"Hello, Maricella. My name is Amber. I am the pack doctor." The blonde woman smiled happily at me and I gave a small nod before looking at the white tile floor. My bare feet dangled over it. I couldn't tell if I was too small or the cot I was sitting on was too tall. I was probably too small because Uncle Jace was standing beside me and the cot didn't look to be too tall on him. "I heard you have been having some issues with a partially severed mate bond. So I am here to check on it and give you a bit of relief for it, okay?" Her tone had an expectancy of a reply so I nodded.

I glanced up at her and her light blue eyes were kind as she moved closer. "Is it alright if I touch you? I want you to be completely comfortable here." Her voice was soft and gentle I nodded. I didn't want them to give me a reason to not like me.

Something inside of me told me that Uncle Jace and Davin wouldn't throw me away, for some reason they liked me, cared for me. I tried to shake the thought from my head. They liked me because of a story in a photo album, a story about a happy little girl with grey eyes. They were protective because I had been hurt and in their eyes I was Uncle Jace's niece and Davin's cousin. As Davin said, he had grown up with me even if I never did with him.

She picked up my wrist and checked my pulse while looking at the watch on her wrist. I could see her nodding her head to the pulse. I could see several pauses in the rhythm her head was making and she frowned. When she set my wrist down I lowered my gaze, avoiding hers.

"Okay, so you have a slightly irregular heart rate. It is a bit worrisome but with the state your body is in, it is not unusual." She was looking at me but I refused to look at her. It was impossible to try and shake off the lessons I had been forced into. I had only been gone for a day and I had years of it branded into me. The mantras were my life. "Alpha Lawrence, could you set her on the scale. I know she is underweight but I need an actual weight." Large arms wrapped around me and lifted me easily off of the cot. I couldn't help how I stiffened slightly at the contact.

I still didn't have the strength to walk. Yesterday had been hard on my body and I was now feeling the effects. I had a bit of a rattle in my chest and I felt cold all the time. I spent most of the morning wrapped up in several blankets shivering while Davin, Collin, or Seamus had sat beside me on the couch. I had been allowed to watch a movie and Collin said he would take me out for movies all the time if I was that excited. Which made the excitement instantly disappear.

I wasn't sure why Ingrid made smiling or excitement seem forbidden but she did. It made him happy to see me excited about something and so the two lessons were clashing inside of me. I needed to do things that made the pack members happy but I could not show my emotions. It was enough to give me a throbbing headache.

Uncle Jace set me down carefully on the scale and I wobbled slightly, trying to stay upright on my trembling legs as Amber quickly marked my weight down. My legs shook hard and I felt like they would buckle but Uncle Jace picked me up without a word before setting me back down on the cot. My breath was coming out in pants from the exertion and I felt suddenly tired, my eyelids drooping.

"No sleeping yet. I know that was exhausting for you, Maricella, but I have a few more tests to do. Just try to stay awake, alright?" She wasn't looking at me and so I glanced upwards, taking in the lines on her face and the tight bun she had her hair pulled into. "You weigh seventy-four pounds and at the height of five foot three inches, that puts your BMI at nearly thirteen. You are severely underweight, which is something we all could clearly see." She gestured at me and I looked down at my thin wrists. I hated feeling guilty for something I didn't have any control over but I had worried people. That burden was on me.

"I'm sorry." The whisper was barely audible and I started to pick at my nails, pulling at my cuticles. Uncle Jace grasped my hands in one of his to stop the motion, my heart jumped at the motion before I tried to force it to stop. My nails were still ragged even if the skin was smoother. Davin had rubbed more of the paste into my hand earlier, telling me it was an all-natural beeswax and herbal hand paste to help with dry and rough skin. I had been confused as to why they had it. Collin had spoken up telling me they worked rough jobs and didn't need bleeding or cracked hands and that I needed to stop asking questions and enjoy being pampered.

