So as I write this, it isn't actually Christmas, it's October 2020 but meh. It doesn't really matter.

Improbably gonna have to do a part 2 of this chapter but I'm not sure. We'll see how it goes :)

What ever time of year you're watching this, good luck for this chapter. I'm writing this after I've written the chapter so yeah. It's okay I guess.

Lana Del Rey up top - Born to Die

Love you 💋

On with the chapter ✨...

**************

✨Emilia's POV

My eyes web in confusion as I investigate the wrinkled paper in my hand; this was all so confusing to me.

The large number code has my mind boggled. I'd need to do some hunting on the net to help translate this, maybe Felix can help? The mobile number was easy to figure out, it was only the last number that must've been scratched off. It could be 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 or zero. I'd just have to try every single number until I find a caller that fits the best.

Or maybe I could translate the code first and then I'd get an idea who I should be looking for, maybe if it's family, I could be looking for someone with an accent. Or maybe I could say I was a friend of Alessandro's and then maybe I'll find out who this number belongs to.

Or I'm just a crazy psycho who needs to stop this for the night.

It's Christmas soon, I should be excited. Santa doesn't exist but I still get a thrill out of the idea of a strange man breaking into my house to give me gifts. Too bad I'll be getting coal this year.

Everyone goes through that stage whether they question the existence of Santa and the tooth fairy or the Easter bunny. I mean, I never believed in the tooth fairy. Plus, I still have a lot of my baby teeth left, especially at the back. Some of them are falling loose but they'll grow back eventually.

People usually have all of their adult teeth when they're like ten, and here I am with like three of my baby teeth in, they're almost there, they just need a slight tug and bam! They're out!

Small steps came my way, targeting Alessandro's room. Thinking fast, I tuck the crumbled paper into the waistline of my pants and pull my shirt over it. I run quickly to the old fashioned books on the shelf.

From moving so quickly, my chest heaved begging for air but I had to portray myself as au naturale instead of out of breath.

"Emilia. . .what a surprised to see you here, what're you doing?" Alessandro stands at the entrance watching me as I flick through the upside down book that rests in my hand.

Fighting around, I act surprised to see him by placing a hand on my chest. But something else catches my eye, the sharpen droppings on the floor. The wood chipping scattered everywhere with a slightly tinted dust of graphite.

I am dead.

"Uhh I'm just looking, like sisters do. Because I'm curious. And stupid. And I like reading. And. . .weird. You have great books. I'm just gonna. . ." I place the book back and point to the door with my thumb. As I fair to the door, I sweep the sharpens far under the desk with my fit where they can't be seen.

"Did you need some paper?" His voice catches me off guard and then I start to panic.

"What?"

"You left the paper out, I keep lots of it in my desk, did you need it?" He holds out some paper from the pile I mistakenly forgot to put away.

"Oh! Yeah! I wanted to practice. . .my handwriting. I wanted to learn cursive, you never know when cursive will come in handy right?" I laugh shakily taking the paper from his hands. I flinch when my fingers touch his; it pains me how I get a fright just from touching him.

He's my family, and I love him right?

Of course I love him, but not right now. There's somethings that's playing with me and I just really want to know what it is.

Smiling weakly, I nod showing my appreciation but stop when his voice commands.

"Stop. Would you like to. . .have tea with me? I know it's ridiculous, actually it's horrendous, never mind. Enjoy your day," he shakes the idea from his head.

I can use this to my advantage. Maybe if I speak to him, I can ask question that maybe he'll answer. But then again, this is Alessandro we're talking about. He's the king of avoiding my questions.

"I'll take you up on this offer actually. I'll ask Val to pop the kettle on, shall we?" I hesitantly place out a palm, waiting for him to accept it.

His palm in mine felt foreign and familiar at the same time. It was so cold and icy, stone cold and rough too, jagged and hardened skin tearing my own.

