I thought Olivia could fill the hole that I've dug up in my chest. That graveyard-like feeling only became bigger and I was left foggy and confused. It didn't make any sense. I have Olivia. I have a job that I love. I have peers around me who are kind enough to give me support.

Why do I feel so alone?

It was hard to admit that I wanted Olivia to be someone else. It hurts to think about it, because I knew who that person was. It wasn't fair for Olivia because she's putting so much effort in to our relationship to grow. I realized then that there was no room for it to bloom because in my head I dreamed about a relationship that I know wouldn't even be possible anymore.

I dreamed about Dani Dubois, and I woke up in Olivia's arms.

That was when I started to feel like I wasn't the greatest person to be around.

Everything annoyed me, I had a short temper, and I was angry all the time. My work ethic became chaotic, and even the littlest things like how Parker leaves utensils in the sink without washing them. We got into a yelling match which turned into insults, which turned into targeted barks of mean things to hurt each other. He crossed the line by saying that I was obssessed with Dani, and I crossed out the line for saying that Parker didn't mean anything to me and that he should just die.

That was when Olivia had to throw a pitcher of water to our faces.

"You two need a time out!" She said while standing in between me and her brother. I felt so bad, and immature that I decided to stay silent before I say something stupid.

The water dripped down from my body and I was suddenly very cold. Parker seems to forget every hurtful thing that I said and covered me with a towel.

"Deja vu." I murmurred. There were more water droplets running down my face but this time they were warm. I was crying and I didn't even know it.

"Maverick..." Olivia said softly as she carefully approached me and tried to wipe the tears from my face. I stopped her by grabbing her wrists gently and felt my mouth open to say what I truly felt about her, but I stopped.

I'm tired of hurting people.

Without saying anything, I simply walked away and went straight to my room. Olivia came in to check on me a few minutes afterwards while I had the blankets around me like I was hiding.

She knew what I was thinking about, and she knew about Dani. She reassured me that I shouldn't feel the need to force our relationship to work. Olivia liked and understood me. She loved me enough to consider me as her close friend.

It was as if a heavy weight was lifted off of my shoulders and now I can breathe again. I didn't know how many times I apologized to Olivia for leading her on, but she brushed it off by saying,

"It's not meant to be so why should I worry about it?"

I told her that she'll find someone way better than me which earned me an eye roll from her.

"Oh please. Don't start setting me up with people." She said jokingly and smiled at me.

I leaned forward and gave her a soft kiss on the lips.

"Thank you, Olivia."

***

"You sulk a lot, and it's getting pretty annoying." Olivia said as she sat down beside me on the living room couch one day. We all had the day off and we decided to just stay in and maybe watch a movie. Parker was beside her too, and nodded his head.

"I think it has something to do with her ex-girlfriend." He said, while munching on a piece of chip.

"Which one? Me, or she who should not be named?" Olivia joked.

My head snapped towards their direction and glared. I can't believe they're starting this again. Dani is a sensitive subject. I can't even say her name out loud without feeling like I've been stabbed a million times in the chest.

"Am I wrong?" Parker challenged.

"Is this about Dani?" Olivia added with a smirk.

"Stop it! You two know that it is!" I argued with a sigh and buried my head in a throw pillow.

Dani Dubois has been popping up in my social media lately. There were multiple pictures of her winning awards from many art institutes. Of course I saw all of them because I never had the guts to block her when we broke up three years ago.

To my surprise, she hasn't blocked me either.

Parker had caught me stalking her online while I was in my office one time. He said that I should shoot her a private message for "funsies". Since then, I stopped hiding the fact that I was obviously still madly in love with Dani Dubois.

Parker suggested that I should start posting pictures of me more to get her attention. He even came to the athletics building at the university one time to take a video of me training with my players. I thought it looked professionally done and so I posted it while trying to convince myself it's for career publicity.

Parker didn't buy it though. Especially when Dani liked the video and I acted like I was in Cloud 9.

"I don't stand a chance." I said out loud.

"Did you bother to even send her a message?" Parker asked curiously.

"She has drafts saved." Olivia answered him.

I threw the throw pillow at her face.

"You guys are such assholes!" I exclaimed and stormed out of the living room to the kitchen with an obvious blush on my face.

It was true that I was writing her a message but I chicken out when it was time to send it. I personally thought it was pathetic. Everytime I read what I wrote, I cringe and decided not to bother.

I poured myself a glass of water and leaned on the counter. Sometimes I catch myself running an imaginary scenario in my head pretending that I'm talking to Dani. It feels crazy. I feel insane for having this attachment towards her.

