By -

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The other day I had my 8th Grade Promotion Ceremony (or graduation) and Prom.

On this day I did something I didn't do often, wore a dress. And I put heels on for the first and last time.

While I don't wear dresses often, I do dress girly. (Blouses, right jeans, etc.)

To "graduation" my best friend wore a bow tie, slacks and suspenders. Another girl wore slacks and a button down shirt. They looked spectacular.

I had pure envy for them. They did something I didn't have the courage to do...be themselves.

They dressed like the opposite sex with no fear of possible ridicule.

And there I was, walking on stilts and not feeling as dazzling as everyone said I looked. I was in a way uncomfortable.

At prom that night another girl who is androgynous changed out of her dress and into a button down and jeans. She was/looked comfortable, she danced with girls and had fun.

While I danced a little and enjoyed myself, I had no where near as much fun she did. I pondered on this. Why? Why was she having so much more fun than me? Then it hit me like Chris Brown hit Rihanna!

She was being herself.

My best friend was being herself.

I envied their ability to themselves without being afraid of repercussions.

And in that moment I made a decision. A couple actually.

1. I will never wear heels again for the life of me.

2. I'm gonna be myself.

I've wanted to shop in the men's section since I've come to terms with the fact that I am Bisexual, but I've been afraid of what people/my family would say. They already call my sister a dyke behind her back. I come from a family that frowns upon being gay

But I'm going to high school next year and how will I ever get through life caring what others think all the time?

That said, this weekend I'm gonna figure out my sizes in men's clothing. I don't care anymore, I'm done putting my happiness on the line because of what I think my family will say.

I'm stoked for the rest of my journey.