The day they met, he was happy.

He didn't know how he lived his life up until now without him.

The day Louis asked him to be his boyfriend was the best day of his life.

He was so in love with this boy.

Everything was too good to be true, everything was....perfect.

Things got difficult, but he had no doubt they could get through it.

He was wrong

The night Louis walked into his room and broke his heart was the last day Harry had ever felt genuine happiness.

"I don't think we should do this anymore, I'm sorry"

Those words haunted him to this day, and he never understood why.

He was so used to having him as his number one, he didn't realize how bad he needed him until he was gone.

'I want him to be happy' is what Harry told himself through tears

'And if hes happy without me, I have to learn to be happy too'

That brings us to now. 5 years later. The band is broken up, unknown to the fans, a permanent hiatus. Harry is still heartbroken

Harry is curled up in bed. Its 3am and hes sobbing quietly under the sheets. This is what his night normally looks like.

He was always urged to tell his friends about what happened, why he was so different. Ed had convinced him.

He told him everything, from the day they started dating to the day they broke up.

Ed looked down at his fingers, picking at his nails and smirked slightly

"I don't know what to tell you mate. That was what? 5 years ago? And you're still upset about it? You're acting like a hormonal teenager, you have to get over him" he said

Harry let out a shaky breath and stood up

"Where are you going?" Ed asked

"Home. I really trusted you with this Ed" he said through suppressing a stuttered sob

Ed shrugged

He walked outside into the blistering heat and drove off.

He drove to wherever the car took him, which just so happened to be the nearest bar.

One shot turned into 5, which turned into 10. Before he knew it he was wasted, and as high as a kite.

Grinding bodies were all around him, sweat and hands roaming his body. Everything was a blur, he was mixed with emotions.

He blared out the lyrics of the songs playing, completely unaware of his surroundings. He didn't even know what bar he was at anymore.

"Harry? Is that you? Oh my god Sophia, look its him!" A girl shouted

Several girls surrounded him, he was so out of it that he just continued dancing.

"He looks really drunk" one girl said. The group agreed.

They called him a taxi and told the driver to go to the nearest hotel

The last thing Harry remembers before blacking out in the taxi was screaming and crying into his phone.

•

I don't know why I did it. That's the question I get asked alot. Why? Why? Why?

I don't know why

I was beyond happy, I just knew he would break my heart, so I had to break up with him before he did.

Things were too perfect for it to all be real.

I regret it every day of my life but theres nothing I can do about it.

He changed after that. He was no longer outspoken and flamboyant, he kept to himself and only spoke when he was asked questions, even then he dodged them like bullets. Always managing to answer the question without actually answering it.

He sat on his porch, Eleanor out on a walk with Clifford and Bruce. He had been dating her for a few years and he was happy. He really was.

She was such a nice, genuine girl, but there was something missing.

She wasnt Harry.

He sat there, a smoke in one hand, his phone sitting in his lap, when it started ringing

It was from an unknown number

He picked it up

"HELLSOLWJXJJIALOJEL"

"Woah" he grimaced, pulling it away from his ear.

The other end had many screaming voices, when suddenly there was a loud slam, then silence. The screams still muffled, but fading

All he heard was violent hiccups and crying

"Um...hello?"

"L-louis" the voice wept

"Who is this?"

"I still l-love you Lou"

".....Harry?" He asked in realization

He started mumbling on the other end, he heard vomiting noises as well.

"Are you drunk?" Louis asked

He just heard more crying

"P-please don't l-leave me" Harry sobbed

"Harry" Louis said softly, feeling really guilty

"Don't leave me p-please Louis, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I c-can do better" he stuttered

Louis felt his own tears pool in his eyes, just listening to Harry beg for him like this, being so vulnerable. He had never heard Harry cry before.

"I still l-love you, please don't l-leave me" he begged

A tear fell down Louis' face as he pulled the phone away from his face, hanging up

"I love you too" he whispered to himself

"Hey baby, what's up? Who do you love?" Eleanor asked, walking around the corner

He quickly dried his tears and put on a fake smile

"You of course" he smiled, kissing her cheek

She smiled and walked inside

He took a deep breath and finished his cigarette quickly.

Later that night, he couldn't sleep. He stepped outside for a minute to get some fresh air.

He heard scratching on the door from Clifford wanting to come outside with him. He smiled and opened the door for him

He jumped up onto the couch and rested his head on Louis' lap

Louis layed his head back and let out an unintentionally shaky breath, making Clifford make a confused noise

"You don't understand do you Clif?" Louis smiled, Clifford tilted his head to the side

"Well, when daddy was younger, he fell in love with a boy. But he had to break up with the boy. Now daddy is sad because...because he wishes he never broke up with the boy" he explained to Clifford

Clifford set his head back down with a confused huff

"I know, its confusing" he said

He heard a quiet whimper from behind him. He spun around to see Eleanor standing on the deck, her arms wrapped around her delicate body, shivering.

Her eyes were red and puffy

"El" Louis whispered

"So you dont love me? You love him?" She asked

Louis was at a loss of words

She walked back inside, leaving Louis speechless.