Then I heard my phone ringing from the living room.

"A person named Margo is calling you!" Parker called out while waving the phone at me. I frowned. I promised Margo that I'll keep in touch but I haven't been lately. Sighing, I hurriedly walked towards Parker and grabbed my phone to answer it.

"Hey." I answered nervously, and hoping that Margo isn't mad at me.

"Why the hell do you sound like that?" Margo said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Why do you sound like somebody died?"

"I'm no-"

"I know you're going to apologize because you haven't returned my calls but we don't have time for that right now." She said as if she was in a hurry.

"What's going on?" I asked curiously.

"I need you to sit down from what I'm about to tell you." Margo instructed, her tone excited. "Are you sitting down?"

I looked at Parker and Olivia while they looked back at me curiously. I'm definitely not sitting with them right now and so I took the conversation in to my room for some privacy. I could hear their groan of disappointment but I decided to ignore it.

"Are you sitting down?" Margo asked again, now sounding impatient.

"Okay, okay, I am." Somebow feeling nervous.

"Dani's grandparents came into the café today, and said that Dani's coming home to celebrate her twenty-third birthday with them." Margo said so quickly that I almost didn't understand her. "Her grandma is planning on inviting her close friends for a surprise party."

My throat felt dry.

"She invited me to go, and she talked about you. I don't think that lady knows you guys broke up but I was thinking that you should come home for that weekend anyways."

I couldn't speak.

"So I was thinking that maybe you should contact N-Natasha to see if she could come home for the surprise party? I'd do it myself but uh... I don't really have her latest and recent number." Margo said, and almost sounding nervous.

"Don't you have her in Instagram?" I asked, but Margo didn't say anything. "Anyways, Dani is coming home?" I managed to ask after a while.

"Yes."

"Dani is flying home to Prince Albein for her birthday?" I confirmed again.

"Yes." Margo said, and chuckled in amusement. "I thought you'd like the news. I see that you've been liking Dani's posts on Facebook lately.

"Wh-what?" I asked in bewilderment.

"Mave, your friends get notifications for everytime you liked something. You do know that right?"

"No." I said, feeling really embarrassed.

"Come on, please tell me you'll come home for the weekend? I miss you." She said.

"You should tell that to Natasha." I answered back.

A moment of silence.

"So, you know?" Margo asked carefully.

"I figured it out a long time ago but you just confirmed it."

"Damn." Margo said, and I heard her sigh. "Could you please try to get a hold of her?"

"I'll try." I answered her. I too haven't talked to Natasha in forever. It almost feels like I don't even know her.

"Are you nervous?" Margo asked.

"I haven't even decided if I wanted to go or not!"

"Don't lie." Margo said.

"What if she's not single?" I asked in protest. "What if I go back home having false hope that maybe I have a chance?"

"She's single." Margo said nonchalantly, but I could tell she was smirk from her tone.

"What if- wait... what? How do you know that?" I asked, my voice slowly increasing in volume.

"I talked to her before I called you and we caught up a little bit."

"Wait... what?" I said dumbly.

"Yeah, so Dani assumed that her grandma was already planning a surprise party for her and she called me to give me a heads up. You and I both know she hates surprises. She's come prepared. "

"Did she... Did she talk about me?" I asked.

"Oooh. Wouldn't you like to know?" Margo teased and laughed.

I bit my bottom lip, and I could feel my hands sweating. Dani must've talked about me... right? Or not. I mean, why would she?

"I could hear you panicking Maverick, calm the fuck down." Margo said. "I could only tell you that she seemed pretty excited to come home to see everyone again."

"She didn't talk about me?" I asked in disappointment.

"Oh, well... She did."

"What did she say?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Why not?"

"I'm not telling you anything. You have to come home that weekend and ask her yourself."

"Oh my god, Margo." I said, now rubbing my face in a stressful manner. "I don't even know what to say to her. I don't even know where to start."

"I can't help you there." Margo said and she's laughing again. "I have to go now, the café is getting busy. We'll talk more later."

"Oh. Okay."

"And Mave?"

"Yeah?"

"Talk to Natasha please? It's important."

"I will."

***

As soon as I told Parker and Olivia, they went berserk. They started packing my stuff for me, and tried to book me cheap flights while I stood there feeling numb with my phone still in hand.

"This is your chance!" Parker said excitedly. He was packing my underwear and I thought that was weird so I stopped him.

"When are you leaving?" Olivia asked.

"I was thinking of coming home early on to see my parents and just to... I don't know, prepare myself. You guys know how anxious I get."

