Not the best chapter yesterday but... meh

You looking fine af today, your name should have been beautiful instead :)

On with the chapter... ✨

************

✨Emilia POV

"Emilia? You with me? Answer me please." I break out of my daze looking at the young woman in front of me.

"How did you feel in there?"

I ignore her question and twist my head so it's facing the clock. Just fifty minutes left and then I can go.

Instead of even looking at the aspects of the office, my eyes dart to the grey scenery outside darkening the entire office; it was raining. Typical weather.

Axel drove me to a meeting centre where you pay for private counselling sessions. Sure I was wasting AL's money but that wasn't what I was thinking about.

"Emilia?" She asks me again, "What was it like?"

She huffs conjoining her hands together and placing them on the clipboard on the desk.

"I understand, it's not easy speaking to a random person."

"If you aren't going to talk then we can wait here in silence," she threatens me like silence is bad, I'd been trapped inside of it for weeks so I'd gotten used to that.

I ignore her again.

"Okay... how're you feeling in general?" She changes the question into something better but then again how would I even express what I was feeling?

"Silence? Okay I know it's difficult-

"Do you? It must be difficult sitting in a chair judging people all day," I make a brutal remark.

"Okay, fair enough. It's my first job, I'm new to this," she tells me sipping from her travel mug.

"And...?"

"And the reason I chose this is because I was in your position once. In fact, three years ago, I sat in that exact chair the same one you sit in now," she tells me impressively pointing to the leather chair.

Tilting my head to the side I stare at her in confusion.

"Yes, I know exactly how intimidating it is. But my reasoning for my visits may differ from yours."

She opens a drawer next to her desk and pulls out a a phone from a bag.

"I'm trying to find... look," she holds the phone in front of my face, the calendar app open to a date three years ago. Wednesday the eleventh of February.

"My first appointment here. I know how you feel. But sitting at the other side of this desk isn't easy either."

"Sitting on your high horse all day? Just dismissing and mocking every person who stepped foot in here? Can't relate," I deadpan.

"Like I say, I didn't choose this to judge people; I chose it to help people. The only horses I sit on are the ones at the stables on a Saturday morning."

I slump down further into my chair knowing I lost the argument, that's very unlike me.

"So, can you give me any ideas of your mental state? I've had some key information given by you elder Ax- given by your family." She sputters at the end.

Instead I ignore her question and peer up to the clock once again hoping it would go faster. Just forty more minutes to go.

The ticking sounds became louder and louder every moment I spent gawking at it, it hangs loosely against a white painted wall with posters glued just below that. The posters were vibrant too, especially the ones that say 'GET HELP BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE' and another that says, 'we're here to help, don't hurt yourself.'

They seemed aggressive to me, you can post a poster about something but it doesn't mean it's helpful. It's like bullying- you place a photo up on the school wall saying 'stop bullying' but that doesn't do a thing. Bullies need a valid reason to stop because they thrive from seeing others in pain. Talk about the negative effects of bullying, don't just tell them to stop.

"May I be excused?" I stand up expeditiously brushing the few random hairs away from my jeans.

"Our session isn't over," she took a glance down at the brown, strapped watch on her wrist, "we still have thirty five minutes left."

"And I don't want to be here, can I go?"

"Can you answer my question? Questions, I shall correct myself, there are many I need to ask you, I can only help if you cooperate with me."

"Shoot," I give up again pinching myself to distract my thoughts.

"Your mind... what's going on in there?" She asks politely, if only I could return this in a better attitude.

"Well... my brain cells are loving life at the moment- they tell me they love science." I sarcastically remark.

"Funny." No emotion can be seen on her face.

"I know."

"I'm trying to help..." her eyes plead me for an honest answer, people have it much worse than me; this is stupid I shouldn't even be here. It's a waste of good money.

"And I'm trying to get this over with so I can eat some pizza when I get home."

"Great you like pizza, what else do you like?" She picks a new topic to talk about, I was sceptical for a moment before I answered.

