"I'll see you tomorrow?"

Connor stood in front of Evan, both standing at the doorway of the Hansens' house. Evan held onto the strap of his bag, once again feeling the nervousness cloud his mind. All he could manage was a nod.

"Alright, cool," Connor responded, suddenly bewildered by something. His hands felt as if they were suppose to be holding on to something, and yet, it wasn't there.

He realised that his hand was moving forward without his control, causing him to clench his fist, recoiling and holding onto the sash of his satchel.

"Bye, Ev."

"Bye!"

With that, Connor left.

Evan entered the house and shut the door behind him. He was exhausted, and yet incredibly delighted. He actually worked up the courage to talk to Connor, all on his own! It was such a huge step forward, especially for him. He sat down on his bed, absolutely quaking with excitement.

His expression was a grin. He found it extremely difficult to stop smiling at nothing. It was almost annoying to hear his own heart beating loudly, drumming rhythmically and quickly as he heard himself giggle.

Suddenly, he felt that he wanted to jump about, just because he was excited. Before he could even comprehend it, he felt his legs bouncing about. He felt his whole body skipping and prancing.

He willed himself to stop celebrating over his act of bravery, and his body came to a halt. He had to take in a huge breath, trying to relax. His shoulders suddenly felt like they were shivering from the excitement, now that he finally had control over his senses again. They shivered for a bit, before calming and relaxing.

Evan sighed, unable to believe that he had celebrated over such a small feat. It seemed extremely stupid that he was celebrating his ability to form a sentence. Yep, it definitely sounds stupid!

Yet, at the same time, he felt that he should not think of it as stupid. Everyone has their own targets, and the amount of effort it takes to reach that target is different. He should be celebrating. After all, it was a miracle that he had even had the guts to face Connor.

He walked over to his bed, lying down and stared at the ceiling. He felt accomplished. Now that he had taken this step forward, he finally felt as if he was able to continue forward with other goals that he has in mind. Things from his stuttering, to the tension between him and his friends.

"Speaking of friends," Evan muttered to himself, once again noticing the shadows of the windows stretching on the ceiling, "I wonder how Connor thinks of all this…"

—————

Connor bid Evan farewell, and was on his way home.

He found himself hurrying away from Evan's house at a relatively quicker pace than usual. He actually felt nervous to be around Evan, which was a strange thing to say. After walking away from the Hansen's house for about a minute, Connor felt himself relax.

Finally, the palpitations in his heart started to soften. Instead, the soft tapping of his footsteps occupied his mind, covering the soft rhythm of his hearts. His tense shoulders twitching and aching started to slowly slink down, finally allowing Connor with a piece of mind.

He lifted his right hand, allowing it to stay a few centimeters away from his face. The sun was still shining bright, hanging in the sky above him and allowing his hand to light up. His eyes scanned the hand he had seen his whole life, trying to comprehend a mystery that clouded his mind.

That emptiness he felt just then.

Just as he was about to leave Evan's house. He noticed something very peculiar. He had this notion that he had forgotten something, for his hands had felt extremely empty at that point. He gave it a quick thought, shutting his eyes to think.

The sudden inkling of what it may have been struck Connor, which made him open his eyes once more. He had not been fazed by the idea, since he had been pretty sure that it was the correct answer to this emptiness he had felt. He blinked, unable to believe that he had evolved to become such a sappy person.

He missed holding Evan's hand.

They had an unspoken routine, ever since they had been friends. They would walk home and talk about their day together. Usually, they would both chat and rant about whatever trouble that had occurred to them that day. For Connor, it would usually be about how bad a teacher had been. For Evan, it would usually be something that was minor, and yet has a major impact on his anxiety, something similar to the situation such as ; speaking too quietly which requires the other party to ask for a repeat for three times, and then awkwardly acknowledging after the third attempt to listen to avoid a fourth time.

It wasn't until they had been dating did they start to hold hands on their way back from school. Despite rarely being in Evan's house, Connor has escorted Evan back to his house for a long time. He just never entered his home until Evan asked. This association of holding hands and leading Evan back to his house was what lead him to suddenly have the muscle memory of holding Evan's hand.

Connor chuckled, absolutely amused that he had become such a cheesy and comical person, to have missed being his partner's hand so dearly. He placed his hand to his side, trying to hide his embarrassment of being such a romantic fool.

Speaking of his relationship with Evan triggered another memory, his relationship with Zoe. It was such an utter mess. He had absolutely abused Zoe, and there was no excuses behind. He knew that he had been extremely unfair to Zoe, which only deepened his sense of guilt.

