Milk and Honey alt version - Billie Marten

600k reads!!!!! Thank you all so much and thank you for even bothering to open my book. I'm not the best writer and I find my works boring sometimes but when you guys read it I feel amazing. You're all wonderful 🧡💛

On with the chapter 🤌🏻...

*********

✨ Emilia's POV

The entire night I cried. And cried. And cried. Until I was so numb that I couldn't cry anymore, Felix came to bed shortly after my dramatic episode and showered then came to bed. Weird to think we share a bed, it was comfier than mine believe it or not. It smelt of home and candles. The sheets were always ironed, which made them feel softer, and the covers were very large and king so you could wrap yourself up in it and still leave cover for your friend.

The creaking sound of the hinges twitched my ears. I knew who it was, but I pretended to sleep so I could avoid a conversation with him.

Talking was the least thing on my radar at the moment, I was too busy thinking. Damn the existence of thinking, if that was the case I'd be stress free from my mind that holds me captive.

"Em? You awake?" I squeeze my eyes shut tighter and snuggle deeper into the sheets to add to my effect. I hope he couldn't see the tear stained pillow that my head was rested on. At some point I contemplated rubbing my snotty nose all over the pillow but I had to remember it's not my pillow to leave a mark on.

Making it seem like i was gonna piss on it or something. I could do that and blame it on Tay if I like.

A presence looms over me and I feel them move away shortly. A light kiss is planted on my cheek a murmur if goodnight. Could he feel the heat off my cheeks on his lips?! To think of it, we did kiss a lot, on the cheek I mean. When we greeted each other, we always have pecks on each other's cheeks.

We were close friends.

I smile, I was discreet about it, but this is a place where I knew I was loved. Clearly I should've been raised by Felix's parent for the past few months rather than Alessandro and his brothers.

It's crazy really, how the social workers from earlier on could sum up my entire stay at the Russos in one speech and it took me so much courage to even speak out about how I was feeling.

"Felix?" I ask. Forget about sleep.

"Yeah?"

"I'm hungry. Is there any food left?" I ask as he releases a strained chuckle and sits up straight again. The weight from the bed moves to its lighter and the door is pulled open by Felix gently revealing a string of light that pokes through the door.

"C'mon!" He whispers.

I smile to myself despite him not being able to see it in the gloomy room. Secretly, I follow him downstairs where o drag my hands across the wall to find the lights.

Once Felix finds it, I shut my eyes immediately not being used to the blinking lights.

He hunts through the fridge and pulls out the ingredients for a chicken sandwich.

Arms pressing against the side, I jump up and watch him make the scrumptiousness and deliciousness. I scoffed it In minutes.

I wish every night could be like those nights. He made me happy when I'd cried all that time.

For the first time in two months I have never felt like this. When living with Felix I felt whole again and now... we are at a meeting thing with those people that shouldn't fucking concern me. This was about my brothers and not once have I been spoken to.

Weights were constantly being pressed down onto my shoulders and now they're too heavy. I wash I could drop them and move on but it won't let me. Not sure what 'it' is but it's hurting me.

I'm in deep pain internally and I just want to be freed. I cannot bare it anymore. Every time I'm around these guys I always feel like shit because three aren't doing any good to my mental health. They're deteriorating by the second.

"What we're going to do is we're going make you say something nice to each other. Try it out," the woman re-enters the room with a fresh form printed by Axel since she messed up the other one.

She and the man said they were going to evaluate how we act with each other and come to a conclusion. They also said they're going to pick up on Alessandro's behaviour throughout the day to understand what he's like.

I can help with that: he's a cruel monster that uses his privilege and money to buy his way out of situations and he's a little prick that gives me bad energy. Not to mention the misogynistic little rats he had for friends. And brothers.

"Uhh I like your hair," Alessandro says nervously.

"I like your... umm... I like your... clothes. Yeah, I like your clothes. Very... chic and smart I guess," I pull a cheesy smile exposing my teeth in an awkward manner. The truth is, there was nothing for to compliment.

"Okay that's a start. I'd now like you to make it sound like you really mean it. Tell each other you love each other," the man points between Alessandro and I.

"I...lo...lo...lo...long for your death," I tell him sweetly. I drew out my words to make it seem like I was going to say I loved him, that ship sailed when he lost my respect all those months ago.

"Okay!! Enough of that. Maybe we should try something else. Be honest with each other. Say something that you want," the woman slaps her hands on her laps with her eyes wide.

"Huh? What exactly is it I need?" Alessandro gives a pointed look.

"Well... give improvements to each other. Let it allllll out," the woman smiles between us, her hands remained nestled on her lap.

"Well. Umm I'd say Emilia you're too adamant that you're right all the time. You refuse to listen to me," his eyes don't leave the empty sup of coffee on the table.

"Oh really? That's funny. I thought a guy that cares more about his watch than me said something. My ears must be playing up," I run behind my ears for effect and move the hair away from them to listen to him.

