized Valerie was crying. "Your mother would've wanted you to be with me during this time. It's her best friend, Kade."

Kade cursed and I can sense his indecision on whatever it is they were arguing about. I stepped back, finally realizing that I was eavesdropping on their private conversation. I turn around to return to the bedroom when I heard Kade called out.

"Ayla, come here."

I froze. My face flush with embarrassment from being caught. I took a deep breath, before turning around and entered his office.

When I met his gaze, it was hooded, his expression stern.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "I just want to tell you that I'm done packing."

He nodded, lowering his gaze deferentially, though his expression didn't change. I looked over at Valerie and she had her eyes locked on Kade, wiping the tears off her face.

"Get your bag and meet me outside." Kade said quietly, at first I thought I was the one he'd said it to but when my gaze snaps back to him, he was looking at Valerie with unreadable expression.

I watched in astonishment as she lunged at Kade and throw her arms around him.

"Thank you!" she murmured and although it was quick, I was able to catch her expression as she smiled at me, triumph glittering in her eyes, her hands clutching the fabric of his shirt and her nose nuzzling against his arm before she steps away.

Part of me would like to take comfort on the fact that Kade didn't respond to her touch, but the other part, the monster that's poke it's head whenever Valerie was around, urge me to go in there and smash her face to the desk overwhelms me. I want — no, I need — to wipe that smug expression off her face for good.

It's strange how I have all these violent thoughts about Valerie when I'm not a violent person. I always thought jealousy was for weak, insecure people, but apparently, ever since I met Kade, I'm turning into one, too.

"I'll be outside." she says happily before striding towards the door and as she brushed past me, she glances at me with a challenging gleam.

My feet itch to go after her and drag her by the hair kicking and screaming. Shaking the horrible thoughts from my head, I schooled my expression as I glanced at Kade, trying to read him, but although he was looking at me, his face gave nothing away.

"So, you're going somewhere?" I force as smile as I plopped down on the couch. "Valerie seems pretty excited."

His gaze held mine as he leaned back against his desk. "Tomorrow is Valerie's parent's death anniversary."

I swallowed hard. "I had no idea. Do you want me to come with you?" His eyebrow arched, and I remember, "Oh, right. School."

At my sigh, he walks over and bends down to pull me up on his arms. His hands came up and pushed through my hair, combing it back from my forehead and cheeks with a gentleness that made my heart melt.

"We need to fly out to Seattle today. I won't be back until tomorrow evening, Butterfly."

"Oh..." I felt a sharp twinge in my belly at hearing we'd be apart again and worse he'd be with Valerie during those time. Then I internally chastised myself for being insensitive about the situation. "It's fine. I'll be busy with school anyways. This must be a really tough time for Valerie, you should be there for her."

Even as I say the words, I can't stop the tiny needles from prickling my heart repeatedly.

As if sensing my worries, he cupped my face in both hands and kissed me, his mouth moving softly and languidly over mine. My hands immediately slides beneath his jacket and grip his waist, pushing on my tiptoes to deepen the kiss. He kissed me with everything he had, with power and passion and hunger and love. And when his tongue stroked deep into my mouth, a low moan escaped me.

He pulled back and I looked up at him, and seeing the scorching intensity in his expression made my throat burned. His fingertips brushed over my temples, across my cheeks, down to my throat, before tilting my jaw up and pressing his lips gently against mine once again. He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. I got it.

And later that day, when I watched him slid inside the car with Valerie, I didn't have the sick fear in my gut I'd felt before when Valerie confronted me last time, or that horrible insecurity that told me I was going to lose the man I loved.

Kade love me. I need to hold on to that more than anything.