"Well if you must," he smiles genuinely, kissing my hand letting it tingle to the touch.

He kissed Luci.

*********

We sit in silence, eating scones and crumpets with gutter and jam, this felt at angle eating this at night. This was something I eat at noon, not at seven in the evening - especially on Christmas Eve.

The tea was piping hot so I only took little sips, Alessandro being the freak he is, gulped it down making the most disgusting sound and it slid sleekly down his throat.

"You called anyone recently?" I ask trying to gather as much intel as I can. Though it wouldn't help me the slightest, I needed a translation first of all to know what the conversation must've been about.

"I called Cordelia, that was around an hour ago. She asked how you were," he pours himself another serving of tea with no milk.

"I'm great," I try my best not to squirm when I dig the jagged nails into the palms of my hand. I find that it helps me lie much better. As I recall, my brothers have the gift of analysing my every move, there fire they're able to call me out when I lie.

"I'll be sure to tell her. Are you excited?"

"Excited for Christmas or excited that you're telling Cordelia that 'I'm great?'"

"Christmas. . . I'm sure you love Christmas right?" He asks sweetly.

"I used to, now I'm just. . . drained and exhausted. Christmas is just another day to me now. But yeah, you could say I'm 'excited,' but only for the food," I laugh at the end. It feels like tastebuds are tingling with anticipation of the food I dream to devour in my mouth. Mmm, yummy food.

"Listen," he pulls a folded piece of paper from his pocket. "I'm sorry. That doesn't even describe how I feel, I feel like I've failed you many times. But, I'm determined to make it right. To answer your questions, I desire you to be of age so you can understand things completely from another's perspective. I do, very much want to tell you, but I fear you will never talk to me again. So for now, I ask that we live the way we did before with no complications," he finishes his speech with a cough and nervous scratch to the neck making me cringe.

"Alessandro? You can't be serious. . .are you?"

"Very much so."

"If that's really what you want. . .then I guess we can move on," I lie, once again to his face.

You really think I'd stop this? Heck to the no, I'm not stopping until I find every single detail about this big secret of his. It was so intriguing, so magnificent. I get like a real life detective right now.

A small part of me is scared, that when I find this big thing out I'm never going to see the light of day again. Yes, I mean that they're gonna kill me possibly.

"Really?"

"No!" I say loudly.

"But you said-

"I know what I said. Stop thinking you can get away with everything. You may think you own me, but you don't. And when I find what this thing is, I'll make sure everybody knows."

"There is nothing to find out. You should really catch up on your sleep."

"I'll sleep when I find out what it is you're hiding-

"And what am I hiding?"

What was he hiding? He was definitely hiding something and I'll give my life to find out what it is.

"I. . .I'm not sure," my face goes blank when I realise, I don't have anything on him. Only the small unreliable sources from Felix, but he hates them that much he'd make anything up just to hurt them.

What do I have on them? Nothing! But I just can't stop the feeling that something feels so wrong.

"Exactly, please may we have a normal life?"

"Not while Blade lives."

"What did Blade do to you? It was o my two weeks ago you admitted your sibling love for each other," his tears apart his buttery crumpet.

"I'd love to his guts hang from the ceiling," a sinister smile wrenches my skin.

"Well, that's disturbing," he coughs again.

"He's really no better than Shawn-

"That's not fair," he points at me with a calloused nub.

"Is it not? He takes drugs, drunks alcohol, beats everyone up, has horrible friends - not Cassidy and Aspen - he enjoys hurting people as I quote, disrespects women. I could name the similarities all day, would you like me to continue?" I hold down a finger with every point that I make.

"No thank you, I get it, you despise him. But all I can do is advise you, he's not as bad as you may think. He actually loves you a lot," he acts proud and confident within himself.

Blade walks in with no expression other than he small smile ragging his cheeks. He opens the fridge and takes large gulps of orange juice, I watch as his adams apple bobs up and down.

"He isn't lying, in case you're wondering," Blade says calm and collected.