The soft tapping of his footsteps soon blurred into the background, leaving Connor overwhelmed with his hectic thoughts. Waves after waves of horrible memories flooded his mind. How he would often harm his little sister. How she would be on the ground, tears pouring down her face as Connor loomed over her, his anger getting the best of him.

The thought of Zoe in such a despairing state made him cringe. He click his tongue, disgusted with his actions. It left a bad taste in his mouth, the despicable torture he inflicted on Zoe.

He had planned to apologise to Zoe for a while now. It was ever since he had that week of time to reflect on himself, but this sudden train of thought left him extremely disappointed. As if an apology could make up for years of abuse? As if a measly apology could make for the despair she felt? As if it wasn't as if Zoe wanted him dead—

The sudden heaviness of his footsteps startled him. It allowed him to jolt back to reality. He was still on his way home. It'll take another few seconds before the house comes into view. He took a moment to compose himself. He needed some time to rethink his decision.

He halted, taking the time to reconsolidate his thoughts. He needed to apologise to Zoe, he just didn't know how. He was more than ready to havr been attacked by Zoe, simply out of her anger. He was prepared to exit her room covered with bruises. The thing is, did that help in any way?

Zoe could kill him in her room right there and then, and it would still be the correct reaction. She still would most likely have trouble forgiving him than anything, which was what made him panic the most.

It took him more than a few moments of pacing about and hammering his head with his hands to realise that he should just apologise to Zoe right now. It is the first step towards recovery, and he should be able to try and take the first step.

Determined, he marched on towards the house. He paced his way until his house came into view, the pathway towards the house decorated with the natural green of the grass beside the pavement. The closer he reached the house, the more he felt himself becoming more determined.

He ran up the porch, hearing the annoying sound of creaking as he stepped on the wooden boards. He lunged towards the door, twisting the door knob and revealing Cynthia.

"Connor, you're home!" Cynthia enthusiastically noted. She could see that Connor's face was scrunched up. His brows furrowed, a frown on his face from the determined decision. She misinterpreted it as a sign that he was angry, which prompted her to start trying to lighten the mood.

"So, how is Evan?"

Connor was surprised. He had not expected Cynthia to ask about Evan, of all people. It took him a few seconds to back out of his frozen state to respond.

"Uh, Evan's fine, mom. He just…"

It had almost slipped his mind that he had not told his own parents about his relationship with Evan. They know them as friends, nothing more. It pained him to have to lie to his parents, but he just wasn't ready to tell his parents. Understandable, is it not?

"…he's going through some stuff. I'm just helping him through it in the best way I can."

"Oh," Cynthia acknowledged, pleasantly surprised that Connor was willing to even share his situation with her. Nevertheless, she had been extremely happy to finally hear his thoughts.

"Just give him some time," Cynthia added, her expression softens, "he'll come around."

To Connor, Cynthia sounded like she knew that from her own personally experience. He could not help but think that she was talking about Connor. How he was a piece of shit for such a long time, and recently started being less of a piece of shit.

"Maybe he will…I'll…I'll be up in Zoe's room if you need me."

Cynthia gave him a smile, acknowledging his answer. With that, Connor walked past her, rushing up the stairs and standing right outside Zoe's door. He felt himself hesitate, just as he was about to grab hold of the door knob.

Suddenly, all the confidence from before vanished into thin air. He could not reach for the door, no matter how he tried. The only effect to come out of it was the shaking of his hand. He then dropped his hand to his sides, feeling absolutely horrible for not even being able to face Zoe.

Luckily, he did not need to open the door himself. Zoe opened the room to her door, about to go grab a drink when she paused. She glanced from her phone, slightly stunned to see Connor standing in the doorway. Connor had been the same, as he did not expect Zoe to have opened the door.

Connor gulped, as he noticed the intense stare from Zoe.

"Oh, hey. What do you need?"

Connor took this time to recover from his shock, calming his heart which had been racing because of the sudden opening of the door. He gives himself a few seconds to let his heart continue beating at a normal pace.

He glances at Zoe, who had a neutral expression. The fact that she had nothing to say about Connor acting suspicious is strange, and terrifying at the same time. He could not tell if this behaviour had been because she was genuinely not curious, or that it was elicited from the fear of being the receiver of Connor's beating.

"I…I want to talk…I guess…" Connor managed to mutter out. Zoe raised her eyebrow, absolutely confused and yet curious. She stepped aside, pointing to her own room.

Inside the room, he could see Alana seated on her bed. She had been lying on her stomach, her hair had been undone, and it drapped over her shoulders like a waterfall. Alana noticed Connor and waved, to which Connor waved back.

Connor cringed, forcing out a smile. He could already feel the awkwardness about to befall them, and he braced himself, stepping into her room.