"There is nothing you need to apologize for, Maricella." His voice was low and I gave a small nod because I knew he wanted me to acknowledge his words. He squeezed my hands gently before he pulled it back. I missed the contact almost immediately. My hands were cold and his were warm. I wanted to be curled up in my little blanket nest with Davin teaching the Collin and Seamus how to braid my hair. It had felt strange at first but having people gently move my hair around made me immediately sleepy and relaxed.

"I need a blood sample and then we are almost done." Amber was smiling at me, I could tell and I risked a glance upwards, her blue eyes were still kind but I let my gaze drop to the stethoscope around her neck. She went to a cupboard and I followed her movements carefully. She turned around with a needle and a small tube it was attached to. I felt my heart start to beat frantically. I never had a needle before. Without thinking I reached out and clutched Uncle Jace's hand with my own, needing something to cling to.

He wrapped his large hand around mine and gave a gentle shushing sound. "It's okay, Maricella." He sat on the cot beside me and I leaned towards him. he gathered me up into his arms before settling me onto his lap. I buried my face into his chest as I held out my arm for the doctor. The tv had shown me what taking blood looked like and I scrunched my face up, closing my eyes tightly as her slightly warm hand grasped my elbow and lifted it. I bit my lip and tried not to whimper as she tapped my skin slightly.

"This is the easy part. I can see all your veins so I only need to do this once. It's okay. It will only pinch a little bit." True to her words there was a slight pinch and the feeling of something moving through my skin. I shuddered at it and clenched Uncle Jace's flannel shirt in my small fist. He rubbed my back and crooned nonsense words to me as he rocked me back and forth. The feeling of panic was rising to the point where I wanted to hyperventilate but the needle was quickly gone from my skin and she pressed something soft against the spot it had gone in.

I glanced downwards, expecting to see a lot of blood but she was holding a cotton ball against my skin and she carefully untangled my hand from Uncle Jace's shirt and positioned it so I could hold the cotton ball. "Keep pressure on it, I'm going to put this in the cooler. Then I'm going to check your breathing. It is worrisome." She let my arm go and I pressed the cotton ball to the small wound and I stared at it intently.

"See? That wasn't so bad was it?" The ever present thread of amusement in Uncle Jace's voice was a bit more prominent and I could hear the smile in his voice.

I found myself scowling slightly even as that voice that reminded me eerily of Ingrid screamed. "I don't like change. I don't like new things." It was the most honest I had ever been and Uncle Jace wrapped an arm around my waist as he pulled himself further onto the cot, letting me sit between his legs. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my head. I felt uncomfortable for a brief moment before I relaxed. He felt safe, safer than Alpha Lawrence had been and that was saying something.

"Why don't you like new things?" He said it lightly and I frowned, trying to formulate my problem into words.

"I don't know how to deal with them. I was never allowed new things and you keep giving them to me. I don't understand them and I can't deal with them." There was a warble in my voice and I felt my bottom lip tremble. "Omegas aren't supposed to experience life outside of our station and I don't know how to function right now because everything is confusing and new. I hate new." Tears filled my eyes and I bit my lip. I sounded like a child but everything was difficult for me to process. I had been forcefully kept in the dark like all the other Omegas. Having everything around me that was new and confusing and not having the ability to shut it all out was making me almost panicky.

"It's okay. Breathe and let your mind go blank." His voice was low and I took in exaggerated breaths before letting them out, trying to make the racing tornado of my brain go calm. He reached over and took the cotton ball from me and I let my hands fall into my lap.

"Maricella, I am going to check your breathing right now. I understand you are having a bit of a panic attack but I need to make sure you don't have fluid in your lungs. You might actually have pneumonia and you don't need that right now." She didn't wait for my permission as she pressed the stethoscope to my chest as I inhaled and exhaled. I hated how my breath rattled in my chest and she hummed slightly before pulling back. My brain finally calmed down and I felt exhausted. I leaned against Uncle Jace and closed my eyes as his arms tightened on my slightly. "There is a bit of fluid in her lungs but she doesn't have a fever yet. I'm going to give her some antibiotics as a preventative. She should get some rest." She moved away and Uncle Jace picked me up and carefully laid me down on the cot. I opened my eyes to look at him and he gave me a tender smile before he brushed my hair from my face.