"Huh?"

"As much as you hate me, Mila, it won't stop me loving you no matter how much you want to hang me by my guts," he surprised me that he knew what I said.

"Stop being a liar, you hate me as much as I hate sprouts. And I hate them a lot."

"No, I don't actually hate you, it shocks me that you think that," he scrunches his face in bafflement.

"Why would it shock you? You treat me like crap, and me trying to hurt you shouldn't be a surprise," I roll my eyes and fold my arms.

"Admittedly saying this, I do treat you bad sometimes-

"Sometimes?!" I say a little too loud for Alessandro's liking.

"-Okay! Most of the times! But I'd still jump in front of a bullet if I have to," he expresses himself by flying his arms everywhere.

"I call bullshît," I squint at him.

"Emilia!" Alessandro gasps spitting his tea back into the mug.

"Sorry," I mumble to him giving him a sincere apology. I can't help it, it just comes to me!

"Anyways, you should go to sleep, it's going to be late. Santa won't bring you any presents," Alessandro laughs at me, taking the now cold mug from my hand.

"Santa doesn't exist!"

"He does. Don't say that or he'll bring you coal!" Alessandro shouts from the bottom of the stairs.

"Yeah right!" I shout back running into my room.

*************

It was almost midnight and I was sat onto my floor writing out the alphabet for the fiftieth time tonight, it was apparent that I could not remember.

Crumbled pieces of paper surround me in a sea of post it notes and crayons. I may or may not have been distracted for an hour and did a little bit of doodling.

"Holy shît," I deadpan feeling incredible stupid right now.

"Why didn't I think of this before!" My whisper yell, kicking away all the balls of paper in search of a new one.

I order the numbers from 1-26 and the alphabet - once again - A-Z. And ladies and gentlemen, we have our answer!!

It was pretty easy at first, but the twitch in my eye wouldn't go away so I kept in swatting my eye which made me lose track of my concentration.

"Holy in the mother of Sherlock and Einstein. I think I just solved something for the first time in my life," I whisper to myself feeling excited.

"I mean let's be honest here, this makes more sense to me now than it did hours ago, tired is the new remedy to thinking. I'll write that down," I talk to myself. Nothing new there.

"Sugar honey iced tea, I'm a bloody genius and not a spanner? Woah. A point to me," I pat myself on the back feeling proud.

Standing up, I shake my booty and tap my feet and wave my arms in the air feeling a wave of relief wash over me.

Once my little party is over, I begin by writing the translation down on a piece of paper.

Slowly, I mouth the words to the code with my tongue slipping out of my mouth so I can concentrate.

This should've come to me a long time ago, it's pretty simple actually. This was an A1Z26 code which means A is equivalent to 1 and B is equivalent to 2 and so on.

The code read: 'I have new supplies for our men give me a call and we can settle the money until then goodbye dear friend.'

Our men? Work colleagues? Money? What supplies?

Scurrying to find the piece of paper again, I double check to see if I have the code correct and I didn't miss anything out. There was something I noticed, this piece of paper was dated from two months ago. That must mean Alessandro must still be on contact with this mystery person.

Unlocking my phone, I go to the caller app and dial the number but I add a random number on the end.

I start with a zero and see if I get any results.

"Hello?" A man ruffles out, he was probably sleeping. It was almost midnight so that explains it.

I cough and make my voice deeper to imitate a mans voice.

"Hello there. I am Alessandro Russo's assistant. . . Elijah Russo and I would like to ask if you called him-

"Who?" He cuts me off sharply sounding irritated and exhausted.

"Alessandro Russo. . . Have you spoken to him?"

"Look, it's midnight and I'm trying to sleepy I don't know any Alessandro or whatever," he curses ending the call.

Well he was a little rude if you ask me. Maybe he really was just tired and trying to get some sleep.

I try the next number in hopes of getting any results, but no one answered, it just went to voicemail which I left quite a loud message telling them to wake up.

