"Oh fuck they're all here." Natasha said as soon as we saw Dennis, Thomas, Dani, and Margo who were all huddled surrounding a fire pit by the tobogganing area. "This is a bad idea. Why did I agree to do this?"

"You're here to make amends, remember?"

"Yeah, but I feel like all of them are going to judge me. Mave, they hate me."

"Stop it!" I demanded, raising my voice. "They don't hate you. You're here to make things clear, and to move on. Fuck, if they disrespect you for doing so, I will beat the crap out of them." I adjusted my toque and my scarf stressfully, then stared at my best friend, looking at her as seriously as I can. Then, I unbuckled my seatbelt.

"Okay." Nat said, calming herself down. "Okay. I can do this."

"I'm going to get our sled and toboggan, so you go and greet them. I'm right behind you." I held Nat's shaking hand, and squeezed it reassuringly. "Now don't worry. We'll have fun, okay?"

Nat nodded her head, and we got out of the car. I immediately went at the back of Nat's car to get two lightweight, plastic sleds, and one wooden toboggan. To my surprise, Dani appeared beside me asking,

"Need a hand?"

"You can carry the toboggan if you're up for it. Or, you can carry the sleds, which aren't that heavy." I answered.

"I'll carry the toboggan." Dani said, determined.

"Ooh. Look at you, high roller." I commented.

"Shut up." Dani said, now laughing and nudging me on my side.

"I can help you carry one of the sleds." Margo offered. I stared at her, completely surprised that she sounded so... Friendly, and nice. She smiled at me, and I can't help but notice her round snakebite piercing on the bottom of her lips. Her hair was jet black, styled into a short pixie cut, and she was taller than me, which made me kind of look up- but not that much.

Her presence was nothing that I would've expected. I thought I would feel threatened, or awkward, but damn, all I could think about is Margo is hella cool.

"Sure, here you go." I said, blinking and giving her one of the sleds. "I'm Maverick, by the way, and you must be Margo." Smiling, I held up a hand for her to shake.

"I am." She said, nodding and grinning back. "Dani talks about you a lot."

"About me? Really, what did she say?"

"I'm right here you guys." Dani announced, but Margo and I ignored her, just to mess with her. "Bad things, I bet."

"Not at all." Margo said, and winked at Dani. I'm not sure if that meant something, but it certainly made me cringe.

"I'm surprised she doesn't talk shit about me." I innocently smiled, and glanced at Dani who was rolling her eyes, in disbelief.

"Oh no, it's quite the opposite-"

"Okay! Are we going tobogganing or not?" Dani interrupted us loudly. Margo and I laughed and followed her retreating figure towards where Nat, Thomas, and Dennis were.

"She's got a temper, huh?" Margo asked me while we walked together. I snickered and watched her carefully.

"It's obvious that you're not complaining." I said, pulling my scarf closer to my face with my free hand.

"I think it's kinda hot." Margo admitted boldly, and I could only gape at her in return.

"Damn, good for you." I laughed and stared at her in awe.

"What? Don't you think so?" She asked me, and my laughed died down, then slowly turned into a cough.

"I wouldn't know." I answered her timidly.

"So you're not gay then?" Margo asked, which made me stop walking and stared at her in bewilderment. "Sorry, let me rephrase that. So, you're not at all... Attracted to that angel over there?" Margo pointed at Dani, who joined a little discussion with the two boys and Nat.

"I think that's none of your business." I replied, my voice sharp and edgy, ready to have an argument with her. But Margo only stared at me, smiling genuinely and patting my shoulder as if to calm me down.

"I'm sorry I asked." She said, her voice sweet and soft. Immediately, I felt kinda bad.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you." I apologized, sighing and shaking my head.

"It's okay, I was crossing the line, so it was my fault. Let's just have some fun today, alright?" Margo asked, her face lighting up when I nodded my head.

I didn't deny her. She asked me a question and I evaded, but didn't deny it. It's none of your business I said, of course it isn't. And now I'm going to think about this all day. I stared at Margo when she threw a snowball at Dani, and I watched Dani run after her and together they laughed like it was the most joyful thing in the world.

I frowned, and thought, why can't I be that happy? But I knew the answer to that. I wouldn't let myself. But why? Shaking my head again, I approached Natasha who was now looking like she was going to cry.

"Hey, everything okay?" I asked, hugging her close.

"I did it. Be proud of me. I admitted my mistakes." She said, and hugged me back while Dennis and Thomas smiled at us.

Admitting mistakes. Did I made a mistake? What mistake is that? Next thing I knew, Dennis was pulling my arm and giving me a bag of marshmallows.

"Before we get up the hill and kill ourselves with the toboggan, how 'bout we roast some marshmallows and make s'mores first?" He asked, making me smile as if he knew that I was feeling troubled earlier.

"I brought wieners too." Thomas said, and held up a pack.

"'Course you did." Dennis smirked. Thomas blushed so hard and punched Dennis' arm. "Ow, don't hurt me. I like wieners too! Don't look at me like that, you know I do-" Dennis was yet again punched on the arm. They laughed hysterically, and I stared at them in confusion.

"I think they're crazy." I told Nat, who hooked her arm with mine as we huddle close to the fire.

"Nah. They're just happy." Nat said. She handed me a metal roaster stick. "I'm kind of jealous."