"I do not!" Alessandro places an offended hand to his chest like I stabbed him.

"Yes you do. You care more about your money than any of your family and that's a fact."

"Oh shut up!" Alessandro growls at me. The social workers look at Alessandro's raging form and hits something down on a clipboard.

"See. That's not so difficult is it?" She says cheerfully but also nervously. She leans to the sides and whispers something in the man's ear.

"Moving on. I've noticed to don't act civil - or try to as fact. Alessandro is very passive aggressive and tries to dominate the relationship with anger, a family relationship consists of love," the man turns to Alessandro with a curled lip.

"Passive aggressive? Never heard of him," he scoffs rolling his eyes. He really knows how to act like a petty teenager doesn't he? To think he's old and still acting like this, no offence.

"On the plus side, I found a similarity. Well it's not a good similarity but it's still a similarity. You're both stubborn like a tough stain," the man concludes with a sigh.

Where's the lie? I can't find it. I am stubborn, and I'll openly admit to it (sometimes) because it's true. I'm just that way out sometimes.

I'm so fucking done with this shît.

**************

Every move I made, every step I took, they followed me around the house. I'm glad the meeting was over as quick as that.

They watched me eat and even stood outside of the toilet and reported how we all interact with each other.

Right now, I was sat on the floor eating dinner like a dog in front of the television while the football game plays through. Tay sat next to me shredding apart the small portion of pasta and laughing when she'd swallow it.

Not a huge fan of salad, but when olives are involved, count me in. Didn't like cucumbers that much, or the tomatoes but for some reason I felt rude to not eat them so I shovelled them down my throat trying not to gag.

I'm weird: when eating at someone else's house, I feel greedy if I eat all of the food but then I feel rude also when I don't finish my food. So I try avoid eating at people's houses so I don't have to fight myself in a battle whether or not I finish the meal or leave some.

"YESSSS!!!" Mr Smith throws a fist in the air when his supporting team shoots a goal. I smile not knowing what to do, I look up at Felix who was also cheering with a muffle mouth full of garlic bread.

Karen changed the channel to the news channel as Felix and his dad cry out in frustration.

"Karen! I was watching that!" He shakers throwing his hands in the air. Karen laughs and then quickly it fades when she looks at the news channel.

An explosion at a mansion in Sheffield. That's far away from here, hours away in fact. My body invites itself to move closer to the television as the news woman speaks through the screen.

"A tragic yet supposed accident happened today at mansion in Sheffield today. Four hundred unknown people pronounced dead and over a hundred serious injuries. It is still under investigation," the woman who was dressed in a red suit shows a green screen of the images behind her of the remains of the house.

"We now pass this over to John Richmand who is at the crime scene now," the video cuts and switches over to a man that's in his early thirties.

"Thank you, Jessica," he nods at the camera, "as we look here, the house is completely ruined, it's not sturdy and will crumble under your touch. Officers have told me, that this wasn't an accident. But why would anyone like to burn down a house with over five hundred residents in?" The man finishes his speech with a sad smile.

Bodies were being taken away by the coroners van in bag while others were being rolled away on a bed thing and into an ambulance. The fire department were there and so were the police. We don't like them, only the fire department.

The structure still there, but once a white, gigantic house was now burnt to the crisp with a charcoal and smoke poisoning the air. Died. The fire died just like those people.

Karen gasps with hand over her mouth as we all watch in awe, Tay cried whacking her arms and legs everywhere, I pat her back and shush her gently until she stops the crying.

Sitting on the floor with a baby wasn't how I planned to spend my evening, I wanted to do something fun since it was Friday. Maybe dance a little to some overrated music, or read a book. Maybe I could go to the shops and buy some snacks to stay up all night with Felix and call Rain.

Now that's my kind of fun.

I dig in my pockets for my phone but it was missing, I push my dinner to the side and run up the stairs and search Felix's room for it but it wasn't there. I even checked the bathroom.

It's wasn't there at all, this is where I began to panic and rush down to Felix.

"Can you call my phone? It's gone missing and I don't know where I left it please just call it," I beg him with my heart pounding.

His eyes widen as he nods ferociously. When I don't hear a ring throughout the house, my lips begin to tremble.

He called it numerous times and this could only mean that I left my phone back at the house.

"I think I left it at Al's," I say to Felix who was still eating his dinner. Suddenly, I wasn't hungry. I was more concerned about finding my phone rather than eating.

"You want me to go with?" He asks being prepared to love his dish aside to come help me. This is exactly why I love him til death.

Shaking my head, I refuse with wiggled finger, "no, no, I'll be fine," I sigh to myself pulling Felix's coat off of the rack and slip my boots on. I still didn't have a coat of my own so I was still using Felix's, besides, they were a comfier than my own.

I looked like I had no clothes on. Plaid skirt and a white collared shirt with a coat and boots on really did create the illusion. Fashion over practicality any day. My thought change quicker than Britain's bipolar weather; I tend to choose comfort a lot but this outfit was an outfit I couldn't go with comfort on.