And so it went on, I got to the number six until my phone said "you have insufficient credits. Please top up." So that happened when I was only three phone numbers away from calling the mystery person.

"Ugh!" I groan standing up and creep out of my room feeling the cool touch on my toes of the floorboards.

A few lights pierced my vision from up the steps, people were still awake I think. Even shallow whispers of men down stairs were heard, but I needed the phone and couldn't use it if people were down there!

Huffing, I avoid going down the steps and creep into someone's room where I know I go.

Believe it or not, I was creeping into Blade's room. Maybe I can trick him into giving me his phone or I can snatch it from him discreetly.

Creaking his door open, I poke my head around the door to see him laying down straight. The moon lit room gave me the shadows of his still body. I could tell he was sleeping because his chest moved up and down slowly and small snores escaped mouth.

"Yeah?" He says shocking me.

"Oh. . .sorry I didn't realise you were awake," I say nervously scanning his room for his phone. It was dark, what would I expect? I seriously feel ridiculously dumb sometimes it hurts my brain.

"I was. You woke me up," he sighs quietly.

"That's one way to make me feel guilty. Sorry."

My arms fold across my chest as I slowly move in closer to his room while I still check everything around me.

"Come," he holds the covers open for me to slide in, I stand there awkwardly for a moment not knowing what to do. It takes me a moment to accept it, he was warm. Especially in the winter's frost; he made me warmer.

His arms engulf me into a hug, for a moment I just wish he could always be like this. But instead I'm surrounded by Blade and his still wrecked room. Sure he'd managed to put everything back the way it was but glass was still everywhere. And this is where conflict got us.

Conflict got me raging over the drugs he took, conflict got me wrecking thousands of pounds of luxuries in his bedroom. And now I'm feeling incredibly guilty about what I've done in the past.

That shall not stop me from my mission. I'm actually hoping to spread my mission out over the course of a month maybe? I don't want to rush into it and make it entirely obvious I'm onto them. Smooth gameplay. I must be agile.

"I'm. . .going to apologise right now. Let's not speak of this apology either," he mumbles stroking my arm gently with his hand.

"When you came home from that dîcks house," I grimace at the way he talks about Felix, he's anything but a dîck, "none of us really welcomed you home, and then hours later you find me. . .look I'm sorry. Especially about the drugs too, it's really not me. I should be a better role model and I'm hoping you can forgive me? Maybe?"

He hugs me tighter with both arms this time squeezing me like a rag doll.

"Blade-

"Don't decide now, I know I'm a absolute tosser and everything, I'm going to earn your forgiveness, I don't want it just like that," he clicks his fingers. Maybe if he clicks loud enough, a genie may appear.

If I could have three wishes, I'd: end world hunger, end unnecessary war and as selfish as this may be, I'd settle in a cottage in the country side. Maybe go to Sweden or or something. Actually, I've always wanted to go to Iceland or New Zealand. I want to go everywhere, but there are more important things in the world than my dreams.

"You're apologising? That new to me," I whisper to him feeling gloomy and miserable. He does apologise, but only when he's hurt me and and to be honest, I hate it when he apologises, it makes him think he can get away with things time and time after again.

"Yeah I know, and I'm still trying," you shouldn't have to try to be a good person, it should be built in you to be kind and generous.

"It doesn't matter," I didn't say I forgave him, I'm just dismissing it for now, I can't say I forgive him when really, I'm just dismissing my own feelings to make him feel better for the gazzilionth time.

Sighing, I snuggle into him feeling a little energised but exhausted at the same time. This warmth I was feeling had only ever come to me while my mum was alive, and somehow I was feeling this same exact feeling from a year ago.

Though I was excited for two things, Christmas - despite saying it was boring and that I hated it - and finding out the mystery caller. Christmas was coming closer and closer with every second, and it was getting more exciting with every second that passed by.