"Fair, fair." Parker said, and nodding.

Parker and Olivia sat me down on the couch and tried to hype me up because I started feeling like I shouldn't go through with this. None of it was working and so I excused myself saying that I needed to make a phone call.

Natasha answered just after the first ring.

"So you finally decided that I was worth the call?" She said, her voice trembled a little.

Natasha was pissed at me. She was so angry that I let her lecture me for being such a bad friend without interupting. I have become some sort of a ghostly stranger for ignoring her calls and text messages in the past. Finally after genuinely apologizing, I decided to ask how she was.

Natasha had dropped out of school and was now running her own business converting vans into campers. I'd always thought she was the DIY kind of girl when we were younger and I was happy that she had found something that she thoroughly loved.

She surprised me when she told me that she's moved back in Saskachewan and was now living in Saskatoon with Dennis.

"Dennis?!" I exclaimed. "Are you two back together? Last I heard, Dennis was living with Thomas in Vancouver."

"No! God no!" Natasha said, laughing. "Dennis and Thomas are long gone. He decided to move in and work with me. Their break up was really hard and he wanted to be with someone familiar. You weren't there, and so he looked for me."

I felt so much guilt built up in my stomach that I didn't know what to say.

"He's actually here and listening to every bit of our conversation. Would you like to speak to him?" Natasha asked. I gulped nervously and said,

"Yes, please."

"You are such a bitch." Dennis started, and he too lectured me for not keeping in touch. I let him, and I felt so horrible.

"I'm so sorry." I said.

"I'm not done." Dennis said and continued. "Imagine me balking my eyes out, and trying to call my best friend for some sort of comfort but leaves me on voice-mail every single time. No call backs. No messages. Nothing. Then I see you on TV playing ball and I still can't help but feel proud of you even though you're such a shitty friend."

I stayed silent and just took it all. After a while, i hear Dennis sigh.

"I pay extra on cable to watch NCAA because of you."

"Thank you." I managed to say.

"I see that you're coaching now, I think that's great!"

"Thanks." I said, not wanting the subject to be about me but Dennis being Dennis started bringing out my accomplishments.

We got into talking about relationships, and Dennis opened up the conversation of how he's just been dating a lot. He asked about mine, and I told him that I'm single which surprised him.

"Dani hasn't talked to you yet? What the- ow!" Dennis said while Natasha was telling him something in the background.

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously. "What about Dani?"

"It's nothing." Natsha said on the other line, and finally taking over. "If you're calling for Dani's not-so-secret birthday surprise that her grandma is throwing then we're all caught up because she called us herself."

"So Dani talked to you guys?" I asked in bewilderment not knowing she's been keeping in touch.

"Mave... Dani's been in contact with us since you two broke up." Natasha said. "We sort of became business colleagues. Dani is currently our social media designer."

I paused. She's been keeping tabs on everyone but me?

"She hasn't called you yet?" Nat asked carefully as if I was going to break any second.

"No... not really." I said in disappointment.

"Well why don't you call her?" Nat suggested and I froze.

"I don't know how." I replied truthfully.

"Oh Mave." Nat said.

That's when I told her everything about my sudden interest of Dani for the past few months. I also told her about Olivia, and I noticed how dry my mouth suddenly became. Have I been talking that much?

"So that's why you posted that juicy video of you working out with your team!" Natasha said after a while.

"Juicy?" I asked, and laughing at her choice of words.

"Mave, you have no idea how many friends of mine thought you looked hot when I shared it."

"Oh my god." I said, now feeling embarrassed. "I need to delete it immediately."

"No, don't. Dani liked it."

I bit my lip and let her talk about her and Dennis' plans on coming home to Prince Albein. Then I remember what Margo had told me and so I asked,

"Margo's been asking about you." I said.

"Oh." Nat said. She became suddenly quiet, but I knew her far too well.

"Nat, it's okay. I know." I said chuckling.

"How?" She asked, surprise in her tone.

"I kind of just clicked it together. It made sense, you know."

"Yeah. You could say we have the running away part in common. I couldn't understand this... thing with Margo and I had to get away." She admitted.

"Well, Margo seems excited to see you."

"She is?" Nat asked. "What else did she say about me?"

"I'll make you a deal." I said, and running my hands through my hair nervously. "You tell me what Dani has been saying about me, and I tell you everything Margo has told me about you."

Pause. Quiet.

"Tempting. But no." Natasha finally said, her tone serious.

I knew that they're keeping something from me, and I want to know what. With a grin, I knew I'll find out soon enough.

I have my ways.

_____

AN: Omg you guys, the end is near.