I was sitting on the countertop, but I hop down when Mikey confesses, "I don't think Eve is alright."

My heart immediately drops.

"Fuck, what do you mean? Is she eating? Oh god, I didn't notice anything, just like last time!" Before I can ramble on in anger at myself any longer, Mikey stops me.

"No, dude, it's not the eating part I'm worried about."

I breathe a sigh of relief at that, though my heart is still beating unusually fast. "What is it then?"

"Well—" he starts, then interrupts himself, changing his mind. "—maybe it's nothing, you know, I'm probably overreacting."

"No, don't give me that bullshit," I say sternly, on the edge of raising my voice, only keeping it down because of everyone in the next room. "If something is going on with my daughter I wanna know about it."

A few moments of silence go by as Mikey just stares at the floor. He refuses to make eye contact with me, and when I take a step closer, I see why: His eyes are brimming with tears. He keeps his voice steady as he finally says, "She's just- she's saying stuff that reminds me too much of... that night."

My blood runs cold. I didn't think my heart could drop any lower than it already did, but it does.

I run my hands through my hair, feeling sick. "What'd she say?"

"I texted her yesterday when you were gone," he starts, sticking his hands in his pockets to keep himself from waving them around as he speaks. "I was basically like, 'Want me to come over and keep you company?' and she was like, 'don't you have a girl you'd rather hang out with than me?' and, like, she's never said anything like that before."

"Maybe she didn't want you around cause she had Emerald over," I half joke, almost wanting it to be true. But I know it's not, because now that I think about it, they've been more distant recently. The last time they hung out outside of school was for that Valentine's date.

"No, man, this was just a couple minutes before you got home," he continues. "And then today in the car she- she—"

He blinks and a tear runs down his cheek, but he wipes it away quickly. I know he's thinking about that phone call, and I know he blames himself for what happened afterwards. See, when he listened as I cried for what must have been hours about how what happened to Eve was my fault, how I could've prevented it all, how I couldn't believe I'd let it get so bad... he was crying to me, too.

"What'd she say, Mikey?" I ask gently.

He sniffs and takes a deep breath and when he speaks again his voice is as steady as it was. "She was talking about the case, okay? And how you and Lindsey are always so busy. And she was like, 'I'm just not worth it. They should just stop. I don't want things to be like this anymore.' And that's just so close to what she said over the phone."

"I didn't know she felt that way," I confess.

Working on a case to keep my daughter in my custody takes up a lot of time, but so does music. We've been working long hours to release a new album next year. But that's not as important as taking care of Eve and making sure she's okay, and now I realize I haven't been doing that enough recently.

"I don't want to get another call like that," Mikey says, and his voice isn't as steady anymore.

"'Course not, man." I squeeze his shoulders. "I'll- I'll talk to her tonight, 'kay?"

He nods and Ray walks into the kitchen at that moment. I drop my hands at my sides and Mikey furiously wipes his eyes with his palms.

"What are you two— w-what's going on?" Ray asks slowly, concern filling his eyes when he sees that my brother, the one who can keep a stoney face throughout any interview, had been in tears.

Mikey and I make eye contact and, in just a split second, seem to have a conversation that goes, "Do we tell him?"

"He's gonna find out anyway."

"You do it."

"No, you."

"Um," I sigh. "Has Eve seemed alright to you recently?"

"Yeah, why? Did something happen?"

I glance over at my Mikey again, but his gaze is stuck to the kitchen tiles. "Well, she said today- she said stuff. Kinda worrying stuff."

"Oh." Ray leans against the wall, exhaling as he runs his fingers through his hair. "I don't know, man, maybe something happened with Emerald? She hasn't been 'round here in a while, right?"

"She said it's just the case." Mikey pipes up without looking away from the floor. "She said she's just stressed about the case and how busy everyone is, but there's gotta be more to it than that, so maybe?"

"Yeah," I say. But I can't help but feel that it's all my fault. That it really comes down to me not being present enough. "Maybe."

When I come back to the living room only Frank and Lindsey occupy it. They're discussing baby names, and Frank is getting excited.

"Hear me out," he says, leaning forward. "Nakatomi! It works for a girl or a boy!" His face lights up.

Lindsey rolls her eyes. "I'm not naming my baby after the building in Die Hard!"