He went back inside, to their bedroom.

"Eleanor?" He whispered. She was sleeping, her back facing him

"El please, can we talk?"

She ignored him. He climbed into bed with her and started to talk to himself

"Eleanor I'm really sorry, it's not like that. It's just...I wasn't ready to end things with him and....I geuss I'm just not really over him" he explained quietly

She let out a quiet whimper

"I promise El, I love you"

She didn't respond. He fell asleep feeling tremendously guilty.

He woke up the next day and she wasn't in bed beside him. He bolted awake and looked all over the house, his eyes landing on a peice of paper pinned to the fridge

Louis,

I don't want to be your second choice. But I am, and I know you can't choose that.

I'm not mad at you.

I just wish you told me sooner so that I didn't start planning our future and getting my hopes up.

He must be really special, go be with him. Be happy with him, because its evident you're not happy with me.

I took Bruce, you keep Cliff.

I'll be back tomorrow to pick up the rest of my stuff, after that, please don't try to contact me.

I love you,

Eleanor

Louis read and reread the letter over again. His breathing began to quicken as he leaned against the counter

"No. No, this can't be happening" he said under his breath. His vision was blurry and he was sweating profusely, his eyes were oddly dry.

He was happy. No, no he was devastated. His girlfriend just left him. Why didn't he feel devastated?

Remembering the phone call last night, he closed his eyes and thought about his messed up life, all his problems that were too complicated to fix. All of his insecurities and fuck ups.

He had to make this right

He grabbed his phone and called back Harry's number

It rang 3 times before he answered.

•

Harry sat in a small cafe with Niall. They agreed to meet up and catch up with one another. Niall knew how sensitive Harry was on Louis' topic, so he tried to avoid that.

"Have you heard from the boys?" Niall asked, oh how Harry missed his thick, comforting accent

"Not really, I called Liam the other day, we talked for a while, how about you?" he said

"I've talked to Li too yeah. Zayn and I met up about a week ago also" he said, nodding his head. They went quiet when they realized that they had kinda cornered the whole 'Louis' topic

"Have you talked to him?" Harry asked

"Yeah, not recently. A few months ago" Niall said

"...have you?" Niall asked

"I um...I called him last night. I was really drunk-"

"Harry" Niall cut him off

"What did you say to him?" He asked hesitantly

"I just cried and screamed and...I might have said that I love him. I don't remember really" he said quietly, putting his head down on his arms

Niall sighed and comforted Harry by massaging his forearm, while he had his head down taking a breather.

"And what did he say back?" Niall asked after a moment of silence

"He just told me to stop, and he hung up" Harry said shakily.

Niall got up and moved to sit beside Harry on the other side of the booth, pulling him in for a hug

"Its gonna be okay, shh" Niall consoled as Harry held back tears, his chin resting on Nialls shoulder.

Just then, Harry's phone rang. They pulled back and the caller ID came up as "Lou☀️". Harry blushed and held the phone in his hand

"After all these years you didn't delete his contact? You didn't change his name?" Niall smiled

When Louis and Harry first met, they exchanged numbers and that was what Louis saved his contact as. Harry never changed it.

Harry nodded and pressed the accept button, placing the phone up to his ear

"Harry?" A soft voice asked on the other side

"Yeah" Harry answered

"You um...you called me last night" he said

"Yeah" he said

"Look. Can we just meet up?" Louis asked desperately

"No we can't" Harry swallowed back tears

"Why not?"

"I'm um...I'm busy" he answered

"Well when are you available?" Louis asked

"I don't want to meet up with you"

"Please Harry"

"No"

"I'm going to be at the Beechwood Cafe tomorrow at 12am. Show up if you change your mind" and with that, Louis hung up

Niall overheard his entire the whole conversation, feeling sympathy for his friends.

"Haha, Beechwood cafe, like Falling" Niall laughed

"Not the time Ni" Harry said, but smiled slightly

"So do you need a drive tomorrow?" Niall asked hopefully

"I'm not going, you can't make me" Harry said sadly

"You're right, I can't make you. I just want to know why you don't want to see him?" Niall asked

"He broke my heart" Harry said sadly

"But ex's can still be friends, no?"

"Some can yeah, if they break up mutually. But if I was just friends with him I know I would ruin that" Harry tried to explain

Niall didn't press it, Harry was stressed enough.

After lunch, they hugged and said goodbye to eachother

"Love you H" Niall said

"Love you too" Harry replied

They parted ways and Harry fell asleep instantly.

•

Louis woke up the next morning, his cheeks red and his eyes stinging. Harry didn't want him back, but why would he? Louis was nothing but a dick to him, why would he run back to that.

He could be dating someone else, for all Louis knows. Happy and in love, something Louis couldn't give him.

He did his morning routine, walking into the kitchen, expecting to see a smiling face sitting at the kitchen table.

Realization hit him that Eleanor wasn't there anymore. And it wasnt that he missed her he just missed the company.

"Oh" he said quietly

He looked down at his phone. 11:30pm.

He grabbed a hoodie from the closet. Oops, nope, that ones Harry's merch. He put that one back and grabbed a diffrent one.