"That they're happy?"

"No, that they found someone they really care about." Nat said, laughing at me incredulously.

"I care about you." I told her.

"I know you do, but it's not the same..." Nat said, not looking at me and watching her marshmallow turn golden brown.

"I get what you mean." I whispered, so only Nat could hear. Margo and Dani were still chasing each other, having a snowball fight. The scene made me want to vomit. "I guess I'm jealous too." I said. When I looked back at Nat, I saw her watching me intently, as if she was trying to read me. I was a bit taken aback, so I held on to her cheek with my free hand and slapped her softly. "You okay, bruh?"

"You're going to meet some boys." Nat said. "We're going to meet some boys this winter break."

"You're out of your mind." I said, actually thinking she was insane.

"Oh come on, what's the problem?" She asked. "We're both single, and-"

"I honestly don't think I have the guts to do that." I said.

"You kissed me." She said, reminding me of my three out of ten score.

"Yeah, well, according to you, I'm a bad kisser. So I guess I won't be kissing anybody for a while." I said grumpily.

"Wait, you two kissed?" Thomas asked, his eyes narrowing. Dennis smirked.

"It's not what you think, pervs." Natasha spat back at them, and throwing a marshmallow at them. "I was teaching Maverick how to kiss a guy-"

"Oh that's even better." Thomas teased, and I became beet red from embarrassment.

"Nat." I called, tugging at her jacket. "Just stop talking."

"Ugh. You boys always think dirty." Natasha complained, glaring at the two boys who laughed at us but promised that they were kidding.

"That scenario sounds like the beginning of a bad porno-" Dennis started, but I cut him off.

"What's up with you and porn?" I asked. "What, Thomas can't get you satisfied?"

"Oh shit, burn!" Yelled out Margo, as she and Dani joined the fire.

Then everyone chuckled, and everyone was happy again. I, on the other hand, still felt troubled. Like I have a guard up for some unknown reason. I want to put it down and relax, because this was supposed to be a relaxing day, but I can't. The fact that I was feeling this way made me so uncomfortable that I actually want to go home.

But I couldn't ruin that for everyone. They're having so much fun, and I wouldn't want to be the Debbie Downer.

"Tell us more about yourself, Margo. What are you been up to?" Dennis asked excitedly, like he always does whenever we meet a new friend.

"Well, I don't know if you guys know, but I'm two years older than you guys. Um, I know you saw me work at the café downtown, so that's a given."

"She sings and plays guitar." Dani stated, while she grinned and stared at Margo in awe. "She's awesome at it too."

"Oh stop it." Margo said, grinning.

"She's in a band, and they play at the café now and then, and they have..."

And so on, and so on, and so on. I blocked out Dani's voice. I blocked out everyone's voice. I stared at Dani and Margo, and wanted to walk the hell away from them, because they make me cringe from the awkwardness. Oh stop it, said Margo. As if. I bet she wanted all the attention.

I stopped myself from thinking those things because it's ridiculous. Margo is a good person. But why do I hate her so much right now? God, I'm so moody, and I'm not even on my period yet. I'm just so pissed off. So angry.

But I couldn't show that, so I held it in.

"Right Mave?" Natasha brought me back to reality, when she called my name. I blinked in confusion and cleared my throat.

"Pardon?"

"Your parents let you throw a party, right?" She asked again. She gave me a look, and she knew that something was wrong.

"Yes." I answered. "I still can't believe they're letting me do it."

"So is that a yes?" Margo asked, and I could only stare at her in confusion.

"I think it's a great idea." Dennis said.

I was so lost, I didn't know what they were talking about.

"I'm sorry, um, what are we talking about? I kind of spaced out earlier." I admitted awkwardly, which made everyone stare at me, and I had to look down from embarrassment, which I thought was kind of stupid so I held my chin up high and said, "My brain shut off earlier 'cause I was thinking about chicken nuggets. Sorry about that guys, so where were we?"

Thankfully they think I was so funny, so they let it go. But the look that Nat gave tells me that she doesn't buy it. When I turned, Dani was giving me the same look, and I ignored the two of them and concentrated on Margo.

"If it's okay with you, my band could play at your house party so you don't have to worry about music and stuff. We have speakers and other equipment that could really make a crowd dance."

"So. Loud." I said. "You have loud music for us?" My tone of voice probably sounded bitchy, because Nat had pinched me, and I gritted my teeth from the pain, but didn't react.

"Yep." Margo answered, unaffected.

"Okay." I agreed. "Sounds like a plan."

From the corner of my eye, in my peripheral vision, I can see that Dani was giving me a frown, and I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to get the hell away from her, and Margo because it seems as if I'm rude when it comes to them. More rude and impolite than usual.

"Who's ready to scream, and shout, and let it all out?" I asked, singing and held up the toboggan and pointed at the hill that we're supposed to slide down in. Without another word, I hooked my arm with Nat, and pulled her in so we walk could walk towards the hill.

"What's going on?" She whispered.

"I don't want to talk about it." I told her. "Not right now."

"But you will tell me, right?"

Sighing, I nodded my head. I will tell her when I'm ready. But I don't know when that is.

Unedited

P.S. Please tell me I'm not that mean. Was what I did mean? 😅