"Come on!" He throws his hands up, then spots me at the bottom of the stairs. "Eve! They want a creative baby name, so don't you think Na—"

"No." I plop down on the couch next to him.

"Thank you!" Lindsey exclaims.

"'Cause I think you should name the baby after something cooler, like Platypus!" Next to me, Frank cracks up laughing. "They lay eggs, but they're not birds. What's up with that?"

Lindsey covers her face in her hands, sinking in her chair just as Gerard returns to the living room, followed by Ray and Mikey. She peaks through a crack in her fingers. "Please tell me you heard what your daughter just said, Gee."

He looks scared as he replies, "What? No, what'd she say?"

"Doesn't matter!" I interject, then wink at Lindsey. "But I know you'll pull through."

She mouths the words, absolutely not and I laugh.

Gee shrugs it off and sits on the couch next to me, putting an arm around my shoulders. "So, how was school?" he asks.

"Fine," I say simply.

"Got any homework?"

"No." But honestly, that could be a lie.

The conversation shifts from the normal, boring stuff, to anything that isn't normal and boring. That, you can only expect from a room occupied by Ray, Frank, the Way brothers, and Lindsey. And me, of course.

But there's something about the way that those three filed out of the kitchen. The way that Mikey gave me a crooked smile, and Ray looked a little too stressed for his usual, chilled-out self, and now, how Gee has got his arm around me, hugging me closer than usual.

Like a hint that my facade might just be crumbling.

It takes until I'm up in my room again that night after everyone has left to find out what words were spoken in the kitchen between them.

I'm laying on my bed, eyes staring at the ceiling like I've forgotten how to blink. Headphones cover my ears and that familiar weight is on my chest. My forearms are stinging, always covered by the sleeves of my red and black flannel, and that's when Gerard enters the room.

At the sight of him, I pause my music and slip off my headphones.

"Evie," he says. He shuts my bedroom door behind him. "Can we talk?"

"Okay," I say, sitting up. "What about?"

My mattress dips as he sits next to me. I only realize how late at night it's gotten by the fact that he's already in his pyjamas. They're Star Wars pyjama bottoms, to be precise. "Mikey told me what you guys talked about in the car," he confesses, then quickly adds, "But don't be mad at him, okay? He's just worried about you."

"Why would he be worried about me?"

"Because of what you said, Eve."

"Then tell him I'm sorry and that he doesn't have to worry about me. I'm not worth all that fuss." I'm playing with my sleeves, tugging at them, but stop, clasping my hands together instead.

Gee sighs. "This is what he was talking about. You have to realize you're worth so much more than you think you are, Eve, really. That's why me and Linds have been working so hard for you. I know we're gone a lot and maybe I haven't been spending enough time with you, right?"

I lower my gaze. "I just miss you, I guess." I'm not lying, but I can't deny that I revel in the emptiness of the house when I don't have to sneak around to hide any and all cuts and scars.

"I miss you, too, but it'll all be over soon, okay?"

I nod even though there's a strong part of me that doubts any truth behind that statement. It'd be too much of a perfect ending for my fucked up life if it were. "Okay," I whisper.

"What else is bothering you?" Gee then asks.

"What do you mean?"

"I know you, something else is up. You're not this down all of a sudden because of the court stuff," he explains. Mikey had the same suspicions, which tells me they're really on my case, and I'm not talking about the court case.

I shrug. "I don't know."

"Did something happen between you and Emerald? How come you two haven't hung out recently?"

There it is, the perfect opportunity to lead them in the wrong direction. They don't need to know the truth. They don't need to know how close I am to breaking, how numb and empty I feel, or how I've stopped taking my meds.

"Oh, um—" I sigh and nod solemnly, internally cringing at my lies.

He knits his eyebrows in concern. "What happened, Darling?"

"We kinda got into an argument. It was dumb, really."

"Wanna talk about it?"

I wrack my brain for what feels like too long, but only ends up being a couple seconds at most, then some bullshit made-up argument leaves my mouth. "She's always asking me if I want her to tutor me in math and I just got fed up, but she was just trying to help. But, I don't know, I was a bitch, so her avoiding me right now is my fault."

"Oh." He nods understandingly and places a hand on my shoulder. "If you want my advice, just talk to her alright? Tell her you appreciate her wanting to help, but you can handle it yourself, you know?"

"Yeah," I say. "You're right."

I can't believe that actually worked.