He hopped in the car and sped to the Beechwood Cafe. He didn't expect Harry to show up, but he waited just in case.

12 came and went. Louis was starting to lose hope.

"Hi sir, you haven't ordered anything in 45 minutes. You either have to order something else or leave, this is loitering" the lady said

"Oh" he looked at his phone to see 1:28pm

"I'll order another coffee, please" he said. She rolled her eyes and walked away

He looked around, hoping to see a head of curls among the crowds, but to no avail.

He got his coffee and drank it slowly.

He brought the cup back up to his face, but it was empty. This was his 4th coffee.

He stood up frustrated and threw the cup out, walking towards the door

The lady sighed, happy that he was finally leaving.

He made his way to the door, when it opened, revealing Harry.

•

Harry sat at home, bored out of his mind. The idea of actually going to the Beechwood cafe playing in the back of his mind.

No, he told himself. He won't go.

He watched as the clock hit noon. A feeling of guilt washed over him, thinking that Louis was sitting there all alone, waiting for him.

"Fuck it" he huffed under his breath, grabbing his coat and heading out the door.

He sped to the cafe and walked inside

•

This was the first time in about 4 years that they had seen eachother in person.

Louis had a clean shaven face, his hair swept over his forehead, peaking out infront of his crystal blue eyes that seemed to light up the second he saw Harry. His collar bones were prominent, sticking out like a sore thumb from under his hoodie.

His sleeves were rolled up, playing with the knotted and fraying drawstrings around his neck.

Harry looked cold. Not temperature wise, he looked fed up and done with the world.

His eyes were a dull hunter green colour, a scowl etched upon his unshaven face. His hair was long and messy, the top pulled back into a bun

He had on a light brown trench coat with white trousers, paired with a scuffed up pair of black dress shoes

Hes gotten taller. Buffer.

Harry shoves his hands in his pockets as they stand there, watching eachother, neither daring to speak first.

"Hi" Harry spoke, but only a faint voice came out, he might as well just mouthed the word

Louis nodded slightly, walking back to the table

The lady behind the counter tangled her hands in her hair, groaning that he wasn't leaving yet.

They sat down at the table silently, Harry scooted the chair closer to the table, making a screeching sound

They both looked down at their hands nervously, at a loss of words. Both of their mouths opened and closed like fish, but no sound came out.

"Why'd you do it?" Harry shrugged emotionally, his voice already cracking, still looking down at his hands

Louis shook his head, not trusting his voice

Harry looked up at him, making eye contact for the first time. His glazed over eyes asked the question again.

"I don't know" Louis squeaked out

"I just....I don't understand why you're so upset about it" he said quietly

"Because we broke up, people get upset over things like that" Harry replied shakily

"But why are we like this? 5 years later. " Louis asked

"Because you broke my heart" Harry snapped, getting a few looks from people. The lady behind the counter was making no effort into hiding that she was eavesdropping

It was quiet for a moment

"I loved you and you broke my heart, okay?" Harry said quieter, breaking eye contact and fiddling with his fingers

"I didn't....I didn't know you loved me" Louis said

"Why else would I pepper your face with kisses and lay on your chest and want to spend every waking moment with you? Why else would I have written an entire fucking album about you? Why else would we be here, right now, having this conversation 5 years later if I didn't love you? Trust me, if I didn't love you I would have moved on my now" Harry ranted

"I didn't know you felt that way about me" Louis replied softly

"Well...I do" Harry replied stubbornly

"If that's all, I'll be going now" Harry said, standing up.

The lady behind the counter quickly jumped up, ran to the door and locked it.

"Ma'am, could you open the door please?" Harry asked

"Don't leave still mad at him, darling" She said in a smooth voice

She smiled and walked into the back, Harry rolling his eyes

"Just go back home with your girlfriend" Harry muttered

"She broke up with me" Louis said

Harry looked up, stunned

"Why?" He asked

"Because she heard me talking about how I was still....in love with you" Louis said softly, pulling his sleeves down around the palms of his hands.

"When?" Harry whispered

"Last night" Louis replied in the same tone

The lady slapped a hand over her mouth

"Can we start over? At least as friends?" Louis asked

Harry thought for a moment

"I'd like that" he said quietly

Louis gave Harry a small shy smile, Harry gave him one back

"Hi, I'm Louis Tomlinson. Nice to meet you" Louis said, extending his hand for Harry to shake

"I'm Harry, it's nice to meet you too" he replied, he couldn't help but smile at Louis.

He extended his hand and grasped onto Louis' firmly, shaking his hand professionally.

"Would you like to go for lunch with me? I'd like to get to know you better" Louis asked, and Harry nodded shyly

They both grinned big, walking out of the cafe together, and into another restaurant. They wanted to give the lady a break.

Louis was walking behind Harry, and he was almost out of the cafe when the woman touched his shoulder softly. He turned around

"Win back your lover man" she winked

"I'm gonna try" he replied

"Thank you" he said, before he followed Harry out of the cafe, and they began walking down the street with a smile on their faces, all their problems seeming to fade.