"I'm going to talk to Amber, you stay here and rest." He pulled his hand back and I nodded, curling up on the cot. He pulled a blanket over me and I clutched it in my hands before burying my face into the pillow. "Did you mix up the medication? She hasn't had another episode but I know it's only a matter of time." I could hear them talking in low voices and I didn't want to listen because I knew, even though the subject was me, I wasn't allowed to eavesdrop. I wasn't allowed to know things that were going on around me.

"I did. I'll give her the shot along with the antibiotics and some nutritional tablets. You have to pick up some meal replacement smoothies. I want her to drink them in between her meals. She won't be able to eat a lot but the meal replacements will give her the missing nutrition and up her calorie intake. The standard drill with these cases." There was a faint silence and I could hear her give a small sigh. "I think I should examine her mental state." There was a faint growl.

"No. She doesn't need that right now." Uncle Jace's voice was sharp and I could hear someone moving around.

"She has been conditioned into believing an ideology and I have a feeling putting her in a different position in the pack will cause her undue stress. Davin told me she almost has a panic attack when Collin tried to clean up a cup she broke. She can't be stressed out, not while her body is focusing on repairing itself." There was a sound of angry sympathy from the doctor. "They brainwashed her at a very young age. That ideology is part of her identity but if I can figure out how to untangle it from her actual identity then we can deprogram her." The words brought a feeling of confusion. I didn't think I had been brainwashed. I had been taught my place in the pack and it was the place I was supposed to stay.

"So she wouldn't act like an Omega?" His voice was low and I could hear his boots on the tile floor, his voice faded slightly, as if he had moved further away.

"Not really. She will probably still have some characteristics of an Omega because during her formative years where she was supposed to be figuring out who she was, she was programmed to be something else. Those won't go away. She will most like still be shy and unable to hold people's gaze for long periods of time. She will probably be timid, frighten easily and won't like people cleaning up after her but she won't panic." Amber was soothing and I ignored the angry screaming of Ingrid's voice in my head and focussed more on the conversation.

"Panic?" He sounded confused and there was more moving around.

"She is having panic and anxiety attacks. Omegas are put in what I like to call an isolation box." There was a louder growl and I could hear a sound of irritation from Amber. "Not an actual box, you idiot. It's a figurative box of rules. They are surrounded by rules and by things they cannot do. They have been trained that if they step outside of that box they will be punished. They have the rules literally beaten into them. She isn't scarred like some of the Omegas I have seen so I take it her 'teacher' didn't want anyone to know what was going on." Her voice was closer and I rolled over and cracked my eyes, watching them. Uncle Jace's back was tight with tension and Amber's posture seemed unconcerned but she had a small frown on her face.

"Are you trying to make me want to murder my brother more than I already do?" The words were so low I could barely hear them but it made me want to shrink under the blanket. I didn't want Alpha Lawrence to be killed, especially by his own brother. He was a good Alpha. He had taken care of me.

"No. I'm trying to explain this to you. She is out of her box and can't get back in it." Amber stood in the room and spread out her hands outwards as she said it. Uncle Jace ran his hands over his face with a sigh.

"That is a good thing, isn't it?" He turned so I could see the profile of his face and Amber rolled her eyes as she turned to face him.

"No. She doesn't know how to process anything outside of her box. She cannot retreat back into her box so it is causing her to panic because her mind is expecting punishment. Everything is different for her and its overwhelming her brain and it can't cope." She looked at the end of her patience as she sliced her hand through the air repeatedly as she talked.

"So treat her like an Omega so she will feel secure?" He sounded so confused that I wanted to smile. I understood what she was trying to say and I was happy someone was able to articulate what I had been feeling or at least explain what I was feeling so even I could understand.