"Umm pineapple? And chocolate. And pineapple sorbet. And McNuggets. And paint. And blue markers- they smell great by the way," I smile picking the skin above the bed of my nails.

"Yes, great choices there, Emilia. Now tell me some things you hate," she writes everything down on the paper to her clipboard.

"My pet pig Kelsey. I hate her." I snigger mischievously.

"You have a pet pig? That's great! Why do you hate her?" She asks me curiously.

"She smells like shî- poop. She rolls around in dirt all day too. She also has a disease too, I call it 'meaniesnickompoop'," She laughs with me but it wasn't long before I return back to my sulking face.

"So you hate pigs? I'll write that down."

Did she really think I have a pet pig?

"Unfortunately I know too many, we just can't escape them," I turn to myself remembering all the nasty snakes in my life.

"What's your favourite celebrity?" She taps the pen against her chin, I'm not sure where she is going with this but okay...

"I can't choose. There's Harry Styles, Dylan O'Brian, Joseph Morgan, Ian Somerhalder, Draco Malfoy- I only like him when he is in his wizard form. I can't choose." I swing my legs back and forth with my legs dangle a few inches above the ground.

"Okay... we're getting some where."

She flips a page a writes in silence for a few deadly shrieking moments. I hated it and loved it at the same time.

"What about your parents? Your mum? Dad? What do they do? Your brothers didn't tell me anything," she bites her pen keeping it in her mouth.

I freeze for a moment shocked by her outrageous question, my mouth falls open forming into an 'o'.

I look up at the clock and see only fifteen minutes had past since I last checked. Just twenty five minutes to go. I can make it.

"Would you look at that, the vibrant alarms in my mind tell me your clock is wrong, let me fix that," I drag the chair to the space under the clock and pull it off the wall and move the time forward. Twenty five minutes to be exact, she looks so confused at first, I say she because I don't know her name. We never introduced each other.

She protests telling me to get down and fix the clock but I shake my head refusing.

"Thank you so much for this opportunity but the time really did fly by didn't it?" I grab my fluffy jacket from chair I was stood in and make an exit quickly.

"Wait we're not-

I slam the door and speed walk down the crisp white halls watching the blurry vision from the corner of my eyes while my centres darted this the floor. Double vision? I don't know, just get me out of here.

I really don't want to talk about my mum and Shawn anymore, there was just so much that had happened.

The brisk air chatters my teeth as I wrap the coat around my body tightly and walk to the car awaiting me.

A new, silver Mercedes sits in front of me with its fresh coat glistening in the cold, dark evening. This was Axel's, he had a thing for cars I suppose. He has a new one every week. At least I think he does.

"That was quick, you sure that was an hour?" He asks worriedly checking the time on his phone.

"The clocks were funny in there, none of the times were correct."

"Oh," he begins the engine as I strap the belt across my body wincing as the strap rubs against my neck.

I hated that, it would leave a red mark.

"I need to buy some cushioned pads for the seat belts, you're too short so they'll rub your neck."

We set off into a drive away from the Therapist's clinic, away from judgment is another way to put it.

The rain patters on the window screen as the wipers flush it away, tires running through the puddle made the most amazing melodies suited for sleep time.

Axel breaks at the red light resting his elbow against the window ledge with his hand proping his head up, he turns to stare at me.

"You okay? How did it go?"

"Fine," I grumble moodily.

"You don't sound like it, you sound like you're sad. Tell me what's wrong," he quivers his lip playfully.

"I am sad."

"Aww why?" He frowns, his eyebrows turn into one straight line.

I shrug my shoulders and fidget in my seat adjusting the belt against my neck. Pulling the longer side of my boot lace, I pull the boot off and leave them at the feet of my seat and cross my legs.

"Your feet don't smell do they?"

"Dunno." I shrug again.

"Ignorance isn't good, Bambina. I care for you, stop that," he avoids my eye contact and begins driving again slowly.

"Sorry."

*************

"Can't you just give me a piggy back? I don't want to put my shoes back on," I whine to Axel who stands in front of my side of the door letting the cold attack me.

