I remember the day

The day I gave up on an assignment

Where the grade I would get

Didn't seem to matter

Most people would say

'That's good! You're not stressing!'

But it's NOT good

I wasn't being my normal self

I was lacking care

Lacking interest

Lacking sleep

I knew I was going to fail the assignment and I just accepted it

I don't accept defeat

Or at least I never had before

Why was I being so careless?

So uninterested?

Why did I have constant thoughts

of not being here?

Of course, I know why,

I wanted something

I wanted to die