"God, you are thick. No, give her a safe place to retreat to when things get overwhelming for her. Make her a literal box, fill it with comforting items and when she starts to panic she can retreat to it to calm down. It will give her the ability to process without panicking. She can be in her safe place and watch the world around her." Amber looked like she was trying to fight between irritation and understanding. I thought it was slightly humorous how she was being rude to the man who looked twice as wide as her. I had a feeling Uncle Jace wouldn't hurt her but it was strange watching their interactions. Everyone I had met so far had a rough presence, not physically but verbally. Their actions were brash and their words were sometimes harsh but they seemed to take everything in stride. The words didn't seem to affect them.

"She's nineteen. I'm not going to put her into a box so she feels safe." Uncle Jace gestured to me and I closed my eyes, not wanting them to know I wasn't sleeping. The fear of punishment for the action was nearly overwhelming. I fought it back. Uncle Jace hadn't given me a reason to fear him. He hadn't hurt me.

That voice in my head hissed out the word yet and I tried to shove it away. He hadn't hurt me.

"She has the emotional stability of a child. She is a child, nineteen or not. We have to think simply with this. She has been taken from her box, give her a new one." She waved her hands as she talked and her face was pinched into a frown. "Anxiety isn't a set thing or something that you can understand without experiencing it yourself. I can guarantee that if you give her a safe place she will progress faster. The panic attacks will lessen and she will be more comfortable." The thought of having a safe place, somewhere no one else could go was almost calming. Having a place to calm down and think about things wasn't something I thought I needed until that very moment.

"Are you sure?" He sounded uncertain and I looked at him. For a moment he looked helpless, as if he had no clue what to do to make me better. I wasn't sure why I was viewed as broken, I never felt broken before but the way everyone was acting and talking made me question that.

"I can't be sure because with these types of mental issues no one can be a hundred percent sure but it will help her process and decompress. I am eighty-nine percent certain it will help." She let out a heavy sight before rubbing her forehead.

"And the other eleven percent?" There was a sharp edge of worry in his voice and I watched as Amber paused for a moment, looking uncertain of herself.

"That is me being unsure if her anxiety is caused from the removal of her box or the fear of being punished because of it." She crossed her arms over her chest slowly and looked at Jace who looked horrified.

"I would never-" He didn't finish the sentence but I understood what he meant. He would never punish me. It was nice to know he would not but Alpha Lawrence never punished me either and I was still punished on occasion by others. It was natural in a pack. The Omegas needed behavioural correction as Ingrid called it.

"I know but she doesn't understand that. The type of conditioning Omegas go through is brutal. She views herself as a lesser person that needs to have punishment to correct her wrong behaviour." Amber shifted on her feet. Her face was sympathetic as she glanced as me. I made sure my eyes were closed enough that she couldn't see me staring. "She is scared. I would be too if I were in her position. Just keep doing what you are doing and make her the fucking box. It will help." She glanced at me again before turning towards a cupboard on the wall. There was a silence and I opened my eyes, looking at Uncle Jace's large form.

"Maybe it would help." I blinked and Uncle Jace looked at me with a small frown. I felt a surge of slight fear at the thought he would punish me for listening when I wasn't supposed to.

"You were listening?" He didn't sound angry and I gave a timid nod. It was strange not having someone be angry at me for listening. Sometimes I got punished for listening when I hadn't been. It had been brutal because I couldn't explain anything and I knew no one would listen to me anyway as I got slapped or strapped.

"She's brainwashed, not stupid, Alpha Lawrence." Amber sounded amused and she winked at me slightly and I dropped my gaze from her quickly.

"Don't be rude, Amber. Do you want a box?" He didn't take his gaze off of me and I nodded again. I darted my eyes back and forth, trying to articulate what I wanted to say. Even now I had to plan my words, the thought made me wince slightly.

"Sometimes I feel like I can't escape and I want to curl up in a little ball so the world ignores me. It might help. If I am in there and everyone ignores me I might be able to understand what is going on." I lifted my gaze to his before I let it skitter away. I put my arms under my head, lifting it slightly.

"Okay. Do you want it to have cushions in it?" His face was relaxed and I scrunched up my nose at the thought of sitting in a box without something underneath me. It wouldn't be comfortable but he wouldn't have asked if he wouldn't be able to do it.