We were finally back at school and I hadn't heard from Damien since I had seen him last. Despite my father telling me he was wondering how I was, he didn't ask for me again and when I called him myself there was no pick up. I was mad, agitated that he hadn't even tried to contact me; I was also pissed because I had found out the truth, he was the son of a crime lord.

Yea technically I'm one too, without my knowledge! Damien never told me that, not a word of it. Why wouldn't he tell me? If he wants to date isn't that something important to tell your partner? Right?!

I returned to my dorm, it was just how I left it. I laid on my bed with a heavy sigh, mentally preparing myself to meet Damien. What do I say? I missed you... why are you keeping things from me... why didn't you pick up my calls? There was just a lot of ways I could start the conversation but I was scared.

What if he thought I was annoying? Like he wasn't ever that serious to begin with. Would he tell me I'm overthinking our relationship?

I stood up and stretched not able to stay still, I stiffened when I heard the door open. It was Damien who stood before me, I bit my lip realizing I had missed him so much that I was hit by a lot of emotions. Everything that I had planned to say disappeared; my instincts were to leave.

He reached out for me and My mind raced; I knew if he touched me- hugged me, my anger would melt. So I went around him and out of the room, fast walking. I couldn't believe myself, running away from him like a child! But him actually standing there... he makes me falter. Maybe I should busy myself with something else, he ignored me for two weeks so I'll just do the same!

I searched the school grounds for Ramos and found him in the cafeteria, classes were off for today but that didn't mean the cafeteria was closed. I had a question to ask him, he knew more then he let on; this will be my baby steps to when I talk to Damien.

"Hey Ramos" I called sitting besides him and he grinned slapping me on the back.

"Hey man I missed you! How was the two weeks vacation from this place?"he asked with a laugh and I gave an uneasy smile rubbing my neck. It's not as fun as you might think...

"Hey I gotta ask you something... your not part of the maf right?" I asked him with a low voice so nobody could hear us and he choked on his food as if he has been caught off guard.

"Wha?! Me? No way, impossible!" he said frantically, his voice cracking. I have a hunch he's lying.

"Hey don't worry, I just found out I'm in one too..." I said uneasy and he looked at me shocked, as if that was the last thing he'd expect to hear.

"You just found out?! What family are you apart of?" He asked surprised.

"I can't say... but hey why didn't you say Damien was the son to some big crime boss!" I asked a bit angry and he rubbed his neck. He could've told me a while ago!

"Well I did... You interpreted it as a rumor and I agreed is all" He said uneasy. I remembered our conversation but I remember him saying it was a rumor.. right? Why didn't he just tell me flat out- but would I have believed him? The mafia seems like some sort of fantasy- like I'm in a dream.

His eyes flickered from mine to something that loomed behind me.

"Speak of the devil" he said and I whipped my head to see Damien walking towards us and my body immediately got up, time to get out of here.

"Ok. Gotta go. See you." I said quickly moving my feet as fast as possible out of the cafeteria and into the school courtyard. I'll talk to him tonight after I get my bearings together alright!

Um- Not alright. I was grabbed by my wrist and pulled back; landing into someone's broad hard chest. I looked straight ahead, not attempting to move or acknowledge him; I knew it was Damien I could smell him. It's sad to say but I've memorized his smell.

"Why are you avoiding me." He asked curtly, anger laced in his voice. I was hoping he wasn't gonna be so blunt as to just outright ask me. I should've known better.

"Like you did for two full weeks" I bit back and his face softened, he loosened his grip on my arm and I ripped it out of his grasp. If he thinks I won't bring it up he's dead wrong. I held my arm and still didn't look at him, I couldn't look into his eyes.

"I was busy alright, I just didn't have time" he said with a heavy sigh running a hand through his hair.

"Busy? Why because your part of the mafia?" I asked angrily and his eyes widened a bit and he clicked his tongue.

"So they told you" he said sounding upset, was it that much of a secret when rumors about you being a criminal are flying around?

"Yea they told me, I'm just pissed off you didn't tell me anything" I said angry and he grabbed my hand softly, as if trying to calm me down. I closed my eyes right trying to hold onto my fleeting anger.

"I just didn't want to get you involved" he sounded genuine, but it isn't his choice to make whether I'm involved or not.

"That doesn't matter when my own father is apart of it, the old man told me he does a little bit more then just owning hotels" I said taking my hand back again, holding it to me, I felt conflicted. Did he not tell me because he didn't think I could handle it? That I need to be sheltered from it?

"Listen that doesn't matter, just forget about the mafia bull shit, lets just be us- together" he was passionate and grabbed me again forcefully, now I was forced to look into his eyes, he looked pained and I was appalled by what he said. He wants to be what just two normal boys in love? He couldn't have told me this before...

"Well it's too late for that" I whispered looking off to the side. Now I felt guilty, but I thought this was the only way I could be closer to Damien was if I....

"To late for what?" He asked seriously, the air was silent and you could hear a pin drop with how tense it was.

"My old man asked me if I wanted to join him. I said yes, Damien. I don't plan on going back on my word either" I said softly and this time he let me go, I couldn't look at his face, but I knew it was riddled with disappointment.

I told my father yes for many reasons, all my life I have been left behind, I've never been able to keep up but this is different now. This would be a chance to finally have a footing of equality with my dad.

I also started to think my dad was right, maybe I am cut out for the job. I've never been good at anything but liking shitty old music. Maybe I can be good at being a leader, someone like my dad; to not be afraid. I was scared all the time in my early school years and I'm never going back to that.

And finally... I thought this would make me closer to Damien, if I was in the same line as him. Doing similar stuff; but I see now it was just wishful thinking.

"Why?" He asked quietly and I crossed my arms trying desperately to hide all my insecurities.

"Why does it matter? Shouldn't you be happy? That I'm in the same position as you?" I asked avoiding the questions, I looked at him finally and he just looked like he was trying to think.

"It's not good Damien, you don't know anything. Don't act like you do" he said sternly and my anger flared at him and how he was talking to me.

"Yea well maybe if you assholes ever spoke up Id know more. You know I missed you so much, but I'm starting to think maybe I was just your little getaway from you everyday life, when your at home- doing whatever bull shit you don't need me, and now that I'm included in it you really don't want me- but I'm not your respite nor your piece of normalcy" I bit out tears swelling up, I started to notice stares from afar and realized we were making a little bit of a scene and I prayed nobody could actually hear us. Damien looked shocked at my words and went to touch my face and I slapped his hands away.

"We can talk about this later, I need to go" I bit out and turned my heel, holding back a nasty sob as I realized I practically just ended it. Maybe craven was right I should've stayed away from him.

But deep down I knew that wasn't true. I knew that I had fallen for Damien despite it all.

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