"Where are you going, kid?" Mr Smith asks me just as I was about to reach for the cold door handle.

"Oh sorry, I just left my phone at the Russos so I need to go get my phone. I promise I won't be long," I assure him, he looks at me sceptical for a moment before dismissing me.

"Ooh darling are you sure it can't wait? It's dark outside and you know what people are like on the streets of London? Especially at night," Karen stands up and snatches a scarf from the coat rack and ties it around neck leaving it loose.

"No I need my phone. I can't live without it," I chuckle to myself over my pathetic thoughts. I really couldn't live without it; I'm a teenager what do you expect? Not to mention my mum bought me it and I'd like to keep it with me all the time.

"If you're sure... I can come with if you like?" She asks in a hopeful tone.

"No really, I'll be fine. Thanks for the offer though, enjoy your dinner, I won't be long," I reach for the door handle again and Karen closed it behind me.

I was alone. In the abyssal, ebony black night where leaves fluttered to the ground in a majestic manner.

Strolling down the streets, the spotlights of the moon shine down on me like I'm at the front of a stage, I twirled a little and giggling to myself feeling the sense of comfort in the darkness.

Darkness felt like home to me, darkened was a place I could hide without being found.

The streets lights ahead of me flicker like they were growing old and running out of energy, I wonder what it would feel like for them to die.

Gleefully running down the streets, I feel an essence of irenic breeze that lifts me into a bubble of security.

When I reach the house, I don't bother knocking, it's late and they're probably having dinner so I don't want to interrupt them. Loud chanters of happiness spit static splinters of sound into my ears deafening me.

I run into the living room that wasn't occupied and grab my phone which was placed face down on the table just by the bowl of shiny fake apples that looked good enough for you to eat. It was highly tempting, but then I remembered they were ridiculously overpriced polystyrene balls painted crimson red with a shamrock green gradient.

I licked my lips at the thought. They looked so juicy.

I was about to approach the exit but the laughters and clanking of a glass like something was being tapped against it breaking my ears. Curiosity got the better of me and I decided to investigate.

Squirming, I travel to the dining room door and push it open ajar and punch a eye to the crack peeping through.

Business men and women stood amongst one another, Alessandro was stood at the head of the table with Alvaro and Piero by his side. Across from my view, I see my other brothers clapping and cheering at Alessandro. All except Luca who was stuffing his face with the large, honey roasted pig that had an apple wrenched in its mouth.

Ew. That's just utterly disgusting to me, I was never a fan of pork at all.

I lean in closer and listen in to the chanters trying identify what they were saying.

Piero straightens his blazer and adjusts his tie then he lifts his glass of port and taps a mini spoon against it.

"AHEM!" He announces, germs exist bîtch.

The chatters quieten down to low mumbles as Piero prepares himself to make a speech. He looks to his left at Alessandro who was looking as proud as ever.

"Now, tonight is a special night. We have life changing news ahead of us, I have a few things to say to you guys tonight, we have a new baby Russo on our hands! You heard right, Alessandro and his... spouse are having a baby!" Piero rubs his palms together and I can't even imagine the sound that they would make. They looked rough and hard to the touch.

Say what now?! Oh hell to the no! I'm not gonna be an aunt for a baby that's gonna be raised by a misogynist little prick and a wicked rat he calls his girlfriend.

"We can proudly announce, that Marco's gang - Death's Eagles - will no longer be a pester to us!! Ever since we killed Marco gracefully his second in command tried to intimidate us. We are now the biggest running mafia in the world, we take them down one by one until we run the world! Fratelli e sorelle risorgeremo insieme, moriremo insieme. Il nostro legame è più denso del sangue stesso!" Loud hoots echo through the room shaking the chandelier.

[My brothers and sisters we shall rise together, we die together. Our bond is thicker than blood itself!

"We took over, making it harder for anyone to defeat our empire we have all built together. Romeo Russo -the Russo's grandfather - was the founder of the Italian mafia and it was passed down to his eldest son. And now, Alessandro is our king whom we honour and respect with our lives!"

I struggle to understand what Piero said, it was in Italian and I'm not familiar with it. Trying to comprehend it, my breaths speed up like an athletes running a marathon. My ears could not believe it, they must be deceiving me. This can't be true.

It's a lie. I can keep telling myself it but it all adds up. Just the last piece to the puzzle was all I needed and now I have it, I've pieced it together.

A puzzle is meant to be beautiful but this was just the horrifying truth.

A man, maybe Blade's age, raises his hand to ask a question, the cheers die down quickly as Piero silenced them. The boy asks: "how did you do it!" The boy shouts ecstatically.

"Ahhh yes! Our mafia's branches poured gasoline around the house and lit it on fire, our king decided that was not enough!! So he threw a grenade - many - and we watched our enemies burn in joy!!" Piero wraps an arm around Alessandro's shoulder. Al looked smug and impressed with himself.