"Fine, hurry up though, I'm hungry."

"You and me both," I tie my laces on both shoes together wrapping them round my neck and slip my arms to Axel's shoulder who adjusted me and ensured his car was locked.

He pushes the front door open kicking it closed with his leg while I continue to wrap my legs tightly around his torso.

"Mr Axel just in time," Valentina waddles over to us in her uniform just as Axel helps me to the ground.

"You hear that, Em? Food, I don't want no more of this cranky teenager crap. Eat before you kill me," he laughs taking the shoes from my shoulder and throwing them to the ground clattering.

"Hey, Mila," Blade flicks my nose making my face scrunch.

"Rex," I glare at him with my eyes turned into thin slits.

"You're back, great... let's go eat." Alessandro fixes his intelligent attire and walks straight past us, I reeked of rain but I'll have to wait. I'd still been using Axel's shower for the past two days since I'd returned, I hadn't really spoken much either. Just the same old conversations.

"DID I MISS ANYTHING?!" Gert walks through the entrance with Selfridges bags hanging from her arms.

"No, Gerty," replies Diego who skipped down the stairs gleefully with a distracted Luca trailing behind him, he was playing on his DS with the string of his hoodie hanging from his mouth.

"A little more enthusiasm, cuzzy!" Gert punches Diego in the arm, is she on drugs or something? She's happier than usual- probably because she hasn't seen me yet.

"Oh... you're back already," Gert's face scrunches up in disgust as she stares down at me from the tall height. Height really did run in the family, except i'm the only freak.

"Tough luck," I shrug storming past her, I was now even angrier than I was earlier, after that session with the intrusive woman I just wanted to pull my head through a wall.

"Gert, please be nice."

Elijah who just walks through the door huffs in a bored tone. He didn't even have to be here to know Gert was a bîtch. Almost like he already expects her to be nasty.

We all crowd into the dining room, Gert speaks about her adventures today while shopping, she said she'd shopped until her cards declined.

Can't relate.

"I guess you'd want these back, you hadn't spoken about them when you got back," Alessandro slips my phone into my hand keeping my old one in his pocket.

A smile breaks to my face and I wrap my arms around his torso squeezing it with all my might, he chuckles stroking my hair.

"I'm keeping them until after dinner, you know there's no phones at dinner."

I nod yes understanding him and slide the phone back into this blazer pocket and walk into the room sliding my feet along the floor.

"How did it go at the clinic?" Elijah inquires slicing his his steak in half. It was so red that it looked raw but I'm probably wrong, I know nothing about food.

"Fine."

"Just fine?" Alessandro asks.

"Fine."

"Tell us more," Alessandro requests of me.

"It was good."

"Three words is not enough to express yourself, what happened?" Alessandro replies to me with a questionable tone.

That's a lie, usually the most powerful phrases are the shortest, like 'I love you' is three words that captures so much emotion and meaning, three words can change someone's life.

"No response?" He asks after a minute of dreadful silence covered by scratching of plates.

I fidget under their watchful eyes that were making me uncomfortable.

"What happened to her? Any other day she would be happy to gouge my eyes out," Gert laughs shoving a piece of meat in her mouth. I on the hand had chicken nuggets with ketchup on the side. I'm too rough to eat steak, it feels like I'm breaking my teeth. Also I hate beef that isn't easily chewed. The steak always floods with oil too giving it no taste, I don't like spicy food but I don't like my food bland either.

"I can change that if you like?" I viciously stab a nugget drowning it in ketchup.

"Anyways, I got the rat something from shopping," she exits the room for a millisecond before reentering.

She struts around the table to be before Blade snatches the bag from him and peers inside.

"Seriously? When will you grow up?" He pulls out a plush teddy of a customised rat or mouse that says 'Emilia' on it.

That hurts, it's one thing calling me names but she really went out of her own way to buy me a plush toy to remind me of my misfortunes.

"Nice, let me go buy you a plush of a pig, it suits you well," Blade says menacingly.

"It's a joke. Chill." She rolls her eyes smirking.

"Am I laughing?" Alessandro asks rudely. I remain quiet pushing the ketchup around with my fork. That's not really working out for me.

"My humour isn't for everyone. Tracey would love this," she laughs placing a hand in her chest.

"Tracey is a boorish girl who torments people to get a laugh out of it," Elijah inputs.

"She's also 17 and my little sister, she's just like Blade yet you wouldn't say this about him." She sits back in her seat stuffing her face.

"Yeah I don't care, don't do that again," Ally points his finger with his knife while my lip trembles but I bite it to stop myself crying.

"Oh get over it, it was a gift."

Blade throws the plush to the other side of the room bouncing off of the wall, he grumbles incoherent words taking huge

gulps of water. Luca and Diego sit back and observe the scenes, Luca occasionally stealing something from Diego's plate because he claims there wasn't enough food for him on his plate.

"You okay?" Axel slides a hand on my upper back soothing me, I nod shaking two tears away from my eyes.

"Well it's been nice but I must get going back to work, Gertrude come with me please."

Alessandro stands buttoning his blazer and tightening his tie ensuring to leave my phones in his seat, he pats my head before exiting.

*************

I'd just gotten out of Axel's shower and now I was braiding my hair, I had avoided everyone after dinner because I couldn't bare having a conversation.

Even though we had many conversations about what happened I always tried to avoid them, talking about the plainness and coldness of the room makes me nauseous. There was something so frightening about a white/grey room. It daunts me.

I hadn't even mentioned anything about it, it was something I avoided. Even seeing Al with a gun made me want to throw up, sure it was a good cause such as saving me but deep down I knew he was a good man... right?

I hadn't questioned why I was kidnapped either, my curiosity shall stay a secret to stop any arguments.

In fact out of everything I was more scared to stay alone hence why my sleeping arrangements differed every nights. Seeing my brothers with a weapon felt natural and something I was used to, sure I had inquiries but I didn't want to express them either.

Finally building up the courage, I switch on my phone and immediately I am bombarded with notifications from Rain and Felix. My phone spazzed out and stopped working, it just switched off and wouldn't let me tap anything. It was so hot it burned on the touch.

I smack it with my knuckles a few times hoping it would turn on but I was out of luck, it wouldn't turn on no matter how many times I press down on the button.

I decide to leave it there to cool off and maybe it'll work in the morning, my phone wasn't a priority for me right now, sleep was.

Various knocks in the door drew my attention to the twisting knob. Axel.

"Hey," he smiles.

"Hi," I mumble back. I hadn't been very vocal either, I'd find it hard to say more than five words in a row.

"I'm sorry about her," he spits with such disgust and repulsion in his voice.

"It is what it is," I shrug not knowing what to say, her rude and unmannered self was unnecessary.

"But she's horrible and I'm sorry," his voice lowers.

"Why apologise? It wasn't you..."

"But she's living in our house for the time being and I WILL NOT let her treat you like that when your closer to blood than her."

What surprised me was how he expressed himself by saying I was closer to blood than her. I mean he is her cousin and I'm his sister, but then again she's more family than I ever will. I'd been here for like three months. That's nothing compared to her.

Axel watches me in the mirror for the next five minutes as I finish my braids, it was my best hairstyle for school. Speaking of, I go back on Monday which saddens me, it feels like a million years since I've stepped foot into school. Just looking back, I've spent so long off of school I'm not sure if my grades will meet the standards of the expected grades.

Does everyone know what happened? What lies have been spread about me in the past three weeks?

Halloween past a long time ago, we were now in December, just thinking this is my first Christmas with my new family. At least that's something I have to look forward to, I always loved Christmas with my mum. We'd celebrate it by inviting the neighbours over since we didn't have much family in Brighton, we'd hang out Christmas list on the tree so Santa could come down the chimney and look at them.

I remember the dry, burnt turkey that my mum would always attempt to make, and the bitter sprouts my mum would force me to eat. Our neighbours children who would cry every time they had to stay still. When we'd all crowd around the sofas to open